


Don't Forget Me

by Anonwrite



Category: Scorpion (TV 2014)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Engagement, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Pregnancy, Quintis - Freeform, relationship, scorpion, struggles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-06-02 20:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 96,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6580330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonwrite/pseuds/Anonwrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Happy thought everything in her life was finally perfect, something she never expected would happen. But then Toby's taken and her life changes drastically. She doesn't know if she'll ever get back what she had worked so hard to get, but she will do everything she can to try.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Waiting

**Author's Note:**

> Based off an idea by Natashaashleyhopemikaelson on Tumblr. I hope you like it! Feedback is much appreciated! Thanks!!! :-)

Happy hated hospitals. She always had. They smelled too sterilized. They were too bright, too busy, and too large; a place that was impersonal and cold. They always made her uncomfortable, especially given her history with them. But this time was different. She didn't notice the smell or the lights or the nurses running around. Instead, all she saw, all she was focused on, were the doors leading to the OR. And all she felt was terror - complete, unadulterated terror. 

She sat there in the uncomfortable waiting room chair, eyes wide, jaw clenched, not talking. She ignored everyone around her and their attempts at trying to comfort her. Unconsciously playing with the ring on her left hand that Toby had just given her a month before. Back before everything went to hell. She shut her eyes tightly, trying to block out the the events from the past 12 hours. But no matter what she did, they just kept playing in her head. 

**12 hours earlier...**

"Everyone gather 'round, we've got a case," Cabe yelled across the garage loudly. 

"Seriously," Toby groaned into the crook of Happy's neck, "Every single time. Every. Single. Damn. Time. It's like they know when we're about to get it on."

Happy couldn't stop the giggle that escaped from her. She unwound her legs from around his waist and turned her head to give him a quick kiss. When she started to pull back, Toby tightened his grip on the back of her head, keeping her pressed to him as he deepened the kiss, his other hand continuing its earlier ministrations. Happy moaned quietly into his mouth and Toby felt her smile against his lips before pushing him back slightly. She rested her forehead against his, breathing hard, eyes slightly closed. 

"We have to get out there," she gasped. 

"Maybe if we ignore them, they'll forget we're here," Toby said breathlessly, pressing his lips to hers again. 

Happy let him kiss her a moment longer before pulling back for a third time. This time there was a determined look on her face. Toby sighed, knowing that they had to stop, but that didn't mean he had to make it easy. He stood straight up and smirked. Slowly, he removed his hand from her jeans, eyes locked on her. She whimpered quietly at the loss of his hand, then hit him gently. He was teasing her and she hated him for it. His smirk grew as his other hand caressed down the side of her body and around to the front of her stomach to button Happy's pants back up. Happy had to suppress a shiver, her eyes fluttering shut. At hearing Toby's chuckle, her eyes flew open and she pushed him away from her, hopping down from her workbench. She reached behind her, under her shirt, to reclasp her bra. 

Glaring at him, Happy muttered, "I hate you."

Toby laughed, pulling her to him and brushing a soft kiss on her forehead, "I love you too, baby." 

Toby grabbed her hands, his fingers playing with her engagement ring. A large goofy grin grew on his face. It was like he still couldn't believe she had agreed to marry him. She squeezed his hands to remind him they had to get to the rest of the team. Suddenly, the look on his face morphed from loving to mischievous.

"Fine, we'll get out there, but we are definitely finishing this later, Hap. Where should we do it this time?" Toby said, winking at her saucily. 

Happy resisted the urge to roll her eyes, "Not here, you dork. We've taken too many chances lately. We're going to get caught. Later, at home."

Toby chuckled as Happy thought about how they hadn't been able to keep their hands off of each other recently, for good reasons though. A slight blush rose on her cheeks as she thought of all the places they'd had a little fun lately - the bathroom, Toby's desk, the couch, the kitchen counter, and the roof, just to name a few. They had almost been caught a couple times, but that didn't stop them, it made it more fun and exciting. Just thinking about it got Happy all hot and bothered again. So she rose on the tips of her toes and pulled Toby's head down to kiss him lustfully. 

"I changed my mind. I like your idea. Let's ignore the team," Happy whispered against his lips, walking backwards to her workbench again, pulling Toby with her. Toby gripped her hips in response. 

Happy had just hopped back up on the bench - her lips to his, tongues tangled together, his hands under her shirt gently stroking the skin on her stomach - when the door flew open. 

"Guys, did you not hear- Oh! Oh I'm so sorry!" Paige gasped, her hand flying up to cover her eyes, rushing back out of the room. "I-I'll just leave you two alone." 

Happy's face turned bright red, as she quickly jumped back down. 

"Damn you, Doc."

"Hey," Toby said, throwing up his hands, "What did I do? You're the one who started this back up."

Happy jabbed his stomach as she walked past, "You know very well what you did. I can't seem to keep my hands off of you, thanks to you."

"I can't help it that you find me so sexy," Toby said, jogging to catch up with her, putting his arm around her shoulders.

Happy rolled her eyes and leaned in to him, "That's not why and you know it."

Toby's face turned into one of adoration as he looked down at Happy, "Yeah, I know."

Happy smiled up at him and lowered her voice as they walked nearer to the team hitting him with her hip, "But you are pretty sexy."

Before Toby could respond, Cabe started talking, obviously annoyed at having to wait. 

"The Serbians are in town and looking to buy these." 

Cabe held up a bullet between two fingers. 

"Bullets?" Toby laughed, "What? Do they not have bullets in Serbia?"

Happy jabbed him in the side hard, giving him a glare to shut him up. Toby winced and started rubbing the spot, but stayed quiet. 

Cabe sighed, "These aren't just any bullets. They have the latest technology in them that allows the bullets to lock on to a target."

Walter lit up in excitement, "I've heard about those. It uses the same technology that drones use, allowing the bullet to be accurate up to three miles away. This could change everything."

Cabe nodded, "Which is why we're needed. It's our job to find out where these are being manufactured before the Serbians, or anyone else, can get their hands on them. We can not have these in the streets."

"What do we have to go on?" Happy asked, examining the bullet Cabe handed her. 

Cabe pointed to the bullet, "That's it. This was used in a botched attempt at a hit on a federal agent. Something with the programming went wrong and failed to hit its target. But there are rumors that it has been overhauled and ready to hit the black market."

"Bullets like this need a chip in that can be programmed," Sly started, "If we can get that chip out, I can analyze the coding used to program it. Coders can leave clues behind of who they are. They might have even left behind the IP address of the computer used if they didn't take precautions. We can trace that and from there find the distributor of the bullets."

"Then let's get going," Cabe said, "Time is of the essence."

A few hours later, Happy had removed the chip and Sylvester and Walter had located the man who had created the program. Cabe brought him in to see what information they could get from him. At first the man was silent about the bullets, bragging about how they couldn't touch him, but Toby was able to pick up silent cues from this man. Before long, Toby had been able to get the location of where the bullets and guns were being stored. 

During the interrogation, Happy had pretended to be working on a small project nearby. It had started out as an honest attempt to do something with her time while the team waited for more information, but she quickly found herself distracted by Toby analyzing the man in front of him, picking up the slightest of twitches or the faint hitch in his breathing. She tried to drag her eyes away, back to the project in front of her, but she just couldn't; it was mesmerizing to watch him in his element, so at ease doing his job. She had never understood why Toby liked to watch her work so much, but now she did. It made her fall for him even more. 

Once they had the location of the warehouse, the team moved out. It was a short drive to the location the coder had given them - an abandoned warehouse on the edge of town. Cabe, Toby, and Walter were tasked with going in and retrieving the bullets and guns, while Sly, Happy, and Paige were to stay outside and keep guard, creating a distraction if needed. Happy never liked it when she and Toby were separated on a job. It was sappy and stupid, but she felt safer and comforted when she knew she was the one who had his back. It wasn't that she didn't trust the other team members, she did, she just preferred to be able to keep an eye on Toby herself. 

The team exited the van, checking their comms one last time. Happy pulled on the back of Toby's shirt, drawing his attention to her. He turned around, a relaxed smile on his face. 

"Yes, my sweetness?"

Happy rolled her eyes, but a smile graced her lips. She grabbed the edges of Toby's jacket and pulled him closer to her, his hands automatically going to her hips. Rising on her tip toes, she placed a quick, sweet kiss on his lips. 

"Be safe," Happy murmured quietly, placing another kiss on his chest, right over his heart. 

"You too," Toby whispered back, letting her go. He brushed his fingers gently over her stomach as he stepped back. Happy wouldn't have even noticed if it weren't for the quick flicker of Toby's eyes downwards. He looked back up and gave her a wink, then turned to make his way inside the warehouse. 

Toby, Walter, and Cabe entered the warehouse and within five minutes located the bullets and guns. Just as they were loading them up to bring to the van, Happy heard a loud bang, like a metal door being forced open, followed by Toby's voice. 

"Not good," he whispered. 

"What's going on?" Paige asked, worryingly looking around. 

"It appears there was a back door that we all missed and the Serbians have shown up to get their stash," Walter said quietly. 

"I've got backup on their way. And what?" Sly said, "There was no indication of another door on the blueprints I pulled up."

"Apparently they were wrong," Toby snarked back.

"Focus," Happy reprimanded, "Where are they and what are you doing?"

"They're on the other side of the warehouse," Cabe responded, "We're hidden behind the crates, but we can't wait for backup to get here."

"I can create a distraction with the van," Happy said, already making her way to the van. "Just a squeal of the tires will drawn their attention outside. You guys can get out and meet us down the block."

"No," Toby said firmly, "I don't like that. They could start shooting and then none of us will get out of here. I can't have you in danger too."

Walter sighed, "Toby's right. We will have to sneak out of here. Cabe can throw something in the opposite direction from us and the noise will distract them. Hopefully it'll be enough to give us time to get out."

Happy fisted her hand. She wanted to retort, but she knew it was only a matter of time before they were seen. They couldn't waste time arguing. 

There was silence for a few seconds, then a clatter from the piece of wood Cabe threw, followed by shouts from the Serbians as they ran to see what had caused the sound. Walter was whispering frantically for them to run. Happy held her breath. All of a sudden the Serbians shouts were louder and gunfire could be heard. Cabe was yelling at Walter and Toby to stay low. Walter burst through the door just seconds later, followed closely behind by Cabe. Happy ran to meet them. 

"Where's Toby?" she shouted, looking past them. 

"He was right behind me," Cabe said, between heavy breaths, looking behind him, "I don't know."

The sound of sirens could be heard coming up behind the team, but Happy didn't turn to look. She was frozen, staring at the door, waiting for Toby to come out. 

"Toby? Where are you?" Happy said anxiously in to the comm, but all she got in response was a painful moan. 

Suddenly the door opened and a man holding Toby with a gun to his head slowly walked out. Toby looked pale and as if he were in pain. He didn't struggle against the man, which Happy thought was strange. 

"I will shoot him again if you try anything," the Serbian said with a thick accent. 

Happy swallowed hard when she saw what he meant when he said again. There was a large blood stain the side of Toby's shirt that was getting bigger by the second. Toby had his hand over it to try to stop the bleeding as much as possible. He looked like he was going to pass out any second. Happy felt Cabe's hand on her shoulder, holding her back from running to him. 

"Let him go and we won't hurt you," Cabe yelled out. 

The man laughed sharply, "Likely story. He's our insurance."

Out of nowhere, a truck came speeding around the warehouse, tires squealing. The door flew open and Toby was pushed in, the man quickly following. Then the truck was off, leaving Scorpion behind. 

Happy turned to Cabe, "We have to go after them," she yelled desperately. 

Cabe looked at her with pity in his eyes, "We will, but we have to figure out the best way to do it. We can't just go after them. Most likely we are out manned and out gunned wherever they are going. Plus they have Toby. We can't risk him getting hurt more."

Almost everything in Happy told her to ignore Cabe and go after them herself, but a small part, the part that won out, told her it was illogical and if they wanted to get Toby back safely, they had to do this right. She took a shaky breath and nodded. 

"Ok, what do we have to do?"

It took them a few hours, but team Scorpion finally knew where the Serbians were holding Toby and had a plan in place to get him back. Sylvester had noted the make and the model of the truck and using that information, he was able to find the correct truck via security cameras. He had tracked it through street cameras, but lost it once it got out of city limits. Happy almost hit him with the wrench she threw at the wall when she heard that. It took some time, but eventually Sly and Walter had been able to pull information on the truck, allowing them to track it through its GPS. Once they found where he was being held, Cabe put a call into the SWAT team for backup. It was their plan to get a look at the house where Toby was being held through a camera attached to a remote control helicopter. Once they could get an assessment of what they were up against, Cabe and Walter were going to sneak in and get Toby, while the SWAT team was arresting the Serbians. 

Happy just hoped it wasn't too late. They had lost communication with him shortly after he had been taken, so they had no idea how badly he was hurt. She paced around the garage, too anxious about finding Toby to sit down. The panic she was feeling was unlike any other feeling she'd had before. Her stomach was turning and she kept going between feeling so angry she wanted to smash something and feeling so scared that she had to hold back tears and couldn't do anything. 

She looked up from packing her bag when Walter stopped by her desk. 

"I think you should stay here," Walter said matter-of-factly. 

Happy glared at him, pushing past him, "Go to hell O'Brien."

"Happy, you're emotionally compromised. We can't have you getting in the way."

Happy spun around and got into his face, "You don't get to tell me what I can or can't do, especially when it comes to Toby. I don't give a crap about efficiency or whatever. I need to be there. You wouldn't understand."

She turned on her heel and stomped out of the garage, slamming the door behind her. 

It was tense in the van on the drive, both from worry about Toby and what had transpired between Walter and Happy. When they got there, Walter ordered Happy to stay in the van. She would have punched him if Paige hadn't been there to calm her down. But she ended up listening, knowing they were wasting time arguing. She listened carefully as Cabe and Walter made their way inside to Toby. 

"We're here, Happy. He's in bad shape, but conscious," Walter informed her. 

Happy sagged back against the seat, relieved that they had gotten to him before he was gone. As long as he was conscious, there was a good chance he would make it through. 

"We're heading to the door now. Get the van ready to go," Cabe barked. 

Paige started the van, as Happy slide open the side door, making room for them to place Toby. Just then, shots started ringing out. The SWAT team was invading. Happy felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest. The last time there were shots, Toby was hurt and taken. She got out of the van, ready to run inside when the door opened and out came Cabe and Walter, dragging Toby between them, his shirt more bloody than before. Happy fell back against the van, tears springing to her eyes. Toby was safe. 

All of a sudden, an explosion ripped through the air, throwing anyone near the house to the ground with force. Thankfully Happy was far enough away that she wasn't hurt. She looked around frantically for Toby, Walter, or Cabe through the smoke and haze. A movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention, it was Cabe and Walter, running her way, carrying an unconscious Toby. 

"He's is bad condition," Walter explained, "He was conscious but the explosion knocked him out when we were thrown and some of the debris hit his neck. I don't know if it hit an artery, but it's bleeding hard. We need to get him to the hospital now."

Happy felt her heart sink as she listened to Walter. They quickly placed him in the car, Happy scrambling up after him. She grabbed his hand when she got in as Cabe sped off. Leaning down, she gently kissed his bloody and bruised face, while Walter worked to stop Toby from bleeding out. 

"Don't you dare leave me, Tobias. Not now," she whispered, a tear falling from her eye.

**Present time...**

Happy's hands shook as she waited, thinking about what happened, staring at the doors. They had been there for over two hours and there was no word yet. The knots in her stomach were growing; the more time she spent not knowing, the more her fear grew. Paige handed her a bag of chips, knowing she hadn't eaten all day, which Happy took, but didn't open. She couldn't eat at a time like this, but she knew Paige was trying to help. Paige sat down next to her, squeezing her shoulder to remind Happy she was there for her. 

Happy was about to make her way to the nurses desk and demand answers when the OR doors opened and the doctor who was taking care of Toby came out. He quickly made his way over to the team. When he got close, Happy jumped up, anxious to hear what he had to say. Standing so quickly caused her to feel dizzy and light headed; she needed to grab onto Paige's shoulder to help her balance. 

Paige shot her a worried look, "Are you ok?"

Happy nodded, "I'm fine. I haven't had anything to eat today, so I just got a little light headed."

Paige looked like she didn't quite believe her, but let it go when Dr. Shipley stopped in front of them. 

"How's Toby?" Happy asked anxiously. 

"Toby lost a lot of blood. There was debris lodged in his back from the explosion and his carotid artery was nicked, causing blood loss. The gunshot wound thankfully went through and through and didn't hit anything serious. With a blood transfusion, he should recover just fine from all of that, as well as a few cracked ribs. It's his head injury that will require further monitoring. It appears that he had previously been struck in the head before the explosion knocking him out. There were a few hairline fractures in his frontal bone and cerebral edema, or swelling of the brain. The intracranial pressure wasn't too dangerous, so we only had to put him on oxygen and IV fluids to ensure his body is getting enough oxygen and blood. We have already started to see the swelling go down. However, we won't be able to fully assess Toby until he regains consciousness, but I'm confident he will make a full recovery." Dr. Shipley gave Happy a comforting smile. 

Paige sighed in relief and hugged Cabe at the news, while Sly cheered and Walter smiled. Happy couldn't let herself do that though. Even though Dr. Shipley had high hopes for Toby, Happy couldn't let herself be relieved. Toby was still unconscious and they wouldn't know for sure he was fine until he woke up. It didn't help her nerves that she hadn't seen Toby since they wheeled him away either. She just wanted to see him with her own eyes and see that he was ok. 

"Can I see him?" Happy asked in a small voice. 

Dr. Shipley nodded, "Yes, but I do ask that you limit it to one person right now. Later, after he wakes, more of you can go in."

Happy nodded, knowing the team would understand, followed Dr. Shipley to Toby's room. He held the door open for her as she walked in. Inside, she saw a bloodied and battered Toby laying there looking so opposite of who he was. Happy had never seen him so still before. She gasped slightly, taking a step towards him and suddenly she felt the room spin around her. She faintly heard Dr. Shipley calling her name before her world went black. 

Happy opened her eyes slowly, not sure what happened. Then she remembered, she was at the hospital waiting to see Toby. 

"Toby," she almost yelled, sitting up quickly. She felt herself grow dizzy again. A hand gently pushed her to lay back down. 

"Happy," Dr. Shipley said soothingly, "Take things slowly. Toby's fine. He's in the bed right next to yours."

Happy turned her head and felt relief rush through her when she saw Toby laying there. She took deep breaths to slow her fast beating heart. Once she felt calm, she slowly sat up again. Dr. Shipley smiled at her. 

"How're you feeling?"

"I'm fine, still a dizzy, but I'll be ok. I just really need to see Toby."

Dr. Shipley nodded his head in understanding and took a step away from the bed Happy was on. Slowly, she stood up and made her way over to Toby, grabbing his hand when she got close. Just touching his hand gave Happy comfort. She leaned over to gently kiss his cheek before lowering herself into the chair Dr. Shipley slid over. 

"Happy," Dr. Shipley said, handing her a bottle of water and a granola bar, "You need to eat this. We had to run a few tests on you to make sure nothing was wrong. Did you know you were pregnant?"

"Um," Happy cleared her throat, "Yeah, we, uh, we found out last week. I'm six weeks along."

The doctor smiled, "Well congratulations."

Happy smiled, shooting a glance at Toby. He had been so excited when he found out. But that was quickly followed by the self doubt that he was going to mess up. Once she had reassured him that they were both going to mess up, but it was going to be ok, he let himself be happy again. He had picked her up and twirled her around, telling her how much he loved her before taking her to the bedroom to show her. Ever since then, it had been almost impossible for them to be in the same room without ripping each other's clothes off. Hormones, Toby said. But she thought it had more to do with how happy they both were. Happy smiled at that memory. 

Dr. Shipley continued, "I know you've been dealing with a lot of stress today, but you have to remember to take care of yourself, especially now that you're pregnant. That means eating properly and getting enough fluids. That's why you passed out earlier. Your body was telling you it wasn't getting enough of what it needs."

Happy looked down in embarrassment. She had been so worried about Toby, that she had completely forgotten to take care of herself and the baby. Toby would kill her when he found out. It was he that normally kept her fed, especially this past week. 

"I know, I just-"

The doctor moved closer and put his hand on her shoulder, "I understand. Don't beat yourself up about it. I probably would've done the same thing in your case. I'll leave you two alone now. Let me know if you need anything else."

"Thank you," she said in a small voice, afraid that she would break down. 

Once he left, Happy laid her head down on the bed next to Toby's leg, rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb.

"Toby, you have to wake up," she whispered desperately. 

She had spent the day trying to hold everything back, to hide what she was truly feeling and it was exhausting. Now that she was finally alone, she could let herself release everything inside her. It was then that she finally let herself truly cry. Cry about the worry she felt when Toby was taken, cry about the shock when she saw the explosion knowing Toby was near, cry about the pain she felt when she thought about him not making it. She didn't know how long she cried, but eventually the tears stopped. She wiped her face and realized how much lighter and more positive she felt. The cry was cathartic and just what she needed. 

Happy's hand drifted to her stomach, rubbing it gently. Happy smiled fondly as she thought of how Toby would do this every chance he got. He would walk up behind her in the kitchen and wrap his arms around her, placing his hands over her stomach. Or when they were in bed, he would slide down so his face was even with her belly and kiss it, before talking to it while stroking it lovingly. Happy always rolled her eyes when he did it, but she couldn't help but grin. Oh, what Happy would give to have him do that to her right now. Happy shifted her chair closer to the bed, grabbing his hand again. 

"Come on, Tobes, I really need you. You can't leave me now. Please wake up," she whispered. 

She squeezed his hand and started tracing the lines on it. It was calming and comforting just gently ghosting her fingers across his skin. She laid her head back down, unable to keep her eyes open any longer. This day had been exhausting, not to mention the baby growing inside her. Just as she was drifting off, Happy felt a small squeeze of her hand. It was weak, but it was definitely there. Her eyes sprang open when she felt the pressure again. Getting up, she perched herself on the edge of his bed. 

"Toby? Can you open your eyes? Come on baby, please?" Happy begged. 

A moan came from Toby. His eyes opened slowly and darted around the room before finally landing on Happy. A face splitting grin grew on her face. 

"Hi," she said, relief evident on her face. She leaned forward, stroking her hand down the side of his face lovingly. "I'm so glad you're awake." She leaned further into him and pressed her lips to his in the gentlest of kisses. She pulled back slightly and murmured, "So glad," then kissed him again. 

When she pulled back, she noticed that he had a confused look on his face, not smiling like she thought he would be. 

"Hey, what's wrong? How're you feeling?"

Toby cleared his throat, "Um, everything hurts and I've got a pounding headache, but..." He trailed off, looking down at their joined hands. 

"But, what? What's wrong?" Happy prodded. 

Toby looked up at her again, a mixture of sadness and panic in his eyes, "Who are you?"


	2. Forgetting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy realizes just how badly Toby was hurt and she fears for what that means for their future.

Happy was quiet for a moment, just staring at Toby, and wondering why he would ask her that. Maybe he was trying to lighten the mood, she thought. Letting a little laugh escape, she gently pushed his shoulder, "Ok, that was a good one. But you can stop being a jerk now. Like I would believe that you wouldn't remember me."

Toby didn't laugh though. He didn't even crack a smile. Instead, he continued to stare at her. Happy could see there was real confusion on his face. Slowly it dawned on her that he was being serious. He really didn't know who she was. 

"Oh my god," she whispered, "You're not joking. You really don't know who I am, do you?"

Toby shook his head. A terrified look settled on his face. Happy's stomach dropped, a sick feeling washing over her. She stood abruptly, her hand flying to her mouth. 

"Oh god, no. No, no, no," she said frantically, "This cannot be happening. Do you remember anything?"

Toby cleared his throat and closed his eyes, thinking hard, "No, not really. I can remember my childhood and graduating from med school, but everything else after that is gone," he took a deep breath and when he opened his eyes, he looked straight at Happy, desperation on his face, "I don't even know how old I am."

Happy gasped and slowly sat back down on the edge of his bed, reaching for his hand, but he moved it out of reach. Her heart broke into a thousand small pieces. "You're 34. The year is 2016."

Toby looked surprised, "You mean I've lost almost 17 years of memories? What happened?"

Happy swallow hard, "I don't want to believe it, but I think you have lost them. You were taken and suffered some head trauma, among other things." Happy didn't want to tell him anymore about that yet. It was almost a blessing that he didn't remember what had happened to him. "Do the names Walter or Sylvester or even Amy mean anything to you?"

Toby shook his head no. 

"What about Scorpion? Does that sound familiar?"

Toby growled in frustration, "No, none of that means anything to me. I don't even know where my practice is or how many patients I have. I don't even know your name."

Even though Happy had heard Toby say he didn't remember, it wasn't until she heard him say he didn't know her name that she realized how serious this was. She wanted to scream. After sitting in the hospital, sick with worry about Toby, this was the last thing she expected. It had never even crossed her mind that when he woke up he wouldn't remember anything. Everything was supposed to be fine, but now an uneasy feeling had settled over Happy again. She took a deep breath to calm herself. 

"I, uh, I'm Happy."

Toby let a small smirk form on his face, "I didn't take you as a person who made jokes during serious situations."

Happy gave him a small smile, glad to see his spirit wasn't completely broken yet, "No, that's my name. My name is Happy. Happy Quinn."

"Oh," Toby said, "Are we - are we married? Do we have kids? Pets? A house? What do you do? Is my practice located near here? Where are we even?" Toby shot off question after question. 

Happy held up her hand to stop him. She automatically started playing with the ring on her finger. Normally it brought her comfort. It was a reminder that Toby loved her so much that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. But now, now it felt like a heavy weight on her finger. It made her nervous. 

"No - no we aren't married. Yet," she held up her hand again, this time showing him the ring on her finger. "We're engaged though. And no kids." Happy didn't tell him she was pregnant. She didn't think he was ready to hear that yet. "As for your other questions, we're in LA and we live here, but no house. No pets, but you keep asking me to get you a dog," Happy smiled at him, trying to reassure him that he would be fine. 

Toby let out a chuckle, "I always wanted a dog when I was little. But with the way my parents were, I never could. Are we happy?"

Happy nodded and bit her bottom lip, holding back tears, "Mmhmm, very."

Toby grabbed her hand, "I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything. I'll be fine."

"Ok," Toby said quietly, but looked down at his lap. It was clear he didn't know what to do or what to say, but he obviously felt like this was somehow his fault. 

Happy couldn't have him blaming himself, so she squeezed his hand and started talking again, hoping it would be enough to distract him and convince him she would be fine. 

"I'm a mechanical engineer. And we both work for Scorpion, a team made up of geniuses that works with Homeland. We do take outside jobs from time to time though."

Toby smiled, "So you're a genius too?"

Happy nodded.

"And I don't have a private practice?"

"No, you don't. You use your training as a behaviorist to profile suspects and help with investigations. You're also our go to for any medical problems. You've treated us all more than once."

Toby leaned his head back against the pillow, his smile growing wider, "So you're telling me that I'm the reason everyone on the team is still alive?"

Happy rolled her eyes, "Good to see your ego is still intact."

Toby closed his eyes. Happy could see he was still searching his brain for any memory, any familiarity. 

"Uh, who else is on the team? What are they like? Are we close to them or is it just a normal workplace?"

Happy opened her mouth to tell him more, but before anything came out, Dr. Shipley walked in. 

"Dr. Curtis, glad to see you're awake," he said, smiling as he walked in. "How are you feeling? Your body went through quite a lot today."

Toby opened his eyes and shifted to sit up. He winced and fell back against the pillow. Happy quickly stood to help him. He smiled his thanks and then looked at the doctor. 

"I was feeling ok, just a headache, but that was before I tried to move. I didn't realize there was more wrong with me, aside from my head."

Dr. Shipley looked over at Happy, concern on his face. Happy was nervously chewing on her lip. She quickly glanced down at Toby again, before turning to face Dr. Shipley. 

"Toby can't remember," she said quietly, almost afraid to say it out loud. It was as if she didn't mention it, maybe it would go away, but saying it out loud made it real. 

"Anything?" he asked.

Toby grabbed Happy's hand, letting her know he would explain. It was comforting to Happy. He may not remember her, but he was still trying to comfort her, make her feel better. He was still acting like her Toby, even though he didn't know it. 

"I can remember my early life, but that's it. Anything from the past 15 years or so are gone. The last thing I remember was graduating med school, and that was 17 years ago."

"Hmm," Dr. Shipley muttered, obviously perplexed, "You did suffer head trauma to the frontal lobe of the brain. As you know, any trauma to the head can cause serious problems, memory loss included. However, it is rare for such large memory loss to occur with this type of injury. Let me run some tests to see how the swelling in your brain is progressing or to see if we missed anything. After that, we may be able to better understand what's going on. I'll be back in a few minutes."

Both Toby and Happy nodded, murmuring their thanks. Happy couldn't believe this was happening. Even the doctor didn't know what was going on. This was turning even more worse by the second. She had hoped he would give her something, anything to grasp on to, giving her hope, but he hadn't. Instead, he left her feeling more sick and scared. Happy felt shaky thinking about it and could feel blood rushing to her ears. She sat quickly, hoping Toby wouldn't notice, but he did. 

"Hey," he said soothingly, "Are you alright?"

Happy let out a harsh laugh, "You're not the one who's supposed to be comforting me right now. I'm not the one who just lost my memory."

Toby didn't laugh. Instead, he took her hand and rubbed her knuckles with his thumb. It was calming, just the effect he wanted it to have. Happy knew that Toby had to be internally freaking out, but he was staying calm on the outside. She knew it was for her. He didn't want her to know how scared he was. He was protecting her, even though he had no obligation to her, no memory of her. 

"This is just a lot to take in," Happy said quietly. 

Toby tightened his hand around hers, "Don't I know it. What even happened to me?"

"I don't think we should talk about this now," Happy said, desperate to not have to remember it, scared of breaking beyond compare, and terrified to let this memoryless Toby see her in such a sad state - worried he wouldn't like what he saw. 

"Happy, I need to know. I need to know how I lost my memory. Why my life is all a blank in my head. I have so many questions going through my head that I don't think will be answered, but this is one I know you can answer. Please?" he asked, clearly frustrated by the situation. 

Happy didn't want to talk about it, she didn't want to remember some of the worst hours of her life, but she knew he needed to hear it. He had been considerate with her feelings, comforting her when she needed it, and it was her turn to do the same. She had to set aside all of her worries and focus on Toby and what he wanted. So in an anguished voice, she told him what had happened.

"Scorpion was tasked with finding specialized bullets that can be programmed with something similar to GPS so that it'll never miss it's target. The Serbians are in town and were looking to buy them, but if something like that hit the streets, it would cause chaos. We were able to find the man who programmed them and you and Cabe, our government handler, interrogated him. You were able to get him to reveal where the bullets and corresponding guns were located, so we made a plan to take them before they got in the hands of anyone bad. You, Cabe, and Walter, our boss, went into the warehouse to get them when the Serbians got there." Happy paused and swallowed hard. This was the part where Happy's life was completely changed and she didn't know if it was ever going to go back. Wringing her hands nervously, she continued, "They entered through a back door that we didn't know about. You three were discovered and gunshots rang out. Cabe and Walter came through the door, safe, but you didn't." 

Happy looked out the window, away from Toby, as a tear fell out. This day had been her worst nightmare come true. She didn't want him to see her like this, so broken and sad. He had once told her that he wanted to see and loved all sides of her, the strong and weak, the happy and sad, but that was back when he loved her. And now, this Toby sitting here was her Toby in so many ways, but still a stranger. She hated being so vulnerable around a man who was learning who she was all over again. She was scared that this Toby wouldn't want her or love her like the Toby she had fallen for did. She was scared that not only would he never remember her, but he would leave her, just like everyone else she had ever loved did. This Toby had all the power now, her heart was in his hands. 

She quickly wiped away the tear and turned back to him. He looked concerned. She smiled sadly at him and told him the rest in a shaky voice, "When you finally came out, a Serbian had a gun to your head and was threatening all of us. You had been shot in the side," Happy gently brushed her fingers over his injured side. "A truck came around and you were thrown in. It took us a few hours but we finally found you. When Walter and Cabe went in to get you, they said you were in bad shape. It appears they had used you as a punching bag of sorts." 

Happy's voice broke and she looked down. A soft hand brushed against her cheek, wiping away another tear that had fallen. She looked up at Toby. He looked like he was in pain himself, probably from being told about what had happened. 

"You don't have to go on," he whispered, "This has to be hard on you."

Happy steeled herself, determined to finish, "No, you wanted to know what happened. I shouldn't even be crying, you're alive. I never cry, but I'm more emotional now because-," Happy stopped, realizing she was about to tell him she was pregnant, something she couldn't do yet. She shook her head, "No, it doesn't matter. You don't need to hear excuses. You just need to hear what happened." She took a deep breath, "Walter and Cabe were bringing you out when the house exploded. You three were thrown to the ground. You were knocked unconscious and had a back full of debris. Some of it had even nicked your carotid artery. We rushed you here and that's that. Now you're awake, but can't remember."

"Happy, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I can't imagine. And then you thought I was going to be ok, only to find out I don't remember you." Toby hit the mattress, "Damn it! Why did this have to happen?" he yelled. 

Happy's voice was firm, but quiet when she spoke again, "Listen Toby, this is not your fault. I'm going to be fine, no matter what happens. Don't blame yourself for not remembering because I don't. Just focus on yourself and don't put pressure on yourself. Let's just take this one day at a time. I know it's scary and awkward and neither one of us know what to do, but it'll be fine. You're alive and, right now, that's the most important thing."

Toby looked at her and Happy could tell he was unsure what to do. He didn't know her, so he couldn't pull her close, but she was engaged to him, so he felt like he had to do something. Happy could see him warring with himself. It had been different when he grabbed her hand for comfort and support. That was in his nature to help those who needed it. But right now was different, they were trying to help each other, they were trying to muddle through the unknown, and what Happy wanted, what she needed, was not something he could give to her. He couldn't pull her close, wrap her up in his arms, and say everything was going to be fine, that they were going to make it through this. And a simple hand hold wasn't enough, so he was at a standstill. So instead, they just looked into each other's eyes, waiting for someone to tell them what to do. 

"I-" Toby began, but he stopped when Dr. Shipley and two nurses came into the room. 

"Dr. Curtis, we are going to take you for your tests now. It'll take a couple hours, Ms. Quinn, so I suggest you get some rest. You need it."

Happy nodded and stood, moving away from Toby's bed. Toby turned his head to look at her as he left, almost as if he were scared she wouldn't be there when he returned. She tried to smile reassuringly at him, but she didn't know if he believed it. Dr. Shipley stepped toward her, a worried look on his face. 

"Happy, have you told him that you're pregnant yet?"

Happy shook her head no. She didn't know how to tell him when she was a stranger to him now. 

Dr. Shipley sighed, "I understand. That would be a lot for him to process. I'll make sure not to say anything, but in the meantime, you have to rest. You've been under a lot of stress lately and that's not good for the baby. I know it's hard, but try to sleep and get something nutritious to eat. I hope you don't mind, but I have food on the way up for you. That granola bar isn't nearly enough."

"Thanks and I'll try," she whispered. 

The doctor patted her arm, "Good. And I've made sure to make arrangements so that no one else will be in this room, so the other bed is open for you."

Happy smiled her thanks and then Dr. Shipley left the room. Happy was suddenly all alone again. She couldn't face the team and tell them what was happening, not yet. Not until she had a few more answers. A few minutes later, the food arrived. Happy tried to eat it, but everything felt like cardboard in her mouth, so after a few bites, she gave up. Slowly, she made her way to the other bed and collapsed on top of it. Exhaustion swept over her. She didn't realize she was that tired, but with the day she had, she wasn't surprised. A restless sleep quickly overtook her. 

Happy was woken two hours later by a nauseous feeling. She quickly ran to the bathroom where she emptied the little she had in her stomach. Groaning, she sat on the floor, leaning her head back against the wall. She ran her hand over her stomach, it was comforting and it reminded her of Toby.

"Hey baby," she whispered, "Thanks for making me sick. That means you're growing and healthy. Your dad told me yesterday that you're the size of a lentil this week. It's a good thing you're not bigger, because your dad doesn't remember us. Don't tell anyone, but I'm scared. I'm scared that we're going to be left all alone again and he won't want us anymore. I know it's early and we don't know if he'll get better, but what if he doesn't? I need him, baby."

She took a shaky breath as a new wave of panic rushed over her. She hadn't let herself truly believe that Toby wasn't going to come back from this. But saying it out loud, voicing her concerns, she realized there was a very good possibility that could be the case. She didn't know what she was going to to. She finally let herself get close to someone, rely on someone to always be there for her, and here she was coming to terms with the fact that he might not be. She had been right in the past in believing no one stays.

"At least I'll have you," she said quietly, looking down at her stomach. She patted it one more time and stood up. 

"Happy?" a voice yelled from the room. It was Toby. They must've just brought him back. 

"In the bathroom. I'll be right out," she said. Quickly she rinsed out her mouth and took a steadying breath, then made her way out. 

Toby looked relieved when he saw her. It was a quick flash on his face, but having been with him for as long as she had, she had picked up on some things. 

"Did you get some sleep?" Dr. Shipley asked.

Happy nodded and took a seat next to Toby's bed, opening another granola bar she found on the table, "Did you find anything out with the tests?"

Shaking his head no, Dr. Shipley explained, "Unfortunately, I didn't see anything that could have caused this. The swelling has completely gone down and there was no abnormal brain function. I wish I had better news. Since everything is normal, it's my hope that the memory loss is temporary. My suggestion to you is to try to jog his memory. Show him pictures, tell him stories, take him to familiar and favorite places."

Happy sighed, wishing she had been given better news, but it wasn't the worst news to get, "Thank you."

"Of course. I'll be back later to check on you again. Hopefully you'll be able to get out of here tomorrow."

Once the doctor left, Toby turned to Happy, "So not the worst news."

"Nope, but not the best."

Toby laid his head back down and closed his eyes, "I'm tired, but I don't want to go to sleep. Can you talk to me? Tell me about the team, this Amy girl you mentioned."

Happy stared at him with wide eyes, "Um, Doc?"

Toby opened one eye to look at her. 

"I know you don't remember this, but I don't really like to talk. Never have. Normally you have to prod me along. I'm not very good at it."

Toby opened his other eye and smiled at her, "Just pretend you're me. It seems like we've spent some time together. I'm pretty sure you would've had to pick some stuff up."

Happy laughed, "Yeah, sometimes I can't get you to shut up. You love to just go on and on."

Happy noticed Toby's smile fell when she talked so easily about their time together. It was clear that he hated he couldn't remember. So she took a mental step back and made a note to not bring up the past between them so casually. She needed to take things slow with him. 

"Ok, so the team," Happy changed the subject, rubbing her hands together. "Walter is our boss. He has an IQ of 197 and it's obvious. Little to no EQ at all and he has to be right about everything. I was actually similar to him, suppressing my EQ, before you. You've helped me in many ways," she smiled and started to reach for his hand, but stopped herself, not wanting to make things uncomfortable for him. She blinked and got back to what she was talking about, "But back to Walter. You two are best friends, even though you're always getting on his nerves. Sylvester is a math genius on the team. He's like a little brother to both of us. He's sweet, but has a lot of fears. You'll see for yourself what I'm talking about. Cabe, he's our handler. He's like a father-"

"Hey," Paige said, popping her head in the door, "Is it ok if we come in? We wanted to check in on Toby."

Happy stood up quickly, "Oh, um," she looked to Toby, to see what he wanted to do. 

He shrugged, seemingly telling her with his eyes that they had to get it over with eventually. 

"Yeah, come on in. But you should know-"

Happy was interrupted by Paige rushing in, heading straight for Toby to give him a hug, "Oh my gosh, Toby. I'm so glad you're ok."

Toby awkwardly hugged her, looking at Happy for help, but she had moved back to allow the team to come in. He cleared his throat, "Um, are you Amy?" he asked. 

Paige quickly let him go and four pairs of eyes turned to stare at Happy with wide eyes. Happy stood there staring at Toby, fighting back tears. Her arms were wrapped around her and she was nervously chewing on her bottom lip. 

"What's going on, Happy?" Walter asked. 

Happy opened her mouth, but nothing but a small squeak came out. She didn't want to say it out loud to the team. She had just accepted it herself, but that didn't mean she didn't hold out hope this was all a bad dream. 

"Happy," said Paige sympathetically, walking over to give her a hug. 

"Are you ok, Toby?" Sly asked.

Toby shifted on the bed, "I'm fine, or well I will be. But it appears that the trauma to my head caused memory loss. I don't remember anything that happened after I graduated med school."

"Oh my god," Paige whispered, "Is there anything we can do?"

Toby shook his head, "Not really. People are supposed to tell me about things and hopefully it'll spark something. I've looked at the scans myself, and there's nothing physically wrong up here," he said, tapping the side of his head. 

"Then that's what we'll do," Paige said determinedly, reaching for Happy's hand. "We'll do everything we can to help you remember."

A chorus of agreement followed her statement. Happy looked over at Toby and caught his eye as the rest of the team pulled up seats around the bed. He gave her a hopeful look. She could tell he was determined to push himself to remember. Happy couldn't help but smile. When she was here, surrounded by the team, surrounded by her family, Happy felt that everything would be alright. Even if Toby never remembered, the team would always be there for her. And maybe, just maybe, everything would turn out just fine for her and Toby, with or without his memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it! Stay tuned for chapter 3 to see how things progress! :-)


	3. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toby tries to pretend everything is normal, but Happy sees the truth. Things only get harder once Toby gets the okay to go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After that finale, I had a hard time writing this! I hope you like it! Feedback is much appreciated! :-)

The team stayed for a few hours, telling story after story to Toby, trying to help him remember. He smiled and nodded when appropriate, but it was clear nothing was familiar. He asked questions about the team and what they did, laughing when a particularly funny story came up, expressing shock when he learned how dangerous their jobs could get. Happy sat back, curled up on the chair in the corner of the room, and watched as Toby formed new bonds with what had become her family, his family. As glad as she was that Toby was going to be fine and that he was getting along with people he didn't remember, a dull ache remained in her chest when he shot a glance her way filled with a desperate look to remember. Or when he would ask a question about one of the team members, herself included, she had to hold back her tears because just two days earlier it was common knowledge for Toby. 

Happy remained silent as everyone else talked. She couldn't force herself to join in on the conversation and tell the stories that she knew Toby wanted, needed, to hear. She ignored the glances Paige sent her way, choosing at those moments to look on her phone or open up something to eat. She didn't know how to deal with those pitied, yet worried looks. She had never liked being the focus of someone and still didn't, unless it was Toby. She found herself dozing off a few times, hands unconsciously going to rest on her stomach. Right now, that was the only thing she found comfort in. But seeing as the rest of the team didn't know yet, she couldn't stay like that for long, not wanting to raise suspicion. Once her hands moved away, the feeling of comfort lulling her to sleep left her, so she would sit back up and continue to observe. 

It was clear to her that Toby was getting tired, but every time she made a move to get the team to leave, Toby would look her way and she could see him pleading for just five more minutes. Happy had become well versed in all looks Toby, and even though he may not remember, when he wanted something he still looked at her with what could only be described as a puppy dog face and she could never say no to that. So she would sit back down and Toby would smile his thanks at her. It amazed Happy that they could still communicate without words after what had happened. 

She gazed out the window and let her mind wander to thoughts of good times with Toby. It brought a smile to her face when she thought of the time Toby had broken the garbage disposal and instead of telling her, he tried to fix it himself. The second he turned it on to use, all the food that had been sitting in there sprayed up, covering him. Happy had laughed so hard when he turned around, an annoyed look on his face. But she quickly stopped when she saw the mischievous twinkle in his eyes and she started slowly backing away from him. He started chasing her around the apartment, eventually catching her and dragging her to the shower with him where they spent much longer than they needed to, covering each other with kisses, before he carried her to the bed where they spent the rest of the night slowly, lazily loving each other. Her hand went to her stomach again. It had been six weeks since that night, the night, Happy believed, their little one to be was made. It had been only one of the millions of times they had shared a fun, light-hearted, loving night together. Everything was easy between them. She was pulled back to reality when she heard Toby asking more questions. 

"So, you all keep talking about Ralph. From the way you're talking about him, it's obvious he's a very special kid. Is he your's and Walter's, Paige?"

Happy hid a laugh behind her hand, Cabe coughed, and Sylvester looked around nervously. Paige looked down at her hands, turning bright red, while Walter started sputtering.

"Uh, we," Walter cleared his throat, "we're not together. Ralph is not my son. Why-why would you ask that? Love is illogical. I-I don't have feelings like that."

Toby let out a chuckle and rolled his eyes, "You keep telling yourself that, Wally."

"It's Walter," he muttered.

Toby ignored him and continued, "It's clear there are strong feelings between you two. The way you pulled the chair over for Paige and the look on your face when she talks is very telling."

"Toby, you-" Paige began, but Toby continued to talk over her. 

"And Paige, don't get me started. The blush you get whenever he looks your way and the dilation of your eyes, clearly means you have feelings. Why are you two ignoring the signs? Suppressing your feelings only causes trouble."

"Because there's nothing there. And besides, I have a rule against workplace relationships," Walter said. 

Toby looked at him, "But you obviously were okay with the relationship between Happy and myself."

"I didn't have a say in that. You two told me I was going to have to deal with it or fire you both."

Toby laughed and looked at Happy, "I knew you were a hard ass, Hap."

Happy inhaled sharply when he called her that. No one but him had ever used that name. It was a special thing between the two of them, that and those ridiculous nicknames he would come up with. It made her feel just a bit more hopeful that they would be alright. 

"It wasn't just me, Doc," Happy said, breaking her silence, "You almost got in Walt's face about it."

Toby's eyes opened comically wide, "Really? You mean I questioned authority? I can't believe it." He sent a wink Happy's way, making her smile grow bigger. 

Walter didn't seem to get that Toby was joking though, "You've always caused problems with authority. You never listen-"

"Wow, you need to relax and learn to take a joke," Toby interrupted him, laughing. 

Walter turned bright red, "I-I knew you were joking. I was just-"

"Mmhmm," Toby said nodding. 

The rest of the team laughed. It was a nice sound to hear after all the worry that had been surrounding them. Happy looked at Toby and even though he was laughing, Happy could see the anxiety and worry hidden behind it. He was trying to mask his feelings for the sake of the team, but Happy knew the truth. Just as she knew he was in pain, both physically and emotionally. He would grit his teeth every time he moved slightly and he would bring his hand to his head, although he tried to play it off that he was scratching. There was also sadness in his eyes, confusion that wouldn't go away. But he was still Toby, still trying to put the good of the team before himself. He was still doing whatever he could to help the team heal, regardless of how it was affecting him. 

"Alright," Dr. Shipley said, entering the room, "I think it's time you all let Dr. Curtis get some rest. It's the only way he will continue to heal. I'm hoping that he will be able to get out of here tomorrow, so you can all see him then. But for now, everyone out." He turned towards Toby, "I'll be back in a few minutes to check on you and see how everything is progressing."

Paige turned to Toby, "Is there anything we can do before we go? Get you anything? Do anything?"

Toby shook his head and leaned back against his pillows, clearly overtired, "No, I'll be fine. You all can go home. I'm probably just going to sleep." He closed his eyes, already half asleep. 

Happy stood and followed the rest of the team. She didn't want to leave, but Toby had told them all to go. She didn't want to overstep the boundaries he was putting up; she would follow his wishes.

"Wait, Happy," Toby called out to her quietly, having opened his eyes again, "Where are you going?"

Happy stopped and turned around, "I was going to leave. You-you seemed like you wanted to be alone."

Toby waved her over to the bed. She slowly walked toward him while the rest of the team filed out of the room after saying their goodbyes. 

Toby took a deep breath and looked nervous, "Can you-can you stay? I don't want you to leave. I know I don't really know you, but I feel safe," he paused and looked directly into her eyes, "normal when you're here. I don't feel like someone who just had their memories taken from them. You feel, I don't know, familiar. I don't have to worry when you're around." He looked down again and nervously played with the blanket covering him, "I don't have to hide when you're around. Just knowing that you're here helps me. I couldn't have handled that with the team if you hadn't been sitting there. Just one look from you calmed me down and reassured me that everything was going to be okay. I-I need you here, if you don't mind that is. I know this has to be hard for you, so I would understand if you needed to leave, but please, please stay."

Happy smiled sweetly at him and grabbed his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, "Of course I'll stay. I want to stay, but I thought you didn't want me here."

Toby looked up, a relieved look on his face, "No, Hap, I want you here. Believe me."

Happy took a seat in the chair next to bed, "You know, you're the only one who calls me Hap. I'm glad you still do."

Toby smiled, "It fits you. I like it."

"Me too," Happy whispered, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand. 

Dr. Shipley entered the room again before either one could say anything else. He saw their joined hands and gave a little smile to Happy before turning his attention towards Toby. 

"Dr. Curtis, how do you feel?"

Toby winced in pain as he tried to find a more comfortable position to lay in, "I could use some drugs right now to be honest. I've been very uncomfortable for the past hour."

Happy sent a glare Toby's way, "I knew you were hurting. You should've let me kick the team out. You didn't need to deal with that."

Toby looked at her and gave a little laugh, "It's not my fault that you gave into this face."

Happy rolled her eyes, "You're such an idiot, Doc."

"And besides, I didn't want to hurt their feelings. They were trying to help."

Happy gently pushed his shoulder, "Well you need to let me help, numbnuts."

"Were you always this mean to me?" Toby asked with a smirk on his face.

"Worse, actually," Happy quipped back, forgetting the doctor was even there. 

"Aren't I just a lucky man then?"

Happy huffed, but the smile on her face took away any annoyance out of it. Toby grinned at her like he won the lottery. 

"Well I'm glad to see you haven't lost your sense of humor, Toby," Dr. Shipley interrupted them, "But if you don't mind, I would like to check you over and then discuss the possibility of you going home tomorrow."

Toby nodded and Happy moved to the foot of the bed so the doctor could do his work. 

"It seems to me that everything is healing fine. Is there anything different that you've noticed?"

Toby shook his head, "Nope, I'm still sore and I get a headache that comes and goes, but that is it. No memories yet though."

"That's normal for what you went through and just keep doing what you can to remember. If your vitals and tests remain normal, you will be able to leave tomorrow afternoon, but you will have to have someone with you at all times for the first 48 hours."

"That's not a problem, Dr. Shipley, I can watch him," Happy spoke up.

He looked over at her, a pointed look on his face, "You may want someone else to help out too. It can be stressful and you don't need that right now. You've been through a lot."

Toby looked over at her questioningly, but Happy avoided his gaze, "I'll be fine. If it gets to be too much I know the team will help."

Dr. Shipley nodded, "Alright. Now Toby, you don't strike me as the type of person who does well holed up in the house, so I'm giving you permission to go to work, but strictly desk duty. After you come back to see me in a week, we can discuss doing more."

"Of course," Toby said, excitement lacing his voice, "I understand. Thank you."

"You're welcome, I wish there was more I could do to help you with your memory, but I'm still hoping with time it will all come back. Let me know if there's anything else you need," he said before leaving the room. 

Happy could feel Toby's eyes on her. She knew he had questions, so she looked up and smiled.

"What did the doctor mean you don't need stress right now, Hap?"

Happy tried not to react, "Nothing. I've just been through a lot these past couple of days and he's worried it's too much stress for me. I may have passed out earlier, but I'm fine. It was nothing. I just hadn't had enough to eat or drink, that's it."

"Happy," Toby said concerned, "why didn't you tell me?"

Happy sighed, "You didn't need to know. You barely know me, so why would I tell you about something like that? Create stress for you?"

"But I want to know you. We had a life together and I don't want you to hold back for my sake. I want to know everything about you, Hap. I just re-met you, but I already care for you. Promise me you'll tell me everything that's going on from now on?"

Happy swallowed hard and nodded, tears springing to her eyes, "I will. I'm sorry. I just don't want to force you into something you don't want. I don't know what to do here, so be patient."

"I'm in the same boat, Happy. I want to remember you more than anything, but I can't. I don't know how to act with you or what to say or anything."

"Why don't we just start over as friends? Take our time and get to know each other again." It ripped Happy to pieces to have to say that, especially with how deeply she loved him, but they needed to figure things out and this was a good place to start.

Toby nodded, his eyes showing a bit of sadness. He reached out his hand to grab hers, "That works, but I'm telling you now, you're already the best friend I've ever had. I can see why I fell in love with you."

Happy felt his squeeze as she stood there unsure of what to do. She cleared her throat, emotions causing it to tighten, "I need to go get a change of clothes. I've been wearing this for too long and I think I'm starting to smell." She forced a smile on her face. 

Toby smirked, "Nah, you're fine. Although I think I heard some nurses say they needed masks to come in here."

Happy laughed, "Jerk."

Toby's face grew serious, "But you'll come back?"

"Always," Happy whispered. Then she couldn't help herself, she leaned in and kissed his forehead gently. 

It was an hour before Happy was back. She pretended that her heart didn't speed up when she walked in the room and saw the grin grow on Toby's face. She pretended that she was unaffected by the way she saw Toby relax as she sat next to him. She pretended they were just friends. Although, Toby might get the wrong idea, but she wanted something that was comforting to wear, so she had thrown on one of his hoodies over a pair of leggings before she came back. She didn't even think twice about it until she was in the elevator on the way up to his room. But Toby didn't say anything. 

"What do you have there?" Toby said, trying to peer into the bag she was carrying. 

She smacked his hand away, "If you wait a minute, I'll show you."

Toby put on his best innocent face and folded his hands in his lap. Happy laughed. 

"Good job," she said lightly, patting his head like you would a dog. She opened the bag and pulled out the contents. 

Toby's face lit up, "Is that rocky road ice cream and peanut butter?" he exclaimed.

"Yes, it is and if you're not quiet, the nurses are going to come in here and take it away, so shh."

Toby ignored her though, "Oh my god, that's my favorite, how did you-." His face fell, "Oh right," he muttered, clearly frustrated, "Of course you would know."

Happy smiled gently as she took a seat next to the bed, "That's one of my favorite stories you've ever told me. You'd never talked about your past much, but you've told me that one." She looked shyly up at him, "I wouldn't mind if you told me it again. It's been awhile."

Toby smiled knowingly at her. She could tell he knew that she was trying to get him to remember. But he didn't say anything about it, instead he dug into his ice cream and peanut butter concoction and started the story. 

"It was the first time my mom let me pick out anything I wanted at the store. I knew she liked peanut butter, so it was a given that I was going to choose that. I looked all over the store for something else, but I couldn't find anything I wanted as much. As we were leaving, we walked by the ice cream and like any kid, I loved marshmallows and chocolate and when I saw that ice cream I knew I had to have it. I didn't even have to ask, my mom just knew so she grabbed it and we left. Every night that week I made my own version of a sundae for her, rocky road ice cream with peanut butter on top. I don't know if she really liked it, but she pretended she did. While we were eating, we would play games and read books, just spend time together being normal. It's the last really good time I had with her before her mental illness became too hard to handle."

Happy grabbed his hand, "I still can't believe that you were only five when that happened, when your mom really never came back to you."

Toby shrugged like he was unaffected, but Happy knew the truth. She knew how badly it hurt him when his mom had withdrawn from him, from his life. And then his dad was so caught up in his gambling that he didn't pay any attention to what was going on with his family. Happy didn't know how Toby had been able to keep it together. 

Toby cleared his throat, "Thank you for this, by the way. Really for everything you've done."

"It's what you would do. And I just want to help in any way I can."

"Believe me, you're doing more than you know," he said quietly. Then in an instant, his sullen attitude changed. It almost caused whiplash in Happy.

"Now tell me, what is really going on with Wally and Paige?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows. 

Happy couldn't help but laugh as she told him their story. The rest of the night went by in a flash, with her telling him fun, light stories, mixed in with a little flirting from Toby. For those few hours, everything felt normal and right. As the night went on, conversation waned off as they grew tired. Happy turned on the TV to a station she knew Toby liked to watch, but she didn't pay attention to the TV. Instead she found herself watching Toby and the way he would light up when something funny was said or roll his eyes when it was stupid. Before she knew it, she fell asleep in the chair, her body still turned towards Toby. 

A few hours after they had both woken up, Toby got the okay to leave. Happy had never been more glad. She was sick of the hospital and ready to be in the comfort of her own home. Plus, it was going to be easier to hide the fact she was pregnant from Toby at home, where there was another bathroom far away from the bedroom. This morning she woke up, the need to get sick strong. She had barely made it to the bathroom in time. Once she felt better and got cleaned up, she walked back out to a wide awake Toby. Happy didn't think he suspected anything, but she couldn't be too sure. She was just glad that her nausea was only in the morning and not throughout the day.

Toby seemed relieved to be leaving the hospital as well. He had wanted to leave the second they said he could, but paperwork slowed them down. Happy couldn't get him to shut up while they were waiting; he went on about how hopeful he was that being home would help him remember. However, once they got to her truck, his mood changed. He was no longer excited and talkative, but instead he was quiet and pensive as they drove home. Happy knew he was hoping something would spark a memory, but that wasn't happening. He was frustrated and there was nothing she could do to help him. It made her want to cry all over again, but she couldn't let Toby know. She thought it would make things worse, even though he had said he wanted to know what she was going through. 

Happy pulled into the parking lot, shooting a hopeful look over at Toby. 

"Home sweet home. Does anything look familiar."

Toby shook his head looking crestfallen, "No," he growled out. 

"Don't worry," Happy said, patting his arm, "It will. Just give it time."

Toby looked at her, an almost angry look flashing on his face, "Don't. Don't pretend everything's going to be fine. I don't want to hear it."

Happy was taken aback. This was the first time Toby had lashed out at her like that. She didn't respond, afraid that she would make things worse. 

"Alright," she whispered, leading him to the door, "Apartment 2C is where we're going."

As she was opening the door, Happy felt Toby's look on her. She looked over her shoulder questioningly.

"Um, is this your place? My place? Or, uh, our place?"

Happy smiled as brightly as she could, but it wasn't much. She was trying to tiptoe around Toby's ever changing moods. In just the short drive home, her energy was drained at trying to keep up with him, guessing at what will set him off. 

"Ours. We moved in here a little over a year ago. We had only been dating for a few months at the time, but it felt right. We had been best friends for years before we got together."

"Oh," Toby said quietly. He was back to being depressed. 

"Yep," Happy said awkwardly, "Let me show you around."

Toby shook his head, "No, I'll figure it out myself. I hate this feeling of not knowing anything and needing you to tell me everything. I need to do something for myself."

Happy stepped back, a sharp pain going through her chest. She wanted to help him, but he was pushing her away. That hurt almost more than when she found out he couldn't remember her, "Okay," she said, barely a whisper. She couldn't say anything else, for fear of breaking down in front of Toby.

She sat quietly on the couch, watching Toby explore his old, new, surroundings. She curled up in a ball, her way of trying to keep away the pain. If she made herself small enough, maybe nothing could get to her - the awkwardness, the frustration, the sadness would all go away. She pulled the blanket off the back of the couch, wrapping it around her, her hands rubbing over her stomach again, the only comfort at the moment. A tear fell out onto her cheek as she continued to watch Toby, him ignoring her, mumbling to himself. She knew he was trying to remember something, anything at all. In a sense, it was like watching him go down the rabbit hole, but she couldn't stop him, her fear getting in the way.

Eventually, Toby stopped looking around and sat on the opposite side of the couch; much too far away than normal. He looked tired and frustrated, but most of all, confused. He turned towards Happy, the look on his face shattering her.

"Why does none of this seem familiar?" he asked in an anguished voice, "I want to remember so badly, but there is nothing up here."

Happy moved closer to him, resting her hand on his leg, "I wish I could tell you, but I only know machines. Sometimes things break on machines and no matter how quickly I want it to be fixed, I know it takes time. I can't rush something when I'm fixing it or else I could create a bigger problem. And even after its fixed, sometimes it's still not better, so I have to keep working on it, trying different things to get it back to normal. All those things take time. But eventually it works. Your brain isn't a machine like I know, but in general it's the same thing. You're pushing yourself too hard. You just need to take a step back and let it come naturally. I have faith that you'll remember. It might not be today or tomorrow or even two months from now, but it will come back. And if it doesn't, just take this as your second chance to do whatever you want. There's nothing holding you back from living the life you want now. You have a clean slate."

Toby stayed silent for a long time. Happy thought that she made him mad with how still and quiet he was. She shifted, racking her brain for ways to make the awkwardness go away. Finally he moved, laying his hand over hers. 

"I don't know how you're staying so strong right now. If our positions were switched, I think I would have broke by now. Hell, I'm broken as it is and I don't remember you. I want to be the person you love, but I can't. How are you doing this? You amaze me, Hap."

Just hearing him say that broke Happy's heart even more. He felt like he wasn't do enough, when he was doing more than she could ask. But she didn't know how to tell him that, the words weren't coming to her. It frustrated her that she still couldn't communicate the way she wanted to, even after all the time she had spent with Toby. So instead she said nothing at all, deciding on just squeezing his leg. 

Toby stood a minute later, "I think I'm just going to head to bed now. I know it's early, but I'm wiped out."

Happy shook herself out of her thoughts, "Right, let me show you where you stuff is," she stood but halted remembering his words from earlier, "If you want me to that is."

Toby gave her a sad smile, "That's probably best. I'm too tired to go searching."

Happy brushed past him, a jolt of want rushing through her body. She stopped in front of him, reaching for his hand, staring at his lips; the lips she has kissed many times, the lips that drove her crazy many a night. And he stared back, not moving. There was so much Happy wanted to say, to do, but the fear of rejection held her back. The sound of a car horn outside broke the trance between them. Toby took a step back, just out of reach of her. It amazed Happy that something like that could still cause her pain, but it did. She turned around, blinking back tears, and led him to the bedroom, their bedroom. 

When she walked through the doorway, a crippling ache gripped her heart. There were reminders of the two of them all throughout the room - framed pictures of the two of them, notes from Toby that Happy had piled on the dresser, discarded clothes on the floor. Everything in the room was a perfect balance between the two of them. Happy glanced at Toby as he took in his surroundings. She saw him smirk at a few of their pictures and a dejected look come in his eyes at others. 

Happy quickly made her way around the room, tidying it up, while grabbing things she knew she would need. 

"I'm sorry, it's a mess. I didn't even think about cleaning before you came home."

Toby stopped her with a hand on her arm, "Happy, it's fine. I don't mind. It surprisingly makes me feel good. It shows me what we were like."

Happy looked down, "Ok, right, sure. Let me just get a few things and I'll be out of your hair."

Toby looked at her questioningly, "What do you mean? You're not leaving are you?"

"No, I'm just going to sleep in the spare bedroom."

"Oh, no Hap, you sleep in here. I can go to the other bedroom. I don't want to make things difficult for you."

Panic overtook Happy as she thought of what was in the other room. Toby had gone out the night he found out she was pregnant and starting buying baby things. He said he was too excited to wait, so he bought three teddy bears (which she laughed at, saying they only needed one), a blanket, and a few onesies. She couldn't have him seeing those until she could tell him she was pregnant. 

"No," she said sharply. At the shocked look on his face, she softened her voice, "No, it's fine. This might help you remember. Plus the bed in there is only a twin. It's too small for you. I'll be fine."

Toby shrugged, "If you're sure?"

"I am, trust me. Um, do you need help with anything else? The bathroom's through that door and everything you might need should be in there."

"No, I'm fine, thanks," distant Toby was back. 

Happy internally sighed. She wished she could stop messing up, not that she knew she was doing so. 

Toby walked further into the room, "Right, so, uh, night."

Happy cringed at how impersonal that sounded, "Yeah, goodnight," she turned to leave, but stopped, "Um, Toby?"

He turned her way, "Hmm?"

"Let me know if you need anything. I'm here for you, in any way," Happy smiled softly at him. 

Toby looked startled, "Uh yeah, I will."

But something on his face made Happy not quite believe him. She walked slowly to the other bedroom, a dark haze building around her. Shutting the door, she made her way to the bed, grabbing one of the bears Toby bought. Hugging it tightly to her chest, she finally let herself cry. 

"I don't know what to do, little one," she cried, looking down at her stomach, "We're on our own now, I'm afraid. Your dad doesn't want my help and it's killing me. He's never been like this before. I've been through a lot, but I've never been this scared in my life. You need me, but I need him. I don't want to do this on my own."

She wiped her tears and curled up into a ball, bringing the bear even closer. She let the exhaustion take over and fell asleep, her mind plagued with worries about what was to come. That night her dreams were surprisingly pleasant, as she dreamt of the future, one with Toby in their lives. And she woke, no longer fearing for the future, but hopeful that everything would be just like her dreams - determined it would.


	4. Trying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toby and Happy deal with the awkwardness between them. Toby goes back to work, Happy pretends everything is alright, and the team tries to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got away from me, but I didn't want to split it up, so instead I decided to give you an extra long chapter! I hope you enjoy it and I'm always open to feedback and ideas! Thank you for reading it! :-)

"Happy?" Toby's voice called out across the apartment. 

"In the kitchen," she yelled back. 

Toby made his way to the kitchen and found Happy standing over the stove. 

"Uh, hi," Toby said walking into the kitchen and running a hand through his hair. 

"Morning," Happy replied, looking over her shoulder with a large smile on her face. 

Toby stood there and shifted on his feet, not sure what to do. "Do you need any help?"

Happy shook her head and turned off the stove, "Nope, I'm almost all done. Why don't you take a seat over there? I'll be just a second," she said, pointing to the table with a spatula. 

Toby nodded, knowing she couldn't see him, and made his way to the table, stopping to grab a cup of coffee. A minute later, Happy brought over the food; scrambled eggs, pancakes, and bacon. 

"Smells good," Toby said.

Happy flashed him another smile, "I hope it tastes okay. I'm no cook. This is about all I've picked up from you. It's not much, but it's something."

Toby stared at Happy, a confused look on his face, "I cook?"

Happy nodded, swallowing down her food with sip from her coffee mug, "Yeah and you're actually pretty good at it, unlike me. Normally you don't even let me in the kitchen. I tend to start fires."

Toby chuckled, "Remind me to keep you out of the kitchen from now on." He took a large bite and swallowed, "When did I start cooking? Because last I can remember, I was terrible in the kitchen. My speciality was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and even those I messed up sometimes."

Happy looked down at her plate, "Uh, there's a story there."

Toby could tell she was uncomfortable, "You don't have to tell me."

Happy looked up and gave him a small smile, "No it's ok. I-I just want to protect you." She shrugged her shoulders, "It's habit I guess."

Toby leaned back in his chair, "Oh, so it's not a very happy story then."

Happy shook her head and bit her lip, "Just know that this person is not the man you are now. You've changed a lot over the years, so I don't want you to think this is who you were before your injury, because it's not." Happy's lips quirked up and tried to joke, "You've turned into quite the sappy do-gooder and I got to benefit from it. Never would I have thought I would fall for someone like that."

Toby tried to smile, but he was nervous to hear what he was like and when he spoke, it came out sharper than he intended, "Can you just tell me already?"

Happy took a deep breath, "You know that Amy person I mentioned?"

Toby nodded, curious as to who she was. It was clear she wasn't a person still in his life, so he was anxious to learn about her. 

"Well, you were engaged to her."

Toby's eyes widened, "Really? Everyone makes it seem like I was all about you all the time ever since we met."

Happy gave him a small smile, "You basically were. You were a pain in my ass for awhile at first, with your stares from across the garage and wanting to share your feelings, but when I first met you, you were engaged to Amy. Neither of you were happy, but you were together."

Happy looked down at her plate and her smile grew larger, "You once told me that meeting me made you see clearly for the first time, but you were in a place that you thought you should be, with a woman you thought you should be with, and it took you awhile to get your head on straight. But damn, when you finally did, you came full force at me. You were a little scary."

Toby laughed, but knew what Happy was doing. She was trying to put off having to tell him what he really wanted to know. "Obviously my scare tactics worked on you."

Happy giggled, "Did they ever. Falling for you was the scariest, but most exciting time in my life."

"I'm starting to pick that up. Makes me worry that I pushed you too hard."

Happy's head shot up and she looked him in the eyes, a serious look in her face, "No, don't think that. I needed to be pushed. I'm so glad that you did that. Being with you is the best thing that has ever happened to me."

Toby stared at her, uncomfortable, not sure what to say or do. Here was this woman in front of him that he obviously had a great life with, but he couldn't remember it. And then she would say something like that and he didn't know how to respond. He didn't know how he felt toward her, other than being grateful she was here, helping him now. 

Toby cleared his throat, "So cooking and Amy?"

Happy blinked, a mixture of surprise and hurt on her face, but she pushed it aside and continued with her story. "Right, uh, so when I met you, you weren't in the best place. You were gambling nonstop, using Amy's money to fund your habit, and you would disappear for days at a time. I guess Amy had had enough of it, so she stopped staying with you. When she was gone, you had to fend for yourself, so you started learning how to cook. And then you found out Amy was sleeping with Quincy, a fellow psychiatrist you knew, and you broke it off with her. After that you were on your own again and you knew you wanted to make changes, so you started with something small - cooking, knowing you couldn't stop gambling yet. Other changes stemmed off of that and eventually we got together. After that, you stopped gambling and haven't looked back."

Happy smiled softly at him, "Like I said, I got to benefit from you learning how to cook. You're pretty good now and can make anything you want. I never had too many home cooked meals before I started dating you. My childhood never really allowed for it. I was just lucky to get three meals a day sometimes. I think that's why you always made a point to cook more often than not," she paused, "To give me something I never had. You do that a lot. Try to right wrongs I mean."

Toby returned her smile, "I'll have to see if muscle memory kicks in and try to cook sometime, get you those home cooked meals again," he smirked, "I would ask you for help, but I don't want to burn down the building."

Happy threw a crumpled up napkin at him, "Jerk. You don't even remember, yet you still hold that over me."

Toby laughed as he got up, "It's part of my charm, I guess." He poured himself more coffee, "Want any more?"

Happy shook her head, "No, just one cup is fine."

Toby looked at her suspiciously, "Really? You seem like the type of person who needs three cups just to wake up in the morning."

Happy smiled but looked down at her mug, "Normally, yes, but I'm trying to cut back. It, uh, it makes me jittery sometime and with the types of things I work with, I can't slip up."

"Okay," Toby said slowly, not believing her, "If you say so."

"Yep," she said, standing up and giving him a tight lipped smile. Before he could question her, she changed the subject, "Did you sleep well last night?"

Toby took her dishes from her and starting washing them, while Happy put away left overs. It was an easy and comfortable routine, almost familiar. It was surprising to Toby that something so small, so normal, felt so right. He got lost in thought trying to see if any memory came forward, but nothing did - it was just a feeling he had. 

"I'm guessing that's a no then?" Happy tried to talk to him again.

"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking. This seems familiar to me."

Happy stopped what she was doing and stared at him, hope in her eyes. "Do you remember anything?" she whispered.

Toby shook his head and pretended he wasn't affected by the crestfallen look that came over Happy's face. "No, it just feels familiar, like we've done this before, which I'm assuming we have. I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. What did you say earlier?"

Happy just nodded before turning her back to him to hide the emotions flitting across her face, "I," she cleared her throat, "I asked if you slept well last night?"

Toby could hear a quiver in her voice, but decided to ignore it. He felt sullen all of a sudden, sad and angry about the familiarity of the situation, yet nothing coming back to him, "Surprisingly, yes. The bed was very comfortable, although anything is better than the hospital bed."

Happy chuckled and turned back towards him. When he looked at her, she was back to looking unaffected, no trace of the pain he was sure she felt evident. 

"How do you feel?"

Toby sighed and tried to put the way he was feeling out of his mind, "Better, I guess. The stitches are pulling at some places, but there's nothing I can do about that. The soreness is starting to go away and I've got a headache, but it's not bad. It's pretty dull.

"That's good. Do you think you're up to going into work or do you want to take it easy for another day?" she asked, a serious tone in her voice.

Toby's face brightened at that, "God, yes, I want to go in. I'm curious to see what you all were talking about yesterday."

"Ok, good," Happy said, giving him a small smile, "Maybe it'll help too?"

Toby's face fell. Gruffly he said, "Doubt it. If being here, the place I live, hasn't brought anything back yet, I doubt the garage will. It's only been a few days and I'm already sick of it. I just want my memories back."

Happy walked over to him and grabbed his hand, giving it a comforting squeeze, "Some weeks we're at the garage more than here, so you never know. And I told you already, give it time. Being mad won't do anything. Just relax."

Toby pulled his hand away and started walking out of the kitchen angrily, "Easy for you to say. You're not the one having to deal with this."

Happy didn't call after him when he left, knowing he needed space. She was quickly becoming used to Toby's mood swings. This was a learning period for the two of them and Happy just learned that she shouldn't say anything to Toby about getting his memories back. He needed to process this on his own. She patted her stomach and looked down. 

"At least we almost made it through the entire morning without him getting angry at me. That's good. We'll get through this baby," she whispered before heading to get ready for work. 

An hour later, after the frustrated mumblings from Toby and his refusal for help had stopped, Toby and Happy were on their way to the garage. An awkward silence surrounded them in the car. Happy was afraid to say anything to Toby, for fear that he would take it the wrong way and get mad. While Toby was too busy trying to process everything, mood swings included, that he ignored the quick, worried glances Happy was sending his way. 

Happy nervously fiddled with the radio, an attempt at trying to distract herself from the uncomfortable feeling in the truck. They were almost to the garage when Toby finally broke the grueling 20 minutes of silence. 

"What is with the music from today?" he muttered, trying to start a conversation. 

"I wish I could tell you," Happy said shrugging, "but there's no way to explain it."

"Did I listen to this stuff?" Toby exclaimed.

Happy chuckled, "No, not too often. Although you have been known to get your groove on to Taylor Swift from time to time."

"Who's he?"

Happy couldn't stop the laugh that came from her stomach. It only grew stronger when she saw Toby's bewildered face staring at her. After a few moments she got herself under control enough to tell him what was so funny.

"Taylor Swift is a girl, first of all. She used to sing country, but now is a pop singer. She just won't go away and you have an odd obsession with her."

Toby looked like he didn't believe her, "I mean, I know I've always had an eclectic taste in music, but country?"

Happy shook her head, "Used to be country, but not anymore. And if you don't believe me, just look at your iTunes playlist on your computer when we get to work. You thought you were sneaky naming the playlist 'Psych Stuff', but I know you better than that."

"iTunes playlist? What the hell is that?"

"Oh my," an understanding of just how much Toby didn't remember dawning on Happy, "There's a lot you need to relearn. It's a good thing you weren't our hacker. Computers have changed a lot over the past 17 years."

"Yeah," Toby said quietly, looking back out the window, "I guess I'm going to have to have you all teach me."

"You'll catch on quickly, muscle memory, right?"

Toby turned to give her a sad smile, "Hopefully. Uh, listen. I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. You're going through a lot right now too. This is probably harder for you than for me in some ways. I just get so frustrated and then there you are being so nice to me. I take everything I'm feeling out on you and you don't deserve that." Toby reached out to grab Happy's hand laying on the seat next to her, "I really am sorry."

Happy flashed him a quick understanding smile, "I get it, so don't worry about it. I'm sorry if I push you too hard or say something wrong. I'm still learning what to do."

Toby squeezed her hand and let it go, "We both are, so your sorry isn't necessary."

They were silent for a few moments longer until they pulled into the parking lot of the garage. Happy breathed a sigh of relief. At least here there were other people who could help Toby and maybe she could focus on something else for a while, give her mind a break from all the worry about Toby. 

"We're here," she said, parking the car. 

Toby got out and took in his surroundings, "This is it?"

Happy nodded, walking around the car, "Yep, this is the garage."

"Hmm, it's different than I expected."

Happy gave a quiet laugh, "What did you think it would be? We do call it the garage."

Toby shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. I guess more upscale and polished based on the type of cases we take. I mean we do work for the government. I though 'garage' was just a nickname for it, not that it would actually be a converted garage."

"Yeah, we don't do upscale or polished. This is where Scorpion was started and this is where it'll stay. It has everything we need. It's perfect for us. We all have our own spaces to do what we want." Quietly, Happy added, "It was the first place that felt like home for me. Almost everyone and everything I care about are in that garage day in and day out. I think you'll see when you go in there just how special this place is."

Toby nodded, "I bet you're right. I do already like it, it was just different than expected, that's all."

Toby follow Happy into the garage where she showed him his desk and workspace. He looked around the room and saw the different sections, each one telling their own story about the person who worked there. It was obvious Sylvester was a fun and loving nerd based off the Super Fun Guy memorabilia, pictures of Megan, and his whiteboard filled with equations. Walter was practical, only having what was needed on and near his desk. Paige was definitely the caring one of the group, with framed pictures lining her desk of her son and the team. She was also the organizer of the group, with color coordinated files and cabinets nearby. If he didn't already know it, it was clear Happy was the mechanic and inventor of the group. Her space was covered in tools, metal, wood, and anything she could possibly need. It was an organized mess. What was surprising about her space though were the pictures she had pinned to a wall nearby. Most of them were of herself and Toby, but there were a few of the team and her father. Toby could tell she did it in a way that would seem like it was nothing, hence why they weren't framed or organized neatly, but he would bet that it was her favorite part of her space. They were placed in a spot that could be seen from anywhere she was working. 

He glanced around his space, not surprised to see lined bookshelves nearby. His desk was cluttered with paperwork, again not surprising since he had always hated work like that. He had a few pictures taped to the screen of his computer, all of Happy and himself. He looked closely at them, noticing they were different from the ones in their bedroom. The ones at home were silly and fun, whereas these seemed like important moments. In none of these pictures they were looking at the camera, instead it was as if someone was watching them while they were oblivious to anyone else but each other. Something about seeing those pictures made Toby calm down and forget everything that was troubling him. It brought a smile to his face as he realized for the first time things could work out fine. 

"Hey," a nervous voice said behind him.

Toby looked over his shoulder and saw Sylvester standing there. "Hi," Toby said back. 

Sly moved closer, "I hope you don't mind, but I laid out some of your favorite things on your desk. They say seeing familiar things can help to bring back memories."

Toby smiled at him and looked back at his desk. Sure enough there were a few things laying there that seemed out of place; a fedora, an old book about the mind, and a Harvard mug filled with coffee, which when Toby tasted, had a hint of hazelnut in it.

"Thanks, buddy," Toby said, clapping Sly on the back. 

Sylvester smiled, looking proud of himself, "You're welcome. I'm glad you're back and you're safe, Toby."

"Me too," Toby replied, "Uh, hey, do you think you could show me how this computer works? Nothing about this looks familiar, and I don't want to bother Happy. She's already done a lot for me."

"Yeah, of course. I'd be happy to help."

Within 15 minutes, Sly had gone through the basics with Toby, explaining everything in great detail about the differences he would see. Happy could tell from across the garage, as she watched them nervously, that it was a lot of information for Toby to process. He was being a good sport about it, nodding and smiling when Sylvester looked his way. But when he thought no one was looking, Toby would rub his head and furrow his brow in confusion. It made Happy want to laugh and cry all at the same time. 

"How are you doing?" a soft voice asked, pulling Happy's eyes away from Toby. 

She turned around and saw Paige standing there. She wanted to put up a front and tell her everything was fine, but one thing she learned from Toby was that sometimes it's okay to tell the truth and ask for help. Happy put down the hammer she was holding to keep up appearances and let her shoulders slump. 

"Honestly, not too good. This is hard, really, really hard," she admitted. 

"I can't imagine what you're going through right now," Paige said sympathetically, "Is there anything I can do?"

Happy twisted the ring on her finger and shook her head, "No, not really. It's just something I'm going to have to deal with. Toby doesn't remember me and there's nothing I can do about that. He's going through a lot right now and it's making things hard at home, it's almost like living with a stranger. I can't confront him or tell him how I feel because he has these mood swings that change so quickly. He'll get angry and yell at himself when he can't find what he wants, be it clothes or utensils or anything. But he won't ask for my help. It's like he's too proud or something. Then the next minute he's sad, but that'll quickly turn around and it'll be like he has no cares. Half the time I'm trying to guess what mood he's in to know what to say. It makes things awkward between us, and things have never been like that before. So I don't know what to do." Happy looked down, "I want him to remember so badly, Paige, and I'm scared he won't."

Paige walked over and hugged Happy, "I know it's scary, but everything will work out."

Happy pulled away and looked back over at Toby sitting alone at his desk looking over paperwork, "I hope so. This is like my biggest fear come true, finally having everything I ever wanted, only for it to be taken away. This is why I always used to push people away. It was easier that way."

"You don't know it's gone for good, Happy. I know you feel like you have to stay strong for Toby, but it's okay to tell him all of this. He can help you. He might not realize how much you're hurting right now."

Happy looked back at Paige, a sad look on her face, "No, I can't. If I tell him, he'll blame himself. I can't keep pretending that everything's fine though. He's too good of a mind reader to trick. But I don't want him to feel like any of this is his fault. The pain I'm feeling is nothing he can control. If I tell him, I'm worried he'll try to be someone he thinks I want. And I can't push him to be the person he was before. He needs to figure out what he wants for himself. It's just all so confusing."

"I see," Paige said in understanding.

Happy looked at her suspiciously, "You see what?"

"You're afraid to talk to Toby about how you're feeling because you're afraid he'll turn away from you, that you'll push him away. So you're holding back your pain, hoping to keep him close."

Happy's eyes widened, but she didn't say anything. 

Paige laid a hand on her arm, "Happy, Toby fell for you the way you are. That Toby is still in there, so don't be afraid and pretend to be someone you're not. You two are engaged, for god's sake, so talk to him. He may not remember, but trust me, he won't ever push you away. You'll just continue hurting if you keep this hidden. But by talking, you two could get through this together."

"Paige-" Happy began, but cut herself off when she saw Toby walking over, "Listen, I'll think about what you said, but for now, just keep this between us. I don't want Toby to feel like he has to do anything, just for me. He needs to focus on himself, so please, please don't say anything to him."

Paige smiled and nodded, "Alright, but only because you said please, which you never do."

She turned around to leave, patting Toby's arm on the way past him, "Glad to have you back, Toby."

Toby smiled his thanks and then looked at Happy.

Happy smiled at him, "Hey, what's up?"

Toby ran his hand through his hair, "Uh, I just got a call from a Mary Sattler about confirming an appointment for tomorrow afternoon?"

Happy looked down, "Shit, I forgot about that. Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it." She gave him a tight lipped smile.

"What's going on, Hap?" Toby asked, concern covering his face. 

Happy took a deep breath and looked at him, unable to hide the sadness in her eyes, "Mary is an event coordinator at a venue we were looking at for our wedding next fall. She was going to show us around and discuss different options they have. But obviously, we shouldn't go see her, because we don't know what's going to happen."

"I'm so sorry," Toby whispered. 

Happy walked over to him and grabbed his hand, "This isn't your fault. Things happen and we have to deal with them, as much as we might hate it." Happy shrugged, trying to act indifferent, but Toby could see the truth, "You don't remember me, so we can't get married. Nothing we can do about it. It wouldn't be fair to you to force you into something on the off chance you might remember. So I'll cancel our appointment. It'll be fine."

Her last words were whispered, almost as if she didn't believe them herself. Toby couldn't help himself when he wrapped her up in a hug. His heart started beating faster when she buried her head in his chest and held him tight. He closed his eyes and let the feeling of closeness wash over him. A brief image flashed in his brain; the two of them on a roof, Happy fighting back tears and Toby holding her close like he was now. He inhaled sharply as it stuck in his brain. Happy noticed his sudden stiffness and looked up, a question in her eyes. 

"I think I remember us hugging like this before."

Happy took a step back, a cautious look in her eyes, "We do this a lot. Whenever one of us is having a tough time or we've been separated for too long or just because."

Toby closed his eyes, trying to remember more, "We were on a roof."

Happy bit her lip, "We like to go up to the roof here and get away. We've had a lot of moments up there. Do you remember anything else?"

Toby sighed in defeat, "No. All that was was a flash, a picture in my mind, that's it. I don't remember anything else about what we were doing there."

Happy gave him a small smile, "It's a start at least. It shows us your memories are still in there somewhere."

"I guess you're right."

"Of course I am, now leave me alone. I have work to do," she smirked, trying to put on a brave face. 

Even though Toby had only known her a few days, he still knew her better than that, knowing she was trying to hide her feelings from him. He sighed, wishing there was something he could do to help her. He made his way back to his desk, planning on looking over case files, hoping to get a better idea of what he and team Scorpion did. He already read a few files and was shocked at some of the risks the team took. He was surprised they were all still alive, especially Happy. It made his heart race when he read some of the measures she took to ensure their job went well. Just from the case write ups it was easy to see how close team Scorpion was. They were each other's family and that made Toby smile. It wasn't a traditional family, but it was a better one than he grew up with. He was lucky to have found them, even if he didn't really know it now. 

He stopped when he saw Walter and Sly hovering near his desk, trying to act busy. Toby could tell they had something they wanted to talk about. 

"Hey, what's going on?" Toby asked with a smile.

"We have something we'd like to discuss with you," Walter stated.

Toby chuckled, "I can see that. What is it?"

"Ever since we heard about your memory loss, we've been working on something for you," Sly spoke up.

"Okay," Toby said slowly. 

"Yes, well research shows memory can be improved or restored by using static noise. So we've created a program that will synchronize sounds with the rise and fall of your brain activity that can enhance your brain rhythms. This would allow your brain to work more efficiently and could restore your memories," Walter told Toby. 

"What would happen is, while you're working, this program would run on your computer, like your music normally does. I've reprogrammed a watch to read your vitals, including brain activity. This noise, which is a mixture of static noise, beeps, and clicks, will play according to your brain function," Sylvester said excitedly. 

Toby sat down, processing this information. 

"Yes, and while you sleep, you can run the program through headphones, allowing it to continue to work on you," Walter added. "If you want, we can get this set up right now."

Toby took a deep breath and glanced over to Happy's station, surprised to see she wasn't there. It made him nervous to not see her, to not see the reassuring smile she always had for him. He looked back at Walter and Sly, their excited, expectant faces ready for an answer. Toby felt himself start to panic as his hands grew sweaty and his breaths shortened. He knew they were just trying to help, but he couldn't help but feel that they were forcing him into this. He looked around for Happy once more, hoping to catch her eye and calm himself down, but she had disappeared. 

"Uh, listen guys," Toby said shakily, "I appreciate what you're trying to do, but this is all overwhelming right now. There's a lot I'm still trying to process, so maybe right now isn't the best time."

"But now is exactly the right time," Walter said, "The memory loss is still new, so your brain hasn't yet adapted, which means this will give us the best chance at regaining your memories. Why put this off, when you can do it now?"

"I just can't right now. I'm sorry. Just give me a little time to think it over."

"But-" Walter started to argue.

"That's fine. We understand," Sly said, interrupting him. 

Toby shot Sylvester a grateful look before they walked away. He heard a noise on the steps and turned to see who it was. Happy was hurrying down the steps, a desolate look on her face. She quickly ran to the kitchen, not even bothering to look his way. He wanted to go see what was going on, but something held him back. If she wanted to talk to him, she would come to him. Until then, he would leave her alone and let her do things the way she wanted. He didn't want to cause her any more pain, so he would do whatever he could to make it easier for her. He turned back to his reading, a headache starting to grow. 

In the kitchen, Happy grabbed a water and chugged it down, running a hand over her stomach. A panic came over her when she ended the phone call with Mary. Up until then, nothing had been real, but now it was. It was real that they might have to call off the wedding. It was real that she might have to give him back the ring. It was real that she might be a single mother. As those thought ran through her brain, a sick feeling came over her and her heart starting beating fast. It was easy to pretend everything would be fine when you were doing nothing, but when things have to get cancelled, you could no longer pretend. She closed her eyes and fought back the tears threatening to spill over. She had told herself that morning that there would be no more tears. She was going to get through this, but now everything was building up. It was all becoming too much. 

"What's wrong, Happy?" Paige asked following her into the kitchen. 

Happy's eyes flew open when she heard Paige's voice, "I had to cancel something for our wedding," she said quietly. 

"Oh Happy," Paige said, coming over to give her a hug, "That must have been so hard."

At hearing Paige's kind, concerned voice, Happy could no longer hold back her tears. "It's all too much," she sobbed. 

After a few minutes of Paige holding her, rubbing her back, Happy's tears finally stopped. She wiped her cheeks and blushed in embarrassment. 

"I'm sorry, Paige. I told myself no more crying. Crying doesn't help anything."

"It's a way to release emotion. Don't hold back what you're feeling."

Happy turned away from Paige, "It's stupid and doesn't change anything. I don't cry, but lately I've been crying at everything." Under her breath she added to herself, "And these damn hormones are making me so emotional. I even cried at a puppy commercial this morning."

Paige gasped, "What did you just say?" she asked, forcing Happy to turn around, "Did you say hormones are making you emotional? Happy, are you - are you pregnant?"

Happy's face blanched when she realized Paige heard her. She grit her teeth and formed a fist, "Yes and you cannot tell anyone, you hear me, Dineen? Pregnant or not, I can still kick your ass."

Paige's face lit up as she squealed, pulling Happy into another embrace, "Happy, I'm so excited for you! How far along are you? Toby must be so excit- oh, wait."

Happy nodded, "Yeah, Toby doesn't remember anymore. I'm six weeks along and we found out last week. He was excited, but now he doesn't know. No one knows. We were going to wait until 15 weeks and I was safely in the second trimester before telling anyone."

"So you've been dealing with this by yourself? Happy, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Because it's not your problem, it's mine and I'm dealing with it, okay? And Toby can't know about this, not yet at least. It's easy to hide the morning sickness from him since I'm in the other room. And thankfully it's only in the morning that I'm sick. Other than that, nothing has changed."

"But you have to tell him, Happy. He'll figure it out sooner or later."

Happy looked down at her hands, "I know, but he's been through a lot lately. I don't want to overwhelm him and this is huge, to find out a person you barely know is pregnant with your child. I can't do that to him. I want him to get to know the team, know me, before I drop this bomb on him. So don't tell him. I'll do it in my own time."

Paige sighed, obviously not happy with keeping this from Toby, "Fine, for now I'll keep my mouth shut, but you have to promise to let me help. I've been through this before and I know how difficult it can be. Let me help you."

Happy looked up and gave her a small smile, "Deal. And while I'm emotionally compromised, I may as well tell you that I'm really glad to have you. You're a really good friend."

Paige waved her hand and blinked back tears, "Stop, don't make me cry too. I have no excuse!"

Happy laughed, surprised at how much lighter she felt now that someone else knew what was going on. 

"Okay, break time is over. We both need to get back to work."

Happy walked out of the kitchen and bumped into stumbling Toby. He was holding his hand over his face, obviously in pain. A groan escaped him as Happy steadied him with a hand on his arm. 

"What's wrong, Toby?" Happy asked, scared to see him like this. 

"Do you think we can go home, Hap? I've got a pounding headache. It hurts to even keep my eyes open for too long."

"Of course, let's go. Just let me get my stuff. I shouldn't have let you come in today."

"I wanted to, Hap. Don't blame yourself. I just need to get home."

Happy quickly ran around the garage, getting everything in order and collecting her bag. She explained to the team what was going on and then helped Toby to the car. When they got home, Toby went straight to bed. It scared Happy to see Toby like that. He rarely showed his pain, hating the sympathetic looks he would get. To completely have to rely on Happy, Toby must have been in a lot of pain. She hated that he was going through this, wishing she could make it all go away. 

Three hours after coming home, Toby woke, surprised that the pain in his head was gone. He couldn't remember a time when he felt pain like that. It was so bad, he couldn't even see at one point. He walked out to the living room and smiled when he saw Happy. She was curled up on the couch, hair in a messy bun, and eating popcorn while watching TV. 

"Hey," he said quietly.

Happy smiled when she saw him, "Hi, how do you feel?"

"Surprisingly, okay. I think my brain was overloaded with new information today, which is why the headache came on. I'm sorry if I worried you."

Happy shook her head, "It's fine. I'm just glad you're feeling better." She patted the couch, "Why don't you sit down and relax some more. We could put on one of those cooking shows you like."

She moved the popcorn bowl to the center cushion, offering some to him. When Toby saw what she was wearing, his eyes widened.

"Is that - is that my shirt?" Toby asked, surprise in his voice.

Happy looked down and blushed. She forgot she had changed into his Harvard t-shirt and sleep shorts, "Oh, I'm sorry. It's habit." She stood up, "I'll go change."

As she walked past Toby, he reached out and grabbed her hand, "No, no. You don't have to do that. It just took me by surprise, but it makes sense. We are engaged and living together."

Happy looked nervous as she stared at him, "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

Toby gave her a reassuring smile, "I'm not, trust me. Seeing you like that, wearing my clothes, makes this place seem more like home, like I'm not a stranger. It reminds me of what I once had and makes me want to get it back."

Slowly Happy sat back down, "Okay, if you're sure?"

Toby's smile grew as he nodded, "I'm sure. Now let's get this party started. What are these cooking shows you say I like?"

Happy laughed and subtly rubbed her belly, changing the channel for Toby. They spent the rest of the night together, talking and laughing just like they used to. Everything seemed normal. Neither could wipe the smile from their faces as the night wore on. And neither could deny the jolt of excitement they felt when their hands accidentally brushed in the popcorn bowl. For that night, everything was perfect, almost like it was before Toby forgot.


	5. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toby has the shock of his life as he finds out Happy has been keeping a secret from him. They were just starting to reconnect, but now that could be ruined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I struggled with this chapter, so I really hope you like it! I've said it before, but I'm so sorry for the long wait! This chapter will hopefully make up for that with its length. Thanks again for reading! :-)

Toby slowly blinked awake as the sun came shining through the window, hitting him directly on the face. And like every other morning, he looked around the room, taking in the surroundings, staring at the pictures he now had memorized. They were pictures of happier times. But just like every other day, nothing was different. There was no spark of memory. There was no recognition of his surroundings other than being the place he felt most familiar with now - most comfortable. 

With the exception of the pictures and a few pieces of jewelry, all traces of Happy were gone from the room. She had moved everything of hers to the guest bedroom. She had done it quietly, without Toby's knowledge. One morning her stuff had been there, but by the evening it was gone. Gone were her clothes. Gone was her makeup. Gone was her scent that Toby found comforting, that helped him fall asleep the first few nights he was there. All of it left Toby feeling unsettled, but he didn't know why. 

It had been five weeks since Toby's memory loss. Ever since that first day back on the job, Happy had refused to let Toby work more than a half day at work - at least until she knew the headaches were better. Toby didn't like it, but he didn't argue with her. She terrified him when she was mad and he knew she actually would follow through with her threats. 

Over the course of the weeks, the team had tried to ease him back into the cases they were dealing with. Everyone was taking it easy with him, treating him like he couldn't handle too much too quickly. For a full two weeks, Walter wouldn't even let Toby help with the cases at all. Instead Toby had to sit at his desk familiarizing himself with past cases, trying to get a feel for what he did on Team Scorpion. But eventually, they started giving him small things to do - profiling a suspect, analyze video footage, predict next moves, anything that let him use his knowledge of the human psyche. All stuff he could do from the garage. He still had yet to go out with the team for a case. He was always left behind for technical support, often with someone else, who he knew was there to babysit. It was during those times that Toby was able to get a feel for whoever stayed behind. He really started to understand each and every person on the team - what made them tick, what their skills were, how they were in general.

But now, after five long weeks and numerous talks with Dr. Shipley, Happy was finally letting Toby go back full time, including going out on cases. It had taken a few promises from Toby, along with constant begging for two weeks for Happy to relent. He knew she was just watching out for him, but he hated being treated like a child. He didn't even have to deal with that when he was a child. 

Although Toby would never admit it, Happy was right in keeping him from work. It gave him time to heal. He rarely had a headache anymore and the mood swings, a common side effect of head trauma, were lessening. That meant his brain was healing. But if Toby thought about it for too long, he would start sliding into a depressed state. Aside from the random memory of Happy and himself hugging on the roof of the garage, there had been no other flashes - even though he had been using Walter and Sylvester's program for three weeks now. When that wasn't running, he tried to surround himself with memories and ask about his past as much as he could, but he would always walk away from those conversations feeling more down about it. And he couldn't bear to see Happy disappointed anymore, which she always did after he told her nothing was coming back. 

Toby let a smile grow on his face when his eyes caught one of the pictures in the bedroom. It was a picture of the two off them, Happy had a playful scowl on her face, while Toby was grinning down at her. Toby had slowly been finding out that picture perfectly summed up what they were. He was relearning who she was, but it was difficult - a week after Toby came home, Happy started to close herself off. She didn't offer the stories like she used to or make comments about what they were like. At first, it had bothered Toby, but he quickly learned that was how Happy dealt with things, so he started asking questions, getting her to open up again. Through that, Toby was starting to learn who Happy was on a deeper level. 

They fell into a routine of light, cheerful banter most of the time, but there were nights, as they were sitting on the couch, that those light conversations turned deeper, as Happy told him, after much prodding, stories about her past or difficult times they had been through together and before they realized, their hands would be entangled, the connection creating a sense of excitement and comfort. But then Happy would pull her hand away, embarrassed that it had happened. Toby knew she didn't want to force him into anything, so she tried to hide her feelings and Toby appreciated that since he was still figuring out what she meant to him. The culmination of those times let Toby see the real Happy - the Happy who wouldn't take crap from a person, the Happy who would do anything for those she cared about, the gentle Happy, the loving Happy, the mad Happy, all sides of her. It was becoming obvious why Toby had fallen for her all those years ago. 

And it was still only Happy who made him feel calm and complete. When she was gone on a case, Toby couldn't stop the uneasy feeling from coming over him. But the second she walked into the garage and flashed a smile his way, Toby instantly felt better. 

Toby's smile grew into a grin as he got up. It was his first full day back with Scorpion and he couldn't wait to see them in action. The past weeks had built up his excitement. He was ready to get out of the garage. He had been bored staying behind. 

He got dressed and walked out, surprised that he wasn't met with the smell of coffee and the soft mumblings of Happy in the kitchen. Happy always seemed to wake before him, getting things ready for the day to start off well. But today, that wasn't the case. He looked at the clock in the living room, surprised to see how late it was. It was concerning that Happy wasn't awake yet. Worry filled Toby as he made his way to her room to check on her - this was very unlike Happy. 

"Oh god, what are you doing to me?" Toby heard Happy groan miserably, followed by gagging and even more moaning. 

Toby picked up his pace, the concern growing stronger. Happy was obviously sick. He saw the bathroom door was opened slightly.

"Happy?" he called out gently, pushing the door open, "Hey what's going on?"

Happy was sitting on the floor of the bathroom, leaning against the side of the tub, one hand over her stomach. She looked up at him with weary, wide eyes, surprise on her face. 

"Toby," she said nervously. She opened her mouth to say more, but quickly turned to the toilet, "Oh god," she groaned again. 

Awareness dawned on Toby as he walked in and wet a washcloth for her. He handed it to her silently as their eyes met - his questioning, hers guilty. It was a few moments, very silent moments, of eye contact before Happy blinked and looked down, her arms forming a protective wrap around her stomach. 

"Are you," Toby began quietly. He swallowed hard, "Are you pregnant?"

A few tears built in Happy's eyes and she bit her lip as she nodded slowly. Toby fell back against the counter in shock. 

"And it-and it's mine?" he asked, regretting it the second it came out. 

An anger flashed over Happy's face as she rose "Of course it's yours. Who do you think I am?" she snapped.

Toby stood straight and shook his head, trying to wrap his mind around this, "How? When?" he cleared his throat, "When did you find out?"

Happy looked down, avoiding his eyes, knowing she couldn't lie to him, "Six weeks ago," she murmured quietly. 

Toby stared at her in shock, "I'm sorry. I thought you just said six weeks ago?"

Happy looked up and met his eyes, a sadness in her own, "I did. We found out a week before you were taken. I, uh, I'm 11 weeks."

"Oh," Toby murmured quietly, "the size of a brussel sprout," he said absent-mindedly as he turned around and headed to the living room in shock. He was unable to process what had just happened. 

"Tob-" Happy began, reaching for his arm, but cut herself short. She sighed and rubbed her eyes, a headache forming behind them. 

She knew Toby needed his space and time to think everything over. It was a lot to have to deal with. Happy gave him five minutes, spending that time cleaning herself up. Then she took a steadying breath and made her way out to him, ready to deal with whatever was to come. 

Toby sat there, unmoving, just staring at the coffee table in front of him. He didn't even turn her way when Happy came into the room. Happy took a seat on the opposite end of the couch, but faced him. She looked at him uneasily, waiting for him to make the first move. 

"Were you going to tell me? Toby mumbled, disbelief still in his voice. 

"Yes. No," Happy sighed, "I was going to tell you, but I didn't know how."

"When?" Toby asked, a hint of anger in his voice, "When you were too far along for you to hide it?"

Happy looked down and played with the frayed edges of the couch, "I was trying to figure it out, Toby. You don't know how hard this has been. You don't know me. So why would I throw information like this at you, on top of everything else?"

Toby ran a had through his hair and turned his head to look at her, "I don't know. Maybe because it's my baby too?"

"I," she hesitated, "I didn't want to overload you. You're already having to learn everything over again and it was one less thing you had to worry about. And you were getting those migraines. I was afraid learning something like this would just be too much for you. I was trying to protect you. I-I can't lose you again, Toby."

Toby stood up and started pacing, "Stop treating me like I'm going to break! I'm sick of it - of you always trying to keep everything from me, of you thinking I'm not strong enough to handle it. This," he gestured to her stomach, "this is something I should've known about from the beginning, my headaches be damned. You had no right to keep this from me."

Happy rose to her feet and yelled, "I know, damn it! I've should've told you, but I didn't. I'm sorry. I was scared it would be too much."

"You don't get to decide what I can or can't handle. You don't get to decide if something is 'too much' for me. I don't need your protection," Toby shouted back.

Happy slunk back against the couch, unsure what to say to make it better. She had her reasons for keeping it quiet, but Toby wasn't listening to her. He was frustrated. Frustrated at the situation and frustrated at Happy for not telling him. And to top it off, he was still in shock over learning he was going to have a child. That was something he never expected, let alone having a child in a situation like theirs, where he couldn't even remember loving the mother. He groaned and grabbed his coat, shrugging it on. 

"Where are you going, Doc?" Happy asked quietly, watching him walking away. It hurt her to think he would leave her so easily, but she was conditioned to think the worst, so it wasn't a surprise. All throughout her life, when the going got rough, the people most important to her left without a second look back. She felt her heart start to beat fast as those fears came to the forefront. Was this going to be the last time she saw Toby? Was he going to leave her like everyone else before?

Toby looked at her. It was clear he was struggling with what to do, "I don't know, Hap. Somewhere. I need to process what has happened. You kept something huge, life altering, from me. I need to wrap my brain around it, figure out where we go from here. This isn't a normal situation." He walked over to her and grabbed her hand, "But I promise, we're going to talk this through. I'm not leaving you. I just need time alone right now."

Happy nodded and fought back tears. She knew she could trust him, but the fear was too great to stay calm. Toby let go and turned to the door. Happy didn't try to stop him as he walked away. 

Happy was able to hold it together for 5 hours before the worry started to drive her crazy. Right after Toby left, she called Walter and told him they wouldn't be in, giving no explanation. She wasn't a superstitious person, but she still wanted to wait until she was at 15 weeks before anyone else on the team knew. There was still so much that could go wrong and she didn't want to take any chances. She hung up before Walter could refute, knowing he wouldn't try to call her back. 

She had been successful in distracting herself for awhile. First by modifying the vacuum cleaner to work more efficiently. Then by changing the oil in her truck. It was when she was in the shower, cleaning up, and her hand brushed the tiny bump of her stomach, that she allowed herself to think about what had happened earlier in that day. She wished it would've been handled differently and he wouldn't have found out the way he did. She wanted to ease him into it, but she ran out of time. 

Part of the reason she didn't tell him was because she hoped he would remember. Then this whole thing could be avoided. But he didn't and now it scared her to think about what could happen. It scared her to think he could reject her. Not only her, but the baby too. This was the first time she was really faced with the possibility she might have to do it on her own, which she would. She already loved the baby, more than she thought was possible. 

She rubbed her almost non-existent bump, "Hang in there, baby. We're in for a bumpy ride. But no matter what happens, I'm not leaving you. You won't go through what I had to. I already love you, little bug." She often found herself murmuring to her stomach, something she never thought she would do. But now it was second nature. It was her comfort in troubling times. It reminded her of the good she had in her life. 

Happy took a deep breath, trying to settle her nerves. Ever since she started thinking about it in the shower, she couldn't think of anything else. She didn't know what to expect about what would happen, but the worry about it, the worry about what Toby would say was driving her mad. She needed to find Toby. She didn't know where he went, but she had a good idea, so she grabbed her keys and ran out to her truck, determined to figure this out. 

Toby had driven around aimlessly for awhile after he left the apartment. But when he saw the sign for the beach, something told him he should go there; the voice in his head told him he could figure everything out there. He parked the car and walked until one spot drew his attention. It was far enough from everyone he could be alone, but close enough he could have distractions if he wanted it. He sat heavily in the sand and spent his time thinking over what he had just found out, while observing the people filling the beach. The people there were old and young, boys and girls, families and couples - each person was individual. But the one thing they all had in common was the large grins on all of their faces, laughter and happy screams filling the air. All of them, except Toby that is. He couldn't force a smile on his face when someone said hello. He couldn't laugh when a kid was knocked down by a wave. Instead, all he could do was worry. His mind couldn't stop thinking about what he had just learned - he was going to be a father. 

Toby let out a deep breath, rolling that word around in his head - father. It was one he never thought would be used in conjunction with him while growing up. Maybe in the past few years, his point of view had changed, but it went back to where it was when he was in school, thanks to the head injury. The word scared him, but not as much as the disappointed look on Happy's face as he walked away from her. He ran his hand roughly through his hair. Damn it, he really messed up. But she should have told him from the beginning. What did she think his reaction would be when he found out? If she would've told him, he knows it wouldn't have been what had happened. 

"Hi," a quiet voice said from behind him some time later. It was Happy. 

"How'd you know I'd be here?" he asked, not even looking up as she sat in the sand next to him. 

"Lucky guess," she said quietly, "This beach is special to us. This is where we decided to give it a go. You always liked to come here to think."

"Still do apparently," Toby commented.

Happy hummed in agreement and started playing with her engagement ring, something she didn't know why she still wore. She just couldn't make herself take it off and store it away. She glanced his way and saw him staring at something. She followed his gaze and saw a young couple splashing in the ocean. Laughing and joking, as carefree as someone could be. 

"Were we ever like that?" Toby asked, real wonder in his voice. 

Happy gave a short laugh, "We were in our own way. We couldn't be that carefree very often, not with our jobs." Happy shrugged, "But we laughed and joked, had fun. We made sure that when we weren't at work, we focused on us, allowed ourselves to be happy. We might not have danced around or chased each other on the beach very much, but we showed each other we cared in other ways." She sighed and let a happy smile grow in her face, "There was never any question that we were together. We're just not the type of people to be able to act like that," she gestured to the couple, "well I'm not the type of person. I prefer the quiet alone time, with only the two of us, instead of putting on a show for everyone else."

They sat quietly for a few more minutes, both of them just watching the people pass by. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" Toby asked quietly, breaking the silence, "I should've been told right when I woke up, even though I didn't remember you."

Happy sighed and looked down at her fingers playing in the sand, "I really don't know. I think I was scared."

Toby turned his head to look at her, an incredulous look on his face, "But why? You're never scared."

Happy cleared her throat, "It seems lately all I've been feeling is fear." She was quiet for a few moments, letting her words hang in the air, surrounding them. "I was scared it would cause a set back for you and I was scared of your reaction. I wanted to prepare myself for the worst, because the worst is inevitable for me." Happy took a deep breath, struggling to find the right words to say, "I think that if I just ignored it, it could be like it wasn't happening, that you wouldn't have to be shocked. But every morning as I got sick, all I could think about was how I was keeping this from you, which you're right, isn't fair. But if I didn't say anything, then you would have time to get to know me, get to knew the team, and maybe when the news came out, it wouldn't seem so bad. I don't know. I wanted you to know who I was before I told you, I guess. I really can't tell you why I didn't say anything, other than the fact that I was scared."

"Oh," Toby said nodding. He stayed silent for a long while after that, just looking out over the ocean. 

"So, what about you? What's going through your head, Doc?" Happy finally said, wanting to break the silence. 

Toby gave a sharp laugh, "Way too much and nothing at all."

"Ok?" Happy said slowly, looking around before settling her gaze on his face. 

Toby looked peaceful, yet unsettled. She could clearly tell that he wanted to talk, but didn't know the words to say. So Happy let him be. Instead she sat quietly next to him in the sand, knowing he would talk when he was ready. After what felt like hours, Toby started to talk. He was quiet and unsure at first; almost afraid to tell Happy what had gone through his mind. 

"At first, I was terrified. I'm not in the position to be a father. I didn't even know if I wanted to be a dad, Happy. I think I'd be horrible."

"Toby, no, don't think-" Happy started to interrupt him, but stopped when he held his hand up. 

"I didn't have the best influence. And I'm not in that same place I was in before. My life is anything but settled now. I'm trying to figure myself out still, but now the situation has changed all over again. I don't know if I can be a dad."

Happy felt the air escape her lungs and her heart stopped beating, "Why-why would you say that?"

Toby looked over at Happy sadly, "Because of my past. I don't know what a good dad is like."

"So you do the opposite of how you were raised," she said quietly, afraid that if she spoke any louder her voice would quiver. 

"It's not just that Hap. I can't tell this baby stories about how we met or what we were like. All I know is how we are now and that's colored from my memory loss. We aren't the people we were when this baby was made and I don't know if we'll ever get back there. We're friends, each learning how to be in each other's life again, that's it."

Happy blinked back tears that sprang to her eyes, "Whatever you decide, know that I already love this baby," she said, laying her hand protectively over her stomach. "If you want to go, then go. But I'm having this baby and I can, and will, do it without you. I don't want to pressure you into something you don't want to do. From here on out, I'm not going to tell you what to do, you can make your own decisions."

Toby gave a little chuckle, "We'll see about that. You know, I wanted to get to know you before anything life changing happened again." He sighed, "I don't know if a baby should be raised in a situation like this, but now that I know one is on its way, I can't imagine life without a child. It's scary, but it's exciting."

Happy sighed in relief at hearing his words. They shared a small smile, a light in both of their eyes. 

"You'll make such a great dad, Toby. I know-"

"Would you stop?" Toby laughed, "There's more that needs to be said."

Happy silently shook her head. 

"Never thought I'd have to tell you to be quiet," Toby said teasingly. Then his face grew serious again, "The more I thought about being a dad, the more excited I got. There would be a kid out there that depended on me. It's scary but I love the idea." Toby reached out and laid his hand over Happy's still on her stomach, "I would love this baby with everything in me. I could give this child everything I didn't have. I could make this work and be a good dad," he paused, then added, "I think."

"You would, Doc," Happy said gently, reaching her other hand out to squeeze his thigh. 

Toby pulled his hand away from her stomach and looked back out at the ocean. People were starting to leave. It had to be close to dinner time. "But then I started getting sad. Sad that you felt that you had to keep this from me. Sad that you thought I would react badly, which I did and I am so sorry, or even have a medical set back." Toby looked at her again, meeting her eyes. His were filled with determination, "I want to be there for you, help you. I want to be the person you come to when you get those weird cravings in the middle of the night. I should be helping you in the morning and going to doctors visits - this baby deserves the father I never had. I want to be there for it and do whatever I can to provide for it and right now, that means helping you. And the thought that you didn't think I'd want to do that really hurts."

"I'm-" Happy began, but was cut off again. 

"Just because I don't remember our life together doesn't mean I don't care, Happy. I do care, a lot. You're already my best friend and I know I would do anything for you." Toby took a deep breath, "So what I guess I'm saying is that I want to do this. I want to be involved with the pregnancy and this baby's life. I know there's still a lot to figure out. I don't know what's going to happen or how this is going to work, but we'll figure it out, together. You're not alone in this anymore." He smiled brightly at her, "That's my baby too and I want to do this. I want to do this for you too. You do so much, for everyone. You've taken care of me and helped me everyday since I lost my memories. Now it's my turn to take care of you."

Happy looked at him, doubt on her face, "Are you sure? Because I really don't want you to feel like you have to do this. We'll be fine on our own." She rubbed her small bump again. 

Toby smiled gently at her and grabbed her free hand, "I'm sure. I'm excited. I want to do to this." He moved his hand to cover her stomach again, "I already love this little one. I may be scared, but there's no question in my mind, I want to be a dad to this one."

Happy looked down at their hands on her stomach. There was a peacefulness that surrounded them at that exact moment. This was how it should've always been. She shouldn't have kept this from him. The guilt that she did still ate at her. 

"Listen Toby," she started quietly, "I really am sorry that you had to find out like you did. It wasn't my intention to keep it from you for so long, but I did. And you can't know how sorry I am."

Toby looked at her and moved his hand to grab hers, "It's ok, Hap. It's done and over with. We can't change anything now. So let's just move forward. But from here on out, don't keep anything from me. I really am sick of being treated with kid gloves, by everyone. I'm fine now, so no more thinking I can't handle anything."

"Ok, I'll try not to. But don't get mad if I mess up."

Toby laughed, "You never mess up, you're Happy Freakin' Quinn."

Happy rolled her eyes but let a small laugh out, "Damn right and don't forget it."

Toby looked back at the now near empty beach, "Was I excited when I found out?"

Happy leaned her head on his shoulder, the exhaustion of being pregnant and the day catching up to her, "After a little freak out you were. You were worried you'd be like your dad, but once we talked it through, you got excited. Uh, after we, um, celebrated, you went out and bought a few onesies and blankets and even a few teddy bears. They are in my room right now. I'll show you when we get home." She let out a loud yawn. 

"I could see myself doing that. Hell, I want to go to the store right now."

"Please, not tonight. We still have a long time until this baby is born."

"Fine, no shopping tonight," he said in a light tone. "What about the team? Were they excited?"

Toby felt Happy stiffen at his side. He looked down and saw that she had tilted her head on his shoulder to look up at him. 

"Yeah, about that. They don't know. Only Paige does. She's been the one helping me out."

Toby's eyes widened, "Why haven't you told them?"

"You and I had talked and we decided to wait until I was 15 weeks pregnant. The chances of anything bad happening go down after that. We just didn't want to take any chances." Happy took a deep breath, "I don't think I could handle it if something happened, but if the team knew and then I lost the baby and I would have to see their sympathetic faces, I know I would lose it." Happy shrugged, "Plus, the less time them know, the less time they have to annoy me with facts and stories."

Toby smiled, "Oh boy, can't wait to tell them. Ok, so no telling them for awhile longer. I can do that. Anything to keep my baby mama happy."

Happy lifted her head and shot him a glare, pushing his shoulder. But when she spoke, there was a laugh in it, "Oh my god, don't ever call me that again." She laid her head back down and yawned, "Or else I'm going to have to kick your ass."

"I'd like to see you try. You can barely stay awake right now," he teased, then patted her thigh, "Come on, let's get going. You obviously need a nap. I'll drive you home in your truck. You're too tired to drive. I'll just come back with Walter later to pick up my car."

Happy looked up and smiled at him, "You'd do that for me?"

He smiled gently down at her, "Of course, that's what friends are for." He stood up and offered his hand to her to help her stand. 

"Of course," Happy murmured, taking his hand and forcing a smile on her face. 

She followed behind him to the truck, determined to keep the sadness off her face. At hearing him say that, Happy's heart sank. He still only saw her as a friend. He didn't even seem to want to explore this deep connection between them. She knew she wasn't alone in feeling the jolt of electricity when they touched, she wasn't the only one sending loving glances across the garage, she wasn't the only person whose smile grew bigger when the other walked into the room or relaxed when they heard a voice or saw them. But Toby seemed to want to ignore that. 

She was silent on the drive home, trying to rein in her emotions. She didn't need, nor want, Toby to feel guilty. That was the one thing she had tried to do this whole time, let him figure out his own feelings. She knew he was still figuring out who he was, so it really didn't surprise her that he didn't want to jump into a relationship right away. To go from being alone, to all of a sudden having a child and a relationship wasn't normal. It was logical that he wouldn't want to start something new when he's still in the middle of finding out who he was. But she felt confident that with time, they would find their way back to each other - they had to. So she smiled, tamping down her feelings, and started making conversation with Toby, determined to not let him see how she was really feeling. 

It had been a week since Toby found out. And he stayed true to his word, he was there every step of the way. At times it was a little overwhelming for Happy, to have him constantly asking her how she felt and what he could do for her - especially after having to do it on her own for five weeks. But it made her happy. It reminded her of how things were before Toby lost his memory. Anytime Happy wanted anything, Toby was there to get it. Toby would worry if she was doing something dangerous on a job, but kept silent, knowing Happy wanted to keep it quiet for awhile longer. But when they were home, he would ask a million questions, making sure the baby was fine. 

He was all about the baby now. Every conversation had to do with the baby, every concern was about the baby. Gone was their banter and the casual conversation they used to make. Gone were the moments where they would connect over late night confessions on the couch. It was almost as if Toby could see nothing but the baby anymore. His heart didn't seem to be in to learning about Happy and his past with her. And that hurt Happy. She didn't expect things to transform over night, but she did hope things would start changing. She scoffed at herself, "Wishful thinking," she thought. 

Happy lifted her welding mask forcefully, angry at herself for once again getting her hopes up. She ripped off the gloves and threw them to the side, leaning forward on the table and hanging her head. Seriously, what did she expect? Time after time, she had been disappointed and let down, so why did she think this was going to be different? "Because it's Toby," a little voice chimed in her head, "and you and Toby have a connection that can't be broken." Happy sighed and realized she was expecting too much, too quickly. Things like this took time. Look at how long it took them to get together the first time. 

She sighed and closed her eyes, calming herself down. When she opened them, she saw Toby looking over at her, the concern evident on his face. She gave him a reassuring smile, which he returned then went back to his work. She looked at her watch, surprised to see how late it was. She quickly shucked off her apron and made her way over to Toby. 

Toby looked up at her again and smiled, "Hey, what's up?"

Happy shifted on her feet, all of a sudden nervous, "Um, I have-I have a doctors appointment in an hour. And I didn't know if you would want to come?" Happy blushed as she looked down, "Or I could just ask Paige to come with me again," she quickly added after seeing his confused face. 

A grin broke out on his face, "Of course, I'll come," he exclaimed and stood up, "I knew you'd be due for a check up soon, but I didn't want to say anything in case you didn't want me there."

Happy felt herself relax and smiled, "You're always welcome to come. I don't think anything exciting will happen today. The doctor said it won't be until around 20 weeks that we can find out the sex, if we want. So it'll be pretty boring."

Toby grabbed his keys and put on his hat, "I don't care. As long as we hear everything is fine, I'll be excited."

They quickly let Walter know they were heading out - Toby making up an excuse about him having an appointment - then made their way to Happy's appointment. When they got there, Happy couldn't help but feel nervous all of a sudden. It was different with Toby here. She started bouncing her leg, trying to relieve the nerves. Toby could tell what was going on with Happy, so he settled his hand on her leg and gave it a squeeze. 

"Hap, I don't have to go in if you don't want. I won't be mad," he said, trying to get her to calm down. 

Happy shook her head, "No, you should come in. It's fine. I don't even know why I'm so anxious."

Toby sat back in his seat and spoke calmly, "You've been through a lot lately. It's normal to be nervous. Things haven't really been that great the past couple weeks, so now you're expecting something to go wrong again. But nothing is wrong. You're healthy, the baby is healthy and growing. Just relax. Let yourself enjoy this."

Happy rolled her eyes and stared at him, "Yeah, I really want to enjoy getting sick everyday."

Toby chuckled, "Hey, it means the baby is growing, so I'm fine with cleaning up after you."

Happy opened her mouth to retort but was interrupted by the nurse calling her name. 

"You're lucky, Doc," Happy mumbled under her breath as they walked in. 

Toby just grinned smugly at her. He was shown the room, while Happy was shown to the bathroom, followed by a weigh in. Happy had never really been one to weigh herself often, not really caring, but now she held her breath - on one hand she was glad that the number was going up, but on the other, she was like any other girl and hated seeing it. 

When she got back to the room, she stifled a laugh at seeing Toby. He was sitting there reading pamphlets about things most men would be uncomfortable even talking about. But not Toby, he just looked up and smiled as the nurse gave him a questioning look. 

The nurse took Happy's blood pressure and asked a few questions about stress and activity level. Happy tried to down play it, but Toby chimed in, explaining to the nurse about their jobs and home life situation. Happy looked down at her hands, uncomfortable with the nurse knowing all about her personal life. After the nurse finally left, Happy kicked a leg out, coming in contact with Toby's shin. 

"Ow, my shin!" Toby yelped, rubbing the sore spot, "What the hell was that for Happy?"

"That was for telling the nurse everything I didn't want her to know. Thanks Doc," Happy said sarcastically. 

Toby looked at her sternly, "She needed to know. All this stress could affect the health of the baby. This way they will look more thoroughly and make sure everything's ok."

Happy rolled her eyes, "I think I would know if something is wrong. And you are a doctor, so I think I'm safe."

Toby sat back, "I'm not an OB-GYN, Happy. They wouldn't even let me do rounds as one because I was too young. The moms freaked out when then saw me come into the room. They didn't want, and I quote, "a kid playing with my who-ha". They didn't believe I was in med school."

Happy couldn't hold back the belly laugh that came from her. Toby took offense to that.

"Stop, it's not funny."

"Oh Doc, yes it is."

Before Toby would respond, the doctor knocked on the door.

"Hello Happy," Dr. Marks greeted. She looked over at Toby and smiled, "Good to see you, Dr. Curtis. I was wondering when I'd see you again. I was so sorry to hear about your injury."

Toby shot a surprised look at Happy and then smiled at the doctor, "Thanks."

Happy shrugged as Dr. Marks laughed.

"Oh, she didn't tell me. It was her friend that came with her that informed me."

Toby smiled knowingly, "Yeah, Happy isn't much for sharing."

After a few more moments of small talk, Dr. Marks started examining Happy. She asked her questions and made sure everything was going well. Towards the end, Dr. Marks got a strange smile on her face. 

"Now, Happy, since you're at 12 weeks, we can listen to the heartbeat if you want. We don't have to do it today, but we do want to check that the heartbeat is where it's supposed to be at soon. But I understand if you don't have the time today."

Happy's eyes grew wide. An excited look came across her face. She looked over at Toby and saw that his face mirrored hers. 

"No, we want to do it. I want to hear the heartbeat."

Dr. Marks smiled and nodded, "I figured you would." She pulled out a handheld machine from the cabinet behind her. "This is called a Doppler. It's a handheld ultrasound machine that is used to find the heartbeat. Now if you will just lift your shirt so I can get to your belly, we can begin."

Happy folded up her shirt and Toby was surprised to see a small bump. She had been hiding her stomach with looser shirts, so this was the first time he really saw that she was pregnant. This small bump, along with the glow Happy had had about her since Toby found out, made Toby feel calm. He looked at her face and saw an almost imperceptible smile on her face, which cause him to smile as well. Her beauty absolutely astounded him. The jittery feeling he always had when he was around Happy started growing stronger as he took her in, the electricity running through his body grew. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her, even as the doctor explained what was going on. He was nervous, yet happy, nothing could bring him down when he was around her - it was as if nothing made sense when she wasn't around. 

All of a sudden, Toby was pulled from his thoughts when a fast, almost fluttering sound filled the room. Dr. Marks grinned at Toby and Happy. 

"There's your baby's heartbeat. It's steady at 154. That's exactly where we want it."

Happy sighed in relief and blinked back tears that came to her eyes. She thought she had never heard such a sweet sound in her life. She looked over at Toby and saw unshed tears in his eyes. A look of pure excitement and joy was on his face. 

Toby reached out and grabbed Happy's hand, "That's our baby, Hap."

Happy smiled sweetly back, "Yeah Doc, that's our baby."

They listened to the fluttering for a few minutes more, neither one saying anything. Instead they just stared at each other and shared smiles, happy to be there in that moment. They continued their silent conversation as the doctor cleaned up and gave a few last minute instructions. It was only once Dr. Marks had left the room and Happy got off the table that words were finally spoken. 

Toby reached out his hand, grabbing Happy's, and hauled her to him. He wrapped her up in his arms and kissed her forehead, "Thank you, Hap," he murmured against her skin. 

Happy snuggled her face into his chest, allowing herself to wrap her arms around him, "Anytime Doc."

It was after that, that things started changing between the two of them. Their glances were longer, their smiles sweeter. They started making up more excuses to stop by the other's desk throughout the day. Their nightly talks grew more flirty, while at the same time growing deeper. The jolt of excitement was constantly there. They would connect and form a stronger bond as they would sit on the couch, talking to her belly. Toby would often touch Happy's back when he was walking by or when she was walking next to him. He would grab her hand and give it a squeeze while smiling at her in a different, deeper way. Happy always found herself kissing his cheek before she'd walk away. Spoken words were softer and sweeter - there was a sense of awe surrounding them. 

Toby sought her out more. If they were separated for too long on a case, Toby made sure to text her or call her, just to let her know he was thinking of her and wanted her to get back safely. And when they were back together, Toby made sure to drag Happy to dinner so they could catch up. It was during those times that Toby would tell Happy how worried he was about her and how he couldn't breath easily until he saw her.

Happy was actually on her way to one of those meals. She had been off with Walter all day on a job, which surprisingly went well for once. But they were late getting back and Toby was worried. She had tried to calm him down, which he didn't do until Happy suggested meeting up for dinner at a local Mexican restaurant they frequented often. 

Happy was pulling up, anxious herself to see Toby. She never admitted it, not like Toby, but these days when she couldn't see him took a toll on her. She felt like part of herself was missing when he wasn't around. She parked the car and turned it off, looking through the windows for him. Her eyes caught his hat, which she hated, and she felt a smile grow on her face. She opened her door to get out, but stopped. Toby was sitting there with another women, her hand was resting on his. Happy felt her heart drop to her stomach. They shared a laugh and a smile before she got up, pulling Toby into a tight hug. Happy thought she was going to be sick. Everything that she thought had been happening between them, all the moments she thought they had been having was all in her head. She saw it because she wanted to believe they were happening. 

She wiped the tear that fell off of her face roughly, cursing at herself for being so stupid. She couldn't let herself keep going through this. She had to make a change and as much as she hated it, she knew what she had to do. 

Toby waited for an hour for Happy to show up. He sent five texts, each one increasing in worry when she didn't respond. Finally, after calling Walter to confirm they made it home, he gave up waiting for her. He knew something was wrong, so he ran to his car and drove home quickly, breaking all the road rules. He ran upstairs to the apartment they shared and burst in. He was shocked up what he saw. Happy was on the couch, a sad, but determined look on her face, and her bags were near the front door. 

"What's this?" Toby was confused. 

Happy stood up and took a shuddering breath, "I, uh, I think I should move out. I can stay with my dad until I find a place. I was just going to leave, but I thought you deserved to know."

Toby's eyes widened in shock, "What? No, don't do that."

Happy walked towards him, her face set in stone, "I think it's for the best. You're going to want to start dating and it would be awkward to bring them back to a place where your pregnant ex-fiancée is living, who, by the way, you don't remember."

Toby didn't know where this was coming from, "But-"

Happy didn't let him talk, "And you may not remember, but I do and I don't think I can't watch you moving on. I love you and this hurts too much. So it's best if I just leave."

Toby grabbed her arm as she tried to brush past him. He forced her to look him. Panic was overtaking him, she couldn't leave, "No, you're not going anywhere. This place feels complete when you're here. I feel complete. I may not remember, but I do know that you make things better, you make me feel like myself. I can't imagine being in a place without you, it just wouldn't feel right. So please, please stay. I need you."

Happy looked down. Cracks were starting to form in the wall she put up around her, "But what about dating? I can't just sit and watch you moving on with your life."

Toby sighed, needing her to listen, "Did you not hear me? You make me feel complete. Why would you think I would want to date anyone else?" He stepped back and threw his hands up, "That's absurd, Hap. I want to remember what we had. It sounds like it was perfect. I'm trying to figure out how to get that back. So don't give up on me, not now."

Happy looked up and Toby was surprised to see a few tears on her cheeks, "But I saw you with that girl."

"What girl?" Toby asked, not understanding what was happening. 

Happy huffed in exasperation, "The girl at the restaurant, where I was going to meet you for dinner."

Realization dawned on Toby, "Oh her? Oh she's no one," he said with conviction. Happy looked at him like she didn't quite believe him.

Toby took her hand in his own and started explaining, "I guess we were friends before and I helped her with a problem she was dealing with with her husband. I don't remember, but she was thanking me. When I told her I didn't remember, she asked what happened and I told her. We started talking and she gave me the number of a hypnotherapist who helped her brother. He was in an attack over in Iraq and temporarily lost some of his memories, but this therapist helped him get them back." Toby smiled, "I need to remember you and nothing is working. Right now I'm willing to try anything to get back the memories I lost, so I took it. You must've seen me thanking her. I swear, there is nothing between us. I don't even see other women when I have someone like you in front of me." He brushed a piece of hair off of her face and slowly let his fingers trail down her jaw, "It's easy to see why I fell in love with you. You're so smart and capable and fun, and that personality happens to be wrapped in a nice little package."

Happy leaned into his touch and let out a small laugh, relief washing over her body, "You know, you said that exact same thing to me a few years ago. Back when I was scared to be in a relationship with you. But you kept pestering me. And I'm glad you did. It turned out to be the best thing. But I don't know what we are Toby. I don't know what you want me to be."

Toby gave her a loving smile, "Then it must be true. If you just give me some time to figure things out. I think I want to try this again. I just need to take it slow. I don't know what we are either at this moment, but we have a connection. We're obviously more than friends, but I don't know what. Right now I'm learning who I am all over again. I'm learning about all these important relationships I had. I don't know if I can tell you what we are. I just know you're more than a friend to me." Toby grabbed her hand again and interlocked his fingers with hers, "When I woke up and saw you there, I instantly felt safe. I knew you were someone I could trust, someone close to me. But I didn't remember how close. It was an instant connection though. Nothing around me made sense, but you did."

"We've always had a connection," Happy said quietly. 

"I want to get to know you, Happy. I care about you, I do. I want to explore these feelings. I want to be with you, whatever that means. Let's take this slowly, one step at a time. To me, I'm starting a new relationship and it's scary. You know all about me, but I know very little about you. I can tell you want to jump back in to where we were and I hate that I can't do that for you. You deserve everything and I want to give that to you, but it's going to take time. Please be patient with me. I need you, I know I do, so just give me time."

Happy let a small smile grow on her face, "That sounds good to me. I miss you, but we'll take it at your pace. I don't want to pressure you. And if you want out, you need to tell me. I can deal with it," she laid a hand on her stomach, "We can deal with it."

"I will sweetheart, but I don't see that being a possibility," he said sweetly, pulling her to his chest and wrapping her in a hug. He leaned down and kissed top of her head. They both sighed in contentment, finally back in each other's arms. 

Happy yawned loudly against his chest. Toby pulled back and laughed.

"Were you always this tired?"

Happy rolled her eyes and swatted at his chest, "No, idiot. It's your kid growing in me. I'm always tired now."

A loving look came over Toby's face as he led her to the couch. He sat down and patted the seat next to him, "Lay down. Put your head in my lap and we'll watch tv. You can relax."

Happy yawned again and smiled. "You're the best, Doc," she said, settling down on the couch. 

Within five minutes, Happy fell asleep and when she finally woke, it was the the next morning and she was still on the couch with Toby. Toby was still asleep, his head laying on the back of the couch and he had one hand on her bump. Happy couldn't remember the last time she had slept so great. It was the best nights sleep she had had since Toby was taken. A large grin formed on her face as she realized things were starting to work out with Toby. 

Slowly Toby started to wake. Happy knew this by the gentle rubbing of circles of his hand over her bump. 

She looked up and saw him staring down at her, "Hi," she said quietly. 

Toby smiled lazily, "Hi. Guess we fell asleep here."

Happy smiled, "Guess so. But that was the best nights sleep I've had in awhile."

"Me too. Normally I wake up 2-3 times at night with a headache, but not last night."

They shared a smile and Happy sat up. Toby didn't let her go far though as he pulled her to him so she was leaning on his side. She laid her head on his chest. He leaned down the kissed the top of her head. 

"We should probably get ready for work," she said quietly. 

He tightened his grip on her, "Yeah, probably," he murmured back.

But neither made a move to get up.


	6. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy goes out on a case and Toby loses contact with her, his fear is much worse than he thought imaginable.

"Hey," Toby said, jogging to catch up to Happy as he rounded her truck. He grabbed her hand when he got close, linking their fingers together, "You're at 15 weeks now. Think we should tell the team?"

Happy, who had been smiling up at him, stopped in her tracks, "What?"

Toby gave a small laugh, "Do you want to tell the rest of the team about the baby? I don't know how much longer you'll be able to hide it." He looked down lovingly at her minuscule bump that he could only see because he was looking for it. 

"Oh, I don't know," she said slowly, furrowing her brow, "I mean, I guess we could."

"I get the feeling you don't want to."

She sighed, "I don't want things to change. You just found out and I sort of like that it's our secret, aside from Paige. No one is pressuring us or asking us what we're going to do. We can do whatever we want. Things are finally calm for the first time in weeks and I don't want to upset that. My dad doesn't even know yet."

Toby smiled gently at her, pushing a stray hair off her forehead, "I'll do whatever you want me to do. If you want to stay quiet for a little longer, then we will."

"Thanks, Doc."

"Of course," he murmured pulling her in for a hug. 

Happy sighed into his embrace, allowing herself to hold him just a bit tighter. For the past two weeks, Happy and Toby started slipping back into some of their old ways before Toby lost his memory. They would cuddle on the couch, Happy throwing her legs over his lap, laughing at a stupid story or a funny joke. Forehead kisses and hugs from behind were a now a norm again; as was holding hands whenever they got the chance. They no longer jumped at the other's touch, but welcomed it, hoping for more. It was like the beginning of a relationship where every touch, while feeling so familiar, was still new and exciting. But at times, they were still tentative, worried they had pushed too far or held on too long. 

Slowly, they pulled apart, keeping their eyes on each other, hands moving to intertwine; neither one wanting to be the first to step away. Happy's eyes quickly flitted down to Toby's lips, before locking her gaze with his again. She bit her bottom lip nervously, seeing her desire reflected in his own eyes to share a kiss, something they had yet to do since his memory loss. Letting her smile grow, she leaned towards him. His eyes widened slightly, tongue shooting out to wet his lips. Sliding his hand up her arm to the back of her neck, he pulled her to him gently, resting his other hand on her hip. His fingers dug into her skin in anticipation. Happy's eyes fluttered shut as she fisted her hands in his shirt, welcoming the heat from his body pressed against hers.

Just as their lips were about to finally meet, a loud bang of the door hitting the wall had them jumping apart. Happy looked down, disappointment rushing through her. It had been too long since she felt his soft lips against hers, his tongue battling hers for dominance, the way he had always held her close, making her feel so protected. Toby stood next to her, his loud sigh a clear sign of his own disappointment. Happy looked up at him and shrugged at his sorry-filled smile. 

"Sorry if I'm interrupting anything," Paige said, oblivious to what had almost happened, "but we have a case and Walter needs Happy's help."

Toby stepped forward, almost as if he were protecting Happy, "Is this safe?" This wasn't the first case that Happy was needed on since Toby found out about the baby, so she wasn't surprised by his reaction. Each time he argued she shouldn't go, but each time she ignored him and did what she wanted. 

She hit his arm as she moved to stand beside him, "I'll be fine, Doc. Don't worry so much."

Paige smiled at Toby, "I think it's sweet."

Happy rolled her eyes and turned to Toby, "I'll stay safe. We don't even know what's going on, so it's too early to worry."

Toby scowled, "But it's not just you anymore, Hap."

Paige turned to go back into the garage, "I'll leave you two alone."

Happy sighed, but smiled at Toby, "I know that. I have a bump to prove it," she laid her hand on her stomach, "But just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I stop working. I can still do everything I did before, especially now while this one isn't in my way. Plus, Walter, Sly, and Cabe don't know yet. They would think it strange if I stopped going out on cases. I'll be careful and I won't take any unnecessary or dangerous chances." She grabbed Toby's hand and placed it on her stomach, "You know I'll protect him or her at all costs."

Toby's fingers moved over her bump, rubbing gently, "I know, but that doesn't mean I won't worry. Anything could happen, Hap. Look at me."

She grabbed his free hand and gave it a squeeze, "We can't live in a bubble, Doc. That's not who we are. We help people and do what many people think is impossible. That's not changing anytime soon, even if I am having a baby." She stepped away, heading to the door, "You can keep worrying about it if you want, but I'm going inside to do my job now."

He sighed, "Nothing I say will change your mind, right?"

Happy stopped and smirked, shaking her head.

He moved closer to her, "Alright, I'll keep my worries to myself for now. But you have to promise to stay safe. I can't lose you or the baby. You two are my family," he paused, "my home now. I need you." 

Happy raised on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek softly, "Always, I promise."

Two hours later, Toby was pacing around the garage, trying to remain calm. Walter and Happy had gone with Cabe to a warehouse where they were to disable a shipment of intercepted EMPs on their way to various cities across the country. Toby had offered to go with them, 'You might need my help,' he suggested, although he really just wanted to keep an eye on Happy. Walter stared at him, confused by his want to go so badly, 'There is no need for a doctor, Toby. It'll be more efficient if we just go and you three stay here,' he responded. Toby furrowed his brow and turned to Happy for support, but she just smirked and shrugged.

It was supposed to be an easy job, that's what Walter had said. But now, after they refused to let Toby go, Cabe had tripped, spraining his ankle and could barely walk, and Walter had cut his arm fairly deep - Happy had almost passed out with the amount of blood coming from him. Nothing was going right and it looked like Walter had once again been wrong in saying they didn't need his expertise. 

Toby was waiting for something more to happened. That seemed to be the way their cases went; it was a domino effect, one bad thing happened, which set off a whole chain of events. Happy was the only one left unscathed at the moment and that terrified Toby. 

"We're almost done here, Doc," Happy stated over comms. 

Toby stopped his pacing and closed his eyes in relief, "Thank god. How much longer?"

"What was that?" Walter asked quietly before Happy could respond to Toby. 

Toby tensed up, "What was what?"

"I heard it too, son," Cabe whispered, "Stay quiet."

"I'm not detecting any new heat signatures guys," Sylvester said, typing away on his keyboard, checking the satellite images.

Walter spoke up, "There's something or someone moving around in here."

"Happy, get out of there," Toby said worriedly. 

"Doc-" she began, but was stopped by a scream. The next thing Toby heard was Happy, "Oh, not good."

Then there was silence. Toby and Paige shared a wide eyed look, before whipping their heads around to Sly who sat there, shock on his face. 

"What happened?" Paige asked quietly. 

Sylvester shook his head, "I don't know, but they're gone. Their comms have been completely shut off."

Toby quickly pulled out his phone, dialing Happy's number. She didn't answer. Panic started bubbling up inside him as his heart started beating fast. Putting down his phone, he noticed his hand trembling. What had happened to them?

"Sylvester," Toby yelled, "get them back online, now!"

Sly looked up at Toby nervously, "I'm trying. I don't know what what happened."

"Well figure it out," he shouted, grabbing whatever was nearby, a wrench, and throwing it across the room.

Paige came over and laid a hand on his arm, "Toby, calm down. I'm sure they're fine."

Toby stared at her icily, "I'll calm down when we know that for a fact."

"I know you're worried," she said quietly, "but yelling at Sly-"

"You don't know anything, Paige."

"Tob-"

"No," Toby said lowering his voice so Sylvester couldn't overhear, "Happy is out there, pregnant with my child, and I have no idea if she's safe or not. I have no idea if she needs me. I can't do anything to help her. And the last thing she said was 'Not good'. We don't know why or what's going on. So don't tell me to calm down."

"She and Walter have gotten out of tight spots before, Toby," Paige said calmly, "You have a right to be scared, but it won't help if you're yelling at everyone."

Toby turned sharply and walked away before he said anything else he knew he'd later regret. He quickly made his way over to his desk and began rummaging through his desk for his car keys, before remembering they had come in Happy's truck today. Which Happy, of course, took to the case. He groaned. He had to do something. 

"Paige, where are your keys? I need to borrow your car."

"No, Toby. You're not going out there," she said firmly. 

"Paige, I have to do something," Toby pleaded. 

Paige shook her head, standing firm in her decision. 

"I'll hotwire your car then," he threatened, "I have to get to Happy."

Her eyes widened slightly, "Fine, then I'll report you to the police."

"You won't have to do that Paige," Sly spoke up, concerned about Toby, "Toby doesn't remember how to hotwire a car anymore. And Happy said she's never teaching him that again."

Paige's smug smile turned to one of concern as she saw real fear cross Toby's face. She walked over to Toby and pulled him to her in a hug. 

"Toby, I promise you, everything will be fine. Those three will come back to us. You're not going to lose Happy, not now, not anytime." She stepped back, "Listen, if we don't hear anything from them in an hour, we'll both go over there and see what's going on."

"It might be too late by then," Toby whispered haggardly. 

"I've contacted Homeland," Sly tried to reassure Toby, "They're going to send a couple agents out there to check everything out. They'll be there in 10 minutes."

Toby nodded, not trusting his voice to keep from wobbling. He slowly made his way back to his desk, slumping in his chair, putting his head in his hands. They were just finding their way back to each other. He couldn't lose her now. Closing his eyes, he rubbed them with his hand. A headache was forming. 

All of a sudden, a picture of snow crossed his mind and he felt fear, pure, unadulterated fear. He couldn't even breathe. Squeezing his eyes tighter, he heard his desperate voice calling for Happy, the sound drifting away in the wind. It became clearer in his mind. He saw himself trudging forward, his eyes scanning the vast land around him, desperation obvious in all his features. It was cold, so very cold. Toby clutched his chest. Whatever this memory was, it was hurting his heart to even think about it. But he didn't open his eyes, for fear that whatever was going on would stop, so he clenched them tighter. He then saw himself standing on the edge of a hole looking down. Inside he saw Happy, unmoving, eyes shut. His eyes flew open, gasping for breath. He couldn't take it anymore. Even seeing Happy like that in his memory, unsure if she was dead or alive, crippled him. 

Paige was by him in an instant, kneeling by his side, having witnessed the whole thing. The terror on his face worrying her. 

"What's going on Toby? What happened? You were sitting there for over a half an hour looking like you were dying."

In a hoarse voice, Toby whispered, "I think I had a memory."

Paige gasped quietly, rubbing his arm. "Of what?"

Before he could answer, the door to the garage opened, laughter filling the garage before the people themselves. In walked Happy, Walter, and Cabe hobbling behind them. Toby shot to his feet, running over to Happy. He reached for her when he got close, hugging her tightly to his chest before stepping back and taking her face in his hands. Panicked, he quickly ran his eyes over her face and body, checking for injuries. Then his eyes grew wide and he dropped his hands. He stepped back, a confused look on his face. 

"Were you - were you guys just laughing?" 

Happy started laughing all over again and nodded, unable to speak. 

Toby stiffened and there was anger in his voice, "Why the hell were you laughing?"

The three shared a look and the laughing grew harder. Paige and Sly were at a loss for words, they were just as confused, and relieved, as Toby. Through their laughter, Cabe, Happy, and Walter were able to explain what had happened.

"The noise we heard was a rat," Cabe started, "It came out of nowhere, running right past us."

"And Walt here," Happy said, smacking his back, "He screamed like a little girl, and he threw the EMP in his hands at it."

Walter rolled his eyes, but chuckled along, "It startled me. But when I threw it, the EMP went off and fried our comms and phones. As well as all of the remaining EMPs, I don't know why we didn't just do that in the first place. We could've saved a lot of time."

Happy nodded, "Once we realized everything was down, we made our way back."

"And you didn't think to stop somewhere and call us?" Toby shouted harshly, throwing his hands in the air. 

The laughter stopped quickly, as everyone in the room stared at him. 

Happy flinched when Toby turned his icy gaze at her, "We didn't know we had to, we were only 30 minutes away. Relax, Doc, we're fine," she said quietly, rolling her eyes, pushing past him and heading to her workshop. 

Toby went after her, grabbing her hand when he got close and started dragging her along behind him, "Roof, now," he managed to get out between clenched teeth. 

As they were walking towards the stairs, they heard Cabe mutter behind them, "What's gotten into him?"

Happy followed him silently to the roof, wondering herself what was going on. When they got there, Toby started pacing around the roof, muttering to himself. She stayed quiet, staring at him, waiting for an explanation for what he had just done. 

Finally he stopped and glared at her, "How the hell could you do that to me?"

She had no idea what he was talking about, "What?"

"You knew," he ground out, "you knew I was worried about you going out in the field without me. Then radio silence and the last words you had said to me made me think something horrible had happened." He walked towards her, "Then, you come back laughing about it. It's like you had no regards for my feelings at all."

Happy's jaw dropped, "How could you say that? I've done nothing but think about your feelings for the past 9 weeks."

Toby groaned and pulled at his hair, deciding to try another tactic to get Happy to understand how sick he felt at not knowing what was going on. He walked over to her, a serious look on his face. 

He took a deep breath, "You're right. You've done a lot for me recently. And I appreciate it. I couldn't have made it without your help. But listen Happy, I remembered-"

"What? What did you remember?" she interrupted him, grabbing his arm. Hope rushed through her. 

"I remembered you being lost in Antarctica."

"Oh," Happy said quietly, dropping her hand from his arm. That was a time they barely mentioned after the fact. Toby said it was the worst time of his life, so Happy never brought it up. Over time, she had realized that anything that brought Toby pain, brought her pain too. She hated seeing him like that. 

Toby looked up at the sky before locking his eyes on her, "I remember the fear I felt, the pain ripping my heart apart; thinking I'd never see you again. That's what I felt earlier when I didn't know what was going on."

"But, Toby, I was fine. You had no reason to worry," she said calmly. 

"But I didn't know that!" he roared. He took a deep breath and quieted his voice, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled. But how was I supposed to know you were okay? For almost 45 minutes I had no clue if you were alive or dead. I didn't know if I'd ever see you, or the baby, alive again. Can you really blame me for being mad right now?"

Happy looked at him questioningly, "You were never like this before. At least not to this level. You trusted me to keep myself safe and didn't hover. It's a little suffocating, Doc. You're worried about me, about the baby. I get it, I do, but you need to take a step back."

Toby looked at her in anguish, "Well before, I didn't know how easily my life could change in an instant, Hap. But now I do. And there's even more at risk now. I said I'd back off, and I'll try, but you've got to work with me Happy. You have to let me know you're okay, you have to keep me in mind. I can't lose you two and I'm scared to death I will." He sighed heavily and ran his hand through his hair, "Today, not knowing just about killed me. You have to understand where I'm coming from, Happy."

She looked down, embarrassed that she didn't do the one thing she knew she probably should've done, the one thing that would ease his mind, something she'd be mad if he didn't do in a similar situation. "I do, I understand that fear of not knowing. I've been through that once or twice with you." She shrugged and looked into his eyes, "I'm sorry, I should've considered what you'd be feeling. I just - sometimes I still forget that there are people who care. I never had to check in with anyone before you, it was always only me. Even though we were together for awhile, you knew this and would never get mad at me if I didn't call, which sometimes happened. I don't think of things like that, Toby. That's not the way I am."

"I get that, but things have changed now. It's not just you anymore, and I don't think it has been for a long time. All I'm asking is that you don't forget me. You and this baby mean so much to me, and if it bugs you that I need reassurance that you're okay, I'm sorry. My injury has made me more cautious now, more scared. I can't help it."

"It's made me more scared too, Doc," she admitted quietly. "For awhile, I thought I had lost you and I was completely heartbroken. I knew I'd never get over it; I'd live the rest of my life in a fog. But then, I got you back. It wasn't the same, obviously, but you're still here and that was enough for me. But every time you leave the garage without me, I feel nothing but dread and worry until you walk back in. What you feel about losing us, is what I feel about losing you. So what you're saying, I understand. I'll try not to do that again, make you worry for nothing. It's not fair, especially when I would hate it if you did that to me."

Toby sighed and smiled gratefully, "Thank you. You don't know how much better that makes me feel."

Happy smiled slightly, "You're welcome. Like I said, I get it." Then her smile turned into a glare, "But don't you ever do that in front of the team again or else you're going to wish you never knew me. You understand me, Curtis?"

Toby made a face, "What was I supposed to do? I was mad."

Happy crossed her arms across her chest, "Take me aside like a normal adult would do."

Toby turned around and groaned, "Seriously? After what you just did, you're mad at me? That's ridiculous."

Happy huffed, but didn't move, waiting for an apology. Toby stalked towards her, an angry look returning to his eyes. But Happy didn't move back; she held her spot, glaring at him. He got close, into her personal space, and was ready to make a snarky remark, but as his eyes locked with hers, the atmosphere around them changed. With a little gasp, Toby know she realized too. It went from anger to one of want in just seconds. 

His gaze softened as he stared at her, reaching out to lay his hand on her stomach; it was almost a need for him, to touch her stomach, like he needed it to make sure they were still really with him. She could still see the worry in his eyes, but she didn't say anything more. Not to reassure him, not to snark at him. She couldn't. It was all she could do to not turn away from his gaze; he was looking at her so intensely, like he could see inside her, could see into her heart. But there was something in his face making it impossible for her to step away and break the intense mood surrounding them. She shifted towards him, an unknown force pulling her to him. 

"Come 'ere," he murmured, wrapping an arm around her waist, pulling her flush with him. 

She tried to swallow, but he was so close to her she couldn't even think; she could only focus on him, his hand sliding up her back, the other cupping her face, his eyes locked on her face, the nervous smirk shaping his lips. She tilted her head up, giving him permission to do what she wanted so badly. He smiled, then leaned down, pressing his lips to hers; their eyes closing as their lips met. 

It was a tentative kiss at first. Almost chaste. Just a simple touching of lips, as his thumb ran up and down her cheek. Then a shared sigh between the two of them had the kiss shifting to one of more passion. Happy's hand grabbed the back of his neck, pulling herself even closer to him. With a tilt of her head, she opened her mouth, allowing his tongue to tangle with hers. A soft moan rose from the back of her throat; the most wonderful sound Toby had ever heard. At this, Toby tightened his grip on her and started walking her backwards towards the wall, his need for her increasing. This felt right. Kissing her, holding her close, felt right. It felt like something he should be doing everyday for the rest of his life. 

When her back hit the wall, Toby pulled back slightly breathing heavily, needing to catch his breath. Happy opened her eyes. Underneath her heavy lids, he could see the desire in her eyes. Both hands came up to cup her face as he leaned in to kiss her softly again. A quiet whimper from Happy had him biting her bottom lip gently before attacking her mouth with his once again. 

Toby slid his hands down her sides, coming to rest on her waist. He pulled her hips to his, pressing her into the wall to get as close as he possibly could. But it wasn't close enough. His hand slipped under the bottom of her shirt, caressing the soft skin on her back. Happy arched into him, pulling the hair at the back of his neck. Toby groaned, moving his lips down to her neck, gently sucking on the soft skin above her pulse point. 

"Toby," Happy breathed his name, tilting her head to the side, allowing him more access. 

Before long, Happy had the need to feel his lips against hers again. She had already gone too long without him. He was like her drug and now that she had tasted it again, she didn't want to stop. She guided his head back to hers, kissing him sweetly for a few moments longer. Knowing she had to stop things before they got too far and she did something stupid like throw herself into his arms and scream that she loved him, she slid her hands down to his chest and pushed him back slightly. As he pulled his head back, Happy followed his lips with her own, wanting to extend the kiss just a second longer. When their lips finally separated, Happy kept her eyes closed as she pressed her forehead to his, letting her hands rest on his chest, right over his fast beating heart. 

They stayed like this, heads pressed together, eyes closed, enjoying the moment. Their breaths mingled as they breathed each other in, extending the moment for as long as they could. Toby ran his hands up and down Happy's back, loving the feeling of her underneath his hands. Finally, Happy leaned her head back against the wall. When Toby opened his eyes, he was met with a grin on her face.

"Wow," was all Toby could say, a matching grin on his face. He leaned in to kiss her gently, already needing to do it again. "That was perfect," he whispered when he pulled back. He leaned an arm on the wall above her head, while his other hand pushed hair off her forehead. 

Happy didn't say anything. Instead, she bit her bottom lip again and moved to cup his cheeks. She rose on the tips of her toes to press a soft kiss to his lips.

"Was kissing you always like this? Intense and powerful and amazing," Toby mused, almost to himself. 

Happy nodded and quietly answered, "Always."

Toby sighed, almost sadly.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Happy asked gently. 

"I just can't believe I don't remember that. There's so much I wish I could remember. You and everything we did together being the one thing I want back more than anything."

She tried to reassure him, "It's starting to come back. You had a memory today. Don't get upset about something we can't change. We're going to create more memories, so let's just be happy with that for now."

Toby leaned down to kiss her, unable to help himself, "I guess you're right. There's no use in wallowing about something all over again." He smiled brightly, "I really did enjoy that, Hap. You're unbelievable."

Happy blushed, but didn't respond. It was at that moment that Toby knew he'd do anything to see her like this again - happy, content, relaxed, and a little embarrassed; to him she was perfect. Happy looked down and fiddled with her fingers for a second. She felt Toby shift. When she looked up, he was still there, even closer, if that was possible. He shifted to lean against her, his arm so close to her head that with a turn she could press her lips to his bicep, his head to close to hers, she just had to extend her neck to have his lips on hers again. So she did, because she could now. She no longer had to stop herself from wanting him, from kissing him. 

Happy didn't know how long they stood there, kissing slowly, hands wandering, reacquainting themselves with each other. But eventually, she pulled back and pushed off the wall. 

"We should get back down there," she said almost regretfully. 

Toby kissed the side of her head, "Yeah, I need to apologize to the team. I was pretty rude and you didn't see half of it."

Happy widened her eyes, "Really? What did you do?"

He shook his head, "Don't ask."

Happy giggled. 

"Do that again," Toby said. 

She looked at him, confused by what he wanted.

"Giggle, laugh, be happy. Just do it all again."

Happy smiled shyly at him, "I'm trying. But there hasn't been too much to smile about lately."

Tony grinned at her, "Until now."

Her smiled grew, "Until now."

"Does this mean I get to kiss you whenever I want to?" He waggled his eyebrows at her. 

Happy rolled her eyes, but grabbed his shirt, pulling him down to her. She kissed him long and languidly. "Does that answer your question?" she asked breathily when she pulled back. He nodded and she pressed her lips to his one more time before stepping away. 

"That's a yes." He leaned down so his mouth was close to her stomach, "Did you hear that baby? Mommy said daddy could kiss her whenever he wanted to."

She laughed and pushed his head away, "I did not."

"Yes, you did," he retorted, leaning in to peck her on the lips again. 

"Whatever."

He leaned back down to her stomach, "See? I told you."

"You're so weird," Happy laughed. 

Toby grinned and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her to his side. He kissed the top of her head, "Yeah, but that's okay."

Happy smiled and leaned into his side. She turned her head and took in his comforting smell; she had Toby back. And this time together on the roof, while it started off rough, turned into something perfect. Here she was, back in his arms. It was everything she wanted. But something felt different, almost wrong, and she couldn't quite place a finger on what it was. She almost felt unsure. She still loved Toby with everything in her, but something just wasn't right. It didn't feel the same to be wrapped up in his arms, the feelings had changed between them. She furrowed her brow, not liking the direction her thoughts were going. She turned her head to look up Toby. He smiled down at her and that quieted her thoughts. She didn't know what was causing these weird feelings, but she wasn't going to dwell on it. Not right now at least. Instead, she was going to let herself be happy. 

They made their way downstairs, Toby's arm wrapped around her. Before, this wouldn't have happened. Happy would've pulled away the second they were on the stairs. But that was then, back when she thought she and Toby would have millions more moments together. And this was now, where she knew how fragile their lives were. Everything could change in a second. She wanted to make as many memories as she could, be with him in any capacity now. So she let him keep her close.

As they reached the bottom of the steps, they heard a loud squeal. Then Paige came running at them, arms opened wide. 

"Guys," she cried wrapping them in a hug, "I'm so happy for you two!"

Toby quirked his eyebrows at her, as Happy gave her a side eye. 

"I know what happened on that roof," she beamed. 

"Spying on us again, Dineen?" Happy asked. 

Paige shook her head, "As a matter of fact, no. Walter and Cabe needed medical attention, so Sylvester went upstairs to get you Toby. Just a couple seconds later, he came rushing back down, disgusted by what he saw and told us what was going on."

Toby laughed loudly. Happy blushed and turned her head into his chest. 

"Don't be embarrassed," Paige said, "I think it's wonderful. I knew you two would end up fine. And now you have everything back and you're expecting the baby. Everything's perfect. It's like one of those cheesy Rom- Coms that Toby secretly loves."

Happy sent a glare towards Paige, "Just announce I'm pregnant, why don't you?"

Paige rolled her eyes, "Don't worry, no one else is here. Walter and Cabe went to the hospital and Sly went to get lunch. Tell me everything. Are you two officially back together?"

Toby tightened his grip on her and chuckled, "I'm not sure if we really ever weren't together. I know things were weird, especially at first, but I knew from the start that she was more than a friend to me. And now, now I'm learning to love her all over again."

And that was it. That was what her ill feelings from earlier were stemming from. Toby didn't love her like he used to. She stiffened in his arms. 

Toby looked down at her and kissed her forehead, "We're happy, right babe?"

Happy forced a smile on her face, "Right."

She raised up to kiss Toby, hoping it would be enough to distract her from these thoughts again. But she was wrong. Her mind started worry at full speed as Toby went on talking to Paige. 

Before, Toby had loved her with everything in him, way before she realized the depths of her feelings for him. But now, it was reversed. He didn't yet look at her with the all consuming love she knew he used to have. But she did. She still loved Toby with the same fire and passion she had before, but he couldn't remember that. His feelings didn't run as deep as hers and that's what was wrong. That's why Happy felt so unsteady. There was still a chance that Toby would never return her love the way she did. There was still a chance Toby could leave and never come back. Before, she knew that would never happen. He would never do that to her, because he loved her with everything in him. He had told her endlessly that if she wasn't in his life, his life would be empty; he had learned how to live again because of her. 

But now that their situation had changed, Happy hated what she had put Toby through - the uncertainty, the fears. It was what she was experiencing now. One wrong move and he could leave at the drop of a hat and that thought, that fear, crippled Happy. 

She tried to tell herself it was stupid, that this Toby still would never do that to her. She tried to push it aside and bask in the glow of finally having him back with her. And most of the time she could. She could focus on the here and now with Toby, let the good feelings wash over her. They were finding their way back to each other. But at times, when the silence surrounded her, she couldn't stop her thoughts from wandering and that fear would come back full force. It would take everything in her to push it back and pretend everything was okay - a look, just a glance, from Toby normally helped. It reminded her of who he was and why she loved him. She knew, deep inside, that they would be alright. She just had to work through this fear herself first.


	7. Uncertainty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy works through her fears and tries to make difficult decisions; Toby and Happy have a health scare and they get news about their baby.

Happy rolled over, stealing a glance at the clock. She sighed. She had been laying in bed for over an hour trying to get to sleep. Her mind was whirling, keeping her awake. It had been a week since she and Toby had kissed. A small smile grew on her face as she touched her lips, thinking of his mouth on hers. That week had been filled with impromptu make out sessions and wandering hands; Happy felt like a teenager all over again. They would watch a movie, but within five minutes, be completely distracted by each other or they would be saying goodnight and one kiss would lead to a second which would lead to them falling on the couch, hands exploring. At work, Toby would come over to her workspace with that look in his eyes and Happy would drop whatever she was working on, letting him drag her to some hidden place in the garage with a grin on her lips. Once they were out of sight, they would come together with a smashing of lips and a flurry of hands, soft groans filling the space around them. Some time later, they would go back to their work, clothes a little rumpled, hair messy, sometimes a few new bruises on their skin, and a large grin on their faces. 

But Happy never let it go any farther than kissing. Sure, she'd let Toby slide his hands under her shirt or unbutton the front of her pants, but the second he made a move to take off the offending clothing, she pulled back, scared to go any further. Toby never said anything, but she could tell from the look in his eyes that he was confused, wondering if it was something he had done. And it wasn't, at least not directly. 

She was still plagued with worry that Toby would never love her the way he used to, the way she loved him. And part of her, although she knew it was illogical because she would be devastated if he left again, thought that if she held off, didn't let herself connect with him again in the way she most wanted to, then it wouldn't hurt so bad when he left. She tried to tell herself that Toby wasn't going to leave, that he would one day love her like he once had, but it didn't stop the doubts from creeping back in. She couldn't let herself get even more attached until she knew it was safe, that he wouldn't leave her again, like he had when he got hurt. 

Happy sighed and played with the ring she still wore on her finger. She knew she wasn't being fair to Toby. He didn't deserve to be treated like this. He didn't go out and purposefully leave her, he was still here, even if he wasn't the same. She knew some circumstances were out of their control, but because of that, she would try to control what she could. Hence why she wouldn't go further with Toby until she could get over the fear of thinking he would someday leave her or never love her. 

She looked at her hand, more specifically the ring. She didn't know why she still wore it. They couldn't be engaged anymore, even if they were coming back to one another. Maybe that was part of the problem; she still held out hope that everything would go back to how it was. That's what that ring symbolized - a promise that he would always love her for the rest of his life. Happy sat up suddenly, she had a thought. Maybe if she took off the ring, didn't see the constant reminder of what she used to have, she wouldn't compare what they had now to what they used to have; start new, start fresh. She laid back down, that thought made her sick to her stomach. A sharp laugh broke through the silence of the room. She was being ridiculous, it was just a ring, she could take it off, so what if it was a symbol of the only time she let herself truly believe in a person, believe that something other than a tool wouldn't let her down, let herself be truly happy for once. It had to be done, it was just a piece of metal. She did harder things with metal everyday. She could do this. 

Sitting up again, Happy reached for the ring. She began sliding it off her finger, but had to stop halfway. Tears filled her eyes, as her hands started trembling. Biting her lip, she cursed at herself. She had to do this. What was the point of this ring if it didn't mean anything anymore? They weren't engaged, they weren't getting married. She thought she had accepted that. With a deep breath, she pulled the ring completely off and set it down on the bedside table. Her hand felt bare, empty, like she had when Toby said he couldn't remember her. She glanced down at her shaking hand and panic filled her; she couldn't breath, she couldn't see straight, she felt like she was drowning, a few tears slipped out of the corners of her eyes. Without looking, her hand shot out and she grabbed the ring, sliding it back on her finger. She immediately calmed down. Flopping back down on the bed, she cursed herself again. She was so weak, she couldn't even keep the ring off for a minute, how was she supposed to do that permanently?

Playing with the ring, she felt herself start to drift off to sleep. Realization came over her, she wasn't ready yet, as much as she hated to admit it. There would be a day when she could take it off and let everything fall into place after that, but that day was not then. Toby never said anything about it, so she assumed it didn't bother him. So for now, it would stay. She would just have to find another way to work out her fears. 

Just as she was falling asleep, a scream filled the apartment. Happy shot up from bed, not sure what was going on. She cautiously opened her door, then heard what sounded like a cry coming from Toby's room. Quickly making her way to his room, she threw the door open and saw Toby thrashing on the bed, yelling out. 

"No, don't go. No, stop!"

He was having bad dream. Happy's heart broke for him. She had never seen him like this. He never had bad dreams; normally it was her that needed comforting after a bad dream. She walked over to the side of the bed, careful of his sudden, jerky movement. She reached out and shook his shoulder 

"Toby. Hey, Tobes," she whispered gently. He didn't wake, so she rose her voice, "Toby, baby, wake up." 

"Stop it! No, don't!" he continued to mumble.

Happy ran her hand down his face, "Doc, you have to wake up. It's just a dream."

Toby's eyes flew open in panic, breathing heavily. He locked his gaze on Happy, then reached out, pulling her to him forcefully. He wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his head on her stomach. 

"Thank god, you're here, Hap," he whispered haggardly, hugging her tight. 

Happy rested her hands on his head, letting her fingers run through his hair, "Shh, Toby. You're fine. It was just a dream." She didn't know what to do or what to say, but she knew that he needed her at that moment, so she stood there, letting him hang on to her. 

He squeezed her tighter, "Happy. It was bad. My mom-you-" he tried to choke out, but started shaking instead. 

Happy tried to step back, he was holding her tightly. His head flew up, eyes wide. 

"No," he cried out, "Don't leave me, Hap. Please stay."

She smiled gently at him, "I'm not, don't worry. She climbed over him onto the bed, sitting against the headboard, "I'll stay here at long as you need me to."

Toby rolled over, wrapping his arms around her waist, curling into her side. He laid his head on her lap. Happy held him, running her hands across his back and head, giving him time to calm down. Slowly, his breath started evening out and his shaking subsided, but his grip remained firm, not letting her go. 

"Want to tell me what happened?" Happy asked cautiously. 

Toby stiffened, but slowly relaxed. He started drawing patterns on her bare legs, "I dreamed of my mom."

She tangled her fingers in his hair, "And that's a bad thing?"

Toby shook his head, "Normally no, but this was different." He stopped, collecting his thoughts, trying to push back the panic threatening to come back out. A few minutes later, with Happy patiently waiting, Toby told her about the dream. 

"You'll probably think it's stupid," he began. 

Happy shook her head, "Never, Doc. Don't think like that." She leaned down to kiss his head. 

"I was sitting on the floor, probably about 5 years old, playing with my mom," he said quietly, letting the memory of the dream wash over him. "I was so happy, we were having such a great time. But then, without a word, she got up and started walking away." He shuddered, "I called after her, but she wasn't listening. My dad came out of nowhere and started yelling at me. Telling me she was never coming back and it was all my fault; she didn't love us enough to come back."

"Oh, Doc, you have to know that's not true," Happy said quietly. 

Toby ignored her and continued, "I finally got her to stop. I got up to run to her as she turned around, but when she faced me, she wasn't my mom, she was you. You didn't say anything, but just stared at me. Just as silently, you turned back around and walked away. I tried to call out to you, over my dad's screams, but you didn't come back."

"Toby, I'm here," she reassured him, "I'm not walking away. I would never do that to you."

Toby shifted to look up at her; she could tell he was going to push it aside, ignore it, "I know that, it was just a dream. It's fine. I don't even know why I was screaming like I was."

Happy knew he was just pretending he was fine, that the dream didn't affect him. But she didn't say anything. He would talk when he was ready, so she'd wait for him. She knew he'd talk eventually. 

Toby started chuckling to himself. Happy looked down at him, wondering what was so funny, especially after what had just happened. 

"You know you're not wearing pants?"

Happy blushed and looked down at the oversized shirt she was wearing, "No, I sort of forgot."

Toby sat up and looked her up and down, "You look hot." He shrugged, "But then again, I always think you look great, especially when you wear my clothes."

She avoided his gaze, but when she felt Toby shift closer, she looked up, a shy smile on her face. 

"You have to know how gorgeous you are. Didn't I ever tell you?" Toby looked surprised.

Her smile grew, "Yeah, you did, but you're biased."

He leaned in to kiss her gently, "I don't care, it's the truth." He cupped her face and kissed her again, "You better get used to hearing it."

Happy yawned loudly, "I should get to bed, if you're okay, I mean."

Toby was silent as he watched his hand trace patterns on her leg. He cleared his throat, "You, uh, you could sleep in here," he swallowed hard, "with me." He looked up, gazing into her eyes, a vulnerable look on his face, "I just really want you close right now. I want to hold you, if that's alright with you. After that dream, I-"

Happy interrupted him with a kiss, "I'll stay." She knew, even though he tried to hide it, that his mind was still thinking about his dream. 

His face broke out in a grin, "Really?"

She nodded and scooted down under the covers. As she laid down, she let out a moan, "God, I forgot how comfortable this bed was. I'm going to get the best night's sleep I've had since I moved to the other room."

Toby looked over at her concern on her face, "Is the bed uncomfortable in there?"

Happy shut her eyes in comfort and nodded, "The floor is more comfortable."

"Why didn't you tell me, Hap? I could've switched you beds. You shouldn't have had to deal with that."

Happy opened one eye and stared at him, "It's fine, I'm fine." She yawned again, "But I'm tired and you're keeping me up, so shh. Goodnight."

Toby laughed out loud, leaning over to kiss Happy one last time, he couldn't help himself. He slid in next to her, as she shifted to her side, eyes already closed. He wrapped his arm around her stomach, pulling her back flush with his front. He smiled when he heard her small sigh and she placed her hand on top of his. 

"Thanks for everything, Hap," he whispered into her ear.

"Anytime," she mumbled sleepily.

"'Night, sweetheart."

The next morning, Happy rolled over to her back and was immediately met with the warmth of Toby's body at her side. A small smile grew on her face. She had missed this, having his arms wrapped around her at night, his shallow breaths lulling her to sleep, the warmth from him blanketing her, making her feel safe and loved; just the feeling of him next to her, close to her. Before him, she could never share a bed, she never trusted anyone enough, loved them enough, to do that. But he had changed that. 

She opened her eyes and was met with his warm gaze looking down at her. He was on his side, propped up on his elbow. She smiled up at him, watching his smile light up his face.

"Hi," she whispered.

"Morning," he murmured back, reaching out with his free hand to run it over her stomach. 

Every time he did that, Happy fell in love with him a little more. He was so gentle and loving, caressing the spot where their baby grew. It was obvious that he loved this baby. She placed her hand over his, needing to share this moment with him. He shifted his gaze from her stomach to her face, locking eyes with her. Happy reached up with her free hand to cup his cheek. Then sliding her hand to the back of his heard, she pulled him down to her lips. It was a desperate, needy kiss. 

With a moan, Toby shifted, placing one of his legs between hers, pulling her closer to his body. He ran his hand down her body to her thigh and slowly started running it back up, pushing her shirt up to her ribs. Happy breathed his name, her eyes closing, body arching into him. He moved his lips down to her neck, softly kissing her there. His hand slid down to her hip and started rubbing circles on her bare skin with his thumb, sending shivers through Happy. Slowly, he moved down, placing kisses across her stomach, murmuring a hello to her bump. Happy let out a loud moan as Toby ran his hand down to her thigh. Shifting again, he placed light kisses on her thighs, fingers teasing the waistband of her panties. Happy threaded her fingers through his hair, pulling at his head, bringing him back up to kiss him deeply. His hands caressed up her sides to her face, cupping her head gently. Moving her hands to his chest, she slowed the kiss.

"Wait?" she gasped, pushing him back slightly. 

"What?" he asked breathlessly, confused and wanting to continue. 

Happy reached up and ran a hand down his face, "I'm worried about you. Are you okay?"

Toby rolled off her and sat up against headboard. "So far this morning has been the best one I've had since I got hurt," he said saucily, waggling his eyebrows. 

Happy rolled her eyes and scooted up to sit against headboard too, "You know what I'm talking about Doc."

Toby's smile dropped and he sighed heavily, "Yeah, I know. I think I'm okay. I'm pretty sure my subconscious was trying to talk to me last night."

Happy gave him a questioning look, so he continued. 

"I've never had people stick around in my life and my subconscious was trying to remind me of that last night, I think. Things have been going so well for us and I guess I'm waiting for something to go wrong." 

Happy looked concerned, "Why are you dreaming now? In all the time we've been together, you've never had a dream like that. You've had bad dreams, but never one that's made you act like you did last night."

Toby thought about this for a second, "I think it's because the only memories I have are of my childhood. So I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Whereas before, so much time had passed that it wasn't always on my mind. I had other, better memories to replace it." He smiled and took her hand, "You being here with me makes me think I'll be fine though."

She scooted over, curling up on his chest, "I'm not leaving unless you tell me to, Toby."

Toby leaned down and kissed the top of her head, running his hand through her hair and down her back, "Yeah, I know that. And the same goes for me, Hap. I'm sticking around. You and the baby aren't getting rid of me."

Happy didn't respond. Instead, she just buried her face further into his chest, hoping that was the truth. But once again, she couldn't help but worry that Toby would realize he could do so much better than her and leave, just like everyone else she had ever loved had done in her life. It was the same worry that had bothered her ever since they had started growing closer again. 

They laid there silently for a few minutes - Happy not wanting to talk, too busy worrying, and Toby just content to hold her. She felt his hand on her back, gently tracing patterns. It sent shivers up and down her spine. His other hand started working its way towards her stomach, brushing her arm and ribs. Happy knew what he was doing. He wanted to get back to what she had stopped earlier. But she was still bothered by her thoughts, so before he could get carried away and distract her, she sighed and sat up, hair falling in her face. He pushed the hair out of the way, then cupping the back of her head, he pulled her to him, kissing her gently. Before he could deepen it, though, Happy pulled back and got off the bed. 

"We have to get ready for work," she said as an explanation to Toby's pout. "Get a shower while I make breakfast." Her hand flew to her mouth, "On second thought," she muttered running to the bathroom. 

Toby walked into the bathroom after her. He rubbed her back sympathetically, "I thought you weren't getting sick anymore."

Happy glared up at him and flushed the toilet, "I'm not getting sick everyday anymore. The doctor said I could still get nauseous up until week 20. But I'm hoping it'll stop before then. I can't take another four weeks of this." She leaned up against the sink, waiting to see if she would get sick again. 

Toby leaned down to kiss the top of her head, "You get cleaned up and I'll go make breakfast. I know you, you'll be starving by the time you're ready."

Happy laughed, "I would argue, but it's true. This kid of yours needs a lot to eat."

He smiled down at her, "This baby takes after you then, babe," he joked, "You're the one who loves to eat."

Happy shoved him playfully, "Just go."

He smirked and kissed her head again, "Anything for you, sweet cheeks."

Happy groaned, "Oh my god, you still use those cheesy nicknames. I thought I had finally escaped that." She pretended she hated them, but secretly, it made her so happy to hear him call her by a nickname. It was almost like before...almost. 

Toby grinned at her, "You love them, bunny."

"Whatever," she said, while rolling her eyes, "Now go."

"Yes dear."

Happy threw a towel at his laughing, retreating figure. She grinned, this was how they had always been. She was glad they were getting back there. The fear she felt earlier was pushed down, almost out of mind. 

Another week had passed and they were continuing to grow closer. Toby had convinced Happy to sleep with him every night since he had the dream. The first couple nights, Happy protested, but he could see the longing in her eyes before she finally agreed. The rest of the time, she just agreed happily. Now, he didn't even have to ask her. He just had to grab her hand and they'd walk to the bedroom together. More of her things started popping up around the room and master bath too. That brought a smile to Toby's face whenever he saw it. 

At night, they would get ready for bed together like they'd been doing it for years, passing the toothpaste without a question or handing over a towel, all while sharing smiles and laughs. Then they would settle in bed either with a book or a laptop or watching tv. But it never failed, after ten minutes and looks from the corners of their eyes and a brush of fingers on an arm, they abandoned whatever they were doing and found themselves on top of one another, pressed together, sharing slow, lazy kisses. But before they completely lost themselves in one another, Happy would pull back, saying she was tired. Toby never complained. Instead, he smiled and either curled around her back or pulled her onto his chest, happy to simply be holding her. And every morning, Happy would wake before Toby and get out of bed, or they'd wake at the same time, Toby would pull her close and she'd give him a kiss, but then untangle herself from him and leave the bed. Toby knew it was because she didn't want to carried away like they had the first morning, but he didn't know why. 

Toby sighed heavily as he thought of that morning in particular. He had woken before Happy for once and was laying there, watching her sleep in his arms. It was perfect, everything he had ever wanted. She woke and rolled over, stretching while giving him a sleepy smile. Her hand went up to his face and she leaned up to kiss him gently. Before he had known it, he was on his back and she was straddling him, kissing his neck and chest. He moaned and ran his hands down her back. But the second they grazed her butt, Happy stiffened. She placed one more kiss on his lips, then climbed off, whispering a good morning. Toby wanted to yell in frustration. Why wouldn't she just talk to him? 

A little groan by his ear had him dragging his thoughts away from that morning. He looked down and smiled, Happy was asleep on his shoulder, one arm wrapped around his waist. He had his arm around her shoulders protectively. They were in the van on their way back from a case, where they had been out in the desert for over 9 hours, tracking via sound waves, a group of drug runners coming up from Mexico. Toby had tried to convince Happy to stay behind at the garage, given her situation, but Happy, once again, ignored him. 

"Toby," Happy whispered groggily, "I don't feel well."

Toby pushed her up so he could look at her, "What's wrong?"

She blinked slowly before responding, "I just feel like I'm going to get sick. And my head's in a cloud."

"Did you drink water out there?"

Happy rolled her eyes. "Of course I did, numbnuts, I'm not stupid," she said harshly. 

"Put the claws away Happy, I'm just checking. It's easy to get dehydrated," he lowered his voice and looked around, making sure no one was paying attention, "especially now."

Happy laid her head back down, closing her eyes, and grumbled, "Well I did, a lot."

"Okay, maybe you're tired or getting sick," he said running his hand down her arm, "Just take it easy. And if something feels wrong, tell me immediately."

She nodded in agreement and promptly fell back asleep. It worried Toby when Happy acted like this. If it were up to him, he would keep Happy, and the baby, when it was born, tucked away from the rest of the world where they couldn't get hurt or sick. But Happy would never let him do that, she was too independent.

Awhile later, they arrived at the garage. Toby gently shook Happy to wake her up. 

"Hey, Hap. Baby, we're back. It's time to wake up," he kissed her forehead. 

Happy opened her eyes and looked around the van and saw the garage outside, "Why are we here? I thought we had a case."

Toby furrowed his brow, "We just finished the case, Hap."

"Oh, right," Happy said through a yawn, "Sorry. I'm still tired and not thinking too clearly."

"Do you want to go home?" Toby asked, brushing the hair off her face. 

She shook her head, "No, I'm okay."

Toby sighed, wishing she wouldn't be so stubborn, but got out of the van anyway. He turned around to help Happy, but as she stepped out, she lost her balance and fell into Toby, who caught her easily. 

"Happy, I'm worried. This isn't normal. Let me check you out at least, since I know you won't go to the hospital. You have a headache, you're tired and confused, not to mention more irritable than normal, and you're dizzy. Those are all signs of dehydration."

Happy glared at him. "I'm fine, Doc," she said sharply, "Like I said, I'm tired. The case and the baby have just drained my energy. And I didn't get much sleep last night. So just back off and leave me alone." She pushed past him, heading for the garage. 

Toby didn't call after her or try to stop her. He knew it was a losing battle. He sighed and made his way inside. At least there he could keep an eye on her, even if she didn't want it. He looked for Happy when he walked in, but she was already in her workspace. So he went to his space and started looking through his medical journals, just on the off chance something was seriously wrong with Happy. 

Suddenly, a loud clatter rang throughout the garage, like Happy had dropped a tool, which Toby found strange. Happy treated her tools like they were her babies. He furrowed his brow. 

"Toby!" a loud, sharp yell came from her workspace. 

Toby immediately dropped the book in his hands and ran over to where he knew she was. The sight that met his eyes made his heart drop; Happy was buckled over at the waist, one hand pressed against her stomach, the other on the desk beside her keeping her upright. 

"What's wrong, baby?" Toby asked, panic in his voice, rushing over to her side. 

Happy shook her head and bit her lip, tears forming in her eyes. "I don't know," she whispered. Toby could tell she was scared. "It just hurts, like a sharp knife in my stomach. It's like a really bad cramp." She tried to take a deep breath to steady herself, but that just made her wince more. 

"When did this start?" he asked, running his hands over her stomach, hoping something would give him a clue as to what was happening. 

"I don't know. I felt weird in the car, but I thought I was just tired. The pain started right before I called for you."

"Cabe," Toby shouted through the garage, "I need you to take us to the ER, stat."

Cabe came rushing towards them, "Of course," he said, pulling out his keys, "What's going on?"

Toby started leading Happy forward, but she bent in pain, "Something's wrong with Happy. We need to get her checked out and fast."

At hearing this, Walter came sauntering over, as did Sly and Paige. When Walter saw Happy bent over, he spoke up, "It's probably just menstrual cramps," he shrugged, "Many females get them. Sometimes the pain is so severe that women can't move."

"It's not that," Happy said through gritted teeth, annoyed that Walter was slowing them down. 

Toby rubbed her back. They both were scared to death, but they had to stay calm. 

"Well how can we be sure? Paige is on her cycle right now and women in close proximity to each other sync up."

Paige looked mortified as she hit Walter's arm. 

Happy was growing angry, she needed to get to the hospital, but Walter was getting in the way. "I know it's not that," she snarked, "Now let's go, Doc."

Toby wrapped his arm around her back, supporting her, gesturing to Cabe to get moving. 

But Walter had to be right, "But Happy, do you really need to go? Are you sure it's nothing like cramps?"

"Pretty damn sure, O'Brien."

"But how?"

Happy glared at him, "Because I'm pregnant you idiot!" she yelled, "Now something's wrong and I have to get to the hospital."

At her announcement, Paige broke into a huge grin, whispering a "finally", and hugged Sly, who looked excited himself. Walter stood there, shocked by what he had just learned. And Cabe started running to the door, understanding the urgency now. Toby was helping Happy walk, but it was taking too long, so he placed an arm under her legs and lifted her. He knew she was in pain when she didn't even argue. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder, hiding the tears starting to leak out from the corner of her eyes. She let out a little whimper as he placed her in the car, which broke Toby's heart. He didn't know what they would do if something serious was wrong. He swallowed hard, choosing to believe she, and the baby, would be okay. 

Cabe broke every law driving them to the hospital, making it in record time. Toby rushed Happy inside, where they carted her off for tests, not allowing Toby to go with her. It had been an hour since then and no one had given him an update. He was pacing around the waiting room, trying to stay calm; praying they would tell him what was going on before he started yelling. Cabe had stayed with him, asking him a few questions about the baby, but that just made Toby more anxious. He sank into a seat, placing his head in his shaking hands. 

"Family of Quinn," a nurse announced finally. 

Toby shot up out of the seat, running over to her, "That's me."

"Name?"

"Toby Curtis, Happy, she's my, uh, she's my fiancée."

The nurse nodded, "Follow me please. She's in room 115."

Toby wanted to demand answers, but he was scared of what they were. So he followed her quietly. When they reached Happy's room, Toby pushed past the nurse and ran to her bedside, taking her hand in his. She opened her eyes from where she was snoozing and gave him a small smile. Toby leaned down to kiss her forehead, then took a seat. He didn't even acknowledge the nurse when she told them the doctor would be there soon. 

"How's the baby?" he asked quietly, placing a hand on her stomach. 

Happy smiled, "The baby's fine."

Toby sighed as relief rushed through him, "Oh thank god. And you? Are you fine?"

She nodded, "Dehydration, like you said earlier. They've hooked me up to a saline IV to pump fluids back into my body. I guess it's fairly common for pregnant women to get dehydrated more easily." She blinked back tears and tightened her grip on his hand, "I feel like an idiot, Doc. I could've prevented this. What if something had happen to the baby? I never would've forgiven myself."

Toby reached up and brushed the tears off her cheeks, "But nothing did happen, babe. Everything's going to be fine."

All of a sudden, sobs shook Happy's shoulders, "I shouldn't have taken the chance. I shouldn't have been so stupid and stubborn," she struggled to get out. 

Toby couldn't have her beating herself up over this. There was plenty both of them could have done differently. Carefully, he sat on the bed next to Happy and pulled her to his chest. She fisted her hands in his shirt and buried her face in his chest, her tears soaking his shirt. 

"Shh, Hap. Everything's okay. You both are fine," he murmured, rocking her gently. 

Slowly Happy began to settle down and loosen her grip on Toby. Sniffling, she leaned back against the bed, exhausted. Toby didn't move; he needed to be by her for his own sake. He had been so scared that something terrible was going to happen, that now she didn't want to let her go. 

"I'm sorry, Tobes," she whispered hoarsely. 

Toby kissed the side of her head, "There's nothing to be sorry about."

Happy leaned into his side and closed her eyes, Toby pulling her close. They sat like that until the doctor stopped in ten minutes later. 

"How are you feeling?" the doctor asked as she came into the room, rolling a machine behind her. 

"Better now," Happy admitted, smiling sheepishly. 

Toby squeezed her hand as he moved off the bed. 

"No more headache or pain in your stomach?"

"Nope, I'm just tired, that's it."

"Good." She glanced sympathetically at Happy and then Toby, "Something like that can be very scary. I want to keep you here over night, just to keep an eye on you both."

Happy nodded silently. 

The doctor smiled, "How would you two like to see your little one?"

Toby and Happy shared a smile. 

"We were able to listen to the heartbeat earlier," she continued, "but I want to make sure that everything looks okay."

Happy nodded again, "We'd like that."

The doctor set everything up and started moving the wand across Happy's stomach, looking for the baby. Toby's eyes were locked on the screen, his thumb rubbing the back of Happy's hand. He had a small, tender smile on his face as he watched. And Happy was looking at Toby, unable to tear her gaze away. 

"And there we go," the doctor said with a smile. She pressed a few buttons, printing out pictures for them. "See that thing that looks like it's fluttering?" she asked, pointing to a spot on the screen, "That's your baby's heart beating." She moved the wand again, "And here is the baby's face. Everything looks good there."

"Happy," Toby whispered, "It's so perfect."

Happy squeezed his hand, unable to say anything. He was right, he or she was perfect. 

"Two arms and two legs," the doctor murmured. She spent a few more minutes looking around, printing off pictures and nodding to herself.

Neither Toby nor Happy we're paying attention to what she was saying though, they were too awestruck by the sight in front of them to do anything but hold each other's hands tightly. Toby brought Happy's hand to his mouth, kissing the back of her hand gently. 

"Ah," the doctor said suddenly, "It looks like your little one is in the prime position to tell us if it's a he or she. Would you guys like to know?" She looked at them expectantly. 

Toby looked over at Happy, an excited look on his face, "It's your choice. Whatever you want."

Happy bit her lip. She turned to the doctor and a grin broke out on her face, "Yeah, we'd really like to know." She pulled at Toby until he moved to sit on the bed next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. He turned his head to kiss the side of hers. Happy glanced up at him nervously, but his smile immediately calmed her. 

"It's not too early?" Toby asked.

The doctor shook her head, "It might seem like it, but gender can be determined accurately this early, especially in the position your baby's in right now."

Toby turned to Happy and spoke quickly, "I'm nervous right now. Are you nervous?"

Happy nodded, then turned back to the doctor, anxious to hear what they were going to have. She had never even thought about it; as long as the baby was growing, she was happy. But now that she was given the choice, she couldn't wait - she wanted to know. 

"Alright," the doctor smiled, "Congratulations Mom and Dad, you two are going to have a beautiful baby girl."

Happy's jaw dropped and her eyes grew wide, "No way," she managed to get out. 

Toby started laughing, throwing his head back against the bed. "God, I'm so excited. A little girl to spoil." He grinned and leaned in to kiss Happy, who had finally shut her mouth. 

Happy didn't say anything when he pulled back. Instead she had a small smile on her face, but he could tell she was far away, thinking about something else. He turned to the doctor, who was holding out the sonogram pictures. 

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" she asked him. 

He shook his head, "No, thank you. You've done more than enough."

She nodded and got up, "Alright. I'll leave you two be then. I'll be back later to check in on you."

Toby murmured his thanks, then turned back to Happy. She was staring out the window, still not having said much. 

"Can you believe it? We're having a girl," Toby said excitedly. He had secretly been hoping for one that he could spoil in all the ways he knew Happy would never let him spoil her. 

"A girl," Happy repeated, almost to herself.

"Aren't you excited?" he asked, surprised at her lack of enthusiasm. 

"Yeah, I am," she said quietly, her thoughts preoccupied. 

Toby cupped her face, "Is something wrong? I thought you'd be more excited."

Happy smiled brightly as she placed her hand over his, "I am. I'm so excited, I promise. I just-"

She was interrupted by a knock on the door. They turned to look and saw Paige leading the rest of team Scorpion into the room.

"Hey guys," Paige said cautiously, "How's everything going?"

Toby started to slide off the bed, knowing how Happy was, but she surprised him. She placed a hand on his arm, asking him silently to stay next to her, to hold her close. He smiled and did just that. 

Happy turned towards Paige, "Everything's good. The baby's good. I'm good."

Paige sighed in relief and reached out to hug them both, "I'm so glad." She laughed, "Smooth move announcing you were pregnant, by the way."

Happy rolled her eyes and laughed, "Yeah, that didn't go like I wanted it to."

"I'm sorry if I overstepped, Happy," Walter spoke up, a slight blush to his cheeks, "I am very glad that you're okay. And uh, congratulations to you both."

Toby beamed, "Thanks buddy."

Happy smirked, "Uh, yeah. Thanks."

"I am looking forward to this baby," Walter continued, "This allows for Scorpion to continue once we are gone. Your child, along with Ralph, will be able to take over for us. I do wonder what your child will be skilled at. That is something we will have to test. I know-"

"Whoa," Toby said, holding up his hands, "You are not using our child as an experiment. She will be able to do whatever she wants. None of us are going to pressure her into being something she doesn't want to be."

Before Walter could respond, Cabe spoke up, "Did you say she? Are you guys having a girl?"

Happy swore she saw Toby puff up his chest before he responded with an enthusiastic "yes". She just rolled her eyes as she told him to settle down. 

Cabe got a little misty eyed, "Little girls are precious," he looked to Paige and added, "as are boys, I'm sure." He cleared his throat, "You two are going to be great parents, I have no doubt. I hope you don't mind, but I went out and bought her something." He reached into a bag they hadn't noticed he was holding. Out he pulled a small half bunny, half blanket lovey. It was yellow and had big floppy ears. "My daughter," his voice caught. He cleared his throat again, "Uh, my daughter had one just like this. She would carry that thing everywhere. I thought your baby might like it too."

Cabe handed it to Happy, who held it close. Toby could see her fighting back tears. He got off the bed and hugged Cabe. 

"Thank you," he whispered to the older gentleman. 

Cabe just smiled. 

"Cabe, this is amazing," Happy spoke up, "Thank you so much."

He stepped back, sitting in a chair at the end of the bed, "Alright, alright. That's enough now," he tried to say firmly. The rest of the team, just laughed. 

"I've already started researching the best things to baby proof the garage. There are at lot of options, but I won't stop until I've throughly looked into them all," Sylvester said excitedly. "I've even figured out the best place to put a play area where she can be seen from everywhere in the garage. It'll take some minor renovations, but we can easily handle it."

"And now I can finally give you the stuff I've picked up for the baby," Paige spoke up, "You should see some of this stuff. Things have changed so much since Ralph was born."

"Oh, boy," Happy said sarcastically, leaning her head on Toby's shoulder. 

"Roll your eyes all you want," Paige said, "but trust me, this baby is going to come faster than you think and you'll be glad I've started buying things."

Toby patted Happy's leg to keep her from saying anything else. "I'm sure you're right," he conceded, "Thank you. We really do appreciate it." 

"Here," Walter said, shoving a gift bag into Toby's chest. 

Toby took it from him with questioning eyes. Happy looked at him and the gift suspiciously. 

"What is this, Walt?" Toby asked slowly. 

Walter gave him an "are you an idiot" look. "It's a gift."

"I can see that, but you don't normally do this type of thing."

Walter glanced over at Paige, "Paige thought it might be a good idea if the team gave you a gift. And I agreed. This baby may cause unforeseen complications, but it's yours. And you two are my friends, so I have to let you do what you're going to and support that."

Happy leaned forward and if looks could kill, Walter would be dead, "Unforeseen complications? What the hell, Walter?"

Walter was taken aback, "Well you won't be able to work to your full ability until the baby is born and then after, I'm quite certain that you will put her first and won't take the chances I need you to take anymore."

"So I'm here in the hospital because I wasn't working at my 'full ability' and putting myself at risk?" Happy seethed. 

"Well, if we had done this case a year ago, the chances of you-"

Toby had to hold Happy back from jumping out of the bed. "You've crossed the line Walter," he said quietly, "You're right, the baby changes things, but if you think for one second we won't do our jobs to the best of our ability, then you're not the genius you think you are. I may not remember what I was like before, but I have been able to tell that every single person on this team, including myself, will do just about anything for you and team Scorpion, regardless of circumstances. That's what makes us so great and why I've learned to love working with you guys. But if you insult Happy or the baby again, even suggest that she isn't doing everything she possibly can, I'm out of here. I won't let you belittle us just because we do things differently than you."

Walter didn't say anything as Paige pulled him back to the opposite side of the room. Toby forced a smile onto his face. He handed Happy the gift bag and squeezed her leg. 

"Alright. How about we get back to where we were?" Toby tried to say brightly. 

Happy gave him a small smile then started pulling out tissue paper. She laughed lightly when she saw was inside. She pulled it out and showed it to Toby, who started laughing himself. It was a onesie with the word Scorpling on the front. 

"This is great guys. Thank you," she said, placing it back in the bag. 

The rest of the team smiled at them. They stayed for another hour, visiting and laughing. Walter's mishap seemingly forgotten. 

"I think we should get going," Paige whispered, looking at Happy. 

She had fallen asleep, leaning up against Toby. He turned and kissed the top of her head. 

"Thank you for coming," Toby smiled. 

"Congratulations, son," Cabe waved, "I'm glad that Happy and the baby are doing alright."

Paige hugged Toby, "Let me know if you need anything tonight."

Toby nodded. 

Sly came up and fist bumped Toby, "Congratulations. I'm going back to the garage to do more research. I'll keep you updated with what I find."

He chuckled, but his face dropped when Walter stopped by him. 

Walter shifted on his feet, "I'm sorry. Again. For what it's worth, I am happy for you two. I'm very glad that things are working out ." He glanced over his shoulder at Paige, "I've realized, sometimes it is okay to get close to people. Things aren't always planned and that's okay. You and Happy are invaluable to Scorpion and things would not be as efficient if you weren't on the team. I will adjust to the idea of the baby, because you're right, you two will always try your best."

Toby shook his hand, "Thanks buddy, because buddy I did not want to leave. It would be like leaving my family," he looked down at Happy lovingly, "and that's something I never want to do."

After the team left, Toby shifted, pulling Happy closer to him. She curled into his side, nuzzling her face into his chest. Slowly, Toby started running his hand up and down her arm. It was comforting, being this close to her. He kissed the top of her head, shuddering at the thought that something could've gone way worse today. He closed his eyes as the pain he felt just thinking about losing them washed through him. But that wasn't the case. Happy was here with him. Their baby, a girl, was still with them. Everything was perfect. He smiled. 

Happy curled in tighter to his chest, grabbing his shirt with one hand. 

"A girl," she mumbled in her sleep. 

Toby looked down at her. He was still puzzled by her reaction from earlier. He knew how much she already loved the baby, so he knew it wasn't doubts. But he didn't know what it was. It was such a strange reaction that she had. He closed his eyes, sleep pulling at him. He would just have to ask Happy about it tomorrow. This list of things he was left wondering about was growing. 

Toby had wanted to talk about Happy's strange behavior when they woke up in the morning, but before he could get out his questions, the doctor had entered, checking Happy and the baby one more time. She said that they could go home and after that, it was a whirlwind of instructions and signing papers. By the time they had returned home and ate their lunch, Happy was ready for a nap. Toby sighed. It looked like he wasn't getting any answers anytime soon. 

A little while later, Toby walked into the living room. He smiled when he Happy standing by a window, looking at something in her hands. He smiled when he saw what it was - the sonogram from the day before. 

"It's pretty amazing, isn't it," Toby said stepping up behind her. He wrapped his hands around her waist, brushing her ever growing bump, and leaned down to kiss her neck. 

Happy sighed and relaxed back against him, as he rested his chin on her shoulder. 

"Yeah, it is," she murmured distractedly. 

He reached out and took the sonogram from her, "This is our baby," he said in awe, "Can you believe we're going to have a little girl?"

She bit her lip and shook her head, "I'm still trying to wrap my brain around that one," she admitted, turning in his arms and burying her face in his chest. 

Toby rubbed her back, "Hey, what's wrong? Are you regretting this?"

Happy looked up at him, "No, never. I just," she sighed, "I'm just a little nervous. Yet another thing to add to my list of fears."

Toby smoothed her hair down, "We'll get back to that statement later. But why are you nervous?"

"Our whole lives are about to change," she whispered. 

He smiled gently at her, "Yes, they are. But it's going to become even better. Is that what you're worried about? Because I promise you, I will do everything I can to make this easier for you."

She shook her head, "That's not it. I'm okay with that, I think. I'm just now realizing I'm going to be a mom though."

"Well then what, sweetheart?"

Happy took a deep breath and placed her hands on her stomach, "She's a girl."

Toby chuckled, "Yes, we've been over that."

She blushed slightly, "I don't know what to do with a girl."

He furrowed his brow, "What do you mean? You are one."

She bit her lip, debating on if she should tell Toby what was going on in her head. She closed her eyes, "I never thought I'd have kids," she admitted, "but if the thought ever crossed my mind, I always thought I'd have a boy. Boys tend to like the things I do more than girls." She opened her eyes and asked him seriously, "What if she's super girly? I don't know anything about dresses and frills; I hate that stuff. I know machines and grease. That's what I'm good at."

Toby laughed, "That's why we have Paige to help us out."

Happy looked down, "I don't want someone else raising my child, Doc."

He grabbed her hands, "No one will, but you and me. You don't have to worry so much. Neither of us will know what to do at first, but as long as we love her and give her everything she needs, she'll turn out great." He cupped her chin, forcing her to look up at him, "Hap, you're going to be a great mom, no matter if she's girly or likes the things you do. You're worrying about nothing. Trust me, when the time comes, you'll know what to do. And you have me to help."

"Do you really think so?" she asked him apprehensively. 

Toby smiled and kissed her forehead, "I know so. You're going to be awesome."

Happy relaxed in relief against him, "I'm sorry, that was stupid."

He chuckled, "Hey, we're all entitled to our stupid questions from time to time."

She rolled her eyes, "Maybe it won't be so bad. I mean, she'll have you to talk to about her feelings," Happy joked, playfully pushing him and turning towards the couch. 

Toby caught her around her waist, pulling him to her, "Hey, laugh all you want, but I will gladly discuss emotions and feelings with our daughter."

Happy's face shifted from one of amusement to one of awareness, "Oh my god, Toby. This is real. We're really having a child together. We're going to be parents."

He smiled and leaned down to kiss her gently, "We are, baby. We're really starting a family."

She raised on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his again. Grabbing his hand, she led him to the couch. 

"I guess we should start figuring out baby things, now that I'm finally realizing this is happening." She laughed lightly, "It only took me a few months to realize I'm actually going to be a mom. I don't know what I was thinking before."

Toby sat next to her, throwing his feet up on the coffee table, "I know what you mean. We knew what was happening, but until I actually saw her and learned she was a she, nothing felt real. But now-now it has finally settled in. We're going to be parents, Hap, and I've never been more excited for something in my life."

Happy smiled up at him, "Me either." She threw a magazine from Paige at him from the coffee table, "Now get looking. We need ideas."

After thirty minutes of silence, aside from the occasional turn of a page, Toby gasped dramatically.

Happy turned to look at him, a suspicious look on her face, "Want to share what has you so excited?"

He clutched the magazine to his chest, "I found it."

"Found what?"

"What we should do for her room."

"What do you mean? Don't you just paint it and buy a crib?"

He shook his head vehemently, "No, we need to do this?"

Happy rolled her eyes, but held out her hand, "Let me see."

Toby gleefully handed it over, "Isn't it perfect?"

She looked at the page and started laughing. She was laughing so hard that she fell over on the couch, "You have to be kidding me."

On the page was a little girls room made up to look like a castle, draw bridge included. It was over the top and ridiculous. 

"We are not doing that, ever."

Toby ripped the magazine fro, her hands and pouted, "But she'd like it."

She continued laughing, "She won't even care until she's like 4 or 5. Come on, Tobes. Even you have to realize how over the top that is."

He looked at it again and started laughing, "Yeah, I guess it is." He poked her sides, "At least I had an idea though. Where are yours, huh?" 

He poked her side again and her laughs grew harder. His hands started tickling her, knowing just where she was ticklish. She started squirming, trying to get away. 

"Stop," she managed to get out between laughs, falling onto his chest. 

She grinned up at him, still giggling. He leaned down to kiss her, although their smiles were too big and their laughter was too hard that it prevented them from really kissing; it was more of a pressing of lips and teeth. His hand moved to her side and resumed it's assault of tickling her. She pushed his hand away, keeping her face pressed to his. She poked his stomach, trying to get back at him. 

"Oh you've done it now," he growled playfully. 

"No," Happy shrieked laughingly. 

Toby grabbed for Happy's waist, tickling her relentlessly. She continued to squirm and hit his hands away, but before long, Toby had her pressed into the couch, wriggling underneath him, laughing hard. He straddled her legs, to keep her place, and continued. He loved seeing her laugh and smiling, like she didn't have any worries. He leaned over her to give her a quick kiss and heard her small gasp. When he pulled back, Happy's face, which had been filled with laughter, suddenly was overcome with desire, the look in her eyes shifting to want. She reached up and pulled his head down to hers, kissing him deeply. She let her hands wander down his back, pulling him closer to her and let out a moan. He moved his lips to her neck, gently biting her skin, running his hand down her side. 

Happy, still kissing him, pushed at Toby's chest. He thought she was pushing him off of her, so he moved off and sat back against the couch. She quickly followed him, though, moving to straddle his hips, gently caressing his chest. She leaned in kissing one corner of his mouth, moving to the other side, then to his neck, teasing him with whispers of a kiss. He gripped her hips tightly in response. Finally, she pressed her lips to his, licking the outline of his lips before he opened up for her. She sighed and pulled back, reaching for the bottom of his shirt, quickly ripping it off over his head. Leaning down, she kissed his chest lightly before sitting up again. She reached for her shirt, pulling it off slowly, throwing it to the far side of the couch. Toby's breath caught in his throat. He wanted to say something, tell her how beautiful she was, but he was afraid of breaking the moment. He had been waiting for this, wanting it, for so long. 

So instead, he ran his hands up and down her back, pulling her to him. She pressed her chest into his, slowing down their kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck, leisurely kissing him, moving her hands through his hair, gently sliding down the sides of his face. Needing more, Happy rolled her hips against his, the friction eliciting a moan from her. Toby slid his hands down to her ass, pressing her further into him. They shared another groan. 

Toby moved his lips to her neck and whispered into her skin, "God, Hap. This feels so good." He moved his hands to the front of her jeans, ready to move this along to the bedroom. 

Happy suddenly froze and sat up straight, "Wait." She looked around for her shirt, getting off Toby to grab it. She didn't sit back down, but looked at him, a sorry written on her face. 

Toby groaned in frustration and ran his hands through his hair, "What the hell, Hap?"

Happy opened her mouth to respond, but her phone started ringing through the room. She muttered a sorry then ran to go answer it. 

"Hello? Oh, hi Paige. Yeah, we're home. No, no we're fine. I'll just send Toby out for take out. Seriously, we're okay. Thanks. Bye."

She put the phone down and awkwardly looked at Toby, walking towards him. "Um, that was Paige. She wanted to know if we wanted her to bring over dinner, but I told her no. I, uh. I figured you might have some questions."

Toby rubbed his eyes, "What did I do Happy?"

Happy took in a quick breath, "Nothing. You didn't do anything."

"Then what's going on? Does this have to do with what you said earlier? About your list of fears."

She shrugged, "It's nothing. Just know it's not you. This is on me and I'm sorry. Can we just forget about it now?" She stood to walk away. 

Toby grabbed her hand, pulling her back down on the couch, "No, we can't forget about it. I want to know what's going on. I want to help."

Happy groaned and resorted to what she knew when she felt uncomfortable and scared - pushing people away and acting like a jerk, "Toby, just stop. You don't have to do this. We both know you don't want to."

He looked at her in shock, "What are you talking about?"

Sighing, she told him what she meant, "You've been forced into this. Everything. Your job, me, the baby. You didn't ask for any of it, but you're having to deal with it. You don't have to pretend to care."

"Happy, what the hell? No one, not even you, can make me do something I don't want to do. I want to be here with you. I want to be a father to our daughter. I'm here because I want to be with you. What's going on? I know you know how much I want you."

The dam broke. She couldn't hide what what she was feeling anymore, Toby deserved to know. Happy sniffed and looked down, quickly wiping away a few tears that had fallen to her cheeks, "But what if two weeks from now, a year from now, you resent me or hate what you've been forced into dealing with, so you leave. What if Scorpion isn't enough for you? I'm not enough for you. I can't let myself get hurt again."

Toby reached out and pulled her onto his lap. Quietly, he whispered into her hair, "Baby, is this why you pull back?"

She nodded, "I can't let myself get any closer. You don't love me like you used to, and I get that, you don't remember. But before, I never thought you would leave or that I would lose you. And now-" she took a shuddering breath, "now that's all I think about. You could realize that you could do something more or find someone who's better suited for you. I'm just waiting for that day to come. You have nothing holding you back now. So I can't let myself get any more intimate. Maybe then it won't hurt so much when you decide you don't want this life anymore and leave."

Toby forced her to look up at him, "That's not happening. I want to be here."

Happy pulled her head away and looked down at her hands, "And most days I know that. It's just sometimes I get scared you'll leave. If that happens, I don't know what I'll do," she admitted. 

He kissed her wet cheeks, "That's not going to happen, babe. You and our daughter, even Scorpion, are everything I've ever wanted in life - a safe place surrounded by my family. My life would be empty, meaningless, without you all. I'm never leaving you. I need you to know that. We'll get back to where we used to be. I promise."

She leaned in and kissed him gently, "I'm trying to believe that. I want you, so badly, but my fear of losing you is greater. I never thought I'd lose you, but now I know what that's like and it scares me to death that it'll happen again. I'm scared to give myself over to you completely." She sighed and ran her hand over his chest, trying to distract herself, "I just need time to get over this, to convince myself the worst won't happen. Time to work through this."

"What can I do to help?" he asked, running his hand down her back.

She shook her head, "Nothing. Just keep being yourself. This is more about me, than you. I need to push my fears aside. Time is the only thing that will help, I think. I'm so sorry, Doc. This is stupid and you shouldn't have to deal with it."

"You have nothing to be sorry about. I want to deal with this with you. I hate that you thought you had to stay quiet. You can tell me anything; I want you to tell me everything." He kissed her temple, "I'll give you all the time you need and be here waiting for however long you need. You're the most important thing to me and you're worth the wait. Just let me know when you're ready."

Happy nodded and kissed him again, "Thank you. I promise I'll get there eventually."

Toby pulled her closer to his chest, wrapping her up in his arms. She nuzzled her head into his neck, snuggling closer to him. She quickly fell asleep as he held her. Kissing the top of her head, he thought about how much he cared about her, how perfect she was. If she needed reassurance, he would give it to her. He knew he would spend the rest of his life, if needed, convincing her he would never leave. He was hers for life now, even if she couldn't yet allow herself to believe it.


	8. Her Toby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy and Paige have a heart to heart, as Toby comes to a realization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long wait! Thank you for continuing to read 'Don't Forget Me'. I really appreciate all the comments and messages. I'm so glad that you guys like it! :-)

Toby sighed, kicking his feet up to rest on his desk. He let his gaze drift over to Happy, who was concentrating on building a listening device that Walter had been bugging her about. The ever present look of excitement that she had when she was working on something new drew a smile to Toby's face. She loved what she did, but that look didn't even compare to the look she gave him when she thought he wasn't paying attention. The look so full of love and devotion that it caused warmth to rush throughout his body every time. Little did she know, but he saw it every time she let her guard down, as he was constantly watching her, paying attention to every little thing she did - he couldn't help himself. He had never felt this drawn to a person before, or at least from what he could remember, but he was pretty sure that was the truth, even from the time he couldn't remember. There was just something different about Happy Quinn; his whole world felt right when she was around. 

He ran his hands through his hair as he sighed again. It had been a week since Happy finally admitted to what was bothering her. His heart broke for her, wishing he could convince her that he wanted to be with her, that she and their daughter were his whole world now. She said she'd be devastated if she lost him again, but that was the same for Toby; if he lost them, he knew he could never recover. 

Truth be told, the intensity of his feelings scared him. He fell for her so hard and so fast, that he was in unknown territory himself, not sure of what he should say or do, especially when he saw how much Happy loved him. Half the time, he was just following her lead, afraid to move too quickly or make a stupid mistake. All Toby wanted was for her to believe in his feelings towards her again. He tried everything he could think of to reassure her that he meant what he said - he took her out, reassured her with his words, held her close at night, but she was still scared. He could see it in her eyes when she was left alone with her own thoughts for too long. 

Toby groaned. This was all his fault. He knew that if he had never lost his memory, she wouldn't be feeling this way or tiptoeing around him. From what he had gathered, she never tiptoed around anything, so it made Toby feel unsettled that she was now. He had been trying to get his memories back, but aside from what he had already remembered, there had been nothing. He had gone to a few hypnotherapy sessions, but all that brought up was repressed feelings and memories from his childhood, memories he had worked hard to forget about; his father coming home drunk or his mother embarrassing him in front of one of his friends on the rare occasion someone came over. The memories Toby wanted to come back were still lost. He had even been using the program Walter and Sly had created for him for awhile, but nothing had happened. If he could just get his memory back, Happy would stop worrying.

He was pulled from his thoughts when he saw Happy suddenly set down the listening device she was working on. He immediately sat up, placing his feet in the floor, ready to run to her if she needed him. Toby had been extremely nervous ever since she had been in the hospital. He grew even more tense when he saw her hand go to her stomach and rub, a small furrow crossing her brow. But not a second later, a smile tugged at her lips, relaxing the anxious feelings growing in Toby. She looked up and made eye contact with him, the grin stretching her mouth lighting her whole face. Keeping one hand on her stomach, she motioned for him to come over. He quickly got to his feet and sauntered over to her, a smile on his own face. 

"What's going on sweet cheeks?" He looked around to make sure no one was watching before leaning down to kiss her softly. He pushed her hair behind her ear as she grinned up at him after they pulled apart. 

"I think I felt her move," Happy said excitedly. 

"What?" Toby asked, crouching down next to her, placing his own large hand over her stomach.

Happy laughed and ran her free hand through his hair, "You won't be able to feel it, babe. I barely felt it."

Toby looked up at her in awe, but didn't move his hand, "I know that, but I like putting my hand here. What did it feel like?"

Happy shrugged, "Kind of like butterflies, I guess. At first I thought I just had an upset stomach, but then I realized what it was. It was," she paused, letting her smile grow even larger, "it was amazing, Toby."

Toby looked up and saw a peaceful, happy look on her face. She cupped his face, as he leaned up to kiss her again, this time taking his time to kiss her lovingly and thoroughly. When they pulled apart, Happy slowly opened her eyes. Toby could see she was still in a daze, almost as if her mind was still holding on to their kiss, wanting to forget about work. He smirked and kissed her again quickly. 

"It was that good, huh?"

Happy blinked and was back in the present, dropping her hands from his face and sitting up straight. She shook her head, "Nope, just thinking about all I still have to do today, while trying not to fall asleep."

Toby nodded and stood, chuckling, "Alright, sure. I believe you."

She pushed him half-heartedly, "Just get the hell away from me. I have work to do."

"If I have to," he whispered, leaning down to give her one more kiss. Their eyes locked again as he pulled back and that familiar rush of feelings ran over him. His smile grew gentle, "God, Happy, I lo-"

"Everyone, gather around," Cabe's voice echoed through the garage, "We've got a case."

Toby's smile dropped as he glared in the direction of the voice. Happy didn't seem to care as she patted his chest while she walked by him. 

"I hope it's an easy case today, " she muttered, walking toward the center of the garage where Cabe and a middle-aged woman stood. 

Toby followed behind, his shoulders slightly drooped from being interrupted. He took his place next to Happy. She smiled up at him, lifting his mood instantly. He smiled back and then turned his attention to the screen in front of him. 

Walter quickly brought up the pictures from the flash drive that Cabe handed him. The team cringed when the first picture came up. It was a picture of a collapsed and burning building, chaos all around, with people, both dead and alive, trapped under the rubble. 

"What happened?" Paige whispered, bring her hand to cover her mouth. 

Happy tensed next to Toby and subconsciously shifted closer to him. He brushed his hand against her back, letting her know he was there. 

"That's what we need to figure out," Cabe said, "This is Maria Lindley and she is the director of the L.A. office of the FBI. This was their new office. It's our job to figure out if this was accidental or on purpose. We need to figure out exactly what happened and quickly." 

They all looked towards Happy as she walked over to Toby's desk and grabbed a piece of paper, pencil, and a ruler, then walked back to the group, setting the items on the table nearby. She looked at Director Lindley and said, "I need to know the exact layout of the floor where the fire started, as well as an approximate location of the starting point of the fire."

Director Lindley nodded and started describing to Happy what she needed. Happy quickly and accurately drew up the layout, biting her lip as she concentrated on the task in front of her. 

Toby watched her, unable to keep his eyes off of her. She looked beautiful right then, in just her jeans, t-shirt, and jacket. Happy didn't believe him when he said she had that pregnancy glow about her, but she did and it just made her even more gorgeous. A small smile crossed his face as she leaned over the table, pointing something out to the director. Her stomach was sticking out just enough to make it obvious that she was pregnant, especially now that she wasn't trying to hide it, and made it slightly difficult for her to reach the other side of the table. Toby felt his heart swell as he watched her. An awestruck look covered his face as he realized for the hundredth time, yet he somehow kept forgetting, that she was his. He had no idea how it had happened, a girl like her, falling for a guy like him. Everything about her was perfect, and everything about him, well, wasn't. He had to be the luckiest man on the Earth. It took everything in his power to not go over there, grab her, and kiss her senseless. But he restrained himself, mainly because he knew Happy would kill him if he ever did that in front of anyone. 

Happy sighed and laid the pencil down, turning to the rest of the team, "I can tell you right now, those steel beams weren't made properly. Something in that alloy was incorrect."

"How do you know that?" the director asked, surprise in her voice. 

Happy smirked and walked over to the pictures on the screen, "You can tell by the way they are warped at the ends. Based on what you told me about the layout of the floor and where the fire was, as well as what I can determine about the collapse from these pictures," she continued, holding up her cruelly drawn blueprints, "this was the first beam to be affected by the fire. The fire heated up the beam, creating weak points in these spots on the beams." She pointed to a few different spots. "As the weak spots grew, well weaker, the beam started to compress on itself. Doing this caused pressure to build up, leading to the bending of the beam. Once the beam was bent and the pressure was loaded past its failure point, the beam snapped."

Happy sighed and glanced at Toby, who smiled at her in amazement. She smiled back and continued on, "With a relatively small fire like this, the steel should have held. Steel is a lot stronger than that, meaning something in the alloy that makes up these beams was mixed at the wrong proportion. Probably there was too much carbon added in. This means the steel wouldn't move with the weight of the pressure, like it is supposed to, and it would snap a lot easier. Normally, steel has properties that allow it move in tension or compression depending on the forces acting on it. But these beams didn't." Happy paused and took a deep breath, she wasn't used to talking this much, but this was her area of expertise, "From what I can tell, the coffee machine shorted, causing a spark to fly, which created the fire. Most likely, this was an accident, but the company who manufactured the beams should be investigated. This wasn't overlooked accidentally." She turned back to the pictures and flipped through them, pointing at various spots on the steel beams, "All of these beams were affected and who knows how many more buildings out there were made with beams made up of the same alloy."

Cabe frowned, "If the company knew they had faulty beams, why would they allow them to go out?"

Sly held up his hand, "I've run the numbers and the chances of a fire at an office workplace are relatively small. And if this steel company were to recall and get rid of all of the beams that were defective before anything happened, it would cost them an enormous amount of money. But, if there was a fire and it was found out that the beams were defective, the amount of money they would have to pay in damages to the victims or the victim's families would be a lot less. We're talking millions of dollars less."

"So what you're saying is that the steel company was okay with endangering lives and possibly killing people, just to save their money?" Director Lindley asked, astonished. 

Sylvester nodded grimly.

"How do we get these people?" Cabe asked. 

"First, we need to find out who signed off on these beams, saying they passed inspection," Toby said. 

Happy spoke up again, "And we have to figure out if they have any more defective beams."

"Most companies keep samples of their beams from each batch they make," Walter commented. 

Happy nodded, "We just need a few flakes from the beams to determine what they are made up of."

"I have a friend who has a lab with everything we would need to run the tests," Walter said. "Happy, you and Paige get those samples. Toby and I will try to figure out who let these beams into construction zones. And Sly," he said, turning to him, "you stay here and provide technical support."

"Give me a half hour," Director Lindley said, "A judge owes me a favor, I can get you a search warrant quickly."

The team nodded and watched as she and Cabe left, before heading to their own spaces to gather what they needed. A little over thirty minutes later, the team, minus Sylvester, walked into the steel company, ready to figure out what was going on. They were met by an angry manager as they walked in who couldn't believe these "outrageous accusations". Cabe dealt with him as Sly led them to where they needed to go; the boys to the offices and research lab to figure out who let this go forward and the girls to storage to collect samples. 

Just as Happy was about to turn down a hall in the opposite direction from Toby, he put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side, leaning down to kiss the top of her head. 

"Be careful," he mumbled into her hair. 

Happy pulled away and gave him a small smile. Slowly she backed away, muttering a "you too", before she turned to catch up with Paige.

Happy ignored Paige's odd look as she caught up to her. It was clear that Paige wanted to talk - about what, Happy had no idea. Happy and Paige hadn't had much time to talk, aside from the normal, everyday conversation, ever since Happy confided in Paige in the kitchen the first day Toby was back. A little guilt ate at Happy about that. She knew Paige wanted to help her, but Happy just didn't have the energy to deal with her feelings and emotions with anyone other than Toby. 

Happy showed Paige how to collect the samples they needed when they found the stored beams and waited for Paige to break the silence. After five minutes, Paige finally did just that. 

"So," she started slowly, "it seems like everything is back to normal between you and Toby."

Happy shrugged and continued with her work, not even glancing at Paige when she answered, "It's getting there, but it's not quite the same yet."

Paige stopped her scraping of the beam and made her way over to Happy, "What do you mean? You two seem so, I don't know, happy now, maybe even more so than before."

Happy gave a sharp laugh and turned to Paige, "I don't know about that."

"Happy..." Paige said quietly, resting her hand on her arm. 

She sighed, knowing Paige wouldn't let this go, "We are happy, but it's different. It may seem like we're happier than before, but actually, I'm more scared," she admitted. 

Paige didn't say anything. She looked at her quizzically, waiting for Happy to continue. 

"Before, we didn't really show the team too much how we felt, mainly because of me. I was scared to let myself get close, let other people see our relationship. But now," she looked down and twisted the scraper in her hand, "now I'm scared I'm going to lose him all over again. I let myself take those moments just for the two of us because I'm worried one day it'll all disappear."

Understanding washed over Paige's face, "Happy, you know the chances of Toby losing his memory again are probably very slim. I'm no genius, but that has to be true."

"I know that, but in our line of work, with what we do, we take chances everyday. I'm not talking just about memory loss, I'm talking about everything that could take Toby away from me. I've never felt this scared in my life. And-" she looked down again and stopped, shaking her head, "Nevermind."

Paige crossed her arms across her chest, "No, what were you going to say."

Happy grit her teeth, wishing she could go back and stop herself before she let anything slip, but that was impossible. Instead, she closed her eyes and spoke, "And I'm worried that something not in this job will take Toby away. He doesn't remember any of this, me, so what's stopping him from leaving if a better offer comes up?"

Wrapping Happy up in a hug, Paige tried to reassure her, "Happy, that's not going to happen. Toby looks at you like the sun rises and sets with you. He looks at you and protects you and cares for you like he used to, like he always has. That much is obvious to all of us, even Walter. You have absolutely nothing to be afraid of."

Happy took a step back, her words doing little to lessen the fear. 

"You know," Paige said quietly, "the day you took off, after being in the hospital last week, Toby could not stop going on about you and the baby. He told us how great of a mother you are going to be and how excited he is to be having a baby, a daughter, with you. And he showed us those sonogram pictures five time. Five times, Happy!"

Happy let out a little chuckle at that; it was such a Toby thing to do, express his enthusiasm in such an extreme way. 

Paige continued, "But that wasn't what told me he was in this for forever."

Happy furrowed her brow, wondering what Paige was going to say next. 

"Nope, that made it clear how much he already loved the baby, but what told me that he was all in, that he was going to spend the rest of his life with you like you two had planned, was when he was sitting at his desk. He would sit there and not be able to go five minutes without pulling out his phone to check in on you or pull up a picture of you or glance over at your empty workspace. He could barely work without you there. It was almost as if he wasn't himself, he wasn't whole, without you there with him."

Happy felt a tear fall to her cheek. She quickly wiped it away and turned back to her work, uncomfortable with how serious the conversation had become. She felt Paige's hand on her arm again. 

"Listen, this may sound harsh, but there's nothing you can do to protect yourself from losing him. Things happen that are out of our control, as we know all too well in this job. Don't let the fear get in your way again. Cherish this time with Toby, welcome it. Don't stay back just because you're scared. If you do that, you'll never be completely happy. I say, screw the fear and just let yourself be with Toby how you want to be; don't hold back, or you're just going to regret it."

Happy sniffed and nodded, while continuing on with her work, not knowing how to respond. Paige sighed and turned back to the beam she was working on, sensing Happy was done with the serious talk. 

"Okay, well now that that's over, at least tell me this, is the sex still good?"

Happy almost dropped her scraper in shock and turned to stare at Paige. 

She let out a laugh, "Don't give me that look. It was obvious from the looks on your faces that it was pretty awesome before. So tell me, is it still as good?"

Happy closed her eyes and turned back to the beam, "I am not answering that, Paige," she said gruffly, not wanting to admit to Paige that she had been too scared to let things go that far between them. 

Paige rolled her eyes, "Oh come on, give me a break. It's been a long time for me and I have to live vicariously through you."

Happy shook her head, "Not happening Dineen. Why don't you tell Walter to hurry the hell up and have him help you out with that?"

Laughing, Paige scoffed, "That man is slower than molasses. I swear, every time I think we're moving forward, he turns around and takes a hundred steps back. You know, he took me out to dinner the other night and kissed me goodnight, but the next morning he had the audacity to say it meant nothing and we should just forget about it."

Happy laughed, "Classic Walter."

"Tell me about it. Oh, and before I forget, I have a bunch of baby things for you that I've picked up."

"You didn't have to do that."

Paige shrugged, "I know, but I wanted to. I'm so excited for you. I love babies. It makes me miss when Ralph was that small. But I'm not having another one anytime soon, so your little one is going to be spoiled by its Aunt Paige." She smiled wistfully, "Do you want me to bring the stuff to the garage or I could drop them off some time at your apartment?"

"I guess you could drop it off tomorrow. I don't think Toby and I have anything going on. And we'll be home all day since it's a Saturday."

She clapped her hands, "Okay, great. I'll make sure to call before I come over so I don't interrupt anything." She waggled her eyebrows as she said that.

Happy rolled her eyes, "Paige," she said in warning. 

Paige laughed, "I know, I know. You don't want to talk about it. I'm done."

"Good. Now let's get back to work. I'm tired and I want to go home."

"I agree."

The worked in silence for a few more minutes, quickly finishing up. As they were walking back to meet up with Toby, Walter, Cabe, and their suspects, Happy broke the silence. 

"Thanks," she muttered in a soft voice, "for everything."

Paige smiled, "You're welcome. That's what friends are for."

Happy smiled back, glad that she finally had found a friend like Paige. 

The next afternoon, Happy sat crossed leg in the middle of the living room floor, surrounded by the purchases Paige had brought over. There were clothes, toys, weird seat looking things, bibs, blankets - it was all a little too overwhelming. And Toby, of course, refused to help her sort and organize everything. Happy wanted to smack the smirk right off his face when he said that. But when he explained that he would just get in the way and mess up whatever plan Happy had, Happy had to agree with him; it probably was best if he just let her deal with it. 

Toby sat on the couch, watching as Happy folded and sorted the items. He was trying to read a magazine, but he was easily distracted by her. She seemed so calm and peaceful; it was surprising to Toby. He thought she would be freaking out because of all of the baby stuff. Her life was changing in a major way, but she seemed to be okay with it. 

He finally gave up on reading and put the magazine down on his lap, "Hey Hap, I know it's only been a week since we found out she was a she, but have you thought of any names yet?"

Happy put the blanket down she was folding and looked up at him, pursing her lips in thought, "Hmm, not really. But we aren't naming her something weird, like Apple, that's for sure."

Laughter rang through the air, "Why the hell would you name your baby that? That's stupid!"

She blinked and chuckled, "That's right, I forgot, you don't remember."

"Remember what?"

Happy smiled and picked the blanket back up, "A few years ago, it was all the rage with celebrities to name your kid something unique and different. Apple was one of those choices."

Toby groaned and laid his head back against the couch, "Poor kid. I can't even imagine doing that to a child."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Happy laughed, "I've lived it my entire life and it was hell at times."

He looked up and smiled tenderly at her, "But your name suits you. I can't imagine you as anything else. It's perfect, like you."

She blushed and looked down, still, after all this time, not knowing how to act after a compliment. 

And Toby knew this, so he changed the subject, "Well we still have some time to figure it out. So no name it is for now." He picked his magazine back up, letting silence surround them. 

A few minutes later, Happy spoke quietly, in a small voice, "I wouldn't mind if we used Grace as a middle name."

Toby looked up and smiled at her. She looked nervously at him, waiting for his reaction. When he didn't say anything right away, she rambled on, trying to explain. 

"I mean, we don't have to. I didn't even know my mom, but I just- I don't know, I feel like I should. I want-"

Out of nowhere, a crumpled up piece of paper hit Happy on the head. She stopped talking and glared at Toby.

"What the hell was that for?"

"To get you to shut up," he laughed. 

Happy continued to glare at him, but kept her mouth shut. 

Toby's smile grew at the look on her face. "I love that idea, baby. I think we should do it. It's a way to keep a small part of your mother alive. And anything that makes you happy, I will gladly go along with." He stood up and walked over to Happy, leaning down to kiss the top of her head, before making his way into the kitchen. "You hungry?" he asked over his shoulder, once again changing the subject before she became too uncomfortable, "I'm making us a snack."

Forty-five minutes later, Toby was back on the couch, sprawled out across the length of it, watching Happy continue to deal with the gifts Paige brought over. She was currently flipping through the pages of a book Paige had said was a lifesaver when she was pregnant. Tucking her hair behind her ear, she bit her lip, bringing a smile to Toby's face. He loved watching her when she was concentrating on something else. She didn't know this, but her face was so expressive when she wasn't guarded and closed off. 

Her brow would furrow when she was frustrated or confused. Her lips would pull at the corners when she was amused or had successfully done something. She would purse her lips when she was thinking and trying to figure things out. Her forehead would smooth out when she was relaxed. Her nose would flare when she was upset or wanted something badly. She would squint her eyes when she was really focused or bite her lip when she was worried...or turned on, Toby thought with a laugh. 

Her facial expressions weren't the only quirk she had. She was a little OCD about how her tools were to be organized and put away. And she didn't mind a mess in the bedroom, but if one thing was out of place in the bathroom, she would freak. Or there was the quirk she had about not letting her food touch on her plate. Toby starting chuckling silently when he thought of her routine when they'd get home from work, it was always the same thing - come in, turn on the light, quickly look around to make sure everything was normal, go to the kitchen, turn on that light, plug in her phone, take off her shoes, place them neatly by the front door, go change into comfortable clothes, and then finally sit down on the couch and relax. And all of this would happen before Toby could even get out of his jacket and shoes.

He smiled as he thought of Happy. All of her quirks made her into the person she was, a person he wouldn't want to change for the world. He loved this woman, quirks and all, more than life itself. She and their daughter were the most important things in his life. He looked over at her, his smile growing when he saw she was still looking down at the book in her lap, getting ready for the arrival of their little one. It made his heart swell with love. She had to know how he felt, he had said it thousands of time - in his head, he quickly realized. His sat up quickly, stomach dropping, not believing that he hadn't said it to her yet. No wonder she was still so cautious about their relationship, she was worried that he didn't love her and never would. That made sense with what he had learned about her past history in foster care. He groaned inwardly, cursing himself for his subconscious self-sabotaging ways. 

"I love you," he blurted out suddenly, not given himself time to think or talk himself out of saying it. 

She looked up slowly, cautiously, "What?" 

Toby smiled sweetly and walked over to her, reaching out a hand to help her up. "I love you," he whispered quietly, gently caressing the side of her face with his fingertips. "I do, I love you. I'm so, very much, in love with you."

Their gazes met and locked, sweeping Happy out of reality; the only thing she could see was him, his eyes telling her everything he still wanted to say, the love he felt obvious in the look on his face. Any worries, any other thoughts she had, flew from her mind as she focused on him. All that existed was Toby. She could feel his warmth burning through their clothes as he drew her to his body with an arm around her waist. 

Toby leaned down to kiss her gently. Happy still hadn't said anything, but she kissed him back. When Toby pulled back, his smile was loving. 

"I mean it, Hap. I'm not leaving you or no name Grace," he chuckled, placing his hand on her small bump. "I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I love you."

And Happy knew, she believed him. She could see that he meant what he said. He loved her. His eyes spoke of the depths of his love - he loved her like he did before, if not even more. While his memories weren't back yet, she had him back fully. This was the look she had become so used to and had missed desperately over the past three months. All of her worries disappeared as she beamed up at him, feeling a thousand times lighter. 

"I know, I love you too," she whispered, wrapping her hands around the back of his neck. 

Pulling his head down to her again, Happy put everything she had been feeling over the past three months into the kiss - frustration, sadness, love, fear. And Toby gave as much as he received. Pulling her as close to him as possible, Toby swore he could feel her heart pounding against his chest. Or it could have been his own, he wasn't sure. Happy opened for him as soon as his tongue demanded entrance, letting it tangle with hers. She let out a small moan and pulled gently at his hair, trying to pull herself even closer. They stood there in their living room, wrapped up in one another, kissing, for some time. It could have been minutes or hours, neither one knew, they were too distracted by one another. 

She started walking them backwards, her body craving for his touch. His kisses were intoxicating and Happy was slowly getting lost in him. She whimpered his name as his hand caressed up her side to cup her face, leaving behind a burning trail. She ached for his touch against her bare skin - it had been so long. She took another step back, but tripped over the things still on the floor. 

Toby let out a small laugh as he caught her. He pressed his lips to hers again and muttered, "Slow down, baby. We have all the time in the world." He slid his lips to her neck, his scruff scraping her overly sensitive skin. 

"Toby," she moaned, pulling his head back to hers for a fierce and longing kiss. 

Happy jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist. Toby easily caught her, squeezing her backside as she settled against him. She moved her lips across his neck until she reached his ear. 

"Bedroom," she breathed before gently biting down. 

Toby quickly made his way to their bedroom and gently set her down on the bed. She looked up at him expectantly. He smiled ever so slightly, gazing down at her, his expression tender, full of longing, full of love. Climbing over her, he captured her lips with his own again, unable to be away from her for too long. Settling onto his side, he pulled her close and just stared at her, unable to believe that she was really his. He reached up with his hand, settling it on her face, as she stared back with wide eyes. 

His fingers trailed down her cheek to her lips, outlining the shape of her swollen mouth. He leaned in, brushing his lips lightly against hers again. He needed her, almost as if she was his drug. A small tremble ran through her body and she pushed herself closer. He brushed his mouth against her cheek, her temple, tracing the line of her jaw. Slowly his lips kissed down her neck, nipping lightly at the hallow of her neck. The anticipation was building until Happy could no longer take it, it was just too much. She threaded her fingers through his hair, pulling his mouth to hers forcefully. Her hands slid down his shoulders to his chest. Fisting her hands in his shirt, she pulled him even closer. A soft groan escaped from low in his throat, as he shifted, deepening their kiss. Happy pulled back slightly, keeping her forehead pressed to his as she inhaled deeply, taking in the scent that was Toby, something she had been away from for far too long. She trailed her nose down his jaw, memorizing the line of it all over again. Her hand reached up, stroking his cheek, as she kissed every inch of his neck, only stopping when a moan filled the air, but she wasn't sure from whom. 

Happy looked into his eyes, faces millimeters apart. They shared every breath, their hearts beating in synch. It was as if everything else had fallen away, everything had disappeared but the two of them. She leaned in, pressing her lips to his once again, more needy than before, pulling him on top of her as she rolled to her back. She grabbed the back of his shirt, pulling it off over his head. He grinned down at her as he pulled hers off, throwing it somewhere in the room. She bit her lip as he trailed kisses from her neck, down the center of her chest, to her stomach, unable to stop the loud moan from escaping. 

He quickly pulled off the rest of her clothes. They laughed when her bra strap got caught in her hair. But quickly got caught up again in each other's mouths and roaming hands. She pushed his jeans and boxers down, letting out a small sigh when they went flying across the room. She let out a small whimper and gasped his name as he began working his way down her body, covering it with kisses, licks, and sucks. Happy was sure she was going to die of pleasure as he settled between her legs. She groaned again, it had been so long. 

Toby's fingers and tongue worked on her, teasing her, pushing her over the edge with a moan. When she came back down, she opened her eyes to see him grinning salaciously at her, licking his fingers, as he climbed back up her body. 

She covered her eyes, her cheeks turning pink, "Oh god, you're still the same."

He laughed loudly, "Is that a good thing?"

Pulling him close, she kissed him hard and mumbled against his lips, "Yes, it's a very, very good thing."

Toby slid his hand up to cup her face and slowed their kiss until it was just a brush of his lips against hers. Lightly, he kissed her cheeks, forehead, jaw, neck, until Happy was lost in the feeling of his lips sliding across her skin. Eventually he pulled back and waited for her to open her eyes. Once she finally did, they shared a smile full of promises for their future. He leaned down to kiss her once more. 

"I love you," he whispered in her ear before he slowly entered her, eyes locked on hers. 

She pulled his mouth back to hers. "I love you too," she gasped. 

He started moving, slowly, carefully. He wanted to take his time, reconnect with her in only a way they could. Happy seemed to understand and want that herself. They lazily kissed and caressed as they made love. Moans and 'I love you's' filled the air. Happy closed her eyes in ecstasy as Toby swirled his hips. God, it had been so long since they had been this close, their skin pressing together, bodies sliding against each other - she has missed this, missed him and the way his body covered hers. But she had missed the man he was, the emotional connection they shared, even more. She opened her eyes and saw his looking directly at hers. It almost brought a tear to her eyes to see how much love was filled in his own. She was sure hers were an exact mirror to his. 

"Hi," he whispered with a grin. 

"Hey," she laughed, rolling her hips with his. 

Toby linked his hands with hers, pressing them into mattress. The bite of the hard ring still on her finger digging into his own finger made him smile. He was glad that she was still wearing it. He leaned down to kiss her passionately, hoping she would realize how much it meant to him that she still had his ring on her finger. 

Before long, they were both calling out each other's names in pleasure. He collapsed next to her, breathless. Threading his arms under her shoulders and head, he pulled her on top of him. She nuzzled her cheek against his shoulder, burying her face in his neck, as he hugged her close. 

"That was amazing," he breathed out. 

She hummed in agreement, exhausted, but sated. 

Toby slowly trailed his fingers up and down her back and side, causing goosebumps to form on her skin. She lifted her head to press a kiss on his jaw. He smiled and guided her head back to his for yet another gentle kiss. Pulling back, he tucked her tousled hair behind her ear, the touch sending a shiver down her spine. He pulled her close and kissed the tip of her nose, which she crinkled in response. Slowly, he traced the line of her cheek with his fingertips and slid his fingers along the sensitive skin at the curve of her neck. Happy shivered again and nestled further into him, never wanting his touch to end. 

When he stopped, she looked up at his unguarded face, seeing what she had become so used to seeing before Toby lost his memory. He was staring at her, so intensely, his face full of amazement and love. It made Happy feel exposed, after having gone so long without it. Almost as if he could see deep inside her. It used to scare her, but not anymore. Now it just felt like home. 

She leaned in to kiss him, more heat behind it than some of their previous kisses. 

"I love you," she murmured, stroking his cheek with her fingertips, "I am so happy right now. I was afraid we'd never get this back. I missed you."

Toby smiled gently at her, "I knew we would. There's something between us that some people are never lucky enough to find. We just needed some time to get back here. I'm so glad we did, Hap. I'm just sorry that I was the cause of it going away."

Happy shook her head quickly and kissed him again, holding his face between her hands, "No, baby, don't. You didn't do anything. It was an accident. What's done is done, so I think it's time we finally move forward from this. I'm promising you now, I will not let my fears get our way ever again. It's time we get our lives back."

Toby rolled her over with a smile and kissed her thoroughly, "I agree with you one hundred percent." He rolled his hips against hers and tickled her side with one of his hands, "And I say we start now."

Happy giggled as he pressed his lips to her. She arched her back and laughed harder as Toby moved back down her body, placing sloppy kisses on her bare skin. Boy was she glad she had her Toby back. Her Toby, those words had never sounded sweeter.


	9. Future Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toby and Happy talk about what's to come for them.

A dull thud of something being put on the bedside table, followed by the smell of fresh coffee, roused Happy from her sleep. Keeping her eyes closed, she smiled, remembering the night before, wanting to hold on to those last few moments where everything was perfect because, she knew, with a new day came a whole new set of challenges. The night had been better than she had imagined; it was familiar, yet new and exhilarating and it was even better than she remembered. She was worried it would be formal and stilted, since it had been a long time since she had been with him (and he didn't remember their previous life together), but no, it was like he had never left her, like they had been together for years - they moved together in a practiced way and still fit together perfectly, just like a puzzle piece. It wasn't just a one time luck thing either, it was every single time they found themselves rolling around in the sheets. 

And Toby, god Toby had blown her mind. Without remembering, he knew exactly what she liked, where to kiss her, how to touch her. It was almost as if he could read her mind and interpret her moans as if they were words. Even when they were laying side by side, heads turned to stare at one another, he knew when to reach out to stroke her skin or when to kiss her or when she wanted him again, but was too nervous to say anything. 

But it wasn't just about being with him again, it had been the love that was clearly written on his face the entire night that made it perfect. Even when they weren't being serious, one look in to his eyes sent shivers down Happy's spine with the amount love filling them. Being with Toby like that again, being open and exposed, sharing that part of herself with him, telling him just how much she loved him, scared her, but felt so wonderful. It felt like their relationship from before Toby's memories were lost. 

The bed dipped beside Happy, pulling her from her memories. She bit her lip, all of a sudden nerves rushing through her. It had been a long time since there was a first morning after and she had forgotten what to do. A hand brushed the hair off her face and a light kiss was placed on her shoulder, doing little to reassure her. 

"Hi beautiful," Toby whispered in her ear. He kissed her cheek, "I know you're awake. Your breathing pattern quickened when I got on the bed."

Happy could feel herself blushing. Groaning, she rolled away from Toby and buried her face in the pillow, hoping he didn't see her pink cheeks. This would've been less awkward if she had woken up before him, given herself time to figure out what to do - possibly not even see him until they were both out of the bed. 

She felt the blush moving down to her chest. Last night, she had been caught up in the moment, unable to think about anything other than Toby and how much she loved him. But now that it was morning and he was beside her in the bed where she lay naked, she didn't know how to act, didn't know how Toby would want her to act. Before, it had been so easy because they were so familiar with each other and had woken up together after a night of passion hundreds of times. But things weren't the same now - would he want her to curl up into his side, like she was used to? Would he mind if she kissed him with her morning breath? Or would he want to be just left alone? She hated this awkward feeling of not knowing. 

Toby chuckled beside her, tugging at her shoulder to roll over, "What are you doing, baby? Don't roll away from me."

Slowly, Happy rolled back over, pulling the sheet up over her chest. She bit her lip, praying the blush would go away before he noticed and avoided his eyes until he tilted her chin up to look at him. 

He grinned at her, "Morning."

"Hi," she whispered back, shooting him a small, shy smile. She felt her blush coming back. Covering her face with her hands, she tried to roll away from him again. 

He reached out and rolled her back, "No, don't - don't turn away from me."

Happy sighed and spoke through her hands, "I'm not, I just," she huffed, "I don't know how to act."

Toby chuckled and slid under the covers next to her, propping himself up on one arm, "It's just like our first time."

Sliding her hand off her face slowly, Happy turned to face him, reaching out her hand to touch his cheek, "What?"

Smiling, he said, "It's just like our first -" he paused, eyes widening, "wait, I remember that Hap. How do I remember that?" 

"What do you remember?" Happy asked cautiously.

Toby closed his eyes and was quiet. A small smiled crossed his face. Reaching out, he ran his fingers across her stomach in a soothing pattern, but Happy didn't know which one of them he was trying to keep calm. He liked to do that a lot when he was thinking. At first it confused her, but then she realized he was just trying to keep a connection to her, let her know he was still there, as he thought something through. 

"I remember you blushing when I woke you up that first morning we were together," he said quietly, eyes still closed, "I remember pulling you close and telling you that you had nothing to be embarrassed about. That I loved everything that happened, that it was the best night of my life. And then I remember how what was supposed to be a reassuring kiss turned into much, much more."

When he finally opened his eyes, Happy was blinking back tears. "You remember?" she whispered in disbelief. 

Toby nodded and leaned in to kiss her softly, "Yes. I remember how much I was already in love with you that first morning. I remember how good I felt." He grinned, "I felt like I was on top of the world. But at the same time, I was scared - god was I scared. I was sure you were going to bolt at first, but you didn't and I thought I was going to die from happiness." He brushed a tear off of Happy's cheek with the back of his hand, "Happy, I remember. It's just one memory, but maybe this means more will start coming back."

"Toby," Happy whispered as she pulled him to her forcefully, kissing him hard. A few more happy tears fell down her cheeks, the salty taste mixing in with their kiss. 

Pulling back, he rested his forehead against hers and wiped away the rest of her tears. They both were grinning. 

"I love you," he murmured quietly. 

"Me too," she whispered back, running her fingers over the scruff on his cheek, still in a shock at his news. 

"You know what this means, Hap?" he asked, a laugh in his voice, rolling onto his back. 

She shook her head and followed him, nestling into his side. 

Toby kissed the top of her head and rubbed her shoulder, "This means, since I remember our first morning after, we don't have to go through all that awkwardness again." Happy looked up at him and furrowed her brow, "Not that it didn't turn out well," he quickly added. "I'm just saying, you don't have to feel nervous any more, we already did that and we both remember it. So instead, we can just bask in the afterglow."

Happy smiled and lifted her head, turning it to kiss the spot over his heart, "How do you always know what's bothering me?"

He chuckled, "World class psychiatrist here, remember?"

She pinched his side, but giggled, "Wise ass."

He pulled her in closer and grabbed her left hand, raising it to his lips, "I know you, Hap. I can tell when something's bothering you. It just comes with being connected like we are." 

"After all this time, you'd think I'd be used to someone finally understanding me, knowing things about me that I might not necessarily want them to know. But I'm not. It still surprises me every time," Happy confessed. 

He kissed the top of her head again, "I like knowing you in a way no one else will." He started tickling her side, "And I gotta keep you on your toes, so you never know what to expect."

"I think we've had plenty of unexpected things come up the past few months," she laughed, but quickly grew somber when she realized Toby was playing with the ring on her finger. She watched for a few seconds, then tried to pull her hand away, wanting to hide it under the covers, away from his gaze, "I'm sorry," she said quietly, "I, uh, I should've taken it off already. I tried, but-"

Toby interrupted her by tilting her chin and kissing her sweetly, "Stop," he said, keeping her hand in his firm grip, "Don't freak out and start babbling."

Happy blushed and tried to take her hand back, but he wouldn't let her. "Toby, I know it's not fair to you and-"

"I said stop, Hap," he demanded gently, giving her a loving smile, "I'm glad you're still wearing it."

"What?" she asked and stopped her struggle to get her hand away. 

Toby lifted her hand to his mouth and pressed a soft kiss on her finger, right above her ring, "I'm glad you're wearing the engagement ring still."

"But-"

He shook his head, "I may not remember before, baby, but I've known since the day you said you wanted to move out that we were going to get married. I knew then that I wanted you to keep the ring on. I still want us to be engaged," he kissed her, "I mean, if that's alright with you. I love you and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. So please, keep the ring on."

"You," she cleared her throat, "you still want to marry me?"

Toby grinned and nodded, "Yeah, I do. I don't think we should get married until after the baby is here, because that's a whole bunch to do and plan in a short period of time, but I do want to marry you. I want to be your husband and you to be my wife."

"You actually want to pick a date and plan the wedding? Everything?"

"I want the whole shebang, Hap. I want a wedding with our friends, a wife, and a baby. And I want it all with you." Toby took a deep breath, "Will you keep the ring on and marry me?"

"You're serious," she said, surprised by how this morning was turning out. It was much different than she had thought it would go. She thought the biggest thing that would happen was going to be ignoring any awkwardness. 

"As serious as a heart attack," he confirmed, kissing her again. "I love you."

Happy smiled shyly at him and sat up, "I love you too. And if you really want it, then yes, I want to still marry you." Leaning down, she kissed him deeply. "We're really going to get married," she whispered when she pulled back, "I had hoped," she laughed, "obviously since I kept the ring on, but I didn't think it would actually happen." She kissed him again, unable to stop herself.

"This is happening," Toby whispered with a large smile lighting up his entire face. 

"I can't believe it, I'm finally getting everything back."

Toby's face grew serious, "Happy, can you promise me something first?"

She nodded, her joyful mood disappearing - nothing could ever go completely right, "I'll try."

He grabbed her hand, kissing her palm, "Can you promise to not overthink things between us anymore?"

Happy blinked, taken aback, "What do you mean?"

Toby sighed and reached out to push the hair out of her face, "I mean, don't overthink things. Treat me like you always treated me. If you want to kiss me, then damn it, kiss me. If you want more, don't be afraid to speak up. I know you and you're not the type of person to take the backseat - on anything - so don't start doing that now." He leaned in to kiss her gently before locking his fingers with hers, "But most of all, please, don't be shy and timid around me. I'm still Toby. I might be a little damaged now, but I'm still your Toby. Treat me like that - don't be afraid to yell at me or touch me. It kills me that you're still tentative around me, I don't want that. I want you to be happy. Do what you want, don't worry about me or my reaction, because I guarantee that I will love it. You can't scare me away, baby. I love you and I'm yours, forever. So stop trying to convince yourself that you'll mess this up or that this is temporary, because that's not true; We're getting married, you're stuck with me for life now."

"Are you sure?" she asked timidly. 

He grinned at her and kissed the back of her hand, "Am I sure? Seriously, Hap? Of course I'm sure. No more walking on egg shells around each other."

Happy sat quietly for a second, letting his words run through her head. Finally, she looked back up at him, "Okay," she grinned back, "I can do that."

She had lost what she had considered the perfect life when Toby got hurt. She lost the man she loved, taking with him everything she never thought she would have in her life, but everything she secretly wanted. She never thought it could be taken from her so easily and was devastated when it was. But now, after working so hard, she had it back and she wasn't going to take it for granted. If anything, Toby's memory loss taught her how precious it was to make memories, to not always assume there would be a tomorrow. She was done with letting fear control her life, like it had done since she was young. 

"Thank you," he murmured, running his thumb across the back of her hand. 

"No problem," she leaned in to kiss him. "But I don't think you know what you're in for," she mumbled against his lips before kissing him again. 

He laughed, "I don't mind. Bring it on, baby.

She giggled, finally feeling light and happy - perfect, and climbed on top of him, rolling her hips against his. He moved his grip to her thighs, holding them firmly in his hands, letting his thumbs rub small circles on her inner thigh. She leaned down and scattered small kisses across his neck and chest. Unable to stay quiet any longer, he moaned quietly, sliding his hands up to her back. She pressed a light kiss on his lips and pulled back slightly, tucking her hair behind her ears.

"Hey Doc?" she said breathlessly.

"Hmm?" he hummed, closing his eyes as she rolled her hips again. 

"You know what I want?"

He opened his eyes and grinned, "I have a pretty good idea."

"I really want," she paused and kissed his jaw, "a shower."

"What?" he cried, baffled by what she said.

Happy grinned, sliding off him and the bed. Toby whimpered at the loss of her on top of him and reached for her, but she was too quick. She started walking towards the bathroom, purposefully swaying her hips more than normal. Toby gulped and jumped up, running after her. 

Just as he reached her, she stopped and turned around, causing Toby to almost bump into her. She placed her hands on his chest, becoming distracted for a few seconds as she ran her fingertips over his bare chest. When she finally looked up at him, there was a smirk on her face. Standing on her toes, she kissed the underside of his jaw. 

"You know what else I want?" she asked huskily, sliding her hands up to his neck, pulling him down for a quick kiss. 

Toby shook his head, unable to speak, distracted by her touch and being pressed up against her. She took a step back and he immediately missed her warmth. Apparently, she did too, as she immediately reached out and placed her hands back on his chest. 

"What I'd really like, what the baby really wants," she murmured, tracing a design on his chest, "is waffles. With lots of butter and powdered sugar and," she moaned and closed her eyes, "strawberries." She kissed his chest and patted his cheek, taking another step towards the bathroom, "Thanks baby. You're the best." 

"But - but the shower," he stuttered, gesturing to the bathroom. 

She cocked her head, "What about the shower? I'm still going to get one." 

"But I thought we were going to, you know..." He grabbed her around the waist, pulling her to him, ducking down to kiss her convincingly. 

She pulled out of his arms and placed her hands on her stomach. With her lip out and a small whine to her voice, she said, "But the baby. She really wants waffles." 

Toby sighed and hung his head, running his hands through his hair, "Alright. The waffles will be ready when you get out." He turned around to head to the kitchen. 

She grabbed his arm and turned him back around, a grin on her face, "I was kidding, dork," she muttered, pulling his head back down to hers. 

Toby looked surprised, "But the baby, the waffles-" 

"She'll be fine for another half hour. We can make them after the shower," she interrupted him, "I was teasing you. I told you that you didn't know what you were in for." 

Toby grinned, "I love you." 

"Yeah, I know," she mumbled against his lips, jumping up and wrapping her legs around his waist. 

"What have I gotten myself in to?" he joked, walking towards the bathroom. 

"Me," Happy whispered, moving her lips to his neck, "Well, you're going to be getting into me soon, I hope." 

Toby let out a loud laugh, turning on the water, "Yep, you're it for me. I love you." 

Happy pulled back and looked into his eyes. With a serious tone she said back, "I love you too, Toby." 

He grinned again before she kissed him sweetly. He stepped into the shower, her lips still on his. 

Toby set her down and when she looked at him, her eyes were filled with lust. She reached for him, "Now, let's make this quick, Doc. All that talk about waffles made me hungry." 

Later that afternoon Happy and Toby were lazily walking hand in hand through a nearby small town. Toby had wanted to get out of the apartment, but Happy didn't want to deal with L.A. that day, so they had compromised and driven an hour away to a smaller town. They both enjoyed the more peaceful atmosphere of the smaller city, especially after a long week at work. And here, they didn't have to worry or focus on anything but each other - and the musical road. Toby insisted that they drive over the road three times before they stopped in town. Happy had rolled her eyes, but gave in and drove over the road anyways. It was probably the only reason Toby had suggested they go an hour away. 

"Would you ever want to live in a city like this?" Happy asked suddenly, watching a family walk down the street. 

"Huh?" Toby asked turning to her, he had been distracted by some window display. 

"Would you ever want this life? You know, less hustle and bustle, suburbs, big houses?"

"Sure, I guess. If that's what you want."

"You'd really want this?"

Toby stiffened and ran his hand through his hair, "Honestly, no, I wouldn't want this. It's too, I don't know, pristine. Everything has to be in its place. I don't fit in in places like this. But if you wanted to, I'd make it work."

"Oh thank god," Happy sighed in relief, leaning into his side, "Places like this scare me. You're right, everything is so," she paused, "so perfect. I'd miss the fast pace living of the city."

Laughing, he asked, "Why did you ask if you don't want it?"

"I guess since so much has happened with us today, it got me thinking. We're getting married and having a baby; people who are doing that tend to look at places like this. I was just making sure you didn't want it. I didn't think you did."

"And right you are, sweet pea. We'd both go crazy in a place like this. Can you imagine the looks you'd get riding your motorcycle through town fast or I'd get analyzing some parent at our daughter's dance recital?"

Happy laughed, "We'd have to move every two years. And we'd probably have to give up work."

Toby groaned, "I cannot go into private practice - I would lose my mind with the mind numbing sessions. We'll just stay where we're at and keep things the same."

"I think that's a good idea. Our normal is just right for us. There's no need to mess it up. But, we are going to have to make some changes at home." Happy commented after watching a young mother push her baby past them. She looked up at Toby, "What do you think we should do for the nursery?"

He shrugged, "You already know what I want to do."

She rolled her eyes and shoved him, but said with a grin, "We are not making her room into a castle. I already told you this."

Toby pouted, "But she's our little princess. She deserves to be treated like one."

"Not like that, Doc," Happy said, capturing his hand again. 

Sighing, he squeezed her hand, "I don't know. What do babies like?"

"Do you really think I would know?"

Toby laughed and shook his head, "Probably not. What about animals? Little kids like animals."

She shook her head, "No, I don't think I want to do something like that. I think I like the idea of just keeping it simple. Maybe pick a color we like?"

"We could do that. I'm a master painter."

"I don't think so, buddy," she giggled.

Toby scoffed, "And why would you say that? All the walls in our apartment are painted."

"And I did that. You don't remember this yet, but you wanted to surprise me when I was out of town one weekend. You decided you would paint our living room. When I got home, there was more paint on the ceiling, floor, and you, than on the walls." She laughed while remembering it, "It took you a week to get all the paint off of you. I had to fix the painting and refinish the floors. And I did it all without getting a speck of paint on me." She leaned up and kissed his cheek, "But you tried, baby, and that's all that counts."

"I'm sure I'd be better at it this time."

"You keep telling yourself that."

"Okay, well I'm not letting you paint, not while you're pregnant. That's not a risk I'm willing to take," he said, sliding his arm around her shoulders. 

"I didn't think you would. That's why I already asked Paige. She said she'd get the rest of the team to help."

"Oh boy, four geniuses and two regulars trying to paint, while another genius tries to micromanage from the living room. Sounds like fun."

Happy jabbed his stomach, "I do not micromanage."

Toby looked down at her, "When it comes to your babies you do. Just last week when Walter was using your robot for surveillance in the abandoned building, you hovered and continually told him what to do. I think the only reason he didn't say anything is because he's more afraid of you now that you're pregnant."

"I just want things done the right way."

"I know that sweetheart, which is why, I, your loving fiancé, will make sure everything is done exactly to your liking."

Good feelings rushed through Happy at hearing Toby say that; she didn't think she'd get to hear him say he was her fiancé anytime soon, if ever again. She raised up on her toes to kiss him, "Perf-"

"Tobias Curtis? Is that you?" a voice said from in front of them, interrupting her. 

Toby and Happy looked up to see a man walking towards them. He looked to be a few years old than Toby. Slowly, a smile formed on Toby's face. 

"George Edwards, good to see you man," Toby exclaimed, giving him an awkward hug. He looked uncomfortable. 

"You too, bud."

Toby slid his arm back around Happy's waist and immediately relaxed, "George, this is my fiancée, Happy. Happy, George. George was an undergrad at Harvard while I was there. We lived next to each other for a couple years, became frequent acquaintances."

Happy blushed at hearing him introduce her like that and reached out to shake his hand with a polite smile, "So you're the one who got Toby into all that trouble in school."

George laughed and shook his head, "Nah, no way. Toby knew how to do that all by himself. I still tell people about that time that snuck out a cadaver from the hospital and-"

"Okay, we don't need to hear that," Toby stopped him, blushing slightly. 

"You're probably right. So what are you up to now, man? Are you a super shrink now? Still can't get over the fact that you were in medical school at 16."

Chuckling, Toby told him about how they both work for Scorpion as government contractors.

"Sounds like you're living the life - the job, the girl, and a family on the way," he commented, gesturing to Happy's stomach. 

"I'm not pregnant," she deadpanned, staring him straight in the eye. 

The fear that crossed George's face almost made her crack. He shifted uncomfortably and shot a panicked glance at Toby, who looked amused. "I-I'm so sorry. I, uh, I shouldn't-" 

Happy let out a smile, "I'm kidding. I'm pregnant." 

The utter relief on his face was immediate. He started laughing along with Toby and Happy, "She's perfect for you, man." 

Toby looked over and pulled her into his side, kissing the top of her head, "Yeah, I know."

"It was really great to see you, Toby. If you ever find yourself back here, look me up. I have a law firm just down the street."

"Sounds good. See you later man."

Happy nodded at him as they started walking away. 

"Wow, talk about a blast from the past. He was the only one who never told me I was too young to do things at Harvard. And he always invited me to do things with him, but he always wanted me to do things for him in return."

"Have you changed your mind about living in a place like this?" Happy asked with a laugh, "You could have more friends like that."

Toby shook his head, "Hell no. I'm am perfectly satisfied with what I have. In fact, I would much rather-"

But Happy didn't hear him ramble on, as she became distracted by the sight in front of her. She stopped suddenly and stared at the window in front of her, fixated on the display, more particularly, on an item in the display. She started walking towards it slowly. Toby, who had finally realized she wasn't walking by his side, made his way back to her. 

"What're looking at, love bug?" he asked, coming up behind her. 

Happy pointed to the display, "That," she whispered. 

Toby looked and saw a baby display in the window, "It's a nice display."

She shook her head, "No, not the display. Look at the stuffed animal. I had one just like it."

"The elephant?"

"Mmhmm," she nodded, "It was the only thing I had from my life before foster care. I hid it in my sweatshirt pocket when I was moving from place to place so they couldn't take it away from me."

Toby looked at the elephant again. It looked soft and cushy, perfect for a kid of any age. It was light grey with small purple and pink dots covering it. He could imagine a small Happy Quinn carrying it around in secret. 

"Let's get it," he said quietly, placing his hands on her shoulders. 

Happy looked back at him, "Are you sure? It's pretty impractical. She won't even be able to understand what it is until she's older. She may not even like it. And she has the blanket thing from Cabe already."

Toby smiled gently at her, "I'm sure. You like it, I like it, who cares if it's impractical. We can use it as a decoration until she's old enough. And we can spoil our little bug just a bit, she can have more than one lovey."

She hummed in agreement, "It would settle the question about what we should with her room. We could paint it a light grey and find purple and pink decorations. Her crib and other furniture could be white. It could be perfect, Doc."

He chuckled, "Happy Quinn wants to decorate in pink?"

She turned to face him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She rolled her eyes, "You can shut up now. Just because I hate pink doesn't mean she can't have pink things." She shrugged, "And besides, we'll use more purple than pink."

Toby kissed her forehead, "So, since you have this picture in your mind, does this mean we can go in there and buy the elephant?"

She smiled, "Let's do it."

They walked into the store and Happy could barely contain her smile. She had yet to buy anything for the baby, so this was a big deal. She hadn't wanted to buy just anything; she had wanted it to be special. And this was it. She had loved her elephant when she was little. It was her only friend for a long time, but she lost it when she ran from her last foster home. It still bothered her more than she'd like to admit. 

"We just bought our girl her first gift from both of us," Toby noted as they walked out of the store. 

"This was my idea," Happy said, grabbing his hand. 

"I think I remember convincing you to buy it."

Happy sighed, but didn't say anything - technically he was right. 

"You were pretty happy in there," Toby commented, tilting his head to the store. 

"I'm always Happy," she smirked. 

He laughed, "That's not what I meant, babe."

She shrugged, "I guess I was. I haven't bought anything for her yet and it was kind of exciting."

"I could tell you felt good in there."

Happy gave him a questioning look.

"You didn't even correct the saleswoman when she was telling you the wrong way on how to work the stroller." 

"I honesty wasn't even listening to her," she laughed. 

"It's nice to see you like this - not worried about anything."

She smiled up at him, "It's nice to feel this way. I don't think I've ever felt this way." 

Toby hugged her into his side, "I'm glad you're happy, sweetheart. You deserve it."

"Doc?" Happy said a few minutes later, breaking the silence they had found themselves in. 

"Hmmm?"

"We've started planning. This is happening."

"This is happening," he said, kissing her temple. 

"I just got really, really excited. We know what we want to do for her room, we bought her a toy, she already has more clothes than me. We're doing this, babe, really doing this," she looked up at him with a sparkle in her eye that Toby's hadn't seen before. 

"Well you're almost halfway through the pregnancy," he joked, "I'd say it's time we start doing things to get ready. Although, I know you've secretly been researching cribs. I know what you do in your free time at work, Hap," he winked. 

"So? I want to make sure we get the one that most soundly built. I don't want anything happening to her."

"Trust me, with us as parents and Scorpion as her family, nothing will ever happen to her. We won't let anything bad happen to her."

"Do you ever regret not having more friends outside of Scorpion?" Happy asked quietly, taking a seat on a bench nearby. 

"Nope, not really. I never really fit in with anyone until I met Sylvester, Walter, and you. Couldn't you tell from earlier with George?" he said, tracing patterns on her knee. 

"You two seemed to get along though."

Toby sighed, "He was closest thing I had to a friend in school, but honestly, he just used me. I didn't care at the time because I was getting invited to things. I felt like a regular kid when I was out with him, even if he was four years older than me. I never fit in though, not like I do with Scorpion. Why are you bringing this up?"

Happy laid her head on his shoulder, "Just talking about getting ready for her got me thinking. I'm just worried our girl won't know how to make friends, since we're so bad at it and have so few. I feel bad for her, we're not the best role models."

"Our friends are the greatest friends anyone could have though. And we'll love her more than anything; that's all she needs. We turned out the way we did because of who our parents were. Our parents didn't raise us how parents should. We're not going to do that to her. We will be there for her and she'll know how much we love her."

"Do you think we'll be good parents?" Happy asked worriedly. She didn't want to believe that she could fail at something, but it terrified her that she might mess this up. And this was the most important thing she was ever going to do. 

Toby smiled and kissed her lightly, "Just the fact that you're already worried about her means that you'll be great, Hap. Stop worrying. We'll make mistakes, but everyone does. I promise you, you'll be an awesome mom." He kissed her again and stood, holding out his hand to help her up, "Now can we get back to where we were a few minutes ago? When we were happy and talking about getting ready for her?"

"Yes, let's," she said with a smile. "I'm sorry about that."

Toby waved it off, "Blame it on pregnancy hormones."

Happy laughed, "Pregnancy hormones, I like that excuse."

"Next weekend then?" Toby asked, turning to her, "We'll get the team together and start on her room?"

She slid her hands around his waist, "It depends on our work week. We still have to clear out the room, figure out where all that junk is going, clean it, and-"

Toby silenced her with a kiss, "So that's a no then."

Happy laughed, "It's a 'we have a lot to do and I just now realized how much' - painting, shopping, baby proofing, crib, car-"

He kissed her again, "And you're worried you'll be a bad mom. You're great already."

"Think Walter will give me the rest of the pregnancy off to get ready?" Happy asked, ignoring him. 

"Don't think so babe," Toby laughed, "But you don't need it. You're Happy Freakin' Quinn, you can do anything you want."

She sighed, "I hope so."

"I know so," he said, kissing her nose, "Think we should go home now?"

Happy nodded and started walking towards where they parked, "We need to stop by the home improvement store on the way home and pick up some paint swatches for her room."

"Or," he said, pulling her into his chest, his hands rest on her stomach, "we could go home, make dinner, and," he kissed the side of her neck, "you know."

She pulled out of his arms and continued walking, "We need to start looking at paint colors. So we'll pick up take out on our way home and eat in the car, go to the store, and then go home, to," she looked back and winked at him, "you know."

"Nothing will stop you when you have your mind made up, will it?"

She smirked and opened the car door, shaking her head. 

Toby laughed loudly, "Happy Freakin' Quinn, I love you."

"Love you too baby. Now hurry up, we need to get home, because now that you mentioned it, I really want to 'you know'."

"We could just go home first," he whispered, gently sliding his hand up and down her thigh. 

She grabbed his hand and placed it back on his thigh, "Nope, baby first, us later." She took a quick glance at him and smirked, "But that doesn't mean we can't have some fun. First one to make the other one beg wins."

"Wins what?" Toby asked, very interested. 

Happy stopped at a red light and turned to him, sliding her hand up his arm slowly and around to the back of his neck. She curled her fingers into his hair and pulled him to her, kissing him quickly, but deeply, "Anything you want," she breathed.

Toby swallowed hard and kissed her again, moving his hand to caress her thigh. Happy pulled back quickly and moved his hand again. The light turned green and she started driving. Toby tried to place his hand back on her thigh, but she stopped him. 

"Hands off, Doc. No hands allowed, it's not fair since I'm driving. So keep your magic hands to yourself."

Toby laughed, "Game on, baby. May the best person win."

Happy smirked and pressed her foot harder on the gas, "Oh, I fully intend to."

And to neither of their disappointment, she did.


	10. Preparing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team helps Toby and Happy prepare for the arrival of their baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is sticking with me and continuing to read this story, even if I'm really bad at updated consistently. I really appreciate all your encouragement. I hope you enjoy this latest update! Comments and reviews are much appreciated!

Toby was nervous - he couldn't seem to shake the butterflies that had grown in his stomach. He continued his pacing, trying to control his breathing as he looked out over the city from the roof. From up there, everything looked so small; the lights from the cars speeding on the highway, the lights turning on as people got home for the night, the hustle and bustle of the city. It was comforting in a strange way, but he still couldn't push aside what he was feeling. He had almost lost Happy again that day, shaking him to his core. 

She and Walter had to board a plane mid-flight in order to stop a potential terrorist attack. Happy had to disable the bomb in the luggage compartment, while Walter worked to get rid of the virus that entered the plane's computers, allowing the terrorists to control all mechanics on the plane. Walter had been able to gain control, allowing the pilots to land the plane and evacuate everyone, even before Happy could take the bomb apart. However, something happened and the hackers regained control, taking both Walter and Happy, along with the bomb back up into the air. 

For the half hour Happy was stuck up there, Toby had never been more scared. He could hear how terrified she was, but she continued to put in every effort to keep a level head. Toby had to talk her down a few times, his voice in her head helping her to focus on her task of disabling the bomb. By the time she was finished, and they were sure the bomb couldn't go off, Walter and Sly had regained control of the plane. Toby let himself breath a little easier once a trained pilot came in and guided the plane back to the runway via a modified simulator they had created out of an old gaming system. 

The second Happy stepped foot in the garage, she ran to Toby, wrapping her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest. He pulled her close, holding her as tightly as her could. For a long time, they just stood there, neither one talking. He would press the occasional kiss to the top of her head, as her silent tears soaked his shirt. 

Eventually, though, they pulled apart. Toby swept the hair off her forehead before kissing it gently. 

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" he asked quietly. 

She nodded and said shakily, "I am now. But-" she bit her lip, "but I was so scared, Doc. I didn't think we would make it. I never would've seen you again."

He cupped her face and forced her to look into his eyes, "But you're here now. That's all that matters."

She nodded again, giving him a small smile, "Thanks for being there with me today. Talking to me."

"Of course," he whispered, pulling her to him again, "I will always be here for you. I love you," he murmured before he kissed her gently. "Meet me on the roof in 15 minutes?"

"Okay," she said with a small smile. Raising up on her tiptoes, she kissed him one more time, then turned to head to her desk, paperwork already waiting for her. 

"God," Toby thought, the honking of a car in the distance returning him to the present. He ran his hands through his hair, "What if today hadn't worked out? What if they hadn't come home?" That thought alone crippled him. He knew he couldn't go a day without Happy, let alone the rest of his life. She made him whole and the thought of losing her was more than he could handle. 

"Hey," Happy said in a soft voice from behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist. She pressed a kiss to the center of his back. "What are you thinking about so intensely?"

He turned in her arms and smiled lovingly down at her, "Today, you, us, life," he answered slowly, placing his hands on her hips. "I'm just so glad today turned out okay for us. I was scared to death."

"Me too," she admitted, resting her head on his chest, taking in a deep breath. His scent and strong, steady arms were two of her favorite things in the world. She always felt safe and loved when she was standing with him like this. 

Toby pushed her back and took a few steps away from her, inhaling slowly, trying to calm his fast beating heart. 

"Toby, what's wrong?" she asked, suddenly concerned. 

He gave her a small smile and shook his head, "Nothing's wrong, babe. Don't worry. I just-" he stopped and thought for a second about what his next words were going to be. "I just have something I need to do. I've been wanting to do for awhile now." He chuckled to himself, "This definitely isn't how I thought it would go though."

"What are you talking about, Doc?" she asked, stepping towards him, needing to be close after the day she had. 

He grabbed her hands, kissing the back of them, before locking their fingers together. "I've been thinking about this for some time now. I thought maybe I could hide it in your toolbox and then ask for your help building something, but we both know I would never build anything myself, I'd just have you do it for me." He grinned, "I even considered putting it in a cake, but knowing our luck, you'd eat it."

Happy had no idea what he was talking about, but couldn't help but laugh along with him. They both knew her love of sweets had no end. 

Toby continued, "I tried to think of something romantic and cheesy, but I knew you'd hate that. And I don't know, this just feels right." He squeezed her hands, "After today, after almost losing you," he rolled his eyes, "again, I realized that I can't go another day without you. Life is too short to wait for the perfect moments. You have to grab the moments you have and make the most of them." He leaned in, giving her the gentlest of all kisses. "Happy, I love you and I never want to be apart from you. I want to grow old with you and just be with you everyday for the rest of my life."

Happy gasped, realizing what was happening. She stared in to Toby's eyes brimming with love. Everything else disappeared from sight and thought. There was only her and Toby, on the roof of the garage where they worked. The place they met each other, where they became friends, and then eventually fell in love. And now this moment was happening. She could barely contain her grin. Raising on her toes, she kissed him excitedly, "I want that too, Toby."

"Would you be quiet?" he laughed, "Let me finish."

She blushed and nodded, pulling her lips between her teeth so she wouldn't say anything else and ruin the moment. 

"God, I love you, Happy Quinn," he murmured, wrapping one hand around the back of her neck to pull her to him. He kissed her deeply, moaning into her mouth. 

She pushed him back, slightly out of breath, and looked at him expectantly. 

"Right," he said, shaking his head, "I was in the middle of something."

She grinned and nodded again, rocking back on her heels in excitement.

His hand moved to her face, gently tracing his fingers down her face and neck. "You are so beautiful," he murmured to himself. Then clearing his throat, he began again, "Life without you is empty and meaningless. You've shown me what it really means to love someone and have them love you in return, mistakes and all. We've been through so much together and we've come out stronger on the other side. I want to continue doing that. I want to face life and it's challenges with you." Stepping back, he knelt down on one knee. 

Happy let another gasp escape, tears suddenly filling her eyes. 

Toby grabbed her hand in one of his own shaky hands, the other going to the pocket of his jeans. His thumb lightly rubbed over her knuckles, before pressing his fingers against her pulse point, feeling how fast her heart was beating, it was in time with his. Looking up, he grinned, happy tears of his own filling his eyes, "So Hap, will you marry me?"

"Yes," she whispered, pulling him up to kiss him deeply, "I love you, Doc."

"Love you too, sugar pie," he whispered back. His grin was splitting his face as he slid the ring on her finger. "Everything's perfect now."

She grinned up at him, "I never thought that could happen to me."

"Me either, baby. Me either," he murmured, pulling her close again for another toe curling kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby's eyes flew open, a grin lighting up his entire face. He sat up quickly and looked around for Happy. He had laid down on the couch earlier, fighting a headache, while she was napping herself. He didn't see her, but he needed to find her.

"Happy!" he yelled out through their apartment.

He heard something fall to the floor from the second bedroom, followed by a "Damn it". He chuckled as he stood up, hurrying towards the bedroom, running into Happy as she came shooting out. 

"Damn it, Doc, what's wrong?" she asked, quickly giving him the once over. 

"Nothing," he reassured her, "nothing's wrong."

"Then what do you want?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips. 

It was then that he noticed what she had on. She was wearing an old t-shirt of his with a pair of her oldest sweatpants. Both were covered in some type of goop. On her hips, hanging just below her constantly growing baby bump, was her tool belt. 

"What the hell were you doing?" he asked with a laugh, wiping off more of that goop from her face. 

She crinkled her nose at him and hit his hand away, "I was working on the baby's room. I took everything on the walls down and was filling the holes, while your lazy ass slept. Did you forget the team is coming over later to help paint?"

Toby smiled gently at her. Reaching out, he squeezed the top of her arms and gently rubbed them, "Babe, we have time still. You need to stop worrying."

She pulled out his grasp, "We really don't have that much time, Toby. I'm already at 22 weeks. That's over half the time. And we've done nothin, zlich. We don't even have furniture or bedding for her yet. All we have is that elephant. So tell me why I shouldn't worry?"

He fought his grin as he bent over. Holding on to Happy's hips, he brought his mouth close to her stomach, "Hey baby girl, your mommy's going all crazy today." Happy tangled her fingers into his hair, while he pressed a kiss to her stomach. 

In the past month, not only had Toby and Happy gotten back to where they were before in their relationship, but Happy's bump really started popping out. She went from a small, barely there, bump to an obviously pregnant belly. They would get smiles and the occasional "aw" from a random passerby, which always caused her to blush. And Happy always grumbled in the morning, saying she had nothing to wear or that she looked like a bowling ball. But Toby thought she looked beautiful and he told her that every day, while reminding her that she was only going to get bigger before their daughter was there. She would roll her eyes at him and tell him that she hated him, to which he would respond by kissing her gently and then talking to the baby. Every chance Toby got, he would talk to the baby. If he wasn't doing that, then he was kissing her stomach or gently running his hands over her bump. 

"But don't worry, little bug," he continued, "when you get here, she'll be as cool as a cucumber. You're gonna have the best momma out there."

Happy pulled gently on his hair, leading his head to her hers. She smiled gently and kissed him softly. "Be as cute as you want," she murmured against his lips, "but you're still going to have to help out in the room later."

"You can plan on it," he breathed against her lips, kissing her again, "I don't want you overdoing it, especially as you get further along. So from here on out, I'll do anything you tell me."

Smiling, she stepped back, resting her hands on his chest, tapping out patterns with her fingers, "Anyways, you interrupted your pregnant fiancée with a scream while she was trying to get ready for your daughter. What was that about?"

"Oh," Toby said excitedly, eyebrows raising to his hairline, "Oh, guess what?"

"What?" she asked with a chuckle.

"I remembered our proposal," he grinned, sliding his hands over her hips. 

"Well, I hope so," she said with a smirk, "It was just last month...in our bed."

"No," he said shaking his head. He kissed her swiftly, "No, our proposal. The proposal, on the roof, after the case where you almost died on the plane."

"Oh," she said quietly, "The proposal. Wait," a grin grew on her face, "Our proposal. The one over 5 months ago?" 

He nodded quickly, unable to hide his grin, "I remember everything about that night. Your heart beating with mine. How beautiful you looked with tears ready to spill over at any minute. How terrified I was when you were in the plane. How happy I was when you said yes. Everything, Hap. I remember it."

"You remembered," she whispered, a tear of happiness falling to her cheek. 

"I remembered."

"I can't believe it," she mumbled, wrapping her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. 

He rubbed his hands up and down her back, "It's happening more often now, baby. I'm getting back more memories."

She looked up at him, resting her chin on his chest, "Does this- Do you think this means they will all come back?"

He smiled down at her, "I don't know, but I hope so."

"Me too," she said quietly, raising up to kiss him. She stepped back again, wiping her cheeks, "Okay," she said with a light tone, "as great of news this is, we need to get back to the baby's room. The team will be here in a few hours."

Toby reached out, pulling her to him with a smirk on his face. Leaning down, his kissed her neck teasingly. "Well, that means we have time," he whispered seductively into her ear, biting it gently. "A hour or two to celebrate, an hour or two to get the room ready."

Happy rolled her head to the side, exposing more of her neck to him. "Toby," she sighed. 

He lifted his head, knowing that tone. She wasn't going to give in to him. Her mind was elsewhere - this time on the room. 

She cupped his face, "I want to, I do. I can't even tell you how happy this makes me and how much I want you right now. But..."

"I get it," he said with a reassuring smile, "you're worried about the room."

She nodded and looked down, playing with her hands, "I just want everything to be perfect for her. Give her everything I didn't have. And that's what this room is. It's silly, I know, but I never had a room to myself, one that was designed for me by someone who loved me." She looked up at him, "I want her to grow up always knowing how much we love her. Because I do, Doc, I love her so much already."

Toby hugged her and kissed the top of her head, "I know you do. I do too. She's most definitely going to know that." Taking her hand, he started leading her to the soon-to-be nursery, "Let's get going then."

"Thanks, Doc."

"Anytime," he smiled and pushed open the door, "So what all do we have to do?" 

He stopped in his tracks when he saw the room. 

"I know it looks bad," Happy said, walking around him with a nervous look.

"Happy," he groaned, "it looks like a bomb went off in here. What the hell happened?"

The bed that used to be in there was taken apart, the pieces strewn across the room. A chair was tipped over the in the corner near an end table. Everything that had been hanging on the wall was piled in the center of the room. Boxes filled with all of the extra junk stored in the room covered the rest of the floor. 

She shifted and looked around, "I was trying to be organized about it, but I had forgotten just how much junk we had in here. Once I moved one thing, I found something to be packed up. And well now," she sighed and threw her hands up in frustration, "now I'm so over my head that I don't know what to do. Which is why I started repairing the walls. I know how to do that," she looked down at her hands resting on her stomach. 

"What aren't you telling me?"

"Uh," she swallowed hard, "promise you won't get mad at me?"

Toby crossed his arms, "It depends. What did you do?"

"Well, like I said, I was repairing the walls, but some of the holes are too high to reach, especially with this stomach in the way. So I got a chair and-"

Toby groaned and rolled his head back, "Don't tell me that you fell off."

"I did," she admitted quietly, "The stomach threw me off. I can't bend like I used to be able to. And you distracted me when you called out. I thought something was wrong, so I was startled and lost my balance."

"Happy," Toby drew out slowly, giving her a firm look, "Are you okay? Is the baby okay?"

She rubbed her stomach, "Yeah, we're both fine. I sort of caught myself on the way down. My arm slammed into the end table, breaking the fall some." She lifted up her arm to show Toby, "It's already starting to bruise."

Toby sighed again and moved closer to examine her arm. "You're lucky nothing more happened, Hap. Why didn't you come get me?"

She shrugged and looked at him for a beat, before looking down, her cheeks slightly pink, "You were sleeping. I didn't want to bother you."

"Happy," he said, placing his hands on her shoulders, "you know I love you, so please take this in the best way. But you've got to stop being so damn independent. You have me, we're about to start a family. You're not alone any more, so please, for my own sake, if not for yours, let me help. Force me to help."

She glared up at him, "Well then stop saying we have time. If don't know if you've noticed, but I'm kind of freaking out here. Everything needs to be perfect before she arrives."

"And it will be," he murmured, pulling her into his arms. "Now you're going to put ice on that arm and relax."

"But Toby," she began to protest. 

"I know, I know. The room." He spun around, looking at everything that had to be done. "I don't know what we're going to do with all of this stuff."

They thought for a moment.

"What about the garage?" Happy suggested, lighting up, "There's an empty room near my workshop. It's been empty for years. We can store our stuff there for the time being."

"Perfect," Toby said, pushing her towards the door, "Now ice and relaxing. I don't care where you sit, but just sit somewhere. And you can supervise me picking up the mess that is this room."

Happy laughed, knowing that they would somehow work this all out and their daughter would have the perfect room, "Deal. I like bossing you around."

"Don't I know it," Toby muttered under his breath, picking up the first box.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Toby, did you move everything to my truck?" Happy called out, throwing her hair up into a messy bun, coming out from their room. She had changed into different clothes since the team was coming over at any minute. She put on a shirt that Paige had bought her that showed off her stomach a little more than normal. Paige was always bugging her about showing it off and not hiding it, and since she was coming over to help, it was the least Happy could do.

"Yes, dear," Toby said, annoyed. She had asked him that five times already. 

Happy stopped in front of him and glared up at him, "No need to be snarky. I was just making sure."

"You've made sure five times now, Hap. You don't need to keep asking," he said, cracking his knuckles, a clear sign he didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"I don't want everyone to come over to a mess," she continued, clearly not ready to let it go. 

"Hap, dearest," Toby said in a sugary sweet voice, trying to stay calm, "They been over here a hundred times and it's never really bothered you before."

Happy absentmindedly ran her hands over her stomach, "It's different this time. They're not coming over just to hang out. They're coming over to help us get ready." She looked down, "I don't want them to see how unprepared we are."

Toby could help but laugh, to which she looked up at him with a glare on her face, "This isn't funny, Toby."

"Sweetheart, yes it is. You're overthinking this whole thing. The team isn't going to think anything like that. And we have time, so please, please stop getting so anxious. It's not good for you or the baby."

"I don't know what I'm doing here, Toby."

"And there we go," he said with a smile. Taking her hand, he led her over the couch, "That's your real problem. You get uncomfortable when you don't know how to do something, so you try to put on this face, pretending that you know exactly what you're doing. But, baby, this is your family we're talking about. They know that even Happy Freakin' Quinn doesn't know how to do everything."

"I don't like this feeling, Doc," she whispered, laying her head on his shoulder, "I'm always prepared for everything, but right now, I feel so unprepared."

"But that's why you have us, to help. I said it earlier and I'm going to say it again, you aren't doing this alone. You'll be fine." He kissed her forehead and stood up, "Heck, after tonight, our baby will have a painted room. That's a step in the right direction."

She smiled and took his outstretched hand to stand up, "You're right. I don't like it when you're always right."

Toby laughed, "So we're good now? No more trying to overcompensate and ask me things like 20 times."

She shoved him gently, "It was only five times."

"Ah ha," he exclaimed, "you did know what you were doing."

She just rolled her eyes at him and crinkled her nose when he kissed the tip of it. Before either of them could anything though, there was a knock at the door. They went to answer it, welcoming the team in. 

"Hey guys! Ralph's sorry he couldn't come, but he got invited to a sleepover and I didn't want him to miss that," Paige exclaimed walking through the door, a large smile on her face.

"We brought pizza," Walter grumbled, balancing three pizza boxes in his hands.

"You didn't have to do that," Happy said, "I could've sent Toby out for it."

"But Toby totally doesn't mind that he doesn't have to go out now," Toby spoke up, taking the pizza from Walter and setting it on the coffee table. 

"See?" Walter said turning to Paige, "I told you it was unnecessary."

Paige rolled her eyes, "Walter, I told you already, when there's a gathering, it's proper manners to bring something. And since we're here to help out for the baby, it's only nice to bring dinner. Happy and Toby are under enough stress as it is. They don't need to worry about providing dinner for us on top of it all. It's called being friendly, Walter."

Walter opened his mouth to protest, but Cabe interrupted him, "And I brought beer."

"My man," Toby clapped him on the back, taking the case from him. He gestured for everyone to take a seat.

Happy peaked inside the pizza boxes as Sly passed out the napkins and plates, "What kind did you get?"

Sylvester spoke up, "We made sure to order something for everyone. Half veggie, half cheese for me and Paige and meat lovers for the guys."

"So the third?" Happy asked excitedly. 

Paige nodded, "Pineapple, onion, and feta for you."

Happy took a piece out and took a large bite, moaning in delight, "You're the best."

"I hope that whole pizza is for Happy," Toby said with a laugh, "or else we're in for a grumpy Hap tonight."

Happy flipped him off, her mouth too full of pizza to say anything. 

Paige smiled, "Yes, it is all for her. I remember the cravings I had from Ralph's pregnancy. If anyone got in the way of me and my food, it was game over for them."

Happy laughed and hummed in agreement, nodding her head. 

"I don't understand why the whole thing is for her though," Walter said, "It's not like she's going to be doing any work tonight."

Paige set down her pizza and stared at him icily, "What do you call growing a person in your body then, Walter?"

He shrugged and took a bite of his pizza, speaking around it, "Just doing what nature intended her to do."

Happy choked on her pizza, "What the hell, Walter?"

"Oh, you're in for it now," Toby muttered, taking of sip from his drink. He reached his hand out to pat Happy's thigh, hoping it would keep her quiet. It did - she was in shock about what Walter had said. 

"Can we not do this now?" Sly said, "This is supposed to be a happy night."

"Walter, I swear," Paige exclaimed, "you can be so stupid sometimes."

"What did I do?"

Paige groaned and threw down her napkin, "You can't insult a pregnant women like that. Happy comes in to work day in and day out and does her job without any complaints. She's saving your ass daily, all while being exhausted and sore from her pregnancy. Yet all you do is make jerky comments directed towards her. Do you have any idea what it's like being pregnant?"

"Well, studies say-"

"I don't give a crap about what the studies say. I want to know if you, personally, have any idea what it's like being pregnant."

"Well, no. Of course not," he responded, flustered. 

"Well I do," Paige stood, gathering the empty plates, "And honey, you have no room to speak. I'm going to go throw this away and by the time I get back you better have apologized and everything is back to normal. Got it?"

He nodded and looked at Happy sheepishly, "I'm sorry, Happy. I didn't mean to infer-"

"Whatever," Happy interrupted him sharply, "I don't want-" But she was stopped by a knock at the door. "I'm gonna go get that," she said, standing quickly. 

As she walked away, she heard Toby say, "Well Mr. 197, she may not want to hear it, but that's my fiancée you insulted, so you can apologize to me. Man, that's never something you do to a woman, pregnant or not."

She didn't hear the rest of it as she opened the door. 

"Dad! Hey, you made it," she said, giving him a hug. 

"Of course I did," he smiled, "It is my grandbaby we're talking about. I'm sorry I'm late. I got held up at work and then I got halfway here, just to remember I forgot something at home."

"It's okay. I'm just glad you could come."

"How're you feeling?"

She smiled and laid her hands on her stomach, "Good, really good. A little tired and a lot worried, but overall good."

"I'm so glad to hear that."

"Patrick, hi," Toby said coming up behind Happy, reaching out to shake his hand, "Good to see you."

"And you as well. How are you doing?"

Toby wrapped an arm around Happy's back and smiled down at her, "I'm great. How could I not be?"

Patrick laughed, "Good answer."

"Dad, there's some pizza over there. Help yourself."

"Thanks, I just might do that." He smiled fondly, "You know when your mom was pregnant with you, she always had a craving for pineapple, onion, and feta pizza. I never understood that."

Happy was stunned speechless while Toby laughed out loud, "Haps here craves the same thing. It's so strange."

Patrick laughed along with him, saying before he turned to join the team, "Yeah, personally, I'm just a pepperoni man. I don't get it."

"It's sweet, salty, and a little tangy," Happy grumbled under her breath as he walked away. 

"Eat whatever you want, cupcake," Toby laughed, kissing her head. 

"Mmm, cupcakes," Happy licked her lips, grinning up at him. 

"Later," he grinned back, "because right now, you have to go tell a bunch of weirdos how you want the room painted."

"Think they'll like it?"

Toby shrugged, "Who cares? As long as we like, that's all that matters."

"So, Happy," Paige called from the couch, "how are we doing the baby's room?"

"Oh, I was researching the best way to paint, and they say the best way is to go in a 'W' motion until the first layer is on. Then to go back over a second time, smoothing out all lines," Sly said excitedly. 

"I'm sure that's right, son," Cabe said with a smile, "but I think Paige was asking more about colors. Am I right?"

Paige nodded and laughed as Sylvester blushed, "Yeah, but that tip is very helpful."

"Are we all going to be in the room painting?" Patrick asked. 

"Well, I'm not," Haply said. 

"I think it would be very inefficient if we were to all be in there. We'll each paint differently and go at different speeds," Walter spoke up. 

Paige rolled her eyes. "Walt, it's not about efficiency, it's about working together to help our friends. We're here to have a good time and celebrate the baby."

"Okay, good times. I can do that," Walter said with an awkward smile, trying to not cause any more problems, "Well then, let's get going." He stood and started walking to the second bedroom. 

"Whoa, not so fast, muchacho," Toby said, grabbing his arm, "You don't know what we're doing yet."

"Oh right, I just assumed you'd go with pink. Don't most people who are having a girl go with that color?"

"Well, yeah," Toby said slowly, "But we're not most people."

"So, what are you doing then?" Paige asked, barely able to hold in her excitement. 

"Let me show you," Happy said quietly, heading towards the room. 

Once they got there, she and Toby went to the closet and pulled out the paint, brushes, rollers, and tarps. 

"So," Happy began, almost nervously, "I wanted to keep it kind of simple."

"And I told her, the simpler, the better for us. We may be geniuses, but the more complicated the task, the more complicated the solution we come up with," Toby laughed, pulling her into her side. 

She rolled her eyes, but let herself sink into his side. "Anyways, we found this elephant at a store, so we pulled the colors from that. The walls are going to be a light grey-"

"Grey?" Paige interrupted, sounding disappointed. 

"Yes, grey," Happy said. She pointed to three of the walls, "These walls will be solid grey and the last wall with be grey and light lavender stripes. Cabe and Dad, I'm putting you two in charge of the striped wall. Toby will make a mess, Sly will try too hard making it perfect, and Walter will just make it way more complicated than it has to be. I don't trust them."

The team laughed in agreement and started making moves to paint. 

"So your colors are purple and grey?" Paige said, "I like it. It really suits you guys."

Toby grinned, tightening his hold on Happy, "Yeah, those are our colors. Well, that and pink."

"A very light, pale pink," Happy corrected him. 

Paige clapped her hands, "I knew even Happy Quinn couldn't stay away from pink for her daughter."

"Yeah, yeah," Happy grumbled, pulling away from Toby's arm, "Are you guys going to get started?"

"Just waiting for you to leave the room," Sylvester said, "We don't want the fumes to affect you in any way."

"You do know short term exposure to the paint fumes is fine. It's not like I'm going to be huffing it or anything."

"We just don't want to take the chance of anything hurting you, Hap," Toby whispered in her ear. 

"You know," Walter said, "I'm sure we could create a high powered fan that will dry the paint faster."

"Don't even think about it, Walter," Paige admonished. 

"Hey, Happy? Toby? Can I talk to you guys for a second?" Patrick said from behind them. 

They turned, "Yeah?"

"I have something for you two in my truck. Well, only if you want it," he said nervously, "Can you come down with me, so that I can show it to you?"

"Sure," Toby said with a smile. They followed Patrick out of the room, leaving Sylvester's cries behind. 

"Paige, no, that's too much paint. You're doing wrong."

"So what do you have, Patrick?" Toby asked, never one to let his curiosity simmer. 

He laughed, "Just a little something that you might want to use for the baby." He shook his head in disbelief, "I still can't believe you're having a baby. I'm going to be a grandpa. I never thought that would happen to me." He stopped and hugged Happy suddenly, "Thank you for everything. I know I don't deserve you after what I did, but I'm so grateful to be back in your life."

"Me too, Dad," Happy whispered. 

The continued the trek to the truck in silence, no one sure exactly what to say. Once they got to the truck, Patrick cleared his throat and opened the end of it. 

"Like I said, you don't have to take it if you don't want to." He and Toby climbed up in the bed of the truck and placed the item he brought on the ground. 

It was old fashioned, wooden changing table. It was beaten up, but still beautiful. Happy ran her hand over it, bending down to check the stability and craftsmanship of it. 

"Dad," she breathed out, "I love it."

He hopped down from the truck and started wringing his hands, "I know it's not in the best shape. But with a little sanding and a little paint, it could be as good as new."

"It's perfect, Patrick. Thank you," Toby said, emotion filling his voice. He pulled Happy into his side, "Our girl has her first piece of furniture."

Happy nodded and raised up on her toes to kiss Toby quickly. Then moved to her dad to give him a hug. "Thank you, dad. Even when she gets older, we can make it into shelves for her or something. Where did you find it?"

"Uh, it was actually yours, Happy. Your mom picked it out."

"Really?" she asked, stepping into Toby's side again. 

He smiled, "Yeah. It was the first thing we bought after we found out about you. We were walking around this old antique store and your mother saw this. She fell in love right away. But we didn't have a lot of money and it was too expensive for us. Your mom tried to put on a brave face and pretend like it didn't bother her, but I could tell it did. So the next day, I went back and managed to talk the owner into setting it aside for us, then for the rest of the week, I stayed late at the garage, earning enough money to buy it. Grace was so excited when I brought it home. She fixed it up and got it all ready for you." He sighed and wiped at his eyes, "Even after everything, I couldn't bare to part with it. I didn't know why, but I kept it. And now I do know why. I was saving it for you. I want you two and my grand girl to have it."

"Thank you," Happy whispered again, "Seriously, thank you."

Patrick cleared his throat, holding back his own emotions ready to come out, "Well, Toby, why don't you help me get this inside then?" 

"Of course," Toby said with a smile. 

"I know just what I want to do with this," Happy said excitedly, following the two back into the apartment building. "We found this really cool antique looking dresser online that I wanted to fix up. We could paint this and that dresser in the pink paint we got. What do you think, Doc?" she asked, resting her hand on his back as she stood next to him in the elevator. 

He turned his head and kissed her forehead, "I love it. It'll go great in the room."

"Perfect," Happy murmured, stepping out of the elevator, "I'll go ahead and order that dresser then and start fixing this changing table up."

She opened the door to their apartment to shrieks coming from the room. 

"No, Walter," Paige yelled, a laugh in voice, "Don't you dare."

They went to the bedroom to see what was going on. Sylvester was staring at Paige and Walter in horror, while Cabe was doing a poor job of hiding his laugh. Paige, covered in streaks of paint, was holding Walter's wrist, who was holding a paint brush, trying to smear more on her. He was covered in paint as well. 

Slowly, Toby crept in, grabbing a roller from the pan on the ground. No except for Happy and Patrick saw him, as they were too distracted with what was going on between Paige and Walter. Carefully, he sneaked up behind Cabe, rolling the the roller down his arm, covering it in grey paint. Cabe whirled around, a shocked look on his face. Toby ran away, towards Sly, before Cabe could retaliate. 

"Kid, watch out," Cabe called out, but he was too late. Toby had already covered Sly's hands in paint. 

"Toby!" Sly whined, immediately going for a towel. 

Toby dropped the roller back into a pan and bent over laughing, holding his sides. 

"Son, you shouldn't have done that," Cabe said with a smirk, walking slowly toward him, paint brush in hand. 

Toby glanced over at Walter and Paige, who had stopped fighting each other and were also walking his way. A quick glance to Sly showed he was too preoccupied with getting the paint off his hands that he didn't know what was going on. Happy, in the doorway, was hiding her laugh behind the back of her hand, her father right behind her with a grin. Quickly, Toby raced across the room, grabbing Happy around the waist, placing her between him and the rest of the team. 

"Hey," Happy yelled in protest, a laugh in her voice, "You can't use the pregnant lady as a shield."

Toby laughed and ducked behind her, his hands on her hips holding her still, "Yes, I can, and I will. They won't go after you. You're pregnant and they're too nice."

"That's not fair, Toby," Paige called out. 

Happy nodded, trying to remove his hands, "It's not, Doc."

"You're my fiancée," Toby exclaimed, "you have to protect me."

Happy sighed and continued to wiggle, but wasn't getting out of his grip. 

"Don't worry about it, guys," Cabe said, "We'll just wait him out. Eventually he'll have to let go of Happy."

Toby stood up and kissed the back of her neck. "No, I won't baby," he whispered in her ear. 

At that, Happy relaxed back into him, looking over her shoulder to smile up at him. Toby release his grip on her hips to run his hands up her sides, momentarily forgetting the team surrounding them. He leaned down to kiss her, but just as his lips brushed against hers, she slipped from his grip, running behind her dad. 

"Happy," Toby yelled out, a whine in his voice. 

He held his hands in front of his face, as Walter, Paige, and Cabe covered his arms in paint. 

"Okay, okay," Paige said laughing, stepping back, "I think we got him."

Happy fell over on to the couch with laughter, as Toby turned to face her, a mock glare on his face. 

"How could you betray me like that, Hap?"

"You gotta do what you gotta do," she managed to get out through her laughter, "You should see yourself, babe. I think they got it in your hair."

As she was talking, Toby slowly stepped towards her. When he got close, he leaned over the back of the couch, standing directly over her, "You should see yourself, sugar pie, you got something on your face."

Her eyes flew open and widened when she saw him above her. "You wouldn't," she gasped. 

"Oh, I would. I'm not as nice as them. You're not off limits to me," he grinned, placing his hands on her face, transferring the paint from him to her, despite her squeals of protest. 

Eventually he stopped and everyone put their paint brushes down, calling a truce. It was then that Sylvester came out of the room, having finally thoroughly cleaning his hands. 

"What the heck is going on out here?"

"Oh, nothing," Toby shrugged, "The brushes just slipped."

"But, but-" Sylvester stuttered, surprised by all he missed out on. 

"We need to clean up," Paige announced, "and then we need to finish the room."

"Toby," Happy said turning towards him, "you need to get a shower. It's in your hair." She looked to Paige and Walter, "I'll get you two clothes."

Fifteen minutes later, everyone was paint free. Happy and Paige were in the living room, working on sanding down the changing table, and everyone else was painting the baby's room. Toby came out whistling a tune. Stopping behind the couch, he placed his hands on Happy's shoulders and leaned over her, kissing the top of her head. 

"Love you," he mumbled, then stood up and continued to the kitchen to grab drinks for everyone. 

"Well that was sweet," Paige smirked, nudging Happy with her elbow. 

Happy shrugged and continued with her sanding, "Yeah, I guess."

Paige set her paper down, "You guess? Come on, Happy. I've never seen you two act like this before in front of us. Don't you like the attention just a little?"

Happy stopped sanding and looked over at Paige, a smile growing on her face, "Okay, yeah, I admit, I love it. I never knew I could be so happy."

Paige squeezed her arm, "I'm glad for you. You two deserve it."

She smiled and turned back to her sanding, "Thanks. I'm just glad everything's turning out okay for us."

"Me too," Paige whispered. She cleared her throat, "So, have you and Toby come up with a name yet?"

"Not really," Happy said. 

"Yes, we have," Toby refuted, walking back past them. 

Happy rolled her eyes at him, but smiled, "We sort of have."

"Sort of have?" Paige questioned. 

"Mmhmm, we're debating between two names. But we both agree that we'll wait until we see her to make a decision."

"Oh, I've heard of a lot of people who do that," she remarked less enthusiastically than she had been the entire night. 

Happy realized something was wrong, "What did I do?

"Oh, nothing," Paige chuckled, "It's just, well I found something online that I want to get her, but I need to know her initials. It's these letters that have different designs on it. They can make them in any colors you choose. I think you'd really like them."

"Her initials are MGC," Toby said, walking past them again. 

Happy turned around, "Way to let that out, loose lips."

He grinned and bit into an apple, "Hey, I didn't tell her the actual names we're thinking of."

"So her name starts with an M? Oh, I can't wait to hear what it is! Wait, so both of the names start with an M?"

Happy nodded and hummed in agreement. 

"You have to tell me," Paige said, looking expectantly at Toby and Happy. 

Toby just shook his head and zipped his lips, heading back to the nursery. 

Paige's head whipped to Happy, grabbing her arm, "Is it Margaret? Or Mary? Oh, or what about Madison?"

Happy chuckled, "I told you, we're not saying anything until she's born."

"Ugh," Paige groaned, sinking into the back of the couch, "I hate you."

"Good to know."

They worked in silence for a few minutes, listening to the laughs and conversations coming from the baby's room. It made Happy feel comforted hearing that. She was in her home, surrounded by the people she loved. She couldn't remember a time from her earlier years where she felt this much at home. Scorpion changed her life for the better. Without it, she never would've met Toby or be expecting this baby or even reconnect with her father. And Toby, he was getting better. He may not remember everything yet, but he was reforming the relationships he had from before. That alone made Happy happier than anything. 

"Want to go shopping tomorrow?" Paige asked, pulling Happy from her pondering. 

"Hmm?" she asked. 

"I asked if you wanted to shopping tomorrow."

"For what?"

"Well, I noticed you didn't have any baby stuff yet, aside from what I got you guys. I thought we could go look and find some stuff for her. Bedding, room decorations, car seat, whatever you want."

Happy grew quiet, then eventually said slowly, "I don't know."

"I know you don't like shopping, Happy, but you're going to have to go out eventually. Miss M is going to need some things."

Happy set down her sand paper and started playing with her fingers. "It's not that. It's just-"

"You want to do it with Toby," Paige said coming to the realization on her own.

"I'm sorry, Paige," Happy mumbled, looking over to her, "I know you want to help out. It's just that Toby and I have been looking at things online and we already know what we like. And well, we want to do this ourselves. It-" she sighed, "We've been looking forward to this for awhile now, but we just haven't had time to go out. I'm sorry."

"Happy," Paige said, grabbing her hand, "don't be sorry. There's nothing to be sorry about. I get it. I do. This is a special time for you two. You guys should enjoy it together. I keep forgetting that you're not in the same situation I was in with Ralph. I didn't have anyone but a few loyal friends. I just want to be there for you, like they were for me."

"Thanks," she said, smiling at her, "And I promise, once Toby and I get the big items out of the way, we can together. I'd like your opinion. We all know I'm not the most girly."

"Deal," she said, pulling Happy into a hug. 

"Thanks for coming over tonight," Happy mumbled, turning back to the changing table, "and for everything else. Thanks for being here."

"Anytime, Happy. Scorpion is a family. We'll always help each other out."

"Best family I've ever had," Happy said, almost to herself. 

"Me too."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Well," Toby said, sighing, "the walls are done."

Happy leaned into his side, wrapping her arms around his waist, "They are and I love it. It looks better than I thought. Hopefully she'll like it."

He chuckled, "She won't like anything but eating, sleeping, and cuddling for a little while."

Happy yawned and closed her eyes, "You're right again. I hate it."

"Go get ready for bed, sweet pea. It's late," he said into her hair. 

"Mmkay," she agreed and started shuffling to their room. Stopping she turned around, "Hey, since we have the day off tomorrow, want to go shopping? See what we can find for her?"

"Sure," he smiled gently at her, "Let's plan on it."

"Good. Are you coming to bed?"

He nodded, "I'll be there in a second."

Turning she left the room. Toby took a second to take everything in. It was all overwhelming, but amazing. That night showed him what it was like to have a true family; laughing, talking, being surrounded by people who actually cared in their own way. He had been told that this was what it was like before his accident, but it had really been the first time he experienced it. This team was his family. And his family was helping Happy and him get ready for the family they were creating together. 

Walking around the room, a grin formed on Toby's face. Their baby girl was going to be in this room in just about 18 weeks. It seemed so far away, but he knew they would pass by quickly. He couldn't wait for her to get here. She already had him wrapped around her little finger, just like her mother. There were still times he was scared to death about being a dad, but one look from Happy had him instantly calming down. They could do anything together. And he was determined to give his daughter everything she ever wanted and love her unconditionally, just like he was going to with Happy. 

"Toby!" Happy yelled from their bedroom. 

Toby quickly ran to their room. This time he was the one worried about her yell. When he got to the room and saw Happy, his heart started slowing back down to normal. She was laying on the bed in sleep shorts and his t-shirt. She had the shirt pulled up to her chest, her stomach exposed to him. Her hands were gently running across her stomach. She looked up with a grin, her eyes twinkling like Toby had never seen before. 

"She's moving, baby," she whispered, "You'll be able to feel it. She's kicking up a storm."

At hearing that, Toby raced over to the bed, quickly jumping by her side. He reached out, placing his hand by Happy's. After just a few seconds, he felt something press against his hand. A few second later, he felt it again. 

He looked to Happy, tears filling his eyes, "Happy, I felt it. I felt her kick." Leaning over, he kissed her. It was full of emotion - happiness and amazement. "Thank you, Hap, for everything you've done for me. I love you."

"I love you too," she murmured, kissing him again. 

When they pulled apart, Toby shifted down the bed on his stomach, his face even with her belly. 

"This is amazing," he whispered while continuing to move his hands around Happy's stomach, hoping to feel her move again. 

"Hi baby girl," he said to her stomach, "Your Aunt Paige calls you Miss M. I kind of like it." He kissed Happy's stomach, "I just felt you move. Keep on doing awesome things like that little one. I love it. It makes your mommy and I very anxious to meet you."

"But not that anxious that you come early," Happy added quickly, feeling the baby move again. 

Toby laughed, "No, not that anxious. You stay in there as long as you need to grow big and healthy."

"We painted your room tonight," Happy continued, moving one of her hands to tangle in Toby's hair, "It's beautiful, baby girl. I can't wait to show it to you. Your elephant finally has a place it can fit in." She looked at Toby, a smirk on her face, "But I'm not too happy with your dad right now. He put us in danger by using us a shield tonight in a paint war."

"Hey, I knew they wouldn't come after you two," he said, tracing patterns on her bare skin, causing goosebumps to rise. 

"But you did."

He smirked, "Yeah, I did. But don't worry, little bug, we'll protect you when you get here."

"Forever and ever," Happy whispered, "We love you."

Toby kissed her bump one more time, "That we do. More than you'll ever know." 

With that, he rolled off the bed, heading to the bathroom to get ready for bed. When he came back out, 10 minutes later, he fully expected to see Happy asleep. But instead, she was sitting against the headboard, legs pulled up to her chest as much as possible, and she was pulling at her bottom lip with her fingers. 

"Hey, what're you think about so intensely, bunny?" he asked, climbing on the bed. 

"Nothing really," she muttered. 

"I don't believe that," he said quietly, throwing an arm around her shoulders. 

She shifted, curling into his side, nuzzling her head into the crook of his neck. "Honestly, I was thinking about your memories. I keep trying to figure out why only certain ones are coming back."

Toby sighed, "I've been trying to figure that out for weeks now. I originally thought they came forward from some type of event that reminded me subconsciously of it. But now I'm not so sure. We talked about our engagement over a month ago, so why would that memory just come back today?"

She tilted her head to look up at him, "Do you think they're starting to come back? Have you remembered anything else?"

He shook his head, "I think they are starting to come back, but I haven't had any more memories today. At least not specific memories. But I'm starting to remember feelings, kind of like a deja vu type thing."

Happy furrowed her brow at that. 

He kissed the crease on her head, "Actions and words and looks are familiar now. I can almost predict exactly what someone will say before they say it because it seems so familiar."

"But you're a behaviorist, Doc."

"I know that, but this is different. The stuff that I remember isn't something I could have picked up this quickly. I don't know, it's hard to explain. Like for example, I can almost remember Walter pining away over Paige, but too afraid to say anything. But it's more like a feeling I have. I don't remember it specifically, but when I catch a certain look or name or word from someone, it's a reminder that I've encountered it before."

"I guess I get it. But it doesn't mean it makes sense. So if I were to mention Quincy Berkstead...?"

Toby frowned, "No idea who he is, but I don't like him." He scrunched up his face, "Ugh, who the hell is that guy? Just his name makes me mad."

Happy laughed and reached up with one hand to cup his face, pulling it down to kiss him. "Don't worry about him. He's a jerk. But I get what's happening to you more now. The memories are in there somewhere, just waiting to come out."

He nodded in a daze, kissing her again. When she pulled back, she shifted to lay down, pulling Toby with her. She curled into his side as much at her bump would let her, laying her head on his chest. They laid there quietly for a few minutes, both of them lost in their own thoughts about the situation. Both finding comfort by gently running their fingers in patterns across each other's skin. 

"Hap?" Toby eventually asked, breaking the silence. 

"Hmm?"

"This may sound stupid, but do you want me to get my memories back?" 

Happy stiffened in his arms and was quiet for a few seconds. Turning her head, she kissed his chest, right over his heart, then looked up at him. "I do. I want you to be able to remember everything, to not have a huge hole in your life. I want you to remember everything that we've experienced together - the good, the bad, the ugly, all of it. It's what shaped us into what we became, what we are now."

"But?" he prodded. 

She sighed, "But I have to admit that I'm scared to get my hopes up that you'll remember everything. I don't want to be disappointed if it doesn't happen. As thrilled as I am that you're getting some of your memories back, I can't help it think that it's too good to be true. So much good is happening right now, us, the baby. I don't know if it's possible for everything to go our way."

"So if I don't get my memories back fully, you'll still be happy?"

She shifted to kiss him sweetly, reassuringly, "Of course. This is all I've ever wanted. You, a life with you. I don't care if you don't remember our beginning, because we got a second chance, a second beginning. And I am more than happy about that. If anything, your memory loss has taught me how to cherish our time together even more. If this is all I have for the rest of my life, as long as I have you, memories or not, and our baby, I'd die a happy girl."

"We're gonna be alright, no matter what, huh?"

She grinned, "You bet your ass we are."

"God, I love you."

"Love you too, Doc."


	11. Old Habits...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With news from Toby's doctor about his prognosis, both Toby and Happy find themselves falling back into some old habits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the super LONG wait, but the update is FINALLY here! I would love to known what you guys think, it really keeps me motivated to write more. Thanks!

"So what do we think about this one, Miss M?" Happy asked, quietly talking to her belly, ignoring the sharp pain on the right side of her stomach. She had had it since this morning, but Toby reassured her it was probably just braxton hicks. 

Sitting crossed legged on the floor, she was in the midst of putting away all of the baby's clothes in the newly renovated antique dresser she and Toby had purchased for the nursery - taking it easy, Dr. Curtis' orders. Toby was at a doctors appointment for his head, so Happy took the time alone to talk to their baby; it wasn't that she was embarrassed to do it in front of Toby, she just felt like it was their special time alone. She rolled her eyes at herself - she always had alone time with her, the baby was growing inside of her, but this was different, she couldn't really explain it. 

At 32 weeks pregnant, Happy was already ready for the baby to be born. She was bored out of her mind, having been strictly limited to desk duty at work and Toby wouldn't leave her in peace when she tried to work on a project to keep busy. He was constantly interrupting her, reminding her to eat, drink, and take breaks. But as annoying as he could get, he always made up for it with the body and foot massages every night. And Happy knew that it was all coming from a place of love; he just wanted to take care of her and their baby, so she couldn't stay mad at him for too long. 

She smiled down at her bump, running her hand across it as her daughter kicked her hand - it was one of the best feelings in the world. She and Toby would sometimes spend all night curled up together, pressing gently on her stomach just to feel her kick and see her move around. Just the other morning, Happy woke Toby up with a smack to his chest to show him the large lump sticking out on the side of her stomach where she assumed the baby's feet where. But as soon as Toby ran his hand over it, she must've curled back up because it had disappeared. Ever since then though, Happy woke up every morning with an odd shaped belly. She couldn't help but think it was something special her daughter did just for her, a message or game of some sort, because the second Toby would wake up or throw his arm over Happy in his sleep, it would disappear. 

Happy had already gotten a few laughs from their daughter too; it was clear that she was taking after her mom and putting Toby in his place. He loved to talk to the baby, placing kiss after kiss on Happy's stomach, and she loved it...for a little while. Eventually, though, after Toby wouldn't stop, she'd have to push him away. And apparently the baby was getting just as annoyed because the Doc had been nailed in the face a few times by her well placed kicks and rolling around. 

With a small sigh, she held up the frilly, pink onesie in her hand again, "So, is this a yes or a no, baby girl?" The baby kicked her side and she couldn't help but wince a little - their baby was strong. She chuckled as she folded up the onesie, "I'm going to take that as a no. It is a bit much, isn't it? I would throw it out, but your Aunt Paige was so excited about this one that I can't. But," she said conspiratorially, "I can hide it at the bottom of the drawer and keep us from the pain and suffering of having to wear it."

Happy finished putting away the rest of the clothes in silence, a smile permanently fixed on her face as she felt the baby move and eventually settle down; she was always the most active in the afternoon and late at night. 

After she closed the last drawer, she let out a long, annoyed sigh and looked around her. Getting up off the floor, this was always the hard part, especially when Toby wasn't around to help. Her stomach threw off her balance, well that and the fact that she couldn't really see her feet too much anymore. It was always a struggle to stand up when she was in a low position - the bathtub, the floor, the overly cushy couch, her creeper, the bed - the list was growing daily. Normally Toby was there to help, without a joke or anything to say surprisingly, but he wasn't back yet and Happy didn't know when he would be, so she'd have to do it herself. 

After a few seconds of mental preparation and rocking her body for momentum, Happy was able to push herself up off the floor, holding onto the top of the dresser for support and wincing as the pain in her side grew worse. Taking a few deeps breaths to settle herself, Happy couldn't help but scowl at how much effort and breath that took out of her. Toby had told her earlier that the baby, which was a size of a half a gallon of milk, was now pushing against her diaphragm, meaning shortness of breath was a very common occurrence. But Happy still hated it. 

She took that time to look around the now finished nursery. They spent last weekend putting the finishing touches on it. The dresser and changing table, painted in such a pale pink that it almost looked white, looked like they were always meant to go together. They couldn't have planned it any better. And they were already filled to the brim with clothes, diapers, wipes, and blankets (Toby said it was better to be over prepared than under prepared). A light purple rug covered the wood floor and white curtains with pink and purple ribbon trim were hanging from the window. A grey oversized chair and ottoman were in one corner next to a basket already filled with stuffed animals that Toby had insisted on getting whenever their job took them from LA. A few knick knacks, books, and frames filled the shelves of a bookcase they had painted to match the changing table and dresser. And on the walls were a few simple sketches of tools and a fedora hat that Paige had made for them, as well as large patterned initials over the crib. 

Happy's eyes landed on the initials, MGC, but they were quickly drawn down to the crib below. The soft grey crib was Happy's favorite piece in the room. They had been out one day, just looking around, and came upon it. And shortly after that they came across the bedding set that neither one could give up. In white, grey, and light purple, the bedding set fit perfectly in the room. Happy was surprised by how quickly she had fallen in love with the polka dot and ruffled bed set - it was much more girly than she would normally go for - but when she saw the small elephants included in the pattern, she knew immediately they had to have it. A soft purple and pink blanket was thrown over the front rail of the crib and the polka dot elephant that have given them inspiration sat on one corner of the rails, pulling the whole room together. 

She wiped at a few tears that suddenly sprang to her eyes as she looked around the room. It was hard for Happy to express just how much she loved putting together the room for the baby, picking out each piece with love to create something special for her daughter. She had never been shown that type of love when she was younger, not until Toby worked his way into her heart actually. So she was damn determined to make sure her daughter knew just how much she was loved and that started with the painstakingly put together room. 

_Not that she'll be in the room for awhile_ , Happy thought to herself wryly. Both she and Toby knew they wanted the baby in their room with them for awhile, so Happy built a bassinet they could attach to the side of their bed that the baby could sleep in and still stay safe. She knew they were already being overbearing parents, but she didn't care, she just wanted to make sure her baby stayed as safe as possible. And she had a feeling neither she nor the Doc would want to let their little girl out of their sight for too long. 

Suddenly, the sound of keys opening the lock to the front door pulled Happy from her thoughts. Toby was home. She was anxious to hear what the doctor had said about Toby's head, so she hurried out to meet him. 

"Hey," she called quietly with a smile, watching Toby take off his jacket a bit too roughly, pressing her hand against her side to ease the pain that seemed to be getting worse by the second. 

Toby didn't respond as he turned towards her avoiding her questioning eyes. He stalked towards her and pushed his way past as he head towards the kitchen. Happy followed, the curiosity about what happened building. 

"Uh, hi," she tried again, waving her hand in the air to try to get him to focus on her, "Pregnant fiancée over here."

He grunted in her direction before pulling open the refrigerator door and grabbing a beer. 

"Well we're happy to see you too," Happy tried to joke, running her hand over her stomach hoping to calm the butterflies that found home in her stomach.

Toby drained half of the bottle in one gulp before finally meeting her eyes and acknowledging her with a nod of his head. He walked over to her and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before heading towards the living room again, mumbling over his shoulder, "Sorry, the news-," he stopped and sank into the couch, hanging his head, "The news wasn't what I was expecting and I'm pretty pissed off about it."

Happy followed him and perched herself on the arm of the couch next to Toby. She tangled her fingers in his hair and asked softly, "Not good. What did he say?"

Toby finally looked up at her with more pain and sadness in his eyes than she'd ever seen. "He said that he thinks my memory loss is permanent. That the chances of me regaining my memories are almost nonexistent," he said with a growl before draining the rest of the bottle in his hands. 

"What?" Happy whispered in disbelief, "How is that possible? You've had memories."

"Apparently not enough," he said, throwing the bottle against a nearby wall in frustration. 

Happy jumped as the glass shattered, not expecting such an outburst from him. 

"My last memory was over two months ago," Toby said, standing up to pace around the room, "and Dr. Shipley said that, if I was going to get my memories back, they would've already started to come back, that I wouldn't have gone two months without another one. He did more scans and said they all came back normal."

"Well then he must have missed something," Happy said, trying to reassure him. 

"No, he didn't," he said with a shake of his head. 

She stood and laid her hand on his arm, "You don't know that, Doc."

"Yes, I do," he mumbled. 

More determinedly, Happy argued with him, "No, you don't."

At that Toby yanked his arm away and yelled, "Yes, I do, Happy. I looked at the damn scans myself and there is nothing wrong up there," he pointed to his head to punctuate his next words, "NOTHING. WRONG. AT. ALL." 

Happy looked at him in confusion - if nothing was wrong, why couldn't he remember?

Toby ran his hand through his hair and huffed in frustration, "My brain is completely healed by now. Dr. Shipley seems to think that I'm suppressing my memories, not letting them come out. It's some type of PTSD from the trauma that caused my memory loss."

"But-" she began, but Toby stopped her. 

"I know what you're about to say and I don't get it either. I can't remember the trauma, so how the hell can I have PTSD? The doctor seems to think that my brain can remember it even if I can't, which means it suppresses all memories of the more recent past, in my case the past 17 years."

"Can that be true? Can that actually happen?" Happy asked quietly. 

"Yes, I guess. It has happened before, but never with memory loss as great as mine. Normally it's just a small window of time lost around the time of the injury, not half your life." His hands clenched angrily and he yelled out, "God, this is so damn frustrating. I was supposed to get them back, get my life back."

"Toby," she said, walking towards him, "we both knew it was a possibility and I thought you were okay with it."

He pushed her hand aside when she reached for him and took a few steps away, "I was when I was sure they would come back. You're not supposed to have a hole in your life. My brain has never failed me before."

Happy reached for him again, but he moved further away. Her heart clenched with pain, she was hurting for him. "And it won't now. We'll figure this out, Doc. I'm here for you, baby. We can do anything."

"This time we can't," he growled, grabbing his coat again, "I need to be alone right now. I'll talk to you later."

Happy watched silently as the door slammed behind him. He didn't want her help, he didn't want her right now or need her right now. The butterflies in her stomach grew to pain throughout her heart and whole body. But she didn't do anything to stop him. Instead, she stayed rooted to her spot, staring at the door he had just exited, one lone tear rolling down her face, while the man she loved left her behind, left behind the comfort she was offering to find solace somewhere else by himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby didn't know why he left. He didn't know why he didn't stay at the apartment with Happy, let her help him like she had been doing since he woke up with no memory of her whatsoever. He just knew that something was telling him to leave, to get out of the house, to get lost in something else, but he wasn't sure what that was.

He drove around aimlessly for awhile, not stopping to let himself think. If he was focused on driving and maneuvering the LA traffic, then he didn't have time to think about what Dr. Shipley had said. He ignored the urge to go to the beach, the place he and Happy always went to figure out their problems. He ignored the feeling deep inside of him to turn back and go home, to apologize to Happy and figure out what to do next with her. And he ignored phone call after phone call he was continually getting, starting just ten minutes after he left. 

It wasn't until he was stopped at a red light, his fingers dancing around the steering wheel, that a voice popped into his head. Words that were hard to ignore. Words he didn't know if he wanted to ignore. It was his dad's voice from a time when he was leaving out the door. Toby was only 8 at the time. 

_"The cards give you control, son. You are in charge of what happens next when they're in your hands. That's why I go."_

The card table. It was where his father always went to get away from his problems, i.e., a genius son who knew too much and a mentally ill wife. It was where Toby went to earn the money he needed to pay his way through med school. The light turned to green and the voice was momentarily silenced. But the second he stopped again, it started up once more, this time from a year later when his father convinced him, with the promise of a baseball game later, to go with him, to help him "beat the cocky bastards". 

_"Look around the table, son. You can read people, you know what they're thinking, what they have. You have all the power here, Tobias. You, not anyone else, you control the table. Can you feel the control? The power? Can you feel how you are in charge? It feels good, doesn't it? You can forget about life for awhile here, forget about the bullies at school, forget about having to take care of your mother. Just let your mind focus on the people and cards at this table and simply forget."_

"Stop," Toby yelled, slamming his hand down on the steering wheel, trying to get the voice out of his head. He knew it was wrong to be thinking about it, to think about finding a game, but for the life of him, he didn't know why he was struggling to give in to his fathers words. 

As the light turned again, Toby started driving. Almost instinctively, he found his way to a seedy part of town and parked on the street. He stayed in the car and looked around - run down bars lined either side of the street, groups of men smoking cigarettes stood in alleys beside the buildings. Through the streaked and dirty windows, he saw women in too tight of tops and too short of skirts flirting with and pouring strong drinks for men, too eager to start their night. It all felt so strange to him to see, yet so familiar, like a not so distant memory. 

He sat there as the sun started to set. More sleazy men started filling the bars, women of the night came out to make their rounds. And Toby watched, but didn't make a move to exit the car, trying to ignore his fathers voice, but growing weaker by the second. 

_"Just go for it, son. The backroom games are the best."_

Toby turned off the car. 

_"What's the worst thing that could happen, Tobias? You could win a lot of money?"_

He unbuckled his seatbelt. 

_"Remember, you get control."_

His hand reached for the door handle. 

_"I cannot have the rug pulled out from under me again."_

A new voice, Happy's voice, stopped him in his tracks, his hand letting go of the handle like it was burning him. 

_"The bets, they're out of control. You've got to stop."_

_"Don't you want to be in charge, Tobias? Don't you want the thrill of winning and seeing their faces when you take them for all their worth, just by using your brain?"_

The two voices in his head continue to battle and he didn't know who to give in to. He wanted to forget about his problems for a while, like his father said he could, but at the same time, something was telling him if he did, Happy would be furious. He didn't know what to do. 

He continued to sit there, so lost in his head, debating on the best choice of action to take, that he didn't see someone sidling up to his car. It wasn't until the passenger door opened and he jumped from the sudden intrusion, that he saw who was there. 

"What are you doing, Toby?" Sly asked as he slid into the car and quickly locked the doors. 

"Damn it, Sylvester, you scared me."

He shrugged, but didn't let Toby deter him from his original question, "I said, what are you doing here, Toby?"

Toby looked down and picked at a loose thread on his jeans, "What does it look like?"

"It looks like you're about to fall into some old habits," Sly said more harshly than he had ever spoken to Toby, or anyone else, before. 

"I don't know man. I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to go in there, I've had a crap day. But the other part is saying no. So I'm sitting here trying to figure out which side to give in to."

Sylvester growled, something Toby had never heard him do before, "I can't pretend that I know what you're going through, getting the news that you may never remember. But I do know you're going down a dark path again. And, damn it, Toby, it's not just about you this time." 

"I know that, but I need to silence my brain for awhile, until I can figure something else out." Toby sighed and clenched his hands, "Man, I don't know why, but it feels right, like I need it, the gambling. Like I need to prove to myself that I have control. I know it'll help me forget for awhile. And I could win a bit of money for the baby."

"Don't you dare bring the baby into this, Toby. You know you're just trying to reason with yourself, give yourself an okay to go in and gamble. You can't justify this, ever."

"I'm not justifying it, Sly," Toby yelled.

"You'd be the first to point out that you were, that you're trying twist it around to be the right thing to do in your mind. That's unhealthy, Toby, and the first sign that you've already made your decision. You can't do this. You've worked so hard to get past it. Don't fall down now, not when you have things to fight for."

Toby sighed and looked towards Sylvester for the first time, the torture on his face as plain as day. "I don't know what to do here, Sly. I'm struggling. Everything was going so well and I was so happy, but then this news, it sent me into the dark. I don't want to not know what has happened during half of my life. I don't want anyone to have to explain big events that happened that I don't remember. I just want my life back to normal. I want control. As much as I don't want to go find the game in a bar, I do. I want to focus on something else, just for a while. And then go back to my life and figure it out with Happy."

Sylvester was quiet for a moment, but when he finally spoke, he spoke firmly, resolutely, "Even if you don't trust me on anything else, trust me on this Toby - if you walk into that bar and that backroom game, Happy's gone. The baby's gone. Heck, the whole team is gone. Life as you know it is gone. You may not remember the hell you put us all through, but we do and we're not doing that again; we're not bailing you out or patching you up, we're not going to sit by and watch you throw away everything you have. We're not doing it. But the choice is up to you."

There was a tense silence that filled the car as both men waited to see what would happen. 

"Why are you here, Sly?" Toby eventually asked quietly. His voice was haggard and he sounded tired, but he hadn't made a move to get out of the car. "Did Happy send you?"

"I'm not answering that until you make a decision. I want you to figure out what you're going to do first, then I will answer any question you have."

Then silence filled the car again. They sat there for over an hour, the only sound coming from Toby as he muttered to himself, trying to figure out what to do. Eventually, Toby grabbed his car keys from his lap, turned on the car, and drove away. After driving for a few minutes, he pulled over in a parking lot and turned towards Sylvester. 

"I'm not going to do it. I won't do that to Happy, to the team. I won't do that to myself. You have my word. I'll work this out with Happy, she and the baby are what I need right now, not some game in the smokey backroom of a bar."

At Toby's words, Sylvester sighed in relief and relaxed into the seat, murmuring, "Thank the Lord."

Toby gave him a sad smile, "I'm sorry man. I wasn't thinking. I don't want to hurt anyone."

"It's okay. You didn't actually do it. You wanted to, but you didn't and that's huge."

Toby clapped the younger man on his shoulder, "So you can tell me now, I know Happy sent you, but how pissed at me is she?"

At Toby's question, Sly's face grew worried again, "I don't know, because she doesn't know I'm here."

"Why doesn't she know?" Toby asked, his face contorting in question. 

Sylvester wrung his hands and he looked down, "Uh, she doesn't know because she's in the hospital."

"What?" Toby roared, turning on the car again to rush to the hospital, "Why didn't you tell me when you got in the car?"

"Because you needed to make the decision of if you were going to gamble again by yourself, not because of your worry about Happy and the baby," he responded determinedly. 

"What the hell happened, Sly?" Toby asked tensely speeding his way through the crowded street of Los Angeles, "Why did no one call me?"

"We did," Sly said with a bite to his tone, "many times, but you chose to not answer. You were too focused on the thought of gambling."

Toby glanced down at his phone and realized he had over thirty missed called from Happy, Sylvester, and Cabe. He groaned in anger at himself. "Tell me what happened, right not Sly, or else when this car stops my anger will make Happy's look tame."

Sylvester swallowed hard and stuttered out what happened, "Well, I-I guess Happy had been having some pain in her side today-"

"Braxton hicks, I know," Toby said, honking his horn at the slow moving traffic. 

"No, it wasn't. I guess it got worse after you left. She tried to call you, but when you didn't answer she tried to call Paige, but, of course, she and Walter don't have cell service right now. So she called me and Cabe. She knew something wasn't right, so we took her to the ER."

"And..." Toby promoted, guilt and anger at himself quickly overtaking him. 

"And it turns out she has appendicitis. They rushed her into surgery to remove the appendix before it burst."

"Damn it," Toby yelled. 

"I, uh, I left when she was moved to recovery to find you. Both she and the baby are okay, but she does have to spend the night in the hospital."

"I should've been there," Toby growled to himself, already beating himself up, "I'm such an idiot."

"She's going to be fine, Toby," Sly tried to reassure him. 

"But I wasn't there for her, Sly. And I promised her that I would always be there."

"I'm sure she'll understand."

"I sure as hell hope so," Toby whispered, "or else my life is over."

The tires squealed as he turned into the hospital and quickly parked the car. Slamming the car door shut behind him, Toby raced into the hospital, sliding to a stop at the front desk. 

"Happy," he gasped desperately, "Happy Quinn, which room is she in?"

"And you are?" the man at the desk asked him. 

"Toby Curtis, she's my fiancée."

The man typed something into the computer and then looked up at Toby, "I'm sorry Mr. Curtis, but she specifically marked she didn't want any visitors when she was brought in."

"This is different. She'll want to see me," Toby raised his voice, "I'm her fiancé and she's pregnant. I need to go see her, so what room is she in? And I'm a doctor, I've done work at the hospital before. They know me here." Toby didn't know if that was true, but he had to try so he could get back to see her. 

The man looked at Toby sympathetically, "I'll call the nurses and they can ask her what she wants."

Toby nodded his thanks and turned towards Sylvester who had just made his way inside, "They won't let me back to see her."

Sylvester grimaced slightly, "Hospital policy, if she doesn't want to see anyone, they can't tell you where she is."

"Do you know where she is?" Toby asked. 

Sly shook his head no, "I left before they could say. Only Cabe knows, since he's with her, but he's not answering the phone."

"Damn it," Toby grumbled again, turning back towards the front desk. 

"Dr. Curtis, I'm sorry, but she's asleep right now. So we can't let you back, not until she gives the okay."

Toby growled in anger, "Alright, thanks. I'll be over there," he indicated to the waiting room behind him, "Could you keep checking, please?"

He nodded, "I will, but it's unlikely anything will change tonight."

Toby nodded sharply and stalked off towards the chairs, Sylvester right on his tail. 

"I-I could hack the records and change it to add you to the list?" Sly suggested quietly. 

But Toby shook his head no, "Nah, but thanks man. They already have their eye on me now, to make sure I don't sneak back. And Happy knew what she was doing when she said no visitors. She's angry with me and has every right to be so. But I'm worried out of my mind - what if something happens? What if she goes into premature labor and I'm not there? There's so much that could go wrong."

"I'm sorry," Sly whispered. 

Toby hung his head and rubbed his eyes, "You didn't do this, Sly, I did. Now I have to deal with it and somehow fix it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy slowly woke the next morning, momentarily forgetting where she was. With her eyes still closed, a smile formed on her face as she felt her daughter rolling around in her belly.

"Doc," she murmured, "feel your daughter. She's dancing up a storm." 

She reached out to shake him awake, but was surprised when she was met with cold, hard rails, instead of Toby's warm chest. Her eyes flew open and she quickly remembered where she was and why she was there. The pain in her side, the worry at Toby not answering, the panic at hearing the word surgery. She started breathing fast, panic overtaking her again. 

"Hey," a soothing voice came from the end of the bed, "Hey, you're already, Happy. You and the baby are alright."

Happy lifted her head and saw Cabe standing there, a concerned look on his face. He reached out and patted her feet. 

"How are you feeling? The doctor said you'll make a full recovery."

Happy cleared her throat and settled down a little bit, "My side feels better, that's for sure."

He smiled, "Good. You had me worried there for a second."

"T-Toby?" she stuttered out, almost afraid to ask. 

"He's been here all night, out in the waiting room. They wouldn't let him back without your consent."

"Oh," Happy murmured, looking down at her hands. She felt a little bad now about indicating she didn't want any visitors, knowing it would keep Toby away. He was probably worried out of his mind. But then again, he ignored her. He wasn't there when she needed him, so a little worry wouldn't kill him. "I'm still pissed at him," she admitted to Cabe. 

He chuckled lightly and took a seat on the end of the bed, "I am too, trust me. He should've been there for you."

Happy looked up and smirked, "And that's why you didn't pull out your Homeland badge last night and get him back here?"

Cabe grinned, "Exactly. He needed to sweat it out a little bit. But do you want me to give the okay for him now?"

"I don't know what to say to him right now. He promised, even if he doesn't remember."

"I know you're angry, Happy, but for what it's worth, he didn't do what you're thinking he did. He stopped himself from giving in to the temptation."

Happy huffed, "Probably just because Sly told him I was here."

Cabe shook his head, "No, he made the decision himself, before he heard about you. From what Sly has said, he's a mess right now, filled with guilt and worry. He loves you and he made a mistake, but how long will you punish him for that?"

Her eyes narrowed, "As long as I damn want, Cabe. I hate to admit it, but I was scared out of my mind and he wasn't here. I'd say I have the right to be angry."

"I know you do, hell I'm angry for you, don't forget that. But do remember, you're both hurting right now, you need each other."

She sighed, realizing Cabe was right, "Fine, he can come in. Doesn't mean I forgive him yet though."

Cabe stood and patted her feet again, "Don't stay angry too long, Happy. A little while is fine, it's probably required in this situation, but try not to stay mad. You don't want anything to happen to miss M and anger and stress isn't good for the baby."

At that, Cabe left to get Toby. Happy looked back down and rubbed her belly, Cabe was right, this situation wasn't good for her, but she couldn't just forgive Toby so easily. She was scared if she did, he would do it again and again. She had to protect herself and their baby.

"Move," she heard Toby yell as he ran down the hall. She couldn't help but smirk in satisfaction at the fear in his voice. She was fine, the baby was fine, but Toby didn't know that and it served him right, especially after what he did the day before. 

"Happy," he breathed when he ran into the room. 

He quickly made his way over to her and leaned down to kiss her in relief, but she turned her head and his lips landed on her cheek instead. 

"Hap," he whispered desperately, reaching for her hand, but she moved it away from him so he couldn't grab it, "I'm so, so sorry. How are you? The baby?" 

He laid his hand on her stomach, a small smile of relief coming over his face when he felt the baby move. But Happy quickly pushed his hand off and scowled at him. 

"Where were you?" she asked icily, folding her hands over her stomach. 

He took a seat on the bed next to Happy, "I was here, all night. I've been so worried about you, baby." 

"No," she said firmly, "where were you when I needed you?"

"I'm so sorry," Toby whispered haggardly, "I didn't know. I shouldn't have left like I did."

"Toby," Happy said, her voice dropping a bit, "answer my question - where were you?"

He sighed and looked at her sadly, reaching for her hand again, which she still didn't let him take, "I don't know, to be honest. It was this dark, dingy, horrible part of town. I just started driving and without realizing it, I ended up there. My dads voice was in my head, encouraging me to go find a game."

"Did you?" she asked.

He quickly shook his head no, "I couldn't, you stopped me. Well your voice did. I-I just could hear you arguing with me about it and I knew if I did, you'd be furious."

"So you had a memory?"

Toby shrugged, "I don't know if it was that exactly, but your voice in my head kept me from getting out of the car, even when I wanted to. And I did want to, Hap, you will never know how sorry I am about that."

"Why did you leave yesterday?" she frowned, still confused as to why he didn't stay and figure it out with her.

"I couldn't wrap my brain around the news and I just had to get away, be by myself for awhile. I don't know why, I really don't. It was selfish, I know that now."

Happy nodded sharply, she could understand that - it was a fact that she needed to be alone sometimes to figure things out. But it still didn't mean she was ready to forgive him, even though everything inside her screamed at her to let him wrap her up and his arms and forget the whole thing ever happened. She just couldn't do that yet. 

"What do we do now?" she asked softly, wanting to reach out to grab his hand, but choosing not to. 

He shrugged again and fiddled with the edge of the blanket covering Happy, "I guess we have to figure it out together. But I don't know how. I'm still so frustrated with my head. How do I get over it and ignore that my memories will never come back? That a part of my life is gone forever?"

"You just have to Toby. I can't worry about you going back to gambling because it's overwhelming you, while taking care of myself and a newborn. I won't do it. So you have to figure it out."

He nodded, "I will. I'll do whatever I can to get myself in the right mind. I won't do that to you again. I've hurt you enough already and I am so, so sorry, sweetheart."

Happy didn't respond. Instead, she took a shaky breath and avoided his eyes, still debating internally on what she should do - just like he couldn't get over his news yet, she couldn't just get over what had happened. 

Eventually she spoke, her voice sharp, "You should be." She took another deep breath, still struggling with what to say, so instead she decided to ignore the situation by going back to sleep, it was easier that way, "You can stay, but don't bother me. I'm going back to sleep."

He nodded and relaxed slightly, "I won't leave your side again. I love you, Happy."

In response, she scowled and closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep quickly after. When she woke the second time, she was aware of what was going on. She felt Toby's hand covering her own, the other gently rubbing her stomach. It felt good, right, and she didn't want it to end. So she pretended to stay asleep a little longer, just to feel Toby's hands on her and to hear his soft murmurings of love to their baby. But eventually she had to go to the bathroom, so she couldn't fake it any longer. And she wasn't ready to forgive Toby completely yet, so things would go back to being awkward between them until she could forget what had happened. 

"Hands off," she muttered gruffly, opening her eyes. 

He froze for a second, then reluctantly pulled his hands back. 

"How do you feel?" he asked softly, wanting to reach out to tuck her hair behind her ear. So he did, only to have his hand hit away. 

"The incision hurts a little now, but I'll be fine. Uh, can you move so I can get up? I have to go to the bathroom."

"Let me help you," he said, immediately jumping up and reaching out to help her up.

"I can do it myself," she grumbled, wincing slightly when she twisted in the wrong way. 

Toby sighed but took a step back, giving in to what she wanted. He knew he had messed up, so he would play by her rules, for now, but he wasn't going to stop trying to remind her how much he loved her and how sorry he was. 

The rest of the morning and early afternoon was awkward between the couple. Happy continued to ignore Toby or when she had to talk to him, she was sharp and to the point; they didn't talk to talk, like they were doing just a few days earlier. The laughter between them was gone, replaced by tension and hurt. Her anger was still obvious, but Toby couldn't blame her. So he tried to be attentive, get her anything she wanted. He tried to prod her to talk and open up so they could start getting back to where they were, but she was distant, pulling back into herself, much like, he imagined, how she was before, not that he could remember. 

Eventually the doctor gave the okay for her to go home, as long as she took it easy for at least a week. It killed Toby, though, when she turned to him and asked him to leave so she could change. Just the day before, she wouldn't have even thought about asking him to leave. The discharge papers were signed and final instructions were given, all with Happy giving Toby the cold shoulder. But what shocked Toby the most was when the nurse pushed Happy's wheelchair through the doors of the hospital. 

"Uh, my car is right over there," Toby spoke up, "I'll go get it."

But Happy shook her head, "No, don't."

He looked down at her questioningly, surprised when she actually met his eyes. It was the first time she had really looked at him and he was taken aback by sadness and fear that filled her eyes. Neither one noticed the nurse back away and into the hospital again. 

"Uh," she cleared her throat, "Cabe drove my truck here last night. He's bringing it around right now."

"Happy, you can't drive yourself home," Toby said firmly. She may be trying to prove her independence and show Toby that she didn't need him, her way of protecting herself, but he sure as hell wasn't letting her drive the day after emergency surgery. 

She rolled her eyes, "I know that, but the seat are more comfortable and I have more room in my truck than your car."

"Oh, right. Well I can still get my car to make it easier for Cabe."

Happy shook her head slightly and looked down to avoid Toby's eyes, "No, Cabe is driving me home."

"But-" Toby began to protest, but was interrupted by Happy. 

"No, Toby. I don't know what to do to make things better, but I do know I need more time to figure it out. The whole day today I've been reminded of how you weren't there. And the uncertainty of if it'll happen again kills me. So for right now, I have to take care of myself and the baby. If you drive me home, it's just increasing the tension and the awkwardness between us because neither of us know what to do. So Cabe is driving me home, it gives me a few more minutes to think things through by myself. Then when you get home, we can talk and try to figure it out." She blinked and couldn't help but adding, "As long as you make it home without getting distracted by a card game."

Toby's heart twisted at her words, but knew he deserved it. "I'm coming straight home, I promise."

"We'll see," she murmured, watching as Cabe drove up. 

"Hey," Toby said softly, kneeling down next to her, "I'll be home at the same time as you. You have my word. We will figure this out. I'll do whatever you want me to."

"I hope so," she said quietly, her voice cracking. 

He captured her face between his hands, surprised when she didn't pull away. He tilted her face to look at him, the scared look on her face tearing him apart. Then without hesitation, he pressed lips to her forehead, kissing it gently. Happy's eyes shut at the tender, loving kiss and she couldn't force herself to pull away from his grip. After a few seconds, Toby kissed her forehead one more time and pulled back. 

Without letting go of her face, he whispered, "I love you, so much, Hap."

"I know," she whispered, before pulling away as Cabe came around the back of the truck. 

Toby watched as Cabe helped her up into the car. It was killing him that she didn't trust him to even do that for her. He saw her wipe away a few tears from her cheeks, making his feel worse than he already did, then turned to walk to his car already trying to figure out a way to make things better. He was going to fix this, he was determined to make everything right again and he wouldn't stop trying until he saw the loving, smiling look back on Happy's face.


	12. ...Die Hard (part one)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy and Toby try to deal with their latest setback, but old habits die hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two of this chapter will hopefully be up by Monday! Thank you for your continued support, I appreciate it more than you know. We're getting close to the end of this fic and I can't believe it. Unless things change and chapters become extremely large, there will only be four more updates after this one. 
> 
> HOWEVER, I have been playing around with the idea of making this part of an Amnesia series where I write an amnesia fic for each of the members of team Scorpion. They won't be connected, so each could be read alone, and they probably won't be as long as this one. But I'd love to know what you think, if it's something you'd read or not? (I may have actually started on Amnesia!Happy too…)

_"Turn right. Don't go home, Tobias,"_ that voice was back in Toby's head as he sat in the silence of his car at yet another stoplight. So much for following Cabe and Happy home, they had lost him a few miles back, so now he had nothing but this own thoughts to occupy his mind. 

"Stop it," he whispered firmly, tapping his fingers anxiously, "I'm not going to a game. I won't do it." 

He tried to distract himself with ideas of what he could do for Happy to get her to trust in him again. He even made a mental list of what they still had to do to get ready for the baby, but nothing worked. The voice managed to drown out any other thoughts he may have had. 

_"Don't fool yourself, son, you know you want to go."_

"Damn it," Toby shouted at the voice in his head, hitting his steering wheel, "Just shut up. SHUT. UP."

_"One game, one bet, it wouldn't hurt. Don't you want to go?"_

Toby gripped the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles turned white as his foot eased off the brake. "Of course I want to go," he growled through gritted teeth, hating what he had just admitted. He felt the fight leave his body in shame. 

The voice remained silent after that as Toby tried to remind himself of his promise to Happy - to go straight home and meet her there. He had to keep that promise to her; he had already messed up enough. But now that he wasn't with her, it was difficult to ignore everything going on inside of his head. He blew out a breath and pictured her face, her beautiful, happy, smiling face that just a few days ago she'd flash his way uninhibitedly. His resolve grew again; she was his number one priority and nothing else, so he would fight his urge for her. But try as he might to stay focused on getting home to Happy, there was something nagging his brain that he couldn't ignore - that he didn't want to ignore - telling him to make just one stop...well maybe two. Happy would just have to understand. So with a flick of wrist, he turned on his blinker and turned right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy growled as she looked at her watch again. Cabe had dropped her off over thirty minutes ago and Toby still wasn't home. She knew he had become separated from them on the drive home, but still, he should've been home by then. She cursed herself for the thousandth time as the glimmer of hope she let herself feel outside of the hospital, when Toby was promising her he would make everything right, disappeared - she felt stupid for believing he'd actually be able to fight the urge to gamble. Hadn't she already learned over and over again her lesson about trusting people? No matter what they said, people always let you down, so why would Toby be any different for her?

Angrily swiping at a rogue tear that fell, she resumed her pacing. She wasn't supposed to be on her feet, doctor's orders, but she couldn't just sit back and wait on the couch for Toby to get home as if their lives weren't blowing up. She thought about calling him, but quickly put it out of her mind. He didn't need to see how desperate she was for him to be home, safe and sound, with her, not after what had just happened. And as much as she hated it, she needed to show Toby that she would be fine without him, in case he did decide to throw their life away for cards and chips. She had gotten on just fine before him, she could do the same after. 

She sank to the couch in despair, her heart breaking and a few more tears slipping out as that thought ran through her brain. Just the thought alone was crippling and she knew it wasn't true. Toby had become a part of her that she could never let go, which is why this whole situation was horrible. She could see Toby struggle, feel his turmoil as if it were her own, but there was nothing she do help him if he didn't want to help himself. 

Standing again, she let a smile come across her face as the baby kicked. No matter what the situation was, that feeling always made her feel better. Happy ran her hand across her stomach when the baby kicked again. 

"We'll get through this, baby girl," she murmured, taking up her pacing again, "I won't let anything hurt you. I-"

She startled as the front door opened and in walked Toby, a sorry look on his face. 

He began talking quietly, holding up one hand, "Listen, I know I said-"

"So much for following us home and being here right when I got here," Happy fumed, interrupting him mid sentence. She crossed her arms over her chest in annoyance. 

Toby looked down and shuffled his feet, "I know, I'm sorry, I hade to make a couple stops."

Happy bit back a groan, but couldn't stop the ice in her voice, "Where to? Back room game? Casino? Race track?"

"None of the above," he looked up quickly, narrowing his eyes at her in annoyance, "I told you I wouldn't gamble and I didn't. I _will_ make everything right between us, Happy. I love you." 

Her face softened slightly and she bit her inner lip, "Okay, then where were you?"

He held up a bag that she hadn't seen when he first came in, "I thought you might like something good to eat. I know hospital food is the worst."

Her eyes widened at the sweet gesture of his. He was late because he was thinking of her. He didn't go to the bar or casino, he went to her favorite burger joint across town, completely out of his way, to get her a cheeseburger and shake. 

"Oh, thank you," she murmured, shifted on her feet uncomfortably. She watched him nod and glance around the room, searching for something to say, but he was as lost as her in what to do next. God, she internally groaned, everything was so awkward between them now. 

"Oh," he said suddenly, his face lighting up a bit, "I forgot. I made another stop to pick something else up for you. Let me go get it."

Happy watched him silently as he set down the food and rushed out the front door, sighing in relief when he was gone. She had no idea what to say to him and hoped that whatever he brought back would give them that opening they both were looking for to talk and work everything out. 

She bit her lip nervously as she thought about the conversation to come. He needed to know how what he did not only affected himself, but her as well. He needed to know how scared she was for him, for them, when he walked out that door and wouldn't answer the phone. He needed to know how her heart broke when she needed him but he was nowhere to be found, the fear she felt not knowing if she and their baby were going to be alright while he wasn't there to comfort her. He needed to hear everything. 

But she didn't know how to do that and as much as she wanted to talk it through, she didn't want to. She didn't want to make herself vulnerable and open up to Toby. Not yet, not when the trust she had in him was broken and still fresh in her mind. Because she had trusted him, more than anything, and now she didn't know how to convince herself to do that again. She was scared to open herself up to him once more. She had been burned one too many times already in her life, so maybe it was time for her to take a step back and not put herself out there to be hurt all over again. 

He may not have actually gambled, but he still chose going to the cards for comfort instead of coming to her. He was there, outside the bar, only thinking about whether he should go in or not, while she was scared to death and groaning in pain as Cabe and Sly took her to the hospital. And to her, that was just as bad as if he had actually gambled. To her, it was a reminder that, once again, something other than herself and their family would come first. At the time that she needed someone the most, he wasn't there. And she didn't know how to get over that. 

Toby walked back in then, his back to her, carrying something large. When he turned around, she was surprised to see the dollhouse they had been working on together before his memory loss, another bag looped around his wrist with all the extra parts. 

"You brought the dollhouse?" she asked in confusion as he set it down on the coffee table. 

He smiled slightly and nodded, "I know I don't remember this, but when I look at it, I always feel happy. You've mentioned once or twice that you'd like to finish it for our little girl and since you're supposed to be on bed rest for the next few days, I thought maybe we could work on it? You know, maybe replace the memories that I lost with new ones?"

Happy blinked back tears, but didn't say anything. She couldn't. Emotions that she had been holding back closed her throat. So instead, she just stared in surprise. 

Toby nodded and shifted under her gaze, "We don't have to if you don't want to. It was just an idea." He shrugged and a small frown creased his forehead, "By the way, why are you on your feet? You need to be sitting and relaxing." He walked over and pulled out the kitchen chair for her, "Come. Sit and eat."

She nodded mutely and took a seat, still unsure about what to do or say. She murmured her thanks when Toby passed her a burger, but the room remained silent and awkward. 

"Uh," she cleared her throat after a few moments, but avoided his eyes, "I-I'm sorry that I thought you were late because you went to gamble. I appreciate what you did. You know with the food and the dollhouse?"

Toby reached over and placed his hand over hers, "I want to fix what I did and I will do whatever it takes to do that." His thumb rubbed gently over her knuckles and he sighed, "But I do have to admit, I am still thinking about a game. I, uh, I can't seem to get it out of my mind."

At his words, Happy stiffened, pulling her hand away from his, "After everything that's happened in the last 24 hours, you're still thinking about a game? You still want to gamble?"

"I can't turn it off, Happy," he said, trying to keep his voice quiet and steady, "It's not like a television or a radio where I can change the channel when there's something on that I don't like. Believe me, I wish it was."

Happy stared at him for a second before pushing away from the table and responding coldly, "Yeah, I wish it was that way too, but it's not. Just like I can't turn off being angry at you or forget about what happened."

"Happy," he began, leaning back in his seat, "I get that you're mad. So let's talk this out and figure out what to do. I want to hear everything that's going through your mind right now."

She shook her head, "No, you don't, Toby."

He sighed again, "Yes, I do. I know I should've talked to you after I came home, but-"

"You're damn right you should have," Happy snarled, standing up quickly, "but instead, you decided to go for a drive, forgetting all about your pregnant fiancée on her way to the hospital."

Toby stood up, taking a step forward and reached for her hand, but she moved back, out of his reach. He looked down and said quietly, "I didn't know you were going to the hospital. If I had, I would've been there in an instant."

"You didn't know because you wouldn't answer the damn phone. Now I want to know why you did what you did."

But before Toby could even start to think of a response, Happy laughed sharply, drawing his eyes to her face. It was filled with anger and fight and so much fear. Guilt passed through him as he realized for the millionth time that he did that to her. 

"You know what?" she began in a tone that broke Toby's heart, a tone that sounded like she was giving up, "Don't answer that. I already know the answer. It what you do, it's what you've always done when the going gets tough."

"Hap-" he looked at her pleadingly. 

"No," she said, holding up her hand to stop him, "I can't talk about it right now, I don't _want_ to talk about it. I can't even be around you." 

"Are you serious right now?" Toby asked fire jumping to his eyes, unable to hold back the anger in his voice as he caught her arm when she tried to brush past him, "You do realize that you're doing the same thing right now, right?"

Happy whirled her head around to pin him with her glare, "What the hell are you talking about? I'm not thinking about going out and ruining our lives because I'm upset by some news I got from the doctor. That's you doing that, not me."

"Very true," he growled, "but you are reverting back to what you know, to what I imagine you were like before we got together."

"Oh, and what's that?" she asked with an eye roll, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You're turning back to what you know and pushing me away, refusing to talk, because you're scared right now."

"It's not the same thing, Toby," she said through clenched teeth, "I literally cannot even begin to process everything that has gone on. I can't even stand thinking about it. So I'm not going to, not right now."

"Happy," he groaned, "we have to talk. We can't keep ignoring this."

"I don't want to talk right now. I told you, I don't want to even think about it. I just want to be alone," she punctuated her last words sharply.

"Fine," he said, throwing his hands up in the air in surrender, "push me away right now if you want. But just so you know, I'm not going anywhere because I love you and I won't let either of us throw our relationship away over something like this. So go be by yourself, but eventually we will talk, we will figure this out, and we will get better."

She turned on her heel to walk away from Toby when he grew quiet, but stopped when he called out her name softly. Turning back around slowly, she saw him with her burger and shake in his hand. 

"Sweetheart, be as mad as you want to be with me right now," he said gently, walking over to her, "but please, to ease my mind, eat this. You and the baby need it."

She nodded, but didn't let up with her glare, "Fine, I will. But I'm eating in the bedroom alone. Then watching a movie, alone."

"That's fine," he murmured, handing her the food, "Thank you." Then, with a kiss to the side of her head, he moved past her into the living room, giving her the space she said she wanted. 

Happy watched him for a second, her heart twisting in pain, even taking a step towards the living room to be with him. She didn't really want space, she wanted Toby. She wanted to be wrapped up in his arms, feeling safe and content again. But Toby was right, she was scared. So with a shaky breath, she turned and walked towards their bedroom and away from Toby.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, Toby was awakened by loud noises coming from the kitchen. He groaned, running his hands through his hair as he sat up, wincing slightly at the noise when Happy dropped another pan. He stretched out his sore back and looked around the living room, remembering why he was there and why he had to deal with the lumpy couch instead of his nice, comfortable bed the night before.

_The door to the bedroom creaked open and Toby couldn't stop the smile from covering his face, Happy was actually coming out of their room. He let himself hope that she was ready to start figuring everything out._

_"Hey, sweet pea. How're you feeling?" he asked cautiously with a smile as he turned to look over his shoulder._

_It immediately dropped off his face as she dropped the pillow and blankets in her arms onto the couch next to him._

_"What's this?" he asked in surprise._

_"What does it look like, genius?" Happy grumbled, narrowing her eyes slightly._

_"I know what it is, Happy," he rolled his eyes, "I mean why?"_

_Toby could see the hurt in her eyes, but her face spoke of nothing but good old fashioned Happy Quinn anger._

_"What part of 'I don't want to be around you right now' don't you understand?" she snapped, then couldn't help but adding coldly, "And this way I won't hear you when you sneak off tonight."_

_Toby felt like he had been stabbed and he couldn't stop the pain from rushing through him. He could see clearly now that her trust in him was quickly disappearing. He had to do something to make her understand he wasn't going to gamble again._

_"Happy," he said frantically, standing up and grabbing her hands in a firm grip, "please believe me. I will not do anything more to hurt you. I promise. I screwed up, I know, but, please, don't act like this. It isn't you, so distant, so cold, so-"_

_"It's obvious you have amnesia now," she interrupted sharply, breaking his hold on her, "I hate to break it to you, but this was me," she shook her head, "No, is me. I can't afford to let my guard down anymore." She took a deep breath and continued, "People always turn their backs on you. That was made clear all over again yesterday and all because you didn't get the news you wanted to hear."_

_"Stop," Toby was trying his best to keep his temper in check, but doing poorly, "You know exactly what I've been through, what we've been through, these past few months. I'm sorry if my urge is to go to the card table. From what you've said, my addiction was out of control for a long time. I can't help it if some part of me instinctively wants to go back there. But I didn't, Happy. When are you going to realize that?" Toby practically shouted the last part at her._

_Sighing, she looked heart broken. In a quiet, shattered voice, she whispered, "And when are you going to realize that's not what I'm upset about?"_

_He reached for her again, but she backed away. "Happy, I'm sorr-"_

_"Goodnight, Toby," she said firmly, turning to hurry down the hallway as fast as she could._

"Damn it," Happy whisper shouted, dropping another pan. 

Toby chuckled silently as he got up because no matter how upset they both were the night before, she was always doing something that made him smile. 

"Hey," he said sleepily when he got to the kitchen, leaning up against the door jamb. 

Happy barely spared him a glance as she searched through the cabinets. "Hi," she mumbled. 

He laughed again, "What are you doing, Hap?"

She sighed and turned around to face him, "I'm looking for that orange pan. You know that one I use to make eggs? I'm hungry and I want breakfast, and something more than cereal, but you were still sleeping, so I thought I'd just do it myself."

Stretching again, he walked further into the kitchen, "Well, I'm awake now. I can make breakfast. And I think it's two cabinets to your right," he pointed to the one cabinet he could tell she hadn't opened, "Do you actually want eggs or were you just going to make it because it's the only breakfast food you can make?"

She looked at him hopefully, "Well, I wouldn't mind waffles instead?"

He grinned at her, "Waffles it is then."

An awkward silence fell around the couple, both of them wanting to apologizing, but neither knowing how. 

Toby cleared his throat, "So, um, how did you sleep?"

She shrugged and looked down at the floor, "Alright, I guess."

He knew she was lying but nodded anyway, "Good, good."

And the awkward silence was back as Toby gathered the ingredients he would need. 

Finally, Toby could take it no more. He knew she wasn't good at this type of stuff, so he'd have to start. He needed to let her know that he knew why she was upset and it wasn't because of the gambling, but how he just walked out the door and ignored her, instead of going to her for support. 

He set down the flour and turned to her, "Listen, babe, about last night-"

"Don't," she interrupted him, looking slightly uncomfortable, "I'm, uh, I'm going to go get cleaned up." She started backing out of the kitchen, "Um, just-just let me know when the waffles are done."

Toby watched as she walked away, then turned and leaned his arms on the counter, hanging his head. It pained him to see Happy like that, to have their relationship hanging on by a thread. He wanted to fix everything, but he just didn't know how. 

Thirty minutes later Happy still hadn't come out of their bedroom. He was waiting for her to put the batter in the waffle maker so the waffles wouldn't be cold. With a sigh, he made his way down the hallway to their bedroom, knocking gently on the door before pushing it open.

"Happy, sweetheart, I'm just waiting on you now," he said quietly, entering the room. 

He was surprised to see Happy sitting on the bed without a shirt on, gauze, antiseptic, and medical tape surrounding her. She was sitting there, struggling to re-bandage the incision with her growing belly. An annoyed huff blew out of her mouth when yet another piece of tape folded on itself and became useless. 

"You know. I can do that for you. I am a doctor," Toby said lightly, holding back his laugh. 

"I can do it myself," she grumbled, briefly looking up as he walked her way. 

"I know you can," he said, taking a seat on the bed next to her and batting her hands away from the supplies, "but you don't have to."

Happy sighed in defeat and let her hands drop to her sides, "Fine. Go ahead."

He smiled at her and began looking at her incision, checking for any signs of infection. "You know," he murmured, resting his one hand on her stomach absentmindedly, his thumb gently rubbing back and forth over her skin, "As far as scars go, this one will be nice. It's straight and the stitches are very neat. You had a good surgeon."

Happy just nodded as she stared mutely at Toby's hand resting on her stomach. It felt so right and Happy loved it, but at the same time she felt that she should push him off with how angry she was. But she couldn't, she was lost in the comforting feeling of being close to Toby again. Slowly moving her own hand, she placed it next to Toby's, interlocking her pinky with his. He looked up and met her eyes, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth and for that moment, everything felt right again. 

Then with a blink, Happy cleared her mind and pulled her hand back, nodding towards the gauze, hoping Toby would get the hint. 

"Right," he said, clearing his throat, "Let's get you bandaged up. Breakfast is waiting."

He quickly cleaned and covered the incision in silence as Happy watched him, chewing on her lip the entire time. 

"All done," he whispered, placing the medical tape back down on the bed, letting his hand brush over her bump one more time. 

Then, unable to help himself, he reached up and cupped her cheek, his thumb swiping under her eye where dark circles lay. They stayed frozen there for a while, both of them silently staring at one another, caught up in the moment. 

"I love you," he then murmured, the words so naturally falling from his lips, as he pulled her head towards him so he could place a kiss on her forehead. 

When she didn't say anything back, but just continued to stare at him with wide eyes, he dropped his hand and stood up. 

"Right," he said in a strained voice, "Waffles will be ready in just a couple minutes."

He could feel her eyes watching him as he walked towards the door. It took everything in his power to not go back to her and beg her to forgive him. All he wanted was to kiss her and prove to her he would always be there for her. Though as she stayed quiet, he couldn't help feel that he was losing her and that gutted him. 

But just as he was pulling the door shut, he barely heard Happy whisper, not for his ears, but only for her own, "I love you too, Doc." At those five words, a weight was lifted off Toby and realized that all hope wasn't lost. His Happy was still there, she was just hiding at the moment. 

So for the rest of the day Toby tried to bring out his Happy, but nothing seemed to work. He tried talking to her like they used to, but she would ignore him, often turning back to whatever book she was reading or project she was working on like he wasn't even there. He tried getting her to play a game or watch a movie, but she'd shrug and say she wasn't in the mood to do that, especially with him. He even made her favorite cookies, hoping to bring a smile to her face, but all he got was a nod and mumbled thanks as she pointed to where he could set down the plate. 

He could see as the day wore on that Happy was getting more and more angry and more scared that what had happened would happen again, especially since Toby didn't try to broach the subject with her again. He didn't think she was ready to talk things through, even though he wanted to desperately. It seemed to him that she was drawing back into herself, reverting to the old habits she had broken when they first got together; habits that he had only ever heard about before. It was obvious to him that she didn't want to, but she couldn't seem stop herself from it. 

Toby was at his wits end on what to do as he set up his last hope of getting her to talk - the dollhouse. If this wouldn't work, he didn't know what would. 

"Happy," he called out softly, approaching the bedroom door. 

"What, Toby?" she responded, slightly annoyed. 

He pushed open the door, "Uh, I was wondering if-if maybe you'd want to work on the dollhouse? I know you're probably a little bored in here."

She looked down, finding sudden interest in a loose thread on their quilt. And just when Toby was about to turn around and let her be, she whispered, "Okay."

Toby grinned, unable to stop his excitement from coming through, "Great. I have everything set up. Or, if you want, I can bring it in here?"

Happy shook her head and shifted to get off the bed, "No, I've been in here long enough. A change of scenery would be nice." 

She winced slightly as she slid to the floor and Toby immediately started making his way over to her to help. But she stopped him with a glare and a growled, "I'm fine".

It took her a little longer than normal to make it to the living room, but when she did, she had to hide her smile. Toby had not only set up the dollhouse and all of her tools, but he had even made snacks and her favorite tea. He really was trying to make it up to her, but that still didn't stop the seed of doubt from sprouting into something bigger. 

"Uh, can I get you anything else?" he asked quietly, as she took her seat. 

Shaking her head, she finally let a small smile grace her lips, "No, I'm okay. Thank you."

Aside from asking him to pass a certain tool or part, those were the last words she said to Toby as they worked on the dollhouse. He was getting frustrated and it was getting harder for him to hold it back. He had been hoping they could work on the dollhouse and have fun - talk, joke, just go back to normal. But she was shutting him out and he knew that playful feeling he was hoping for wouldn't happen unless he got her to open up again. 

After two straight hours of tense silence, he carefully laid his hand over her own, "Hey, sweetheart, maybe we should take a break and talk?"

"Don't want to talk," she mumbled, squinting at the small piece in her hand not covered by his. 

He plucked the piece out of her hand and put a finger on her chin, turning her head to face him, "We need to talk. The stress and tension isn't good for you or the baby."

She pulled her chin from his grasp, but didn't look away, "Fine, we'll talk. Are you still thinking about gambling?"

Toby clenched his jaw, knowing his answer would upset her, but he had to be truthful. "Yes, I am. I told you, I can't just turn the want off, it's going to take time to push it to he back of my mind."

"Hmm," she hummed through pursed lips, "Okay, never mind. I changed my mind, I don't want to talk. I could say something wrong and set you off. And I won't watch you go out that door again to gamble everything away."

"Happy," he groaned, letting his head fall back, "I told you, I won't walk out that door and gamble. I won't do that to you. I promise."

"Right," she said under her breath, standing. 

Toby reached for her hand, stopping her before she could walk away again, "You can trust me, Hap." 

Biting her bottom lip, she nodded, the distrust evident in her eyes, and walked away. She wanted to believe him, she really did, but inside she was afraid to believe those words. She had make that mistake before, trusting in people, and time had shown her over and over again that people always let you down. 

"Happy, please," he begged quietly, "Don't walk away from me."

At his words, Happy halted, realizing she was doing what Toby had done, ignoring the problem. With that thought in mind, she whirled around with an accusing look on her face and raised her voice, "Okay, fine. You want to talk so badly, we'll talk. Let's start with this, I'm dying to know, why didn't you stay and talk it through with me then, instead of waiting until now to talk?"

Toby ran his hand down his face in annoyance that she wanted to fight, not talk. When he spoke, his words came out harsher than he wanted, "I don't know. I guess it's because I didn't have control, so I left to find it, much like you're doing now. You're pushing me away and fighting with me so we don't have to talk, so you have control over the situation."

Happy huffed at his accusation, "It's not the same thing, Toby!"

"I didn't me-"

"You know what?" she interrupted him, "I'm going to bed."

"See?!" Toby shouted out, throwing his hands up in the air, "You're doing it now, you're avoiding the situation once again."

Happy glared at him, "No, I'm not. I'm not avoiding anything. In case you didn't remember I had emergency surgery the other day." She placed her hands on her stomach, "And I'm growing a baby. I'm tired, I have a headache, and I'm still a little sore, so I'm going to bed instead of fighting with you." She started walking away, then turned back around, "If you're still here in the morning and not at a table, we can talk then."

Happy felt guilty walking away, but she had to get out of there before she said anything worse that she couldn't take back. So she hurried away from him, hating herself every second for walking away like he did and not facing the problem head on. He was right - she knew what she was doing by being angry and refusing to talk, but she couldn't help it and she sure as hell would never admit that to Toby. She only hoped that with tomorrow would come a new solution to figure everything out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Happy," Toby's soft voice called out. She felt the bed dip next to her and his fingers brush the hair out of her face, "Love bug, wake up."

Slowly, Happy opened her eyes, blinking as they adjusted to see Toby's face, complete with a soft smile, looking down at her. Even with as angry as she was at him, she couldn't stop her responding smile. "Hi," she murmured sleepily, "What time is it?"

"It's already 10:30," he said with a light laugh, placing his hand on her stomach, his smile widening when their baby kicked his hand. 

"What? How is it that late already?" she asked, eyes wide with surprise. 

He shrugged, "You must've been tired."

She yawned and thought how right he was. She was up most of the night tossing and turning, unable to find a comfortable position without Toby there. And to top it all off, her mind was whirling, trying to figure out how to get over what happened, because as much as she denied it, she realized she still trusted Toby and always would. It was close to five in the morning before she finally fell into a fitful sleep. 

"Guess so," she mumbled, sitting up. Lifting an eyebrow, she asked, "What are you doing in here?"

He smiled gently at her, "I was coming to say goodbye."

Happy's heart stopped, "What?"

Quickly realizing his mistake, he shook his head, "No, not like that. I'm not leaving. Well-" he bit his lip, "I am, but not because of anything between us. I mean-"

Happy placed a hand on his forearm and laughed lightly, "You have to go somewhere?"

A nervous smile crossed Toby's face, "Yes, I do. Uh, Walter called and needs me, but only for a few hours. I'll be back this afternoon."

She nodded and squeezed his arm, "I got it. Go. I'll be fine."

Toby stood, "Okay, good. But call me if you need anything. I promise, I will answer, no matter what. Even if you just want me to pick up mint chocolate chip ice cream on the way home. Anything, Happy."

She smiled sweetly at him, momentarily forgetting her anger, "Okay, got it. I will."

"Trust me, Happy, I will do whatever you want. No more being stupid."

Happy reached out and interlocked his fingers with hers, "I'm trying, Toby. I know mistakes we're made, on both our ends. I-I just need some more time."

He stood up, "And I will give you that time." Then he leaned down and kissed the top of her head, murmuring, "We will get better." When he stood straight again, his signature Toby smirk was back on his face, "Now get your lazy ass out of bed. I made you breakfast and it's waiting. You don't want it to get cold. And I do really have to go."

"Ay, ay, Captain," she smirked, rising to her feet, holding back her giggle at the playful frown on his face. 

"Don't tempt me, woman," he teased as left the room. 

Happy felt her grin grow as she realized that for the first time since he had walked out the door, they had fallen back into their comfortable, playful banter. She hadn't known how much she had missed it until it was back. And it was exhausting being angry all the time; she was ready to let that go. Hope blossomed inside of her again - maybe they would be okay after all and maybe she had no reason to hide herself away like she had been doing.

Needing to catch Toby before he left, she hurried down the hall as fast as she could. He was just grabbing his bag when she saw him. 

"Wait," she said, making her way over to him. When she got close, she fisted her hands in his jacket and looked him in the eye, "I'm sorry."

He looked down at her in confusion. 

"I'm sorry I haven't been listening and I'm sorry I've been pushing you away. What do you say we talk when you get home, for real this time? I'm ready to move on."

"I'd love to, sweet pea," he whispered against her forehead where he had placed a kiss.

Smiling up at him, she raised on her toes and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, "Hurry home, Doc."

"You have my word," he mumbled, kissing her briefly one more time before pulling away and heading out the door.

After a few hours, and no word from Toby on when he'd be back, Happy decided to give Walter a call and scope out what was going on. She wanted to show Toby that she did trust him, even if she had said other otherwise. But still, a part of her needed to know what was happening, to reassure herself that everything was alright. So she picked up her phone and called her boss, hoping he'd tell her what she wanted to here. 

"Hey, Happy," he said, answering the phone. 

"Hey, listen, you know those battery specs I emailed you?"

"The new battery you designed?"

"That's the one. Uh, could you email those to me. I had an idea of a way to make it even more efficient, but when I went to look at the specs, they had been deleted."

"Sure, no problem. Sending them your way now." 

She heard him sigh through the phone. 

"What is it, Walt?" she asked with an annoyed tone. 

"Are you sure you should be working? When I talked to Toby, he said you had to take it easy for a few days."

Happy laughed, "He's being paranoid. I'll be fine. How's he doing?"

"Um, okay, I guess. Why are you asking me?"

"Just wondering because I haven't from him in awhile." She paused, realizing she wanted to hear Toby's voice and talk to him herself, "Actually, I do need to remind him of something and since you're already on the phone, could you hand it over?"

"Toby's not here," he stated.

"Oh, is he out on the job?"

"Uh, no," Walter sounded confused, "I haven't seen Toby for days."

The smile that had been fixed on Happy's face since that morning dropped, as did her heart, "You mean you didn't call Toby into the garage?"

"Nope," Walter responded, "No job today. It's just me here, actually."

At hearing that, Happy dropped her phone to the floor. If Toby wasn't at the garage on a case, then where the hell was he and what the hell was he doing?


	13. ...Die Hard (part two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy and Toby try to deal with their latest setback, but old habits die hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this whopper of a chapter - part two of ...Die Hard. And please, please, please let me know what you think! It makes my day! :-)

Toby paced nervously in the elevator as he rode to the fifth floor of the building in downtown LA. He had been so sure of this this morning when he called an old friend from med school, but now he was doubting himself - especially after lying to Happy. He didn't know why he didn't just tell her he was going to see a therapist to start helping him get over what appeared to now be permanent memory loss. But when she asked where he was going, the lie rolled off his tongue before he could even think. Guilt ate at him as soon as he walked out the front door without her truly knowing where he was going, but he justified it by telling himself that he didn't want to get her hopes up that this would help him. So he kept on walking to the car, keeping her in the dark. 

He fiddled with his phone, toying with the idea of giving her a call to let her know what was going on. But he quickly dismissed it and put his phone back in his pocket. If this was a success, he would tell her everything the second he saw her. Hopefully Happy's willingness to talk things through was still there when he got home. He was just as eager as her to get back to normal. 

The elevator doors slid open and Toby stepped out into the posh waiting room of Jones, Berkstead, & McCarthy Psychiatry. There was no turning back now, he thought as the receptionist smiled at him. 

"Hi, how can I help you?" the elderly lady asked. 

"Uh, hi. My name is Toby Curtis. I, um, I'm supposed to have an appointment with, uh, what's his name, uh Jeff? My friend, Susan Mohler, called. She's a friend of Jeff's and got me in."

"Ah, Mr. Curtis, yes, there you are. Why don't you take a seat and I'll let Dr. Jones know you're here."

He nodded and moved to a plush chair next to a window overlooking downtown. 

"If you need anything, Hannah, just let me know. You can call me at any time," said a soft voice from behind him. 

Toby glanced around and saw a blonde doctor talking to a patient who couldn't have been more than 16; he could see right away that she was battling anxiety among some other things. If Toby had to guess, he would say her anxiety levels were so high that it led to her dropping out of school and it was a big deal that she even ventured out to see the doctor. She reminded him a little bit of Sly, or what he assumed Sly was like when he first met him. Not wanting to intrude on a doctor-patient confidential moment any longer, he turned back around, but not before the doctor looked his way in surprise. 

"I'll see you on Friday," the doctor said to the girl, the tone of her voice having gone up a notch. 

Toby glanced toward the young girl again as she headed to the elevator with her head down, wondering if he had ever dealt with someone so young before. These were the times, when no one was around to tell him, that he really missed his memory. What did he do? What was he like? How many people did he help? Who was he before he joined Scorpion? Because thanks to the team, he had at least heard many stories about his time with the rest of he team. 

"Toby? Is that you?" the doctor whispered suddenly, directly behind him. 

So caught up in his thoughts about his unknown past, he hadn't heard her sneak up behind him until she spoke. Startled, he jumped out of his seat and whirled around to face the doctor. 

"You're not Dr. Jeff Jones," he commented, trying to calm his racing heart. 

She laughed lightly, "Always the one with a joke."

Toby didn't smile. He didn't know who she was or why she acted like she knew him. He cocked his head and took in the lady in front of him. Her straight blonde hair was cut by her jaw, showing off her long slender neck. Her bright blue eyes twinkled with amusement and a content smile graced her lips. She was beautiful, in a sophisticated way; her skirt suit and pearls adding to the professional air about her. But no matter how much he wracked his brain, he couldn't place who she was.

"Uh, do I know you?" Toby asked, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

She threw her head back in laughter and placed a manicured hand on his forearm, "Good to see you still have your sense of humor after all these years."

He grimaced as she looked at him, shaking his head as the humor dropped from her eyes.

"It's me, Amy," she said, placing a hand over her chest, "Amy, Amy. Amy Col-, uh, Berkstead now. You know me."

Even though he recognized the name, he shook his head slowly, "No, I don't. I'm sorry."

She looked confused, "Wow, did I do so much damage to you that you put me out of your mind for good? Or have I just changed that much? I know the hair is different, but otherwise-"

"No," he interrupted her, "It's not you, it's me."

She gave a nervous laugh, "Can honestly say I've never heard that one before. Used it a few times though."

"No, really. I, uh-" he shifted on his feet and put his hands into his pockets wondering if he could trust her. He looked up and saw her concerned face. Something about her seemed familiar and she _was_ a psychiatrist, so he supposed he could tell her why he was there, "I had an incident a few months ago and I can't remember anything about the past 17 years of my life. That's," he shrugged, "actually why I'm here."

"Oh my," she gasped, "I am so sorry. Are you okay now? I mean physically? You look fine."

Shooting her a small smile, he nodded, "I'm okay now. And I actually thought I was dealing with everything, but now, I'm realizing, not so much. So here I am." 

"Well, I'm glad you're getting help," she said in a kind voice, squeezing his arm, "I can honestly say I never thought I'd see the day." She laughed and deepened her voice, doing her best to imitate him, "No one was ever good enough to treat the great Dr. Tobias M. Curtis."

Toby chuckled at that, "Believe me, I wouldn't be here if I didn't have to be. I'm still not entirely comfortable with letting another medical professional help me."

She smiled softly at him, "I'm glad you're here," she winked, "and not just because it makes my practice looks good. Well, it was good to see you, even if you don't have any idea who I am. Uh, let me know if you need anything. I'd be happy to help."

"Thank you, Amy. I appreciate it." He took a seat again as she walked away, only to suddenly stand realizing she'd be able to fill in some of his blank spaces, "Wait, Amy?"

She turned, "Yes?"

"Amy, Amy Berkstead. We were togeth- uh, engaged, right?"

She nodded before looking down in what appeared to be shame, "We were."

"That's why the name was familiar," he muttered. 

"So you remember?" Amy asked him, walking cautiously towards him. 

"No, no memory. I just realized that I had heard your name before. In an attempt to get me to remember."

"And that would make sense. Familiar names, pictures, places, they're all used to bring forth memories in people suffering from head trauma."

Toby stepped toward her, "So that means you're familiar with my past, right?"

She nodded, "Only a certain part of your past, but yes, I am."

He looked at the painting over her shoulder to avoid her eyes, "So you have experience with my, uh, my gambling problem?"

"Is that what this is about?"

He met her eyes, "Partly, yes. I just have some questions that I think you could answer and I was wondering if some time we could meet to talk?"

She looked over at the receptionist, "Miranda, cancel all of my appointments today. I'll stay late the rest of the week if they want to reschedule. And please tell Dr. Jones that I'll be seeing Dr. Curtis now."

"Of course, Dr. Berkstead."

"No, Amy," Toby started, "You don't have to do this."

She smiled, "I want to." A nervous laugh bubbled out of her, "I owe it to you. Please, follow me."

Toby followed her into her office, looking around at the pictures and diplomas on the walls. He noticed how happy she looked in all of her pictures and that made him feel good. From the little Happy had told him, he knew they ended on bad terms and it took a long time and a few choice words from Amy to finally get Toby to give up on getting her, and what he thought was his only chance at a normal life, back. So seeing her happy and content, that made him feel good - he didn't ruin her life as much as he thought he had. 

Amy pointed to the white leather couch across the room, "Take a seat, get comfortable."

"Right, that is what the patient is supposed to do," he said, sitting uncomfortably on the edge of the couch. 

"Toby, we both know this isn't a normal session," she said, taking a seat next to him, "I'm not even going to take notes. We'll just talk, both of us, and see where that leads us. Please, don't put pressure on yourself. You always hated when people tried to out-Toby you in the psych department, so I'm not even going to try."

"Thanks," he said, letting his eyes dart around the room again, "Uh, what do you want to know?"

Amy leaned back into the couch, getting comfortable, "Maybe we should start with how you lost your memory."

"Of course," he chuckled nervously, "you need to know the facts." He cleared his throat, "It was about seven months ago, twenty-seven weeks and three days to be exactly. I was at work and, long story short, I ended up getting kidnapped, used as a punching bag, and then involved in an explosion. When I woke up, the last thing I could remember was graduating from med school when I was 17."

Amy's hand shot out and grabbed his, squeezing it tightly, "I am so sorry, Toby. I can't imagine having to deal with that. Have you talked to anyone about it?"

"Just my fiancée, but, to be honest, I haven't been the most forthcoming with her about what's going on in my head."

"You're engaged?" she asked softly, surprise lacing her voice.

Toby grinned, "I am and she's amazing. She has been my rock throughout this whole thing. I don't know what I'd do without her. She's strong and beautiful, and god, she's brilliant. She's the best person I know. And best of all, she loves me for me - warts and all."

Sadness briefly flickered in her eyes, which surprised Toby. But before he could question it, she said, "I'm happy for you, Toby. What's her name?"

"Happy-"

"Quinn?" Amy interrupted him, then murmured to herself, "I guess that doesn't surprise me."

Toby was surprised, "You know her?"

She shook her head, "No, I never met her. You just mentioned her a time or two," she laughed and rolled her eyes, "Or a thousand."

He grinned, "She's unbelievable and unlike anyone I've ever met, what can I say? I'm pretty crazy about her." His face dropped suddenly when he noticed was saying and he rubbed his hands over his knees, "For what it's worth though, from what I know, I never, I mean, we never-"

"I know, Toby," Amy said quickly, stopping him, "You weren't the one who would do that."

After an awkward pause, Amy spoke again, "But you're happy?"

Toby grinned again as he thought of Happy, "Very much so. She's made my life as normal as it can be ever since I woke up with no memory or her or the team or pretty much anything. She has never stopped trying to help me. I love her more than anything." He sobered, "And that's why I'm here. I did something that I'm not proud of and it hurt Happy in one of the worst ways possible. Her history might be even worse than mine and I basically lived out one of her deepest fears. I need to figure things out, Amy, for her."

"What happened?" Amy looked concerned. 

Toby looked sad as he started to recount the events from just a few days ago, "I had just come home from a doctors appointment where I was told my memory loss was most likely permanent. I wasn't in a good place; it felt like any bit of control I had over my life was gone. It was almost as if the person I wanted to be, who I thought I was, was lost when I heard I probably wouldn't get my memories back. It got into my head and I could focus on nothing but somehow gaining control over myself again. So after getting angry, I just left. I walked out the door without a second glance behind me."

"Okay, I'm not hearing anything too horrible. It all seems to be very normal in a situation like yours."

"None of that was the problem."

"So what was then?" she prodded. 

"You see, Happy has never had anyone before me and the team stay permanently in her life. It's not my place to tell you about her life, but she's never had anyone to rely on in her life. She says no one sticks around."

Amy nodded, trying to understand, "Okay, and you left. You walked out on her instead of staying and discussing your diagnosis?"

"Yes," he whispered, "but that wasn't the worst part. She had been having pains in her side, but I just wrote it off as braxton hicks. As I was-"

"Wait a minute," she stopped him with a hand to his shoulder. A small smile crossed her face, "Happy's pregnant? You're going to be a dad?"

Toby was unable to keep the excitement off his face, "Yeah, we're going to have a baby." He pulled out his phone, momentarily forgetting about this issues he was just beginning to talk about with Amy. He scrolled through his phone to show Amy pictures. Pictures of the nursery, sonograms, even a candid side shot of Happy. He stopped on a picture that Paige had taken during a family dinner one night. He and Happy were laughing about something and his hand was resting on her stomach. That picture perfectly showed everything they were feeling about each other and their family-to-be of three. 

"You are so in love," Amy commented, almost to herself, "And so is she." She leaned over and hugged Toby, "You did good, Toby. I think you've found the one person you're meant to be with."

"I know I did," he agreed with her, slipping his phone back into his coat pocket. 

"You're going to make one hell of a dad."

Toby took in a deep breath, "I hope so. God, I want to be. And that's why I'm here. I need to get my issues under control before my little miss comes into the world in seven or so weeks."

"Well then, let's get back to it," she said, clapping her hands together, "So you thought Happy was just having braxton hicks?"

Toby shifted back into seriousness, "Exactly, so I left. I had no idea where I was going, but as I was driving, my dad's voice came into my head, encouraging me to go gamble. After that, the urge only grew stronger and I found myself parked outside a bar. I guess I had promised Happy awhile ago that I would stop and I did, I have. I didn't gamble that night, as much as I wanted to. But while I was debating about going in or not, Happy was being rushed to the hospital for an appendectomy. I ignored all of her calls. It was her worst nightmare come true." Toby looked down at his hands in guilt. He still felt horrible about it and knew that he always would. 

"And she's having trouble trusting you again, I suppose?"

"Oh yeah," he breathed out, "Big time. And it doesn't help that I am still constantly thinking about gambling. Ever since I heard my dad's voice, I can think of almost nothing else. Happy's afraid that I'm going to go gamble, leaving her behind once again. Just like everyone else has left her."

"But you know you won't do that, right?"

"I do," he nodded, "I'd rather die than hurt her again. When she hurts, I hurt."

Amy was quiet for a moment as she thought things over. Tucking her hair behind her ear, she asked, "Are you thinking about gambling right now?"

Toby closed his eyes, hating his response, "I am. I can't stop. I still feel as if I don't have any control over my brain or the situation and gambling gives that back to me. I know it doesn't make sense, but what is sense to an addict? I also know that I won't be able to lessen the urge until I start making sense of what's going on inside my head. I need to somehow learn to accept this," he pointed to his head, "before I can move on and tackle my gambling addiction."

"It's wonderful that you recognize that, Toby. Many addicts could never do that. But this loss of control, this urge to gamble, is it all stemming from this one moment when the doctor told you about the possibility of not getting your memories back?"

Toby thought about that for a second; he had never considered before if more set him off. He thought back to the beginning, right after the woke up. He was angry and confused back then, but aside from the occasional outburst, he didn't really share that with anyone. Then as time went on, he was hopeful, especially when memories were coming to the surface, but he was still scared. His brain wasn't working the way it was supposed to and that frustrated him, but he hid it from Happy and the rest of the team. He didn't want to feel like a burden to them. Then now, that last blow with the doctor shattered all of his hope. He was always going to have to deal with it and that was just too much to handle, so he broke. 

"No," he said slowly, shaking his head, "It wasn't just this one moment. It's been everything building up over these past seven months. I've been pushing it aside until it bubbled over."

"What have you been feeling, Toby?" Amy asked, encouraging him to dig deep and share everything he had been hold back. 

So that's what he did. It all came tumbling out, every thought and every feeling he had over the past seven months. He talked about everyone's efforts to get him to remember. He talked about how annoyed he was at Happy keeping things from him to try to protect him. He talked about the pressure he felt having to fill in these shoes of who he was before the accident and be that man again. He even talked about falling in love with Happy again and how it was the one bright spot in everything that had happened. He didn't realize until he stopped talking a couple hours later that it had been such a weight on his shoulders, keeping it all in and bottling it all up for no one to see but him. He instantly felt a million times lighter, like he was a completely new man. The urge to gamble, while still there, had lessened immensely. 

It wasn't that he had never shared what he was feeling, but he realized now that he didn't tell Happy everything because he was scared to put anymore stress on her after everything she had been forced to deal with - a fiancé who couldn't remember, a pregnancy with said fiancé, pretending that she was okay. He didn't want to add to what she was already carrying, so he stayed quiet. He stopped himself from doing what he encouraged her to do every day. 

"You've had to deal with more than I could've ever imagined. I'm amazed you've been able to keep it all together for this long."

"I haven't kept it all together," he gave a self-deprecating laugh, "That's why I'm here. How do I accept that my mind is broken? It's always been the one constant in my life. I've always been able to rely on it."

Amy patted his knee, "You have to do it one step at a time. Your brain is still amazing. You still use it to solve difficult problems. You haven't lost your brain, Toby, so you shouldn't act like you have. It's still in that big old head of yours, you just have to start accepting that it has been modified. It'll be difficult, but I know you can do it." She rolled her eyes, "And for heavens sake, don't hide from your fiancée. It's clear she wants to help you, but you're subconsciously pushing her away. Let her help you. Lord knows she's probably the only person you'll ever listen to."

Toby bounced his knee nervously and said in a whisper, "What if it gets to be too much for her and she leaves? I couldn't handle that."

"Toby," she said soothingly, "from what I've heard, Happy sounds like a pretty stubborn woman. She's not going to give up on you so easily. She a good woman to have by your side, who will stick by you no matter what."

"I sometimes wonder if she is too good for me," he admitted, staring out the window next to him, "What if she's just settling for me because I understand her like others haven't before? What if she's starting to realize I'm not the person she wants anymore? You should've seen her these past couple days - she was so angry, more so than I've ever seen before. I for sure thought that I lost her."

Amy took a deep breath, taking a second to figure out how to get Toby to listen to what she was saying, "She loves you Toby. You don't get mad at someone's self-destructing ways unless you really love them." She grabbed his hand and his head turned her way, his eyes locking with hers. She continued in a quiet, reassuring voice, "She loves you so much that she wants you to get better; she's even willing to fight _you_ for it. She's doing what I never did." An uncomfortable laugh passed her lips, "If that doesn't tell you how much she loves, how much she wants to stick by your side, then you need to do a reexamination of your life. I know, with your history it's hard to accept that someone truly loves you for you, but she does. She wouldn't do everything she's doing right now if she didn't."

"You really believe that," he commented, seeing the conviction in her eyes. 

She nodded, "I do. Not only has she probably changed her entire lifestyle for you, but you've changed for her. You're willing to get help for her, just like she's willing to do what it takes to help you get better. When you've found someone that you're willing to do that for, you know it's an unbreakable love. And I truly believe that with all my heart."

A half smile graced Toby's face, "You talk about that like you've had personal experience with it."

Amy did nothing other than nod. 

"Was it us?" he questioned, before changing his mind at seeing her stiffen, "No, don't answer that, I can tell from your body language it was us." He reached over, squeezing her should, "I'm sorry I couldn't change for you."

Amy forced a smile onto her face, "And I'm sorry for how I treated you. It doesn't matter if you remember or not, I'm still sorry. It wasn't fair for either of us to try to force each other to change and accept what we wanted individually. But I am grateful for what we had. Everything that went wrong between us allowed us to find the right one, the one we're both willing to do whatever it takes to keep. Our relationship was a stepping stone to one that was so much bigger, so much better for us. We both know," she gave a sheepish smile, "or knew, deep down that we never would've been able to make it work. We were both too selfish for that."

"I can believe that," Toby said, raising his eyebrows and nodding in agreement. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course, go ahead."

He bit his lip nervously, then asked, "What were we like? What was I like when we were together? I'd like to know, but only if you're willing to share."

"We, uh," she began on an exhale, "we thought we were in love in the beginning. We were everything to each other that we thought we wanted. But, like I said, we were selfish and there's no room for that in a relationship. Eventually you couldn't give me what I wanted and I couldn't give you what you wanted and I'm pretty sure we just about hated each other at the end. But for some reason, we stayed together."

"So it was that bad?" Toby asked sadly, ashamed at what he might've been like back then.

"Not at first, no," she said quickly. Getting up, she rounded her her desk and pulled over a drawer taking out an old photo. She handed it to Toby, "This was us."

Toby looked down and saw himself, only a decade younger, with his arm around a younger version of Amy. They were both smiling, but he could see in their eyes that the smile didn't reach. From this picture, he could tell right away, they were comfortable, not happy and in love like they thought. This picture was the exact opposite of all the other pictures Amy had around her office and all the pictures Toby had on his phone. Those pictures spoke of love and happiness, not whatever this photo showed. 

"Why do you have this?" he questioned, handing the picture back to her. 

"To remind me to never become that person again," she stated matter-of-factly. 

"Ouch," Toby tried to joke.

"That has nothing to do with you. When I was with you, especially at the end, I wasn't proud of myself. I stayed with you for the wrong reasons. I hurt you, when I had absolutely no need to. I could've gotten out before you gambled away our wedding money, our life savings. But I didn't, I chose to stay and become a person I didn't recognize."

"Can we talk about that?" Toby asked quietly, "Can you tell me about that time in my life?"

Quietly, she walked to a shelf and pulled down the bottle of scotch sitting on it, quickly pouring herself and Toby a drink. Then taking a deep breath, she sat down in the chair across from Toby, "It's not a happy story. Hell it's not even really a sad story because in the end we both got something so much better. But it's our story and it may hurt."

He nodded, leaning back on the couch, "I can handle it. I know the basics of what happened, so I don't think it'll be a surprise."

Amy grew quiet, thinking back to that time in her life, collecting her hidden away memories and bringing them forward. Just when Toby was about to tell her never mind, she began talking. 

"When I first met you, I was a third year med student on rotation in the psych ward." A fond smile grew, "You were this hot shot, young, genius doctor there to check up on a few of your patients. You were such a flirt," she laughed, "Showing off your genius skills for all the girls on rotation. We all fell for your charm, thinking we might be the lucky one that you would take out on the town. But while we were there, you broke our hearts and never did more than flirt; although, it was a refreshing difference from the other med students and hotshot doctors - none quite as young as yourself though. I have to admit, I was pretty smitten from the start."

Toby chuckled, imagining himself as that young doctor roaming the halls of the hospital, running his own private practice. It was all rather boring to him now, but he bet at that time, he loved it.

Amy continued, "Then a week after my rotation ended, after I thought you had forgotten all about me and everyone else, there you were in the hospital cafeteria holding my favorite smoothie, just waiting for me. After that, things moved fairly quickly. I got caught up in dating the world renown Dr. Tobias M. Curtis and didn't even realize that things were going downhill for you."

Furrowing his brow, Toby didn't know if he wanted to hear how his gambling caused problems - he already had a pretty good idea. But, he wanted to know about his life, so it was a necessary evil. He just hated the look that had come over Amy's face when she mentioned him going downhill. 

"You were already gambling when we first started dating. Not so much that it was a problem, but frequent enough for me to notice." She looked down, smoothing out the wrinkles in her skirt, "A year passed and you were hating your job. All you would do is complain about the patients who'd complain to you." She looked up and met his eye, "And the more you hated your job, the more you would gamble. But I ignored it because I thought it was just a phase and everything was going to be alright. I mean I was still dating the best psychiatrist out there, wasn't I?" 

They shared an uncomfortable laugh at that. 

"When you quit private practice, I was taken aback," she admitted, "This person, this life I had known was suddenly changing. But," she shrugged, "we were in a comfortable relationship and I don't think either of us wanted to rock the boat; for me, you represented everything I grew up thinking I wanted - a smart, handsome, funny doctor - and for you, I represented that chance for a normal life that you didn't have growing up. And, god," she grimaced, "your gambling was the worst I had ever seen it at the point. I finally asked you to stop and you laughed in my face saying gambling was just a part of you that I would have to accept. So I did."

"Not cool, Toby," he muttered under his breath.

Amy chuckled and agreed, before going on, "When Walter found you and you joined Scorpion, the gambling got better for awhile. You were excited and happy to be doing more than sitting around and listening to people tell you their problems." Her growing smile, dropped, "But then Scorpion wasn't doing so well and you didn't get along well with that Mark guy, so you turned back to gambling and fell into this deep, dark hole. Before I knew it, the person who I had fallen in love with was gone - you weren't this psychiatrist that everyone was in awe with." She scoffed, "You were addicted to gambling, the rush, the risk, the control, gambling away everything we had. While all I wanted was to go back to the simple life we had together in the beginning, where you were in private practice and the gambling was under control as much as it could be." 

A flash of fire grew in her eyes, "I asked you so many times for that, but you never even considered it." Then her shoulders sagged in defeat, "Just like I never even considered helping you or accepting that you weren't made for the private practice life. To be honest with you, I think I just wanted back the prestige from saying I was dating the smartest doctor in the world and for that, I will always be sorry." She looked him straight in the eye, "I let myself be blinded by everything you represented and that wasn't fair to you. I didn't judge you fairly. In the end, though, neither of us was willing to change for the other."

"So we grew apart," Toby commented. 

She nodded in agreement, her lips drawn in a tight line, "So instead of changing, we let ourselves drift apart, each resenting the other in some ways, while still holding on to what we could each represent. As you turned more to gambling, I turned to sex and the attention I got from it that I wasn't getting from you. It first, that's all it was, a way to release the stress I felt from dealing with you. I thought it was what I wanted. If you could to to the tables and ignore me, then I could go to another bed, all while still planning our wedding. I was young and stupid and it didn't even cross my mind to break up; I thought I was madly in love with you and I didn't want to lose the life we were going to have that I had built up in my head. I just wanted to hurt you as much as you were hurting me. But when I met Quincy," her face grew soft as she thought of her husband, "things changed. He treated me with respect, even at the beginning. He listened to me and was there for me, and I fell in love - not with the man I thought I had always wanted, but with a man that made me happier than I had ever been."

"Were we ever happy?" he asked thoughtfully.

"We were as happy as two people who didn't love each other in the right way could be." Leaning forward, Amy reached out and grabbed Toby's hand that was nervously playing with a string on his jeans, "I will always regret hurting you and wish more than anything that I could've done things differently, but I didn't and I hope you can forgive me for that one of these days."

"I do," he said quickly, "I forgive you. I was an equal party in the downslide of our relationship. I'm the one who found comfort in cards instead of you. I know I hurt you. And that's exactly what I can't do to Happy. I can't go to the cards instead of her. I won't."

A determined look crossed her face, "I changed for Quincy, became a better, less shallow person for him, just like you want to change and become a better person for Happy. People don't do that for just anyone, Toby, but I think you already know that. I know, with your mind set to it, you can get over this memory loss and gambling urge for her. You've already taken steps in the right direction."

"Do you really think that? Honestly?" he questioned, respecting her opinion. 

"You love her more than you love gambling, and that's huge Toby," she grinned as he nodded, "I am so proud of you for that." Standing, she moved back over to the couch and sat down next to him so he could see she truly meant what she was saying, "You deserve happiness after the crappy hand that life has dealt you, pardon the gambling reference. It's clear as day that she makes you happy. I can see it in your smile when you talk about her, the twinkle in your eyes when it's obvious you're thinking about her, the way you relax just mentioning her name, the love on your face when you were showing me pictures. You never acted like that with me," she placed her hand on his knee and squeezed, "but I am so happy that you found the person who could make you feel that way. That alone tells me that you'll succeed. So go home to her, share everything with her that you shared with me. She'll understand because she loves you. Don't be afraid anymore, don't self destruct. Let yourself be happy. You'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel. This control that you said you lost, it'll be back in your hands in no time. You can do this Toby."

"I can do this," he echoed. 

She patted his leg, then stood, "You can do this." Walking back over to her desk, she scribbled something down on a piece of paper, "Of course, it's not going to be easy. You're going to struggle with the gambling and the memory loss still. But if you talk to Happy, you can work through it. Just don't let it overtake you again. You know the signs, listen to them this time. Who knows how many second chances you'll get." She handed him the paper, "If you need another listening ear, though, call me. I'd be more than happy to help."

Toby stood and pulled her into a hug, "Thank you, Amy. I appreciate this more than you know."

"Anytime, Toby," she said pulling back, "I'm just glad, after all these years, I could finally help you in some way."

He walked to the door, feeling better than he had in months. He was excited to see Happy and tell her everything he had kept hidden. He was ready to get home to her, ready to work everything out and go back to the way things were. The urge to get home to her was the _only_ thing on his mind. 

"Bye Amy," he said over his shoulder, pulling open the door.

"Goodbye Toby," she smiled, "Good luck."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Happy, I'm home," he shouted with a grin as soon as he pushed open the door, "Honey, where are you?"

"Hi sweetie," she said with too bright of a smile, walking out of the kitchen. But Toby paid no attention to it. 

"Hey," he smiled, throwing down his bag, anxious to talk. "Listen we hav-"

"How was work?" Happy asked, her voice sweet, too sweet.

Toby's smile dropped, "Uh, about th-"

"Don't even try to answer that," she suddenly growled, fisting her hands by her side, "I know you were lying about Walter calling you in. What I don't know is why you lied, especially after you knew I was starting to forgive you for what had happened. Was a game really worth throwing it all away, Toby?"

He shook his head in confusion, "What? No, no there was no game. How did you know I wasn't at the garage?"

"I called Walt," she shouted, throwing up her hands in frustration. 

At that, all relief he was feeling left him and anger took its place, "You were checking up on me?"

She clenched her jaw, "No, I needed the battery specs from Walter so I called him to get them."

Toby walked over to the coffee table, "You mean these specs you left here in plain sight?"

Her eyes grew wide at getting caught, "Okay fine, I was checking up on you. I was worried about you, Doc. Can you really blame me?"

Toby took a deep breath, calming himself down, "No, I guess not. But I wasn't at a game, Hap. You have to believe me."

"Then where were you?" she spat her words out angrily. 

"I was with Amy."

"You what?" Happy whispered, dropping to the couch, all of her fight leaving her. 

He took a seat next to her, grabbing one of her shaky hands in his, "Baby, it's not what you think," he whispered, reaching out to push her hair off her forehead, "I'm still struggling with everything and since you were avoiding me I couldn't talk to you about it. Happy," he breathed out, anguish coming through in his words, "I _needed_ to talk to someone, so I decided to go to a therapist before I did something stupid again."

"So you sought out your ex-fiancée?" she bit out, sadness thick in her voice. 

"No, I didn't," he tried to reassure her, shaking his head forcefully, "A friend of mine set up an appointment with her colleague and she saw me in the waiting room. She came over to me, but of course, I had no idea who she was. I explained what happened and eventually asked if we could get together to talk sometime. She has information about my life that I want to know about it. Next thing I knew, we were in her office and I was telling her about everything that has happened recently." He squeezed her hand, "Happy, she helped me so much. For the first time in three days, I'm not thinking about gambling and I think I'm okay with not having my memories."

"Well good for you," she mumbled, standing up quickly, pinching the space between her eyes as she tried to make sense of everything. She started pacing, her anger growing again. "So you can talk to your ex-fiancée about your issues, but not me, your current fiancée?" She glared at him, "That's great, Toby, just wonderful."

Toby stood and grabbed her arms, stopping her in her tracks. Moving his hands up to either side of her neck, he gently tilted her head up so that she would meet his eyes. Then, in a soft, loving voice, he said, "First off, did you hear yourself? Ex and current? I don't even remember her, so it was like talking to a stranger."

She rolled her eyes, but didn't pull away, "Oh that makes me feel-"

"Second off," he interrupted her, kissing her forehead, "we pretty much spent the whole time talking about you, sweetheart. What I could do to fix myself, accept myself _for you_."

Happy sighed and a dejected look came over her face as she reached up to grab his wrists, her thumbs rubbing against his pulse point, "Toby, I don't want you to be okay with what's going on for me, I want you to do it for you."

Unable to help himself, he kissed her gently, hating the look on her face, "But I'm not me without you, Hap. I might say I want to accept everything for you, but I'm doing it for myself too." 

A large grin grew on his face as she stayed quiet, thinking about what he had just said. She narrowed her eyes at him when she noticed, "What's with the goofy grin, Doc?

"You love me," he stated, the grin only growing larger. 

Happy nodded with a confused look, "I do. I didn't think that was the problem here."

Shaking his head, he whispered, "No, you really love me." He led Happy back over to the couch, pulling her down next to him, and continued, "Today Amy said something that I'm starting to realize is true. She said that when someone is trying to change and better themselves you can tell who truly loves them by who wants it for that person, not who wants the person to change for their own selfish reasons. And you want it for me, not for you." He cupped her face again, his thumb brushing over the skin of her cheek, "You're not even really thinking about how it affects you, but only how it's causing me trouble. You love me."

Happy nodded again. A tear fell down her cheek, which Toby quickly brushed away. 

"I do love you. There's no question about that," she began in a shaky voice, "The problem I'm having is the leaving, the ignoring of the phone calls, the gambling, the lying - that stuff isn't you anymore, Toby. I may be angry about that, but that doesn't mean I question my feelings for you or your feelings for me."

"I know that you're upset, sugar plum," he said, wiping away another tear from her face, "but I'm getting help for all of that. I'm already feeling myself get better. You don't have to worry anymore." He brushed his lips against hers, "I'll come to you next time, and every time after that, when I'm feeling lost. I promise, I won't go to the cards."

Happy was quiet for a moment. Taking a deep breath, she pulled away from Toby. "I know you believe that and I want to too, but you lied to me Toby, just when I was ready to trust you again." She stood up and twisted her hands nervously, biting her lip as she weighed her next words carefully, "I need time to think. I'm happy for you, I am. It's wonderful that you're getting the help you need, but I still don't know why you didn't tell me this morning where you were going. I spent hours worrying about where you were and what you were doing. All because you felt the need to lie to me. This is just another thing to add to the list to worry about and I don't know how much more I can take." Her voice broke, "I love you, I do, but I'm not ready to forgive you yet. I need to be alone for awhile. I'm going for a drive."

Leaning down, she kissed his cheek, letting her lips linger for a second against his skin. Then turning, she grabbed her keys and walked out the front door without one glance back at Toby's bewildered and crestfallen face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three hours later and Happy still hadn't returned home. Toby was going crazy with worry. Every single bad thing that could've happened to her ran through his mind - car accident, mugging, running away. He had tried to call her, but her phone went straight to voicemail.

"Come on, Hap," he murmured, looking out a window for the hundredth time, "Where can you be?"

Moving to the couch, he took a seat and pulled out his phone. It was time to call Walter; he could hack her phone and turn it back on. 

"Toby?" Walter said into the phone. 

"Have you heard from Happy?" Toby asked quickly, ignoring any pleasantries. 

"Uh, no."

Toby could tell he was lying, "Okay, I know you're lying but I'll ignore it for now. Listen, she has her phone off and I'm worried. Can you, I don't know, turn it on or something so I can get in touch with her?"

"I don't know if that's a good idea. She would-"

At that moment, the door opened and Happy walked in. 

"Never mind. She's home," he said locking eyes with her before quickly hanging up the phone. "You're home."

"I am," she nodded, shrugging off her jacket, "and now I'm going to bed."

"Where were you?" he called out to her retreating figure. 

Stopping, she pivoted on her heel and turned to him, arms crossed over her chest, "Driving, for a while, and then I stopped by Paige's. Uh, Walter was there for a little bit too. Now, goodnight."

She started walking back to the bedroom. 

"I don't have a good reason," Toby called out, hoping to get her to stop again. 

She stopped, but didn't turn around, "What?"

He sighed and looked down at his hands, "I don't have a good reason for why I lied to you this morning. I've thought about it and nothing is good enough. The only reason I have is that I didn't want to get your hopes up. Mine weren't high and I couldn't stand it if I disappointed you again. I'm sorry."

Slowly she nodded, but still didn't turn to face him, "Thank you for telling me. I don't like knowing after the fact, but thank you. Goodnight."

Toby bit back a groan as she walked away. He had been hoping that she'd sit down and talk with him after hearing why he lied, but she was stubborn and could hold on to her anger like no one else he knew. Resigning himself to another night on the couch, he turned on the tv and tried to let his mind forget all the mistakes he had made over the past three days, but it was hard. 

Thirty minutes later, Toby heard Happy coming down the hall towards him. He tried to ignore the quickening of his heart and the hope that blossomed inside of him. He didn't look away from the tv when she came into the room. Silently, she made her way over to the couch, taking a seat next to him. Neither one spoke for a minute. 

Eventually, Toby could take the silence no longer, so he looked over at her and asked, "What're you doing sweet pea?"

A slight blush came over her face as she stared at the tv. Quietly, she mumbled, "I can't sleep without you anymore."

Toby's heart skipped a beat, but he held it in. "Hmm," he nodded, "I thought you had been looking a little more tired than normal."

"I've barely slept the past couple nights," she admitted.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked gently, turning off the tv and turning towards her. 

Moving her gaze to the coffee table, she ignored his question and began talking, "Paige said something tonight that got me thinking. She asked me what was more important, my relationship with you or the anger I'm feeling." 

Toby froze as he realized she was about to tell him what was going through her mind. 

Sliding her hand across the couch, she rested it on top of his and whispered, "And the answer is you, Doc, always you." She shifted closer and began tracing the veins in his hand as she continued, "I can be as mad as hell, but if it affects our relationship, then it's not worth it."

Toby flipped his hand over and interlocked their fingers. Hoping it would be enough to get her to look at him. 

It was. 

She looked up, her face full of emotions and reached up to run her fingers down the side of his face, "Toby, my anger isn't worth it. You're too important to me. I love you and if you're willing to deal with some overbearing tendencies for a little bit, then I'm done being angry. I know you'd never purposely hurt me. I know you love me and would do anything for me." She cleared her throat and smiled at the surprise on his face, "And I'd rather help you through all of this instead of getting angry at you. Being upset is tiring." 

A small laugh escaped from her mouth when he didn't say anything right away, "I'm making a mess of this. What I'm trying to say is that this is me telling you I forgive you and I trust you, I really do. I'm just sorry it took me awhile to realize all of this. You and me, our relationship is worth fighting for and I won't ever stop."

"I love you so much," he whispered, lurching forward and pressing his lips to hers in a relieved kiss. 

Her arms wrapped around his neck, her fingers automatically curling into his hair. With a small moan, he pulled her onto his lap, deepening their kiss. Straddling his lap, Happy pushed herself as close to him as she could with her large baby bump, and Toby was in heaven. Happy was back in his arms and she forgave him. Everything was perfect. 

Sliding his hands over her ass, he squeezed gently and pulled his mouth from hers. She whimpered at the loss of his kiss, but moaned in relief as his mouth found its place on her neck. Tilting her head back, her hips rolled in a circular rhythm as she tried to get closer to Toby. 

Toby slid his lips up her throat, to her jaw, pressing them back against her lips as his hands made a move under her shirt to gently caress her soft skin. Slowly, his moved his hands around to her bump, a smile growing on his face when he felt the baby kick, then continued up to her chest, loving the moan he elicited from her at his touch. 

"God, I've missed you," she mumbled, before moving her own lips to his jaw, lightly sucking at his skin as she moved down the column of his throat. 

Neither one knew how long they sat there making out like teenagers, complete with wandering hands and drawn out moans. 

"I love you, Hap," he breathed into her ear before she dragged his mouth back to hers. 

Fisting his hands in the bottom of her shirt, he made a move to pull it off, ready to take this to the bedroom. 

"Wait," she gasped, pushing him back, but following his mouth with her own, "I want to know everything first." 

He quirked an eyebrow at her in confusion to which she responded with an eye roll, "You spent over five hours with your ex today. I want to know everything - what she said and did, what you said, what you thought, what you figured out." She leaned in and placed her hand on his cheek, kissing him again, then mumbled against his lips, "Everything."

"Right now?" he whined, sticking out his lip in a pout, letting his fingers slide back under her shirt to ghost across her skin.

She laughed lightly and nodded, rubbing her thumb across his lip, "Right now, you big baby. Before we get too distracted and I forget to ask."

"Are you sure?" he whispered, placing another light kiss on her neck, his fingers continuing their path across her back. 

He grinned in satisfaction as she shivered, goosebumps rising on her skin. But it quickly dropped when she pulled his hand from her body and nodded.

"I'm sure," she said, shifting off of him and on to the couch. 

"You're cruel," he pouted, wrapping his arm around her back when she leaned into his side. 

"I know, baby," she crooned, mocking the look on his face. 

He sighed in defeat, "Okay, what do you want to know?"

"I already told you," she said, nuzzling her face into his chest, "everything."

So that's what he did. He told her everything that had happened that day, everything that he had felt and thought since he woke up in the hospital room, everything. He didn't spare any detail, telling her all that he had previously kept from her. And she listened with rapt attention, smiling when he told her about his thoughts the first time he saw her, blinking back tears when he explained his struggle. He continued talking for hours until he noticed her nodding off against him, realizing for the first time that it was almost three in the morning. 

"Alright," he laughed, patting her side, "you're falling asleep on me. That's enough for tonight."

"No," she mumbled, shaking her head and forcing herself to sit up, "I'm awake. Keep going."

He yawned and stood up, "You might be awake, but I'm ready to crash. I'll tell you more tomorrow."

She stretched and a large yawn took over, "I guess, if you insist."

"I insist," he chuckled, pulling her to her feet. 

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, kissing the top of her head, and they walked down the hall to their bedroom - well Happy more like shuffled. Happy, already dressed for bed in Toby's shirt and sleep shorts, quickly brushed her teeth and climbed into bed, a content smile on her face as she waited for Toby to finish up. The second he slid into bed, she curled into his side to the best of her ability, pillowing her head on his chest, the feeling of sleep already over taking her. Toby kissed the top of her head, murmuring that he loved her, his fingers ghosting up and down her arm in a comforting pattern. 

"I'm sorry for everything I did," he mumbled quietly, breaking the silence of the room, "But I want you to know I'm trying, Hap, I really am and I never meant for any of this to happen."

She turned her head and placed a kiss on his bare chest, "I know, old habits die hard I guess. I fell back into my old habits so easily." She pulled herself closer to him, "That scared me. It just shows that we make each other so much better. I like who I am with you a hell of a lot better than who I am without you."

He laughed lightly, "And I like myself with you. Although I really don't remember anything else. I'm just glad we were able to figure things out. And I swear to you, God as my witness, nothing like this will ever happen again. I've learned my lesson. There is noth-" he stopped talking when he saw that Happy was already fast asleep. 

"Goodnight princess, I love you," he whispered into the darkness. 

The next morning, Toby woke to a sliver of sunlight shining through the crack in the curtains. He immediately grinned, a feeling a contentment filling him. Turning his head, he saw Happy on her side, facing away from him, a small smile on her face as she slept. Toby hadn't realized until just this moment how completely happy he could be. The weight that he had on his shoulders ever since he had woken up was gone, Happy was in the bed next to him, both she and the baby were healthy - he felt nothing but bliss, pure unadulterated bliss. It didn't matter now if he ever remembered or not because he had everything he had ever wanted here in this bed with him. 

Sliding closer to Happy, he propped himself up on an elbow and looked down at her sleeping figure. Reaching out, he pushed her hair off her face and neck, loving the feeling of her soft skin under his fingers. He slid his hand over her stomach, love filling him when he felt their baby girl rolled around. Then leaning down, he placed soft, sweet kisses on Happy's face, neck, and shoulder. 

"Morning sweetheart," he whispered when she started to stir. 

"Morning," she said sleepily, smiling as she leaned back into him and his touch. 

"How'd you sleep?" he asked softly into her ear, smiling in satisfaction at her shiver. 

"Mmmm," she hummed, "best nights sleep in three days."

"Good," he murmured, leaning down and pressing his lips on hers when she rolled over to her back. He pulled back and chuckled, glancing briefly down at Happy's stomach, "Miss M sure is kicking up a storm today."

Placing her hand next to his, she nodded, "Sure is. She hasn't been this active in days."

Sliding down Happy's body, he lifted her shirt and kissed her stomach, talking directly to the baby, "You must know everything's alright again, huh sweetie? You're just joining in on our excitement. I bet it's getting pretty cramped in there now, huh baby girl? Well don't you worry, in just seven short weeks you'll be getting out of there. I can't wait to meet you, in case you forgot. I-" He looked up when he felt Happy tug on his hair.

"I know she has probably missed having you talk to her _all the time_ ," she said with a smirk, "but I have missed you too. I think I deserve some attention now."

Toby grinned and turned back to her stomach, kissing it again, "I don't know baby girl, what do you think? Should I show mommy some loving? I think she's getting a little jealous due to lack of attention here."

"Oh shut up," she laughed, pushing his face away from her stomach gently, "I am not jealous of our daughter."

"Whatever you say, sugar lips," he teased, then turned back to her bump, caressing it lovingly, "She's lying, you know. What she doesn't realize though, is that for the next seven weeks she's going to be showered by my attention because when you get here, it'll be months before we get alone time again. She's going to get so sick of me. So I figure she can deal for a few minutes while we have some daddy-daughter time."

"Okay," Happy groaned, "I'm going to get breakfast now." 

Then much to Toby's surprise, she managed to roll out of bed faster than an pregnant lady ever should. Toby scrambled up the bed and onto his knees, reaching out and grabbing her before she got away. 

"Let me go," she laughed, playfully pushing Toby away, "I want to go eat."

He grinned, catching her around the waist and pulling her back onto the bed, "Oh no you don't. You're staying here so I can make proper love to you." He leaned down and peppered kisses all over her smiling face. 

"Is that so?" she bit back a moan when his hand slid teasingly down her side, before sliding in shorts and settling between her legs. 

"Mhmm," he hummed against her skin, sloppily kissing her neck. 

Her hand gripped his head tightly. She was squirming at his touch, moaning incoherent words. Shutting her eyes and throwing her head back, desire began overtaking every fiber of her being. Toby's touch was relentless, his kiss was drugging. Before long, she felt herself falling over the edge, Toby's name falling from her lips. 

"Okay," he smirked, kissing her lips again when she came back down from the high she was on, "You can get up now."

Before Toby could even react, she had rolled him over and was straddling his waist, her hands splayed flat against his chest, "Like hell I will."

Toby's hand found their home on her hips as she slowly began rocking them against his. 

"Is this for real?" he murmured to himself, "Like is this really happening to me?"

Happy quirked an eyebrow and looked down at him. 

Toby grabbed her hand and kissed her fingers, his own playing with her ring, "I'm engaged to the most beautiful women in the world and we're about to start a family." He slid his hand up arm to cup the back of her neck, his thumb rubbing the side of her neck, sending shivers throughout her body. "And she's sitting on top of me, wearing my clothes."

Happy smirked, quickly pulling off the shirt and throwing it to the ground. Her eyebrows waggled and she ground down on him, "Now I'm not."

"Have I died?" Toby moaned, his eyes widening in lust, "Have I told you you're the perfect woman?"

Rolling her eyes, she smiled and leaned down so her mouth was brushing his, "Just shut up and kiss me."

"Yes ma'am."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Four weeks had passed and things were better than ever for the couple. It seemed that ever since Toby finally opened up to her, their relationship had grown stronger; they were more in love, more communicative, just more all around. For the first week and a half, Happy lived up to her overbearing tendencies, but that had waned off when he realized he meant what he said - he would rather go to her than the cards. Toby saw Amy about once a week, to stay on top of everything. He rarely thought of gambling, although the occasional commercial or talk about something in his past would lead to the thought running through his head. But whenever that happened, Happy was right there and ready to be a sounding board.

Happy was officially taken off all work related cases. Paige had lectured Walter until she was blue in the face about the dangers of stress and work on a pregnant lady. And much to Happy's dissatisfaction, Walter agreed. He wouldn't even discuss their jobs with her, even though she was at the garage still every day. 

She smiled to herself as she watched Toby saunter over her way after a team meeting, which she wasn't allowed to listen in on. Setting down the mobile she was creating for the baby, she reached over and turned down her music, her way of pretending that she wasn't listening to the team meeting, when in actuality she had her own listening device installed that only Toby knew about - she could hear everything. She didn't like being left in the unknown and wanted to be prepared, just in case they needed her. 

"So you and Walter are headed to the wind farm?"

Toby smirked, "Do you know how much trouble you are going to be in when Walter finds your listening device?"

"He won't, unless you tell him. And I can tell you right now, you will suffer," she teased him, walking around her workbench to stand in front of him. "Are you sure you don't want me to come though? Machines, that is sort of my speciality."

Toby laughed, "Yeah, right. I'm going to send my very pregnant fiancée almost 350 feet in the air. That sounds smart."

Happy poked his stomach, "Stop, you know I hate not being able to go on case with you guys."

"I know, but it's only for a little while. You'll be able to go back out when our girl is in kindergarten."

"Toby," she playfully glared at him. 

He laughed loudly, "Kidding, it'll be when she leaves for college."

"Toby, we have to get going," Walter called out from across the garage.

"Okay, I'll be right there," Toby shouted back. He turned to Happy, "We will only be gone for a few hours, but if you need anything, and I mean anything, I'm just a phone call away."

Happy reached out and fisted his shirt in her hand, pulling him to her, "I'll be fine, Doc, don't worry."

He kissed her quickly, "But you'll call?"

She rolled her eyes, but smiled, "Yes, I will call if I need anything."

"Good," he murmured before capturing her lips with his again. Then pulling back, he bent down and kissed her stomach, "Now you, little miss, you better stay in there until daddy gets back."

Happy chuckled, running her fingers through his hair, "Toby, she's not due for another three weeks and you know Sly said only 7.3% of first babies are born this early, so I think we'll be fine. She's not going to come while you're gone. And besides," she said, pulling him back up to her level, "you'll only be less than an hour away. I know this is the first time we're doing this, but I'm pretty damn sure that labor lasts more than an hour."

He grinned sheepishly, "You bring up very good points, Miss Quinn. Just, please, be careful."

"I will. Don't worry," she whispered with a loving grin, raising up on her tiptoes to kiss him one more time before pushing him away. 

"Toby!" Walter was annoyed now. 

"God, I'm coming," he called out, then turned to Happy and waggled his eyebrows, "That's what you said last night."

"Just go," she laughed, rolling her eyes again. 

"Love you, baby," he said, walking away. 

"Love you too. See you tonight."

She watched him as he grabbed his stuff and met a frustrated Walter by the door. He waved to her and slipped out the door, telling Walter that he needed to can it on the efficiency stuff he was lecturing him about. Happy laughed and went back to her mobile, getting lost in the mechanics and design of it. 

The ringing of a phone pulled her attention away some time later. Cabe stood from his spot at the kitchen table where he was playing a game with Ralph and answered it. She watched for a hot second, then turned back, not interested in whatever government business he was handling at the moment. 

"What?" Cabe's loud voice rang through the air, dragging Happy's attention back to him, "Are you sure?"

He shot a glance Happy's way and then turned to look at Paige who was regarding him questioningly. She observed the shocked look on his and instantly felt sick. She set down the mobile and walked over towards Paige. 

"Do you know what that's about?" she asked the other woman under her breath. 

Paige shook her head, "No, but it sounds serous."

"That's what I'm worried about."

Cabe started walking back towards them, speaking quietly in to the phone, "Alright, I'll be right there. Thanks for letting me know so quickly."

"What's going on, Cabe?" Happy questioned the second he pulled the phone from his ear. 

He paused for a moment, his mouth hanging open in disbelief, "I don't know how to tell you this."

"What?" Paige whispered, grabbing Happy's hand. 

"Uh, there," he cleared his throat, "there was an accident. A hit and run. Toby and Walter, their car was t-boned."

Happy though her legs were going to give out, but stayed upright, "What aren't you telling me?"

"It-it hit the passenger side. I-I am so sorry."


End file.
